Shouldn't be starting something new, but the idea just wouldn't leave me. A series of drabbles, various parings, various characters, anything goes, each with the idea of a stupid packaging/instructions label in mind. Rating stays "T" I believe, and only for language and vaguely mature themes. A quite obvious AU. Hopefully I'll do all of the labels from the web site.

Standard disclaimers apply: I own neither the characters, the labels, nor the idea in the summary. They belong to their respective owners, Square Enix and those funny guys at "The Funny Pages".

Updates dished out randomly, with inspiration and ideas.

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Silence. Blissful, peaceful silence.

"God shit, damn it, fuckin' a!"

… Ah well, it was nice while it lasted. Roxas rolled his eyes and put down his magazine – which was, in no possible way, marketed towards the teenage of the female gender, and owned by his best friend's sister – before meandering towards where the shouting was coming from.

As soon as his blond tuft of hair poked around the doorway into the kitchen, he wished he hadn't. He wished he had just done what he wanted and stayed in bed this morning. Axel had done something stupid and dangerous. Again.

He sighed, twice – he felt he needed something a little stronger – and opened his mouth. "What the hell are you doing?"

Axel, in all his flaming glory, stood head bent over the sink, trying to calm what appeared to be relatively angry burns on his tongue. Still smoldering fireworks lay on the floor, merrily dying out, trying to garner enough oxygen to continue with their combustion.

Roxas, being fairly quick on the uptake – according to him – put two and two together, miraculously getting an answer. But he tried to think it was something else, as he really hoped Axel hadn't actually just tried what he thought he did.

Determinedly not embarrassed, Axel made vague motions with his hands, telling Roxas to sit down, and that he'd be done in a moment. Or so that's what Roxas assumed. It was either that, or something quite rude to which he would have to offhandedly tell Axel off. But it wasn't so he didn't.

Grabbing a glass of water and sitting down next to Roxas, tongue aloft and very reminiscent of a golden Labrador his brother used to fawn over, Axel launched into a detailed explanation of what he called his "Most Amazingest Idea for Sparkles Ever". It involved a very intricate trick with juggling some of the fireworks, some held in his mouth, and some would be somewhere else. Roxas, again, assumed that's what he was saying, since Axel's tongue seemed to be a little too big for his mouth now and was stumbling over every consonant.

Roxas picked up the box very carefully, still questioning his friend's sanity – not for the first time and it certainly wouldn't be the last – and read the box. Axel still chattered, not noticing his companion had absolutely no interest in what he was speaking of, when Roxas held up a hand, trying his very hardest not to smirk – which wasn't working too well – and Axel's inane stumbling tapered off confusedly.

Roxas pointed to big black letters on the back of the red box. "Do not put in mouth."

The smirk finally broke free.

"And they say I'm blond."

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On a box of fireworks:

Do not put in mouth.

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