I wrote this after episode 32.38. This is my take on what Alicia is going through and how she might finally come to confide in someone about what happens to her. All characters belong to the BBC. I apologise for the lame title, I'm terrible at thinking of them! I just wanted to post this quick before another episode aired! I hope you enjoy it. I have to say I'm loving this storyline, and Chelsea's doing a great job, it's thanks to her that I was inspired to write this.

"I know just the thing we need" Alicia said, opening the cabinet above the toaster where she kept her booze. "I've been saving it for a rainy day."

Bea groaned. "We didn't have enough to drink at the pub? It's a Monday night…"

"No way" Alicia exclaimed, opening another cupboard to find glasses, seemingly unconcerned about what day of the week it was. "I'm having fun."

The two women had fallen through the front door laughing only five minutes ago and already Alicia was on the hunt for more alcohol. She pulled out a bottle of tequila with a flourish and grinned at Bea.

Bea sighed, considering for a moment whether she should listen to her sensible side and go to bed or give into the part of her that, she had to admit, was having fun. Despite her misgivings and the knowledge that she would regret it in the morning, a reluctant smirk began to creep across her lips and Alicia seized on it.

"A ha!" Alicia said, pointing the bottle of pale amber liquid in her direction. "I knew I'd made the right choice letting you stay."

"I think this is what they call peer pressure" Bea said, but she conceded. "Not that I usually take much persuading."

"Come on then" Alicia said, squeezing past Bea and into the living room. "Get some music on and I'll pour us drinks."

Later they sat on the rug with the half empty bottle between them. Alicia had to brace herself on the coffee table to stop herself form toppling over as she reached for the bottle and that started her off laughing again.

"What's got into you?" Bea asked.

"Nothing" Alicia said, pushing herself back upright. "I'm just having fun that's all. It's nice hanging out just us. Not a man in sight."

"Ah, so that's what this is about, man trouble?"

For the first time that evening Alicia's smile faltered. But she quickly recovered. She was having a good time, the laughter and tequila was helping her forget. She had the presence of mind to realise this was only a temporary fix but she didn't want to spoil it, not now. "You could say that."

"Is it Dr Hardy? I know you two have history. Or is it…"

Alicia knew Bea was about to say Eddie. She suspected that half the ED knew something had happened between them, but she didn't want to think about that now. "It is Ethan" she said, a little too abruptly, shutting Bea down mid-sentence. It wasn't fair on Ethan to make Bea think he was the problem, but she didn't feel she had a choice. "I think I'll swear off men for good." She tried to make light of the situation, and it worked. Bea was either to drunk to notice Alicia's awkwardness or chose to let it go.

Bea reached for the bottle that Alicia had failed to grab. "You're preaching to the choir, mate" she said with a grin. "I swore off men for life a long time ago."

It took Alicia a moment to catch up then laughed at Bea's knowing smirk. "Oh, right, of course. I think you've got the right idea, maybe I'll try it your way some time."

Bea laughed. "Dating girls isn't any simpler, trust me. You just replace one set of dramas with another."

"Alicia. Wake up."

Alicia groaned at being woken up abruptly and reluctantly opened her eyes. Bea was hovering above her, shaking her shoulder with one hand and rubbing a towel through her damp hair with the other. Alicia turned her head away in protest and closed her eyes again. Bea was having none of it. She shook her again, more forcefully. "Get up, we don't want to be late for work."

Bea left the room, and the next time Alicia opened her eyes there was a mug of black coffee under her nose. It only felt like a second or two had passed, but Bea's hair was now dry and she'd done her makeup as well as made the coffee. "No dozing" Bea said. "Come on."

Alicia slowly sat up and took the hot mug gratefully. "What time is it? Are we late?"

Bea shifted a cushion from the sofa to make space to sit down. "Not yet, we've got time for a caffeine fix." Bea flashed her a grin. "I thought you might appreciate a bit of extra time to wake up after last night."

Speaking just then took all the effort Alicia could muster. Her head was pounding and her limbs felt like led. Bea talking a mile a minute right now was the last thing she needed but she didn't have the heart or the energy to tell her to shut up.

"I can't believe you passed out on the sofa again" Bea said, taking a sip from her own mug. "I would have helped you up the stairs, you know. That's what housemates are for."

Alicia only shrugged. She couldn't tell Bea the real reason she didn't want to sleep in her own bed. She couldn't tell her that in the 12 days since Bea had turned up on her doorstep she'd spent more nights sleeping in the living room than in her own bedroom. Maybe she would, but not yet.

