AN: I had just finished finals, there was nothing on TV, I ended up watching part of the A to Zenon marathon with my brother, and let me tell you, since Walt died, Disney has let themselves go. If you don't have the Disney channel, you've probably never heard of these movies…you lucky, lucky bastard.
Disclaimer: I hope I'm not infringing on any copyrights here, seeing as I got the idea from if Rinkworks...and if I am…go Lakers!
Zenon: Girl of the 21st Century
Zenon: Protozoa is so stellar!
Bad Guy, with Bad Hair: You suck. Go to Earth as a punishment.
Earthlings: …Hey.
(Zenon GOES.)
Other Kids: You suck. Go back to space.
(Zenon GOES and attends a Protozoa concert.)
The end.
Zenon: The Zequel
Zenon: I hear aliens.
Everyone: You're retarded.
(Aliens actually SHOW UP.)
Aliens: Taking without asking is not polite. Bitches.
(Aliens LEAVE.)
Everyone: We always believed you.
(Viewer ponders how the lesson is at all RELEVANT to the plot.)
The end.
Johnny Tsunami
Johnny's Dad: We're moving because I don't want Johnny to surf.
Johnny: I want to surf but I can't so I'll snowboard.
Other kids: You can't snowboard because you go to private school.
Viewer: …?
(Johnny snowboards ANYWAY because JETT JACKSON teaches him how and then he has a PARTY and ZENON is there and it's COOL.)
The end.
The Greatest Christmas Present Ever
(If you want something just STEAL it and it'll turn out to be the greatest Christmas present ever.)
The end.
Halloween Town
Grandma, who is Debbie Reynolds: Happy Halloween!
(Debbie Reynolds stays with Marnie for five minutes because she is OBLIGATED.)
Debbie Reynolds:…Okay, bye!
(Marnie FOLLOWS Debbie Reynolds and finds out she's a witch. They go to Halloween Town, which is full of what appears to be CARNIES.)
Debbie Reynolds: Marnie, you have to fight the Bad Thing!
(Marnie DOES.)
(Viewer wonders why Debbie Reynolds agreed to do an original Disney movie.)
The end.
Halloween Town II
Bad Guy's Kid: You killed my dad, so I'm gonna bust a magical cap in your ass!
(Marnie KILLS him.)
Everyone: That kid has some serious daddy issues.
(Viewer wonders if any of the kids know who Debbie Reynolds is.)
The end.
Quints
(Don't say you don't want your parent's attention because if you do they'll have quintuplets and FORGET about you.)
The end.
Horse Sense
Michael, who is Blossom's brother, Joey: I can't spend time with Tommy because I'm a dick.
Tommy: I won't tell anyone what a dick you are.
(Tommy tells ANYWAY and Blossom's brother is made to work on a ranch where he learns HEARTFELT LESSONS. Whoa!)
(Joey Lawrence is glad he got the part and is able to afford to eat for a week.)
The end.
Motocrossed
(Everyone thinks Andrea can't race motocross because she's a girl but she can.)
The end.
The Other Me
Will: Man, I hate homework. Instead of taking the five minutes to do it, I'll spend way more time carrying out the complicated process of cloning.
(He DOES.)
Everyone: Wow, that kid that used to suck is really cool now.
(Everyone likes the clone BETTER.)
The end.
Walt Disney: Damn it, why won't you bastards stop!
Fin.