Wishing on a Dream, a harry potter fanfic

Wishing on a Dream.

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, Rowling does. The song "Teardrops on my guitar" is sung by Taylor Swift. It's hers, not mine. But I did change it for artistic purposes. "Your Guardian Angel" by Red Jumpsuit Apparatus. Theirs, not mine either.

Summary: Never break the Best Friends Rule. Ever. Pity Harry has no regard for the rules… Results? Heartbreak.

Inspiration: The song "Teardrops on my guitar" by Taylor Swift.

The song "Your Guardian Angel" by Red Jumpsuit Apparatus.

Harry's PoV.

He is perfect. There is no doubt. Eyes of silver that captures and drowns you. Hair that frames his features in a golden hue. His skin is an ethereal and so much like porcelain. If I were to ever say there was an angel on earth, it would be him. Or a veela for that matter.

We have been friends since the fifth year. Lucius had wanted no part in the madman's schemes, nor had Draco. So, surprising the whole wizarding world, publicly declared that Voldemort was back and the Malfoys were against Him.

Our shaky friendship grew in time; especially when you stood by me during that year. The year when the rumours ran rampant and everyone turned their backs on me. He was my rock against the oceans. My sarcastic, witty, annoying rock, but mine nonetheless.

So here I am, lying outside by the lake. The breeze was cool and refreshing in the heat of March. Our sixth year exams had finished today, and of course, Draco just had to drag me out here to relax. Problem was I wasn't the only one he dragged out.

I turn my head and look at the scene in front of me. Draco is smiling and laughing with his arms around her. Aeris Helect, a forth year pureblood Ravenclaw witch. That same girl he's liked for months but was afraid to ask. Yes, he, the Slytherin Ice Prince was afraid of being rejected. But that was in the past and presently, they are a happy couple.

My gaze falls on Draco, on the way the sunlight catches in his hair. My heart clenches when he bends down to whisper sweet nothings in her ear. I sigh and close my eyes again. Why do I put myself through this torture? Because, whispers my mind, you are a good friend. You want to see him happy and you want to keep him happy. A muggle song comes to mind and a hum it. The words stay in my head; my secret to keep.

Dray looks at me, I fake a smile so he won't see
That I want and I'm needing everything that we should be
I'll bet she's beautiful, that girl he talks about
And she's got everything that I have to live without

I never thought I would be so sappy as to actually connect to a song. But love makes you sappy, or so Hermione has told me. But love for me always seems like pain. Love a parents is something I don't remember. Love from Sirius disappeared when he died. I have no siblings though I do love my best friends. But they are in constant danger just knowing me. Then true love just brings me heartbreak…

Draco's voice breaks my thought. Startled, I look over at him, only to see both their attentions on me.

"What?" I asked, losing the battle of not drowning under that silver gaze. He laughs and asks again, "What's that song you're humming?"

I colour and mutter under my breath, "Just a muggle song," knowing his distaste for muggle things. Obliviously I wasn't quiet enough as he chuckles and shakes his head in my direction again.

"So anyway, Harry," Aeris says turning to me, "Draco and I were just talking. You see I have this friend that has a huge crush on you. So I was thinking how about the four of us go on a double date next weekend at Hogsmead?"

"You should come Harry," Draco adds in, "It will be fun." My heart clenches again at the sight of his earnest face. I hate to disappoint him but that's torture not even I can stand. Aeris's friend isn't the one I want to go out with.

A smile sadly and give a shake on my head. I lean back onto the ground and close my eyes. He won't be able to read my emotions then. "Sorry, but no thanks. I trying to get over a heart break right now and I don't think I'm ready to date again just yet."

Silence met my answer. Guess I shocked them. "Harry," said the fallen angel, "you never told me you had a crush." There was hurt laced in his voice. I sighed and sat up and looked at him. Draco had his mask in place but that mask hid nothing from me anymore. I shook my head.

"Sorry Dray but everyone has their secrets. It was a little more than a crush. Plus, I didn't want to bother you with my problems."

"Harry…" I couldn't deal with this right now. I can't talk to him when he uses that voice. That helpless and well, a little disappointed voice. He was happy and I wouldn't, I couldn't take that away from him. I shake my head and stand up.

