Inspired by Russell Peters' "You kill me? I kill me." Go look it up, guys. Seriously, it's hilarious.
Oh right. [insert standard disclaimer]
Cannot be Intimidated (Also, Why You Don't Start Wars with the Arabs)
The young blond male wore a serious expression, sky-blue eyes cold behind wire frames. "عبد الله I'm just warning you. We're going to come into your country and attack you."
The burly man stood at attention and nodded, passively brushing off the comment as if it wasn't a threat. "OK."
The American sputtered in disbelief, and subtly turned to the man behind him for advice. "Do you think he understood that? I don't think he understood. Alright, let me tell him again." Addressing the bearded man, he ran a lightly tanned hand through his wheat-blond hair. "We're gonna come into your country," attempting to be intimidating, he made a half-clawing motion, "and attack you!"
The stoic man merely nodded, smirking in an attempt to hold back a chuckle at the westerner's antics. Again, he passively brushed off the threat as if it was a harmless comment. "No problem, no problem." The men behind him were looking a bit put-off, so he addressed their worries. "It's OK, if he wants to come, let him come" he waved his hand in welcome. "Come on, let's go. Come on."
America turned to his advisors "I think we're gonna have to break it down for this guy." He turned back to عبد الله, praying that this last attempt would get through to him. "OK… We're gonna come into your country" he paused to think of a different word choice "and kill you."
At this, the Iraqi man shifted his stance; brown eyes flashed and then darkened, and he gave a sardonic smile. "Oh yeah?" The American stood a bit straighter, hoping that he had finally intimidated the seemingly impenetrable Arab man. "You kill me?" The Arab man flipped off the American "Eh, FUCK YOU!" He was livid, the only outward signs being a harder stare, and his firmly set jaw. Alfred just stood mouth agape in disbelief that the other man wasn't pissing his pants. It only got worse as the man jabbed a tanned finger in his direction. "You don't kill me." He paused, and pointed at himself for emphasis. "I kill me. And you!"
Alfred's jaw hit the floor. This guy was fucking INSANE.
عبد الله = Abd-Allah, or "Servant of God" -shot-