author's message? 8D: Yep, I wanted to try a hand at first person POV. 8D Please read, review, critique, you know the drill? 8D

If only I was pretty. Why wasn't I just born pretty?

He always passes by my locker, every single day, with a gorgeous girl in his arms, every single time. He would always be with someone prettier than I could ever be. He'd be smiling, that lazy, arrogant smile of his, that would have annoyed me as much as Matthias if it weren't so charming, and so true.

He looked different from everyone else, that was a fact. Nobody else had fair, translucent skin that seemed to glow in the bright lights of the school's hallway. His crimson eyes and pure, white hair were his alone to call his own. He was different. He was his own person.

Perhaps that's why all the girls like him.

Perhaps that's why I love him.

I've only watched from the distance, in the midst of shadows, but I know enough to be able to say confidently that I know what he's like. I know that he drinks beer, even though he's exactly three months underage. I know that his favorite meal consists of wurst and boiled potatoes. I know that his younger brother is only adopted, though he loves him as though they shared the same blood in their veins. I know that he only fails his tests because he doesn't care about it, and that he's actually very smart and cunning deep within his façade.

I know that even if he seems so loud and arrogant, he's actually lonely inside.

Hard to believe, but he's a loner, just like me. He can mask his feelings behind a laugh for others, but I can see beyond that. I just know it.

I know I don't stand a chance, but perhaps… if he just got to know me, he would like me too. I know I wasn't the friendliest person in the world, nor am I the most good-looking. I can listen, though. I can be his friend. His constant companion. And perhaps, if fate allows it, I can be something even more to him…

His voice, rough and hardly resonant, pierced the air of constant silence that I had been in. There he was, at around the same time as usual, yet this time, he had no girl by his side.

I dropped the pile of books I had on hand near him, just as I had rehearsed inside my mind subconsciously for days, perhaps even weeks. I saw him blink slowly for a few moments, then smile that carefree, arrogant smirk that graced his face all the time. He leaned down, picked all of the dusty, heavy books up, as if with no effort at all, then handed them to me.

"My name's Gilbert, if you dunno that yet. And, ah, I would have wanted to meet you and all, since I always notice you here and all that, but I'm kind of in a rush right now. I promised Liz that I'd see her by the courtyard in around… five minutes from now. See you around."

I remained silent, merely nodding when he said goodbye, only watching quietly as he ran off, in a big hurry, towards yet another girl. I felt like slapping myself. That was my chance, and I let it go. What a fool I was.

I felt as though the tears would burst and flow down my cheeks as I let go of the books he had handed me, and watched them fall down uselessly upon the floor.

If only I was a girl. Why wasn't I just born a girl?

author's random thingers: ... I dunno anymore 8D fff that was... OOC ffff D: 8D