"Drop it, Dray. It's over and I lost my chance. I just need to pick up the pieces and move on." I turn to walk away, adding, "I have to meet Hermione now, later lovebirds."

"Stop calling us that!" came his voice as I walked away. He never saw that unshed tears in my eyes. I walked through the halls of Hogwarts, a place I call my true home. I finally arrived at the seventh floor and entered the Room of Requirements. Hermione was already in the room, pouring over books.

Hermione and Ron knew the other secret I had. I never told Draco the prophecy. I guess I want to protect him; to keep him out of this. Ron and Hermione already knew how deep in I was in this war. Draco doesn't have a clue other than I'm always Voldmort's target. Lately, everything comes back to Draco.

I needed to train. I needed knowledge fast. Because knowledge is power and I needed power if I ever wanted to survive this war. So Hermione and Ron help me. This whole year I've pushed myself harder. The war is brewing, if not in full swing just yet. And in the end, I have to end it all. So I trained. Late into the night and well into the early morning. I've actually paid attention in class and worked. I may never be as book smart as Hermione, but I'm not that far behind her either.

Truth be told I've already completed the 7th year work and I'm well into the Auror syllabus. Dumbledore pulled some strings and got me the books. Sirius and Moody train me during the holidays and I no longer need to stay at the Dursley's. Life is almost perfect. Almost.

Hermione looks over at me as I sit down by her. Ron isn't here. Not even the threat of Voldemort can make him work on the last day of exams. She looks up and gives me a small smile. She knows why I am here, two hours earlier than what I had said. But she says nothing and merely hands over the summaries she's made on spells. And so I begin.

We have been working for hours now and it's almost dinner. Hermione finally gets up and stretches. I diligently work on.

"It's almost dinner time Harry," she says gently, placing her hand on my shoulder. I sigh and look up at her, with a small smile.

"I'll get Dobby to bring something for me Mione. You go one ahead," I reply. She merely smiles and nods.

She packs up her things but I can tell she wants to say something. So I wait, looking up from my work.

"Harry," she starts. "You can't keep doing this to yourself. You can't bury yourself in work and hide. I've tried it and it doesn't help."

"Mione, I have to trai-" I try to say before she cuts me off.

"I know Harry! But that's not what I'm talking about! You have to train, I know. But I'm talking about your heart." I can't help but look away. "Harry, you're distancing yourself from him. I know it's because he has a girlfriend now, but you may lose him as a friend. At least tell him what's going on."

"I can't."

"He's noticed Harry. He's noticed you're drifting away because of this secret."

"I can't Mione."

She reached for the door and opened it. But before she left, she threw over her shoulder, "What's worse Harry? Him knowing or him not being there at all?" And she left, closing the door behind her.

Harry sighed and ran his hand through his hair. He finally answered to the empty room.

"Neither Hermione. Draco being dead because of me is the worst. Dead because of me."

I stayed in the Room of Requirements that night. I worked late and didn't feel like returning to the Griffindor Tower. They would be lively, happy. I just didn't have the heart for it.

Soon, after Hermione left, I just couldn't concentrate. I knew what she said is true. I could see it. I was losing him. But in truth, I was letting him go. To be happy. Sighing softly, I put away my work and reached for my guitar.

It was one of Ron's brighter ideas. Playing the guitar was like a stress reliever for me. So I could forget the world, even if it's only for a few moments. But I loved to play, to let my emotions seep out.

Strumming the strings, I play that muggle song. I sing it softly, because it's what I'm feeling. I will never have him nor will he ever know the truth. Never ever.

Dray talks to me, I laugh cause it's just so funny
That I can't even see anyone when he's with me
He says he's so in love, he's finally got it right,
I wonder if he knows he's all I think about at night

I know he doesn't know.

He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star
He's the song in the car I keep singing, don't know why I do

I guess I'm not a total romantic. I don't wish on stars nor do I cry. Not for this at least.

Dray walks by me, can he tell that I can't breathe?
And there he goes, so perfectly,
The kind of flawless I wish I could be
She'd better hold him tight, give him all her love
Look in those beautiful eyes and know she's lucky cause

But she knows she's lucky. She knows what a treasure she has and holds. And I hate her all the more for it.

