They Never Knew
By: Song
Warnings: Angst
Summery: Severus reflects on the intolerance of arrogance.
Disclaimer: If I was JKR, then would I be broke?
A/U: I'm not perfectly happy with this, but I want that damn plot bunnie to go away...
The nerve of those people! Judging him for his past, hating him for what was not his choice. Hating him for fallowing orders. Hating him for doing what had to be done. Hating him for trying to win the war. Hating him for being a spy.
He had always been hated. He always would be hated. It was part of who he was. It always had been.
Reluctantly he slid into the hurtful memories of the past, wondering how he had survived this long as he was... especially with them.
Severus grimaced at the injustice of it all.
He hated James bleeding Potter.
He despised him.
He abhorred him.
He couldn't come up with a word bad enough for him.
That's just how bad Potter was.
Potter had such a perfect life. Good looks, talented at everything, friends, a loving family, money. Anything James bleeding potter ever wanted. Where as he, Severus Tobias Snape, had none of this. He was the greasy, pale, misfit potion geek outcast. He was in Slytherin, he was a halfbood. He had no family, and he didn't know the meaning of 'friends' as he had never had one. He didn't know the pride of success. He didn't know the quiet moments that one reveres for their simplicity. He didn't know the subtle tickle of a summer breeze while one looks to the clouds on the grass- as he had felt any of this.
Instead, he was left longing for what could not. He was left jealously stalking those who had what he did not. Left to sulk alone in the shadows.
Those that he watched oh-so-longingly never felt this.
They didn't know the rage of rejection.
They didn't know the pain of poverty.
They didn't know the sorrow of solitude.
They didn't know the embarrassment of exposure...
Back in the present, Severus blinked, taking himself out of his memories. Accept your lot in life. Severus already did. Because of his past he would forever be Severus T. Snape, the traitor.
These people who convicted him wanted this. Because they didn't understand it.
They didn't know the irks of being undercover.
They didn't know the demands of the dark lord.
They didn't know the shame of slaying.
They didn't know Severus T. Snape.
They never knew Severus T. Snape.
And they never would.
Because Severus T. Snape never knew himself.
Fin