I loved him, really loved him. His hands were roaming all over my body and I found myself melting into him. I loved him, I was so sure. I breathed in his scent, strong and completely infatuated with me. I loved the way his body felt, and he liked mine.
Adrian loved me. That was all I needed. We kissed hungrily, he reached for my top and I didn't stop him from taking it off. I lay back against the cool grass, Adrian leaning over me. The sun light him up like an angel and I smiled.
"I love you," he said. I giggled but he didn't let me reply as he kissed me again. I enjoyed it for as long as I could. But something changed, the way he was holding me, and kissing me. His scent changed too, to one I knew all too well.
I flickered my eyes open briefly, and I gasped. There he was, leaning over me smiling, really smiling. I tried to wriggle out from under him, but there was no use. There used to be a day when I had lived for those smiles, now they brought back bitter memories.
"Roza," he murmured ever so lightly. He reached over and tucked me hair behind my ear. I didn't flinch or even blink. I was staring. I sat there half dressed in the Courts private park. He couldn't be here, not now.
"Your love has faded," I said it as if it never hurt me. But in truth, those words cut me deeper than I could have ever imagined. He didn't move, the words seemed to not even affect him. His face grew serious for a moment. And then he sighed.
"Roza, you know me. I never ever meant that," he said in a very serious tone. I tilted my head slightly. Feeling a tad confused, but the man that I would always love was leaning over me telling me he still loved me.
"Remember what I said? You're forever burned into me," I smiled and put my forehead to his. "I know Comrade, I'll always love you". He was a little confused but he took what he could get. He came back down and began kissing me once again.
Forever…I hoped to god that this was real. He began pulling at my shorts and just as we were about to connect in every aspect possible. I woke up.
I gasped for air as I leaned up. My face was tearstained and my hair was something close to a pile of sticks. I wiped the tears from my eyes. I felt silent tears falling from my eyes. The cell I'd been put in was nothing special, Dimitri's in fact.
A bed, toilet and white walls to entertain me, above me a tiny window led to the surface. I could see people walking past from a distance, but now all I could see were heavy raindrops falling against the glass. The rain in a way used to be therapeutic for me, today it just reminded me of what I would never see or fell again.
Those cool water droplets against my skin as I twirled around in circles laughing as hard as I could. Next to me Lissa would do the same, we'd laugh and laugh and eventually fall in a heap on the ground together. Our clothes soaked, and make-up running. In those moments, we were so free and happy.
I leaned into the corner near my bed and rested my head against the cold hard wall as I brought my knees to my chest. I hoped in some small way it would bring me comfort. But all it did was make me feel more, empty.
I began to cry again, never in my life had I cried so hard. My dark hair clung to my face, and I buried my head in my hands. I felt terrible for dreaming of Dimitri, he'd hurt me for the last time and I needed to be at peace. I hoped that Adrian would do that, he'd helped me when Dimitri had been turned, but that one man would always own some part of my heart. I was distracted from my thoughts from one of the guardians who looked after my cell.
"Miss Hathaway, you have a visitor". He said coldly. I was yet to learn his name and I'd only been down here a few days. He had white blonde hair that was always slicked back in a way that freaked me out. I glared at him. I rarely accepted visitors unless I was in the mood for a pity party.
Adrian told me in my dreams that I contradicted myself. All I do is cry and mope around my cell. I was scared, but I wasn't about to let him know that.
"Who?" I asked curiously. "Mr Ivaskov, is upstairs now," I frowned and shook my head. "No," I said simply. He took it as my final answer and left to tell the guards to let him leave.
I didn't want to talk to Adrian now, I was too tired but as I rested my head back against the wall and let sleep take me I was annoyed to be pulled into yet another dream with none other than Adrian.
"Hello little, Dhampir," he smirked. He wore his trademark grin and messy hair. All I could smell was smoke and alcohol, but I wasn't in a mood. I crossed my arms over my chest not taking any notice of what I was wearing or where I was.
"What'd want Adrian? I'm tired," I said annoyed. He looked at me concerned. "You're asleep, what's up with your aura?" He studied me for a moment. I shrugged "You exhaust me sometimes," he shook his head. "It's all love and shit, mixed with sadness?" I just stood there annoyed.
"Having erotic dreams about me I see," I rolled my eyes. He ran a hand through his hair as thought this was awkward. In my mind it was, Dimitri was always the cause between us.
"Rose, are you okay?" I walked over to him quickly and kissed him. I rested my hand against his cheek and smiled. My hair spilled over my shoulders and I was happy to see it clean and styled at least.
"I'm fine really, just tired. I'm leaving now, okay?" he nodded and kissed me lightly on the lips. I forcefully pulled myself out of his dream and finally after all of the dreams about the men in my life, fell into a lifeless sleep where I had no worries and though I didn't want to admit it, I lived in haven with Dimitri.