He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star
He's the song in the car I keep singing, don't know why I do

So I drive home alone, as I turn out the light
I'll put his picture down and maybe
Get some sleep tonight

He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only one who's got enough of me to break my heart
He's the song in the car I keep singing, don't know why I do
He's the time taken up, but there's never enough
And he's all that I need to fall into..

Dray looks at me, I fake a smile so he won't see

But I made a promise to myself.

If I survive, I'll makes amends. But I guess a small part of me knows it's near, and maybe, that small part of me also knows there will be no chance.

And with that, I put the music sheets away in my bag. A bed appears on request. And I do go to bed, hoping I will get some sleep tonight.

Several months later…

I will admit that I have a hero-complex. The nightmares come every night now. But through the terror, I could help. I gave the Order information about Voldemort's plans. The second war had come.

And I know what I have to do. I don't want to kill. That would make me as bad as Him, but the question keeps coming up. If I don't who will?

He's on the move now. He knows the Malfoys and Snape are on our side. He knows it will come down to us. And He's happy about it. He knows he will win. I don't have the power or experience to fight him. And love cannot be the 'power he know not.' It must be something. How can it be when the one I love does not love me back?

Draco is further nowadays. We've fallen from best friends to friends to… classmates. I now it's my doing. Always excluding him, not spending time together. He was right when he threw it all in my face when he demanded answers.

I remember that day clearly. It hurt the most, doing what I did. But I remember. His eyes were ablaze with silver, outraged with a hint of pleading. It was plagued with confusion. His jaw was clenched and his hands balled into fists. He stood tall, imposing. A trait he must have learnt from his father. He faced off with me, looking like a righteous angel. Corny, I know.

And I told him a lie. I lied to him. Pushed him away. I broke his trust and with it, our friendship. I turned cold at his demands. Put on an icy mask and asked him if he had ever considered that I didn't trust him enough to tell him my darkest secrets. I told him that our friendship was that of being on the same side. Nothing more.

But still I watched over him from afar. I watched him smile and laugh with his love of his life. And everyday my heart broke just a little more. If love is my power than I am doomed. You need a heart to love, and I've given mine away. But he doesn't even know he holds it.

Near the end of 7th year…

Months passed and the war grew worse. It was during a nightmarish vision through His mind, I found a vital piece of information. Voldemort would be alone after he sends out his death eaters on a mission. Alone and in the open.

The next day, I went out and spent time with Ron and Hermione. Just being with them, laughing, joking. It felt good, after all these months of gloom and doom. The day went past fast and soon it as night. There was on more thing to do: write the letters.

One for Ron and one for Hermione. One for Sirius, one for Remus. Snape, Dumbledore, Moody, Luna, Neville, Ginny, Fred and George, Mr. and Mrs. Weasley. And one for Draco.

So I began to write, my hands shaking slightly… Each letter contained pretty much the same information. 'I'm sorry for running off but I had to. I know it was reckless but I can't stand the thought of more innocent people dying.' There was the unspoken: I'm terrified it might be you next. They knew about the prophecy and I wanted, no needed, to explain that it was easier to face off Old Moldy by myself. I felt it was time.

Draco's letter was the last one I wrote. I left the letters stacked neatly in the middle of my empty desk in my room. Thank Merlin for the small miracles being a 7th year brought, one being private rooms and later curfews. I glanced around my room, my few possessions scattered around : my photo album, my Firebolt, books, my guitar and music sheets. I still had a few hours before I had to leave.

I fell on my bed, just lying there , trying to relax. Which, might I add is rather difficult considering it's more that likely that I will die later tonight. I cast the strongest locking charm on my door and change the password, and set my alarm clock to ring at 10pm. And I attempt to drift into the land of sleep.

