Author's Note: This thing is utter crack, inspired by a conversation with a friend that started out about Estelle trying to figure out Repede's type so she could set him up with a girlfriend. It lead to other things, the two of us acting out a couple lines, and, well...this. I hope you enjoy!

Put a Sock in It!

by Navvy

"Repede! Look! I've got a really tasty snack for you...ah-!" Estelle squeaked in frustration as the dog ignored her offering of beef and retreated.

The party was dining in a tavern in Dahngrest, one that allowed Repede in as a special privilege to Brave Vesperia. As it had turned out, he was rather popular with the staff.

"My, what a big tough doggie you are," one of the waitresses cooed at him, offering a piece of jerky.

Out of habit, Yuri was quick to warn the girl. "He's not a big fan of strangers, so don't be disappointed if...huh..." He trailed off as his faithful companion approached the waitress, gulped back the jerky, and obediently sat for an ear scratch. "Well, that's not something I see every day."

"Oh- Why is he letting her close but not me?" the princess pouted in defeat. It just wasn't fair.

Karol took this moment to put his foot in his mouth. "Repede was like that with Judith, too. Raven must be right! He's a fan of pretty girls." Immediately after the words left his mouth, he realized what he said and looked quickly to Estelle. It was too late; the offended girl was already getting in his face.

"I'm a pretty girl too!"

"I-I didn't mean it like that! R-Raven, say something!"

However, the old man was so absorbed in watching the waitress that he was only half-listening. "Yeah, would ya look at that? Ain't she just a beauty?"

"Hey, old man. You're not looking at her face," Yuri observed with a quirked eyebrow.

Estelle then followed Raven's gaze to the waitress' chest. Suddenly, everything clicked into place and she slammed her hands down on the table, startling Karol so badly he fell out of his chair. "Ah! Yuri, Repede likes bouncy girls! I...I can't compete," she moaned as she stared miserably down at her less-than-ample chest.

"It's...it's okay, Estelle," Karol started shakily as he sat back down. "I mean, he's okay with Rita and she's-ow!" His sentence was cut short when the mage in question slammed a fist into his head.

"Oh, I don't know," was Judith's contribution. "Rita's only fifteen. She might still have some growing to do. Repede is very smart, so he could've picked up on that."

That was the nail in the coffin for Estelle and she buried her face in her hands. To think that Rita would someday be bigger than her-was that the reason Repede was fascinated with the mage, too? It was no wonder Repede always ran away from Estelle. She just didn't bounce-and probably never would. There was nothing she could do to make her chest bigger!

Even after supper had finished, those were still the thoughts running through Estelle's mind as she dejectedly sat on her bed in the girls' room at the inn. Judith was out speaking with Ba'ul, though Rita was sitting at the desk a few feet away.

It wasn't long before the mage decided Estelle had been moping enough and, with a sigh, she turned to look at her friend. "Hey, Estelle. You know sitting there like that isn't going to make you get any bigger."

"B-but...what can I do to get as big as Judith?" She turned imploringly to the mage, her eyes wide and on the verge of tears. "It's hopeless, isn't it? I'm not going to grow any more..."

"So stuff your shirt and see if he hangs around."

"What? I-I, but- Um, I couldn't possibly-!" The princess stammered in embarrassed shock. "...D-do you think it would work?"

With an indifferent shrug, Rita handed her some balled-up fabric. "I don't see what the big deal is. Here, take my socks."

She hesitated a moment, then snatched up the garments, her face red. "Uh...um...thank you! I'll-I'll give it a try!" She wasn't about to lose to nature! With renewed determination, she carefully stuffed the socks down the front of her dress-trying her best to ignore the odour and the realization that Rita had probably been wearing them all day; it was the thought that counted, after all. She took a few moments to adjust their position to her liking, then looked in the mirror. It didn't look unnatural at all, and besides that..."I...I look bigger! Look, Rita! I can bounce!"

"U-uh, that's...good for you." Rita tried not to glance too much at Estelle as the princess hopped up and down in front of the mirror.

"All right! Now Repede will have no choice but to accept me!"

Outside, Yuri was reporting back to the inn, bringing with him a little job for the guild. He began to head towards the entrance when something caught his eye.

Next to the doorway, Repede warily eyed one pink-haired princess, who was advancing on him with an expression of determined resolve; the sort she wore when facing down the toughest enemies.

Never gonna give up, is she? He was torn between laughing and sighing, and decided to see how long it took before Repede scooted away.

Estelle got within six feet, and the dog stayed put. That wasn't cause for surprise, since she could occasionally get closer than that. However, when Repede showed no signs of moving even as she came within two feet, Yuri couldn't help but stare. The world seemed to grind to a halt as Estelle reverently stretched out her fingers, almost looking like she was afraid to touch him and break the spell-

Her fingers came in contact with coarse fur and Estelle let out the breath she'd been holding in a great gasp. She couldn't believe it! Repede was actually letting her touch him without complaint. Happiness swelled within her chest so strongly that she thought she would burst. For his part, the dog leaned forward slightly to sniff her, his nose brushing her chest. It reminded Estelle just why she'd been allowed so close-it seemed Repede was a perverted dog, after all. She felt almost guilty, like she was cheating somehow, but...it was okay, just this once, right?

"Well...congratulations, Estelle."

The princess whipped her head around to see Yuri standing there surprised and amused, and she straightened up to beam at him. "I finally did it, Yuri!"

