This is a one-shot for the CMDA Board 'Rod Challenge'. I've set it as a glimpse from their journey during the blight, so it wouldn't interrupt the main storyline of Impossible Dreams.
Hope all you Cheeky Monkeys enjoy! Big thanks to my ridiculously awesome Beta, Jinx1983 :)
The mood in camp was quite riotous, relief palpable at the successful retrieval of a pinch of Andraste's Ashes.
Alistair leaned back against a log in front of the fire, enjoying the feeling. He finally felt like they were getting somewhere.
He smiled fondly as he watched Lyssa dancing with Leliana around the fire, their laughter singing out in the night air. Oghren had produced some of his secret stash of alcohol, while still managing to keep his hiding place unknown. They had all been celebrating what they felt was a major victory in their fight.
Grinning at Oghren doing his happy dance nearby, he guessed some had been drinking more than others. Zevran joined the two ladies dancing and it quickly turned into a match between Leli and Lyss as to who could confound Zevran the most. Leliana was winning and Alistair decided it was because Lyssa wasn't trying that hard. She caught Alistair's eye and grinned happily.
She left their two friends trying to outmanoeuvre each other and danced over to him. She tripped as she reached him and almost landed on him. He laughed and reached out, drawing her into his lap as she tried to blow an errant lock of hair out of her face. Her flushed cheeks, silly grin and glittering eyes clued him in that his little mage might also have had quite a bit to drink. She was breathless from dancing and giggled as she kissed him, then squirmed around in his lap so she could watch the two dancers.
She laughed as she saw Leliana try and draw Sten in, teasing him with giggles and cries of 'Softie' but the stoic Qunari refused to move. When Leliana finally gave up and decided to try her luck with someone else, disappearing into the dark, Lyssa caught the small smile he tried to suppress.
Morrigan's vitriolic curses rang out, and Leliana rapidly reappeared into the firelight, her eyes wide, breathless and biting her lip, but when she met Zevran's grin, she burst out laughing. Shale stomped over to them and did some sort of odd rhythmic thing which she could only assume was dancing and Zev and Leli took it in good part and danced along with the Golem. Dog had bounced around them all in his own Mabari dance for a while but was now fast asleep on his back near Sten, paws twitching in the air.
Wynne had gone to bed already, tired from the fight in the temple. After watching the antics before she went, she had commented she would be putting wadding in her ears and woe betide anyone that physically woke her before morning.
Lyssa wriggled deeper into Alistair's lap, immediately returning his attention to her, and inevitably the attention of another part of him. She felt the reaction and giggled, turning again so she was facing him. She leaned up, speaking softly into his ear and suddenly the blush on his cheeks had nothing to do with the heat of the fire or the brandy he'd been drinking, and everything to do with the woman in his lap whispering suggestively to him. He thought he held out remarkably well until she mentioned something about his rod and then with a faint 'oookay', he got his arms under her and got to his feet. She squealed and clutched at him as he strode towards their tent and set her down so she could crawl inside. He crouched down and was about to ask her if she needed anything before they retired, when her hand reached out and yanked him in. Laughing, he managed to scramble in so he didn't land on his face and Lyssa was giggling at him as he turned over and propped himself up on his elbows.
"So, you mentioned something about my rod?" he teased. Lyssa pulled his shirt out from his breeches and encouraged him to take it off, and he laughingly complied, managing to avoid her 'help' from taking his nose off. Lyssa sighed blissfully and snuggled into his side, tracing an idle finger over the defining muscles of his chest.
"Well it occurred to me you have a rod that has many states" she said a little giddily.
"My 'rod' is it?" he asked with a snort.
"Seems an appropriate description" she grinned up at him.
"OK minx, I'll play, what about my 'rod'?"
"Weeellll" she drew out, finding his pectoral muscles fascinating "Sometimes it's soft"
"True, but it definitely has a habit of not being so when you are around, and often at the most inopportune moments."
She giggled again, tickling him and making him squirm.
"And then it gets harder!" she announced and started laughing as she spluttered "a hardened rod!"
"Yes yes, very funny let's have a laugh at Alistair's hardened rod" he teased, tickling her back and making her squeal.
"Oh oh!" she exclaimed, almost in tears from laughter "so hard it could almost be made of iron!"
Alistair groaned at her joke "Alistair's hardened iron rod?"
Lyssa was in fits beside him and it was so infectious, he couldn't help but laugh with her, shaking his head affectionately at his drunk little mage.
Gasping for breath, she looked up at him, love and life shining in her eyes.
"Want to show me your.." she began and Alistair pulled her on top of him.
"Show you? I think a little demonstration is in order, don't you?" he said and claimed her mouth with his.
She broke off after a few heated minutes and looked at him seriously "Little? I think it's rather magnificent!" she pouted then yelped when Alistair smacked her backside.
He growled at her as he began kissing her urgently and suddenly it was passion taking her breath away instead of laughter. He proceeded to thoroughly show her just what his magnificent rod could do... twice.