The ringing of that blasted clock jerks me out of my sleep as I almost blast it with a reducto. The training has been drilled into me as I catch myself at the last second. Wait, why shouldn't I blast that thing? And I quite happily send off a reducto forever silencing the insufferable thing. Maybe, I can't help but wonder, if that is why Snape is so grouchy in the mornings. What if he also hates his alarm clock? Grinning, I get ready. A shower to relax and loose clothing. Over that, my basilisk battle robes, which are a deep green, bordering black and a small silver dagger. The snake from second year did come in handy after all. Last, I pull my shoulder length hair into a low ponytail. I no longer need glasses as Sirius has magically corrected my eyesight months ago. With one last look around my room, and checking the Map, I leave with the sinking feeling that it will be the last time I will ever see that room again.

I apparate a few miles away from the area and travel the rest on foot, invisible under a spell not even Moody could see through. I have Dumbledore to thank for that one. Silently, I watch as three teams of Deatheaters leave to attack a target and Voldemort stands alone in the clearing. Taking a deep breathe, and locking away my doubts and fears, I step forward. It ends tonight, one way or the other.

"Good evening, Tom," I call out. Voldemort whips around so fast I'm surprised he didn't get whiplash. He stares at me in shock before quickly covering up with his Syltherin mask. Yup, he still looks as ugly as ever: red eyes, snake nose and slightly wrinkled. Just to irritate him, I smile brightly.

He mockingly smiles back, "Harry, what I nice surprise!" and him fingering his wand doesn't escape my notice.

"Well, Tom," I play along with this charade, "you know how I love to surprise."

He chuckles, "So to what do I owe this pleasure? I hope you have reconsidered my offer? Join me, Harry."

I sigh dramatically, wand gripped tightly, ready. "Sorry to disappoint, Tom, but I must refuse. Again. On basis that I kiss no one's feet. Rather I'm here on other a business. I believe you know of a prophecy?"

He freezes. I smirk inwardly. I may not be on par with his knowledge or fighting ability, hell he has had decades to perfect what I've tied to do in two years. But I can mess with his head like no one else, considering I've been there, literally. He doe not know the whole thing, just that I am the one to defeat him. He doesn't know that I have a power he can't wield or I may die in this fight.

"I'm here to fulfil it. You see I need you to stop with the attacks because it's seriously ruining the mood of trying to date." A little white lie never hurts. Make him think the prophecy states that I will take him down and that he can't defeat me. This time I can't help but smirk.

Seeing this, he replies with confidence, "And what makes you think you can defeat me, Potter? I am the greatest Dark Lord since Morgan Le Fay!"

He threw a spell at me and it was only my Quidditch reflexes that saved my as I threw myself away, rolling and throwing a spell in reply. As so it began. Light, dark, old, new. We threw every spell at each other as the other darted and blocked. We were matched in raw power but he knew more than me. He had more control than me. I had hoped that he wouldn't be fit but he matched me for every dodge, roll and sprint.

I had no choice. I had to use it. I had hoped that maybe, I could defeat him without it and so, live after this battle. I dodged an AK and sprinted into the trees surrounding the area. His voice floated around me, mocking me for daring to stand up against him,. For daring to believe that I, a teenage bow, could defeat him. Sometimes, I wished he would just shut up, because I needed to concentrate. I circled behind him quietly, as he threw spells in the general direction I was in before. Slowly, I slipped the small dagger from it's sheath. As began chanting softly, not noticeable under his mocking. The dagger began to shimmer, indicating that it was ready.

The 'power he knows not' wasn't love like Dumbledore thought, but merely something that was in my blood. As every 17 year old wizard, I underwent the inheritance test at Gringotts. Turns out my mother was from a line of an old family that descended from squibs that married muggles. But some of the gifts were passed down, despite the descendents not being magical. Lily Evens-Potter was from the squib line of Reddens, a magical family that had died out. But their family gift was that of blood magic, which has long since been forbidden. That solved the mystery of how my mother protected me from the killing curse, she invoked her natural blood magic and why the bloodwards were that powerful at Privet Drive. The magic had connected with his magic, and the dormant talents in Aunt Petunia and Dudley.

A slit down my left arm, elbow to pinky and an incantation, I stepped out from my cover, shooting a spell at Voldemort's back. The dark magic ripped through his skin as his howled in rage and pain, though shooting an AK at me. I merely raised my left arm as the crimson shield appeared and absorbed it. Shock rang through Voldemort as he stared in morbid fascination.