"That's great. I never thought I'd see it." Truth be told, he was pretty surprised, but there was something different about Estelle, too-and it wasn't just the way she looked so elated when she bounced to her feet-

Bounced. The realization hit him with all the force of a boar's angry charge but before he could say anything, Estelle excitedly cried out that she was going to go tell everyone and bounced off.

Bounced. Something about this just wasn't right.

Back inside, the door to the girls' room nearly flew off its hinges as it was thrown open and Rita was halfway through casting a fireball before she could register who it was. As soon as Estelle came dashing over to her, she ceased the spell, but she definitely wasn't expecting to be swept up in a tight hug.

"Rita! It-it worked! You were right! I'm so happy!" The princess laughed gleefully, so elated she was almost crying. "It's all thanks to you!"

The mage sorted through all this sudden sensory input, not sure if she should hug Estelle back, but one thing was for sure: She was just as surprised as the rest of them. To think that such a dumb idea had actually worked...Yuri had raised one perverted pet. However, that aside, Estelle was happy, and that was the most important thing. "You finally got your wish. I'm glad," she told her friend with sincerity.

Estelle finally released her from the bear hug, leaning back just enough to beam at her. "Thank you, Rita. You're the best genius in the world!" She then started to reach for the front of her dress to remove the socks, but paused. It was such a wonderful feeling to finally scratch Repede's ears. Truthfully, she didn't want to give it up yet-she still had to rub his belly and play fetch with him! "U-um, Rita...Would you mind if I kept these?"

"Those things? Oh, sure. I've got another pair," Rita replied with a casual shrug, though she was smiling.

"Really? Oh, thank you! I'll take very good care of them!"

"They're just socks..."

Morning in Dahngrest was always bizarre to the people not accustomed to it. The aer-refracted sunlight bathed the city in the orange-red shades of dusk, often causing the party members to stumble out of bed much later than usual, except for Karol. Even though Raven was used to Dahngrest's sunrise, sleeping in was normal for him.

Trying to wake himself up from sleeping in too late, Yuri stretched his arms, working out the kinks in his back. His mind couldn't stop wandering to the odd sight he'd witnessed the previous night and a part of him was wondering if it was some weird dream. He supposed he'd know for sure once he saw Estelle.

As if reading his thoughts, he could hear the girls' voices rising in a clamour from their room and wondered what was going on.

"Ah-! They're gone!"

"What?"

"Did you lose something important, Estelle?"

"More important than anything! I...I had them right here the whole time, but- Oh, what should I do?"

"It's not the end of the world. Here, I told you I have another one, remember?"

"Oh, Rita...N-no, thank you. I...I couldn't forgive myself if I lost them again."

"Huh? But they're just-"

"It's all right, Rita! I'll buy some new ones so I won't lose yours!"

Yuri cocked an eyebrow at the voices, scratched his head, and decided to leave them alone to whatever it was they were doing. He headed outside to greet Repede as he did every morning and breathe some fresh air. Maybe a little rough housing with the dog would wake him up a bit. It didn't take him long to spot his companion, who was several yards from the inn, apparently communicating with a stray cat. The cat left as he approached, and Repede barked out a greeting to Yuri.

"Good to see you too, pal."

"Hey! Estelle! Are you going shopping already?"

Karol's voice and the sound of hurried footsteps-Estelle's, if he recognized the noise-reached his ears but before he could turn to look, something brightly-coloured by Repede's feet caught his eye. "What've you got there?"

However, Repede grabbed it in his teeth just as Yuri caught the corner of the fabric, and they started a tug-of-war. The young man humoured him for a time but just when he decided he'd had enough, Repede let go without warning. Unprepared, Yuri stumbled backwards and sighed. If Repede could laugh, he'd be howling with amusement right about now. In any case, he now had the mystery object, though something about it looked familiar.

He returned to the inn, where he found Rita haphazardly packing their items while simultaneously reading. It was no wonder their belongings were such a mess. He walked right up to her to get her attention, then held up the socks he'd confiscated from Repede. "Rita? Aren't these yours?"

The expression on the mage's face only raised his suspicions-she went from shock to such a heated glare that he thought she might blast him out the door any second.

"You! What the hell do you think you're doing?" she screeched at him, clenching a fist.

"Whoa, whoa! Hang on! I dunno what's going on here, but Repede had these."

Rita eyed him suspiciously for a moment, then sighed. "Humph. That's some dog you've raised. Why the hell would he have them, anyway?"

"Uh, Rita? How long's it been since you washed these?"

"Don't ask me. I have no idea."

Yuri had no idea why she sounded so proud about that and decided he didn't want to know. He dropped the offensive socks at her feet and deadpanned, "If I can smell these from five feet away, Repede could pinpoint them from a mile. Better wash your clothes before he steals any more."

Rita glared after him, then down at her socks in annoyance. She could see they were covered in the dog's drool, which just disgusted her-there was no way she was wearing them now. Maybe she should give them back to Estelle.

As soon as she thought of Estelle, everything clicked into place and Rita stared down at her socks in horror.

"Repede, come here-ah! Wait, where are you going?"

She heard Estelle outside, and a sinking feeling rose in her stomach. Moving to the window, she peeked out to see the dog anxiously running from the princess, who ran after him. It was also hard to miss the bouncing movements of her chest; it appeared she had bought herself some more socks. However, these ones would be new and clean.

"Repede! I'm bouncing just for you! Please sit still!"

Rita spent the rest of the morning grumbling to herself that she had known all along this would be a bad idea.