I've noticed something quite evil. There's not enough Steiner-centric stuff here. Sure, I'm not always looking around for romance or anything, I just like to read about a short tempered knight who clanks when he walks. Plus he's sexy as hell. How else could he have gotten Beatrix if he wasn't?
Anyway, also there aren't that many SteinerxBeatrix around here either. ZidanexKuja's more common and it's not even canon. Srslywtfd00d Christy does not get.
So instead of requesting it like some person who can't write, I made one. Also there isn't enough Knights of Pluto, so I made them "Minor" characters on the side.
Be warned. I've had much more practice writing adventure/drama/humor than I do writing romance/fluff. This was halfway practice as well.
Also, I like to think of the female Alexandrian Knights being slightly ditzy. Anyone who LETS themselves wear leotards during battle like that has got to be ditzy.
Anyway, enough talk. You've probably hit the back button or skipped all this talking anyway:
READ ON!
The Fifteen Year Feud
The Alexandrian Knights blinked at the Knights of Pluto. The men blinked back at the women. Neither side could believe what their superiors were saying. They turned to look at General Beatrix and Captain Adelbert Steiner, Pluto Knight I, "Pardon my asking, Sir," Dojebon, Pluto Knight V, gulped, "But did you actually mean everything you said just then?"
"I most certainly did!" Steiner said loudly, "Do I look like I'm joking? Since when have I ever joked?"
"He's got you there, Dojebon…" Mullenkedheim, Pluto Knight IX, whispered to the Pluto Knight, "Uhhh, Captain, do you mind repeating what you just said?"
Steiner stiffened, turning slightly red from anger. Beatrix smiled knowingly, "Your captain and I have decided to end this silly feud. The rivalry between the Elite Guard of Alexandria and the Knights of Pluto has officially ended."
There were gasps all around.
"But… but Ma'am!" One of the female guards proclaimed.
Haagen, Pluto Knight VIII, interrupted the woman, "We've been rivals with those women for… how many was it again?"
"15 years…" Blutzen, Pluto Knight II, and Kohel, Pluto Knight III, said in unison.
"For 15 years!" Haagen finished.
"Yeah, Captain," Laudo, Pluto Knight IV, continued, "It's practically tradition to fight with the women!"
"I know how I'd fight with them…" Weimar, Pluto Knight VII, said as he winked across at the women, most of who waved daintily back.
"It doesn't matter what we did in the past!" Steiner shouted, leaping up and down with a roar, "The point of the matter is that we're not fighting NOW!"
Breireicht, Pluto Knight VI, nodded solemnly, "I suppose what's done is done. I was getting a mite tired of feuding anyway."
"Now now, everyone," Beatrix said, calming the rising tide of proclamations, "Please don't be like this. Steiner and I have made up our minds."
"Something's wrong…" Weimar muttered. He motioned for Kohel, who nudged Blutzen, who blinked closely at Beatrix's hand. It was tucked nicely in Steiner's gauntlet'd hand. Blutzen nodded to Kohel, who gave Weimar the signal of approval, and the romanticist pointed an accusing finger, "It's true then, those rumors weren't just stories!"
"What are you talking about, Weimar?" One of the guards asked, placing her sensual hand seductively on her curvaceous hips (at least, that's how the Pluto Knight saw it happen), "What rumors?"
"You mean…?" another of the female guards gasped in realization, and Steiner suddenly felt hot as the women flocked around each other and whispered to each other. A squeal of delight exploded and the women rushed to congratulate their general, "Oh, General Beatrix, how wonderful!"
"You two are an I-T-E-M!" Another crowed.
"First comes love"
"Then comes marriage"
"Then comes a baby and a house with a…"
"A hedge!"
The gaggle of girlish women continued their songfest, and Steiner froze, apparently too embarrassed to think straight, "M… Marriage…? Kids…?"
"Congratulations, Captain!" The men roared happily, surrounding their own leader in a manly bond of manly…ness… I suppose… Some of the lighter ones hopped up and hung on the back of his captain's back, and Laudo smiled brightly at Steiner, "You're the luckiest guy in here! Have you looked at the general lately?"
"She's built like an ox!" Blutzen said with a smile. Everyone stared at him, and shook their heads in pity for the simpleton.
"So, my good Captain," Weimar said with a suave smile, "soon you'll finally become a man! If you need any pointers, you should talk to me!"
Steiner snapped, and dragged Weimar towards him to better chew him out (the sudden movement nearly made Dojebon fall from his location on the knight's back), "What are you talking about, being a 'man'!? I'm nearly fifteen years older than you; you're just a kid!"