Apparation pops echoed in the silence and I heard familiar shouting, calling my name. they had come far too soon. I had to end this quickly. Voldemort tried another AK followed my the cutting curse. The shield absorbed both. Quickly, mildly wincing, I cut the rune for death into me left palm. Spells shot at Voldemort who turned in that instance to both protect himself and kill those who opposed him. I cut the rune for life in my right palm.

I chanted in old Latin, pure Latin. My magic evident in my voice as I invoked my magic, my family's magic and the very magic in the air. I called upon the elements and the higher beings of the cosmos. Pleading fro them to accept the exchange, my life for the death of one Tom M. Riddle. The magic tingled as the request was accepted and all went black. I never imagined death to be so peaceful, but I wasn't complaining.

Normal PoV

Aurors and members of the Order stared in horror as their Savior used forbidden arts, calling upon his blood magic to destroy Voldemort. As before their very eyes, Harry Potter died in a flash of golden light as Voldemort crumpled to the ground. Using blood magic, Harry had not only destroyed Voldemort but his horcruxes as well, sending the Dark Lord with a ticket straight to Hell.

There was no cheering but a silence that fell upon the area. It was, strangely enough, Bill Weasley who approached Harry's body first. Dumbledore called out to stop him but Bill shook his head.

"It's safe. Harry used his own blood magic, probably from a family blood inheritance, to perform that spell. It's know as the Vengence Ritual. It echanges the life of the caster for the death of the intended enemy, by calling on magic itself and all it's elements. I have seen hieroglyphics of it in Egypt but I've never…" Bill trailed off, as he knelt beside his unofficial brother.

No pulse. No breathing. No life.

It was done then.

At Hogwarts…

The news spread like wildfire. Across Britain, through Europe and then the world. Harry Potter had killed Lord Voldemort for good! People celebrated as raised their glasses in solemn moments in respect for the sacrifice. Harry Potter had died for the world.

It was Dobby the house-elf that alerted Hermione that Harry Potter had left the castle. Hermione immediately went to find Dumbledore, confirming that Harry had left. Nearing tears, Hermione sprinted to Harry's rooms, with Ron hot on her heels. She had tried the password, only to find it changed. she could not enter the rooms, while Dumbledore tried to calm down everyone. The only way, it seemed was to get Harry or at least find out where he went off to. They had already confirmed he hadn't gone to Sirius's house or the Weasley's.

Using his authority as Headmaster of Hogwarts, Dumbledore asked the painting for the password so he may enter. The password confirmed their worst fears: "It ends tonight." rushing into the room, Hermione picked up Harry's journal from his bed, the letters going unnoticed in the rush, flipping to the last page. The colour drained from her face and Ron's, as they handed the book to Dumbledore. Within in minutes, the Aurors and the Order left.

Only to come back with the news of Voldemort vanquished and Harry dead. It was the first time in a long time that the Great hall had been shocked into silence. Everyone stared at the professors as if waiting to wake up from the nightmare or be told they were dreaming that Voldemort was truly dead.

It was Ron that found the letters, as he, Hermione, Sirius and Remus sat quietly in Harry's old room. Trying to believe what had happened. As so Harry's last words were handed out to his friends and would-be family. Apologises and jokes, but more than ever, a desire for a better future.

"I don't fear death. So don't mourn."

It was Hermione that handed out the letters, as she came upon the last one, a thick one, addressed to one Draco Malfoy. She made her excuses and left the room, walking out the Tower and down. Down to the Dungeons, to the Slytherin common room, intent on finding the letter's recipient.

Her Headgirl status allowed her into the common room which had a party going in on in full swing. The music pounded as booze was passed around. Everyone was celebrating. She was bumped and she stumbled into one Blaise Zabini, who grinned at her and began to state that this must be nothing like the Griffindor party. Only then to really look at her pale, tear stricken face and red, blotchy eyes. And froze. Ignoring his reaction, she quietly asked where Draco was. Blaise pointed towards some couches.

Walking over, she soon found the Slytherin Ice Prince, who looked coolly at her. They hadn't spoken, not after his fall-out with Harry and the beginning of the war. Her arm trembling slightly, Hermione offered the letter, as Draco raised one eyebrow in question.

Her voice was quiet yet it carried over the music.

