"Again"

Welcome my friends to the show that never ends…. No that's not going to work.. what? That's the perfect way to open up.. No it's not… It's not even original… What are you talking about I just made that line up! No you didn't that's a line from a song.. Oh fuck your right I forgot… Shit what I am going to say? I don't know but it's a funeral not a circus I would think something a bit more rhymie would be better.

Are you kidding me, these two idiots are mine…Yep they are all yours. Their has to be some kind of mix up. Get God on the phone. Like he has time for you. What about the Devil, give him a ring.. He doesn't want to hear from you either.

Now get down off your fucking cloud and do your fucking job. You know for a angel you say fuck a lot. I am going to stick a lightning bolt up your fucking ass if you don't shut the fuck up and get down there. I'm going, I'm going you don't have to be so fucking pushy.

Who ever said dying was easy clearly hadn't died before they said that.

My name is Peter Panington… Excuse Me! Oh Fuck! Sorry oh great voice I forgot! My name was Peter Panington I am in limbo now so I don't have a name anymore I just am. That's better! Continue….

In the past living and dying was easy. You lived and than you died and than you went to either Heaven or Hell. But neither God or the Devil thought that man kind would be around for ever, both thought we would die off and there would be plenty of room in both Heaven and Hell but they where wrong and now they are full.

So the two of them came up with this grand fucking idea to let us live our lives over again when we die and I am the first one to be sent back. But it's not as easy has it sounds because God and the Devil only have pity on the young and the old ,they get to start over from the beginning us middle age Fucks people between 35 and 50 will have to live it from where it ended …something like a continuation but different if we change our ways and better our selves we get to go to heaven if we stay the same or get worse we go to hell and I have to document everything I do plus I am being watched by the annoying voice Hey That's Not Nice!… Sorry! And by The Angel of Death… watch it fuck nuts.

Peter, yes voice ,you need to know something. What? We are not sure how this is going to work. What? What the voice is trying to say to you Fuck Head is that being the first to go back we are not sure where you are going to end up. What do you mean? Well here you are in limbo you are not dead you are not alive but when we go down there you will be alive and we have to bring you back to where you where just before you died so if we go to far forward we are going to have to kill yeah.. What? And if we go to far back we are going to have to kill you again. Wait! Are you two fucking with me. No! And it's going to hurt… Fuck You Death!

Chapter I

"The Funeral Home"

Where the fuck are we?

We are at the funeral home.

Oh Fuck I am dead already? Not yet! Now Death be nice….

Yes Peter we came back to late… after your death.

You Fuckers did this on purpose!

Now Peter we told you this might happen.

You two also told me you are going to have to kill me…Fuck!

We can't kill you just yet dumb ass we have orders..

Orders, what orders?

Remember you have to document everything and than we get to kill you.

Fuck!

Lets get inside and see what's going on.

Wait aren't people going to notice that I am not dead?

Since you are already dead here at this time, you are more like a ghost a spirit of your self.

So that means you won't have to kill me later on than.

Sorry bud that is one job perk I ain't giving up.

So Casper who do we have here.

The two idiots planning my funeral are my sons, Mike and Ike

So who's who?

It does not matter which one is which because they are twins and neither my wife or I could tell who's who and to tell you the truth I really don't think they knew either.

They are not the smartest pair but what can I say I was cursed. That's no way to talk about your kids… Fuck you voice and have you meet the two of them yet just you wait and see. There mother was sexy as shit but dumb as a pile of rocks. Your wife is hot ay… Fuck You death you stay the Fuck away from my wife.