"So you're telling me you've been with another woman before this, Captain?" Weimar asked, rubbing his chin in thought. The men snuck closer in for juicy gossip, "Who was the lady then? Don't spare any details!"
Steiner was taken aback, flustered beyond belief, "B…! Well…! I…!" He sputtered, attempting to find some knight that wasn't staring intently at him, waiting for his answer. He finally remembered about their situation, and wagged his finger disapprovingly at his troops, most of who were acting worse than the female guards at the moment: "There are women in the vicinity! I cannot speak of such vulgar things in front of them!"
"In other words…" Kohel muttered, "You've been alone this whole time!"
"Since when was I on trial, here!?" Steiner screeched, jumping up and down. Dojebon got motion sickness, "You're all worse than the women, all of you!"
"Tsk Tsk, Captain," Laudo said slyly, "I thought we weren't comparing ourselves to our feminine counterparts!"
The entire collection of knights was suddenly interrupted when they heard the rumbling stomach of a certain Pluto Knight. They all turned to the culprit, "Ohhhh, I'm so hungry…" Mullenkedheim muttered in pain, clutching his stomach. He was unaware (or didn't care) that most of the women were blushing bright red, "Excuse me… I'm going to see if our new head chef will make me something to eat…" And with that, the man slunk off with a heavy sigh about his rumbling tummy.
Everyone was silent as the Pluto Knight head off towards the kitchen, and they all shared an awkward silence afterwards. Who wanted to talk after something like that, anyway…? Dojebon slowly released Steiner's neck and slid down to the floor, and Kohel coughed into his hand, "So… does that mean we're excused?"
"…I…" Steiner thought about it for a moment, "I suppose so…"
"Great!" Weiner said, rushing over to meet with some of his favorite Alexandrian guards, "Let's all leave the Captain and the General alone to their own devices!"
"Ohhh, sounds like a great idea!" The women replied, taking his hand and letting him lead them off.
"You will never cease to HOUND me about this, will you!?" Steiner roared after the Pluto Knight as the others decided to go their own separate ways (Laudo even opening a book and penning the scene out for a part in his new novel), "I'll show you, you worthless maggot! When…! When…!" He placed his gauntlet'd hand on his chin in thought of when he would chew his subordinate out, and leapt up and down when he found an appropriate answer, "…When we're not all so busy with rebuilding the castle!!"
"Steiner…" Beatrix murmured. The captain turned sharply and his heart skipped a beat to find her so close to his face, "You know, your knights love you so much. I wish I was so close to my troops." She smiled lightly, "I envy you, sometimes."
"B…but Beatrix!" Steiner said, practically saluting the general, "You're a Holy Knight! You're the queen's general! Why would you ever be envious of a lowly captain such as I?"
"From listening to your loud mouth, it's sometimes a wonder watch you act so humble…" She murmured lightly, smiling up at him and the blush that crept up on his cheeks. "Steiner, don't you see? They left because they wanted you to be comfortable. If it weren't for them, I seriously doubt the women would have left me alone for the rest of the day, planning out our wedding."
"When did we ever talk about a wedding!?" Steiner practically squeaked, "It's only been a few months since the queen and I have returned!"
Beatrix gave him a look, "So we aren't getting married, then?" She asked. If looks could kill…
The Plutonian Captain slumped forward, defeated, "Of… of course we are…! But now?"
The general smiled, "Perhaps not… but later, definitely. Perhaps after Her Highness finds a proper suitor…?" The two fell silent, thinking of how each Trenoian noble, every Alexandrian apprentice, each Dalian farmhand, and all of the Lindblumian engineers were flatly and hotly turned down by the young queen (Although Steiner would have insisted quite loudly if she had actually even thought of a farmhand for a suitor…). At the rate they were going, she would never be married…
"But until then…" Beatrix murmured, squeezing Steiner's chain mail. He blinked at the general, and she smiled, "Do you remember the time when the night sky wore the moon as its pendant?"
Steiner smiled as he wrapped his free arm around the general's waist, "How could I forget? That thief ruined the moment, and there were spies watching the entire time."
"There isn't anyone here now…" Beatrix whispered, standing on her tip toes to whisper lightly to the captain. The hairs on the back of his neck rose, and the general smiled seductively at her new lover, "Perhaps we could continue where we left off that night…?"
Steiner held her hand up as he drew her closer with his other arm, "Of course, My Lady." The General and Captain, leaders of the Knights of Alexandria and Pluto, respectively, did just that.
The End!
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Hope you guys enjoyed it! Review and tell me how much I screwed up, please.