"Harry knew he was going to die. He wrote letters. This is his letter for you."

And she waited.

Draco hesitantly reached out and took the envelope from her, staring at it. He did not notice as he stared intently at the innocent white envelope. He did not mourn the passing of his once-friend, still being bitter over their fall-out. A pang his heart and the letter would be his last chance to find the answers to the questions. The shock set in. Harry, his friend, was dead. Dead as in gone forever. Not coming back. With that Draco got up slowly and left the common room for his private room.

Dear Draco,

I wish I could tell you this in person but something tells me that I won't live to say what must be said. I wish I could say I'm sorry for everything, but that would be a lie. I have never nor will ever be sorry that we were friends. I will never regret one day we spent together, only those we spent as enemies. A life I never wanted you to return to but it was the only way I could protect you. Protect you from me. Dray, you and your family dealt yourself out of this damned war. And I wasn't prepared to bring you back into it. That's the logical part of my excuse. I'm doomed to fight Voldemort to the death, Dray. There is a prophecy that was never released to the public. It would have always come down to the two of us. I've humiliated Voldemort too much for him just to leave me alone. I will always be a target. But old Moldy never plays by the rules. He attacks those I care about. He doesn't want to kill me Dray, but utterly destroy me. I am the example to the world of what happens to those who stand against him. He would have killed you Dray, you and your family. And I couldn't stomach the thought. I deliberately distanced myself from you, picked fights so you would be safe. It was easier than I expected. I was being trained back then. Do you remember how I would disappear for hours?

I have another secret to tell you Dray and I can only hope you don't hate me for it. The reason why you would have been on top of Voldemort's list. I once described the perfect person to you. My soul mate, so to speak, and you laughed that I would never find him or her. I did Dray. I found him in you. Somewhere along the way (during sixth year I think) I fell in love with you Dray. And I won't say worry for that. I love you. More than you will ever know and I would never hurt you. You are happy and I never want to see a frown on your face. Voldemort had access to my mind before I learnt to block my mind. I pushed you away and mastered the art. I didn't tell you because you have fallen for Aeris by then. I was wishing on a dream that slipped out of my clasp. I am sorry for hurting you, but nothing else.

And that's my excuse, Dray. I hope you accept it, and maybe a small part of you could forgive me. You are happy, with a bright future with Aeris. I wish you the best of luck. She's lucky to have you, and she makes you laugh and smile more. There wasn't a day where I didn't wish I was her. Live and laugh Draco, because I'll be watching, in Heaven or Hell. I loved you yesterday, I love you now. I know I will love still.

Yours forever and with all my love,

Harry James Potter.

The letter was stained with a few teardrops and as Draco read a few more appeared on the parchment. That night shocked him with the information overload. The next day anger set in. who was Harry Bloody Potter to try and protect him, Draco Malfoy? Then came then confusion and realisation of Harry's love. Then came the sorrow and guilt. Harry had been more hurt than him, even before the fall-out. Last came the acceptance and the slight regret of what could have happened but never did. There was a space in his heart where Harry had once been, and Draco had always thought they would patch up someday. That day would never come.

There was a second sheet of music and lyrics also in the envelope. Your Guardian Angel, composer and writer: HJ Potter.

When I see you smile,

Tears roll down my face.

I can't replace.

Now that I'm strong I have figured out

how this world turned cold and

Breaks through my soul.

And I know I'll find deep inside me

I can be the one.

I will never let you fall.

I will stand up with you forever.

I will be there through it all.

Even if saving you sends me to heaven.

It's okay. It's okay. It's okay.

Seasons are changing and waves are crashing

And stars are falling all for us.

Days grow longer and nights grow shorter.

I can show you I'll be the one.

I will never let you fall.

I will stand up with you forever.

I will be there through it all.

Even if saving you sends me to heaven.

Cos you're my, you're my.

My true love, my whole world.

Please don't throw that away.

Cos I'm here for you.

Please don't walk away.

Please tell me you'll stay here.

Stay.

I know I'll be okay though my skies are turning grey.

I will never let you fall.

I'll stand up with you forever.

I'll be there through it all.

Even if saving you sends me to heaven…

End.

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