Author's Note: I wrote this about a month ago while feeling silly and sleep deprived. It's kind of the stupidest thing ever (and ridiculously short to boot!), but I thought I'd share it here ANYWAY. (By the way, it was inspired by a thread in my Livejournal.)
Anime-based, and I used the Japanese names because I'm still not used to "Paul," "Croagunk," etc. (I did, however, make a passing reference to one of Paul's lines from the dub.) So for those who don't know the Japanese names, here are the ones that I use in this fic...
Satoshi - Ash
Hikari - Dawn
Takeshi - Brock
Shinji - Paul
Hikozaru - Chimchar
Gregguru - Croagunk
Finally, there are some minor spoilers for Diamond & Pearl episode 33, but it's nothing really important.
Enjoy!
Disclaimer: Pokemon ≠ mine
The Magnet Hat
One day, Shinji was training with his Hikozaru to try and get it to learn Overheat because that's a badass move worthy of the great Shinji.
Suddenly, Hikozaru stopped in its tracks and stared off into the distance. Shinji growled in irritation. "What is it now, you imbecile? Get back to work."
Hikozaru did not, however. Instead, it shot off into the direction it had been staring. When calling it back served to be fruitless, Shinji skulked after it, grumbling about his useless Pokemon. But no matter how lame-o and useless it usually was, Hikozaru was acting strangely all of a sudden, and Shinji had no idea why.
--
"Here guys, I've cooked you something completely half-assed so that I can spend more time giving my egg my undivided attention!" Takeshi announced as he hurled the meal at Satoshi and Hikari before crouching down on the ground and nuzzling his egg.
Satoshi and Hikari just shrugged as they and their Pokemon began to eat. No, the food was not up to Takeshi's usual standard, but that was to be expected now that he had that stupid egg to mother!
Not two minutes into the meal Satoshi suddenly was hit in the back of the head with something and he fell forwards right into the... curry or whatever Takeshi had cooked. "Hey!" he whined, pulling his face out of the food. "What was that all about?"
Something made a gleeful chirping noise from on top of his head, and when Satoshi looked up he realized HIS HAT WAS GONE!!! "Hey, what...!" He grabbed whatever it was that was on his head and brought it down to eye-level... and discovered that it was a Hikozaru, sporting his own hat and looking quite pleased about it.
Hikari blinked in confusion. "Is that Shinji's Hikozaru? What's it doing here?"
Hikozaru cackled and jumped out of Satoshi's hands to run about the campsite, still wearing his hat.
"Hey, you come back here!" Satoshi yelled, chasing after it. "That's my hat!!"
All the Pokemon watched on, laughing in amusement, except for Aipom who was JEALOUS AS HELL and Gregguru who didn't really give a crap.
Shinji was watching as well from a few yards away. After a few moments of chaos, Hikozaru seemed to notice its trainer and ran over to Shinji, jumping up and down in excitement.
Glaring down at it, Shinji scoffed and said, "You're useless."
With that, he disowned Hikozaru and stalked off to build himself an even more badass team of Pokemon. The end.
--
EPILOGUE
Satoshi, deciding that Shinji was a jerk, took Hikozaru in as his own.
In a jealous rage, Aipom declared World War III on Hikozaru.
Despite the inevitable apocalypse, Hikari kept insisting that there was nothing to worry about.
Takeshi remained oblivious to everything as he caressed his egg.
Then Aipom pwned everything and the world blew up.
THE END!!!!!!!!
Thanks to LJ-users ankariusui and csakuras for the inspiration. Apologies to LJ-users ankariusui and csakuras that said inspiration was for something as stupid as this.