Are You Doing Okay?
There's a moment in time,
And it's stuck in my mind
Way back, when we were just kids
I wasn't sure of the exact moment I realized something wasn't right. It was either when I saw her for the first time, on my first day as a junior at Forks High School, or sitting next to her in biology, writing in a notebook with the heading 'Dear Diary,' the words that stood out the most were 'silence', 'shame', 'screaming inside', but mostly 'no one can know'. But, I think I always knew. She was a quiet girl, kept to herself for the most part. Never being to loud, never doing anything that would cause attention to be drawn to her. She wasn't like most high school girls, she was different, but I wasn't sure if it was a good different, or a bad different. A very bad different. Every one knew her, no, everyone knew of her. She was the chief of police's daughter, a curse bond to draw attention.
Cause your eyes told the tale
Of an act of betrayal
I knew that somebody did
It wasn't that she didn't have any friends, she did. But she acted totally different when she was around them. It was like the real Bella Swan stepped out, and this new one replaced her. She had the whole girl-next-door look going for her. Bella Swan was much, much more than that. Her mahogany colored hair fell into loose waves around her shoulders, her pink lips, her chocolate brown eyes, hiding secrets that I would never know.
Oh, waves of time
Seem to wash away
The scenes of our crimes
But for you this never ends
I had many times to talk to her, befriend her. But I didn't, instead I choose to watch her from a far. Everything she did interested me. The little things more so. Like how every so often her eyes would dart around the room she was in, as if she were looking to see if anyone was watching her. I lost track of how many times she almost caught me looking at her, but I would always look away at the last second. Or how her facial expressions would change depending on what she was writing about in her diary. Her diary. I never saw her without it, and it seemed she was always writing in it. I wish, just once, that I had a chance to read it, and figure out what was going on in her head.
Can you stay strong?
Can you go on?
Kristy are you doing okay?
A rose that wont bloom,
Winter's kept you
Don't waste your whole life trying
To get back what was taken away
Maybe the little things she did, were a sure sign that something wasn't good. That something happened to her. When she walked down the halls, her arms tightly wrapped around herself, like she was holding herself together. Of course, I didn't realize that something had possibly happened until it was too late for me to do anything about it.
Though the marks on your dress
Have been neatly repressed
I knew that something was wrong
And I should have spoke out
And I'm so sorry now
I didn't know
Cause we were so young
It wasn't until graduation, that I saw the girl Isabella Swan should be. Her smile was genuine, and for the first time she looked confident, sure of herself. But mostly, she looked free. Like graduation was the moment that she was waiting for her whole life. When the ceremony ended, and people began filing out of the gym. I saw her sitting on a bench outside, writing in her diary. She looked up at me, before I had a chance to look away. Her eyes were amazing to look at, but they still look trapped, like her body was finally free, but her mind was fighting for her escape.
Oh, clouds of time
Seem to rain on
Innocence left behind
And it never goes away
I remember driving home that night. I couldn't get the face of Bella out of my head, or how her eyes looked. Begging for an out. Out of the corner of my eyes, I saw something, or someone running. The flash of mahogany hair lead me to believe it was a girl. But when I looked back to see, she had disappeared into the darkness. I figured I was just imagining it.
Can you stay strong?
Can you go on?
Kristy are you doing okay?
A rose that wont bloom,
Winter's kept you
Don't waste your whole life trying
To get back what was taken away
Five years later, I was in Chicago, where it all started. My siblings, Emmett, Rose, Alice, and Jasper all attended Dartmouth, after out high school graduation. And for some other reason, we all moved to Chicago to start our own lives. I followed in my father's footsteps, and became a doctor. I haven't seen Bella Swan since graduation. Last I heard, the summer after we graduated, she ran away. Leaving Charlie a note, saying she had to escape it, and that she never wanted to hurt him. Charlie hasn't heard from her since.
Oh, clouds of time
Seem to rain on
Innocence left behind
And it never goes away
It never goes away
It was mud October, and I was walking home from work. It was Friday, and I had the weekend off. For some unknown reason, I let Alice borrow my Volvo for the day. Which, of course, left me walking home in the brisk night. Sisters. It was nights like these, that I wondered where Bella was, and if she was okay. There was no way for me to know, and that bothered me to no end. Maybe if I had said something that first day in biology together, things would be different, and I would be walking home to Bella, but instead I was walking home to an empty house. Maybe I could have changed how things ended, and changed the outcome. But that was in the past now. And Bella was long gone.
Can you stay strong?
Can you go on?
Kristy are you doing okay?
A rose that wont bloom,
Winter's kept you
Don't waste your whole life trying
To get back what was taken away
As I passed a little café, I heard a group of people laughing inside. Out of curiosity, I turned and peeked in. There in the center of the laughter, was Isabella Swan. Unlike the last time I saw, this time everything about her was completely, and undeniably free. I hadn't realized that I had stopped walking, and was staring at her. The laughter died down. I watched as Bella turned her head to look at me. Her eyes lit up, and her mouth spread out into a wide smile.
Don't waste your whole life trying
To get back what was taken away