She may not be able to confide in her colleague-turned-housemate, but Alicia knew she'd made the right decision letting Bea move in, and not for the reasons she'd eluded to last night. Alicia didn't want to be alone. As much as her instinct was to hide from the world and everyone in it, she understood that to give into that gut reflex would be dangerous. Not that drinking her body-weight in wine and tequila to try and numb the pain was exactly healthy, but this is where her party-girl reputation came in handy. She could chalk her nights at the pub down to letting off steam. No one need know the real reason.

Alicia pulled the blanket around her shoulders and took a sip of the coffee. "You're far too perky this morning, how are you not suffering as much as me?"

Bea shrugged. "I'd like to say practice and make myself sound cool, but you were knocking them back far faster than I was last night."

Alicia cringed inwardly. "Did I make a fool of myself?"

Bea smiled. "No. Thankfully I'm an excellent chaperone and got you home in one piece."

Alicia wanted to crawl right back under her blanket. It wasn't fair on Bea and she was aware she wasn't making the best impression on the junior doctor, either as a mentor or a housemate. "I'm sorry."

"Don't worry about it. But look, I'm all up for having fun, don't get me wrong, but I need an early night or two every now and then to recharge."

Alicia tried to smile, but it was a weary smile that was barely there. The constant struggle to put on a front and pretend she was ok was far more exhausting than the late nights drinking. "No problem" she replied.

Bea drained her mug and stood up. "I can drive in to work today" she said, leaving the room. "We should leave in 20."

"Thank you" Alicia called to Bea's retreating voice. She didn't just mean for the lift.

Alicia heard the key turn in the front door and took another sip of wine. There was a thud as Bea dumped her bag on the floor, a second later she appeared in the doorway. "Hey. I tried to find you after I'd changed and Noel said you'd already gone. Are you alright?"

Alicia took another gulp of wine in answer. "No, not really."

"Is this about Mr Michaels?"

"I've already had an earful from Dylan and Ethan, I don't need a lecture from you too."

Concern was etched on Bea's face as she entered the living room, shrugging off her jacket. "No lecture from me" she said. "I'm the last person to talk about making mistakes with patients."

"I didn't…" Alicia began to protest. "He wasn't straight with me about the medication he was on. How can we treat the patients properly if we don't have all the information?"

"I know, I'm sorry" Bea said. "I didn't mean anything by it. For what it's worth, I don't think it's your fault."

Alicia looked down at the floor. "Yeah, well, you're not my boss so…"

"If you want me to talk to Dr Keogh tomorrow, tell him my side of the story, I can."

Alicia shook her head. "No, it will just make things worse, best to just leave it. Thank you though."

"No problem" Bea said with a smile. "I've got your back."

Alicia was grateful, but it wasn't enough. She reached for the half empty bottle of wine on the coffee table and unscrewed the cap. Bea watched her silently. Alicia felt her eyes on her and looked up defensively. "What?"

"Nothing." Bea paused awkwardly. "It's just, maybe you should have a clear head tomorrow and prove your head's in the game."

Alicia's first instinct was to snap back that she was fine, but she knew it would be a lie. Bea wasn't stupid, she wouldn't believe it for a second anyway. Instead she sighed and put the bottle back on the table. Alicia wanted to finish the wine and pass out. That night time routine had become a regular occurrence recently, it was the only way she had found to prevent her lying awake in a state of panic, replaying that night over and over in her mind. She could either turn up for her shift hungover or sleep deprived, or not at all. Having a clear head really wasn't an option. But she felt bad for Bea. She'd left home to get away from her father's drinking problem, the last thing she needed was to worry about Alicia's drinking habits too. Alicia didn't want to do that to her, not when she'd been so kind. Alicia liked having Bea around, she didn't want to scare her away.

"You're right" Alicia said, trying to force a smile. She curled up in the corner of the couch and pulled her oversized sweatshirt over her knees. "Why don't I put the kettle on instead?"

"I'm on it" Bea said jumping up. "One sugar, right?"

"I'll see you tomorrow" Bea said, ushering Rash out the door. "I'm sorry about this."

"No, don't be" be said, but he was just as confused at Bea was. "I hope you're not in too much trouble with the landlady." Bea shoved him playfully.

At the end of the path Eddie stood with his hands in his pockets. "Are you coming or what?"

Rash glanced back once more at Bea and walked down the path.

Alicia watched through the gap in the lounge curtains and tried to catch her breath. And it wasn't because of her evening run that she couldn't breathe. She'd had a good day. Well, a better day. Dr McAllister was not on shift and she'd made a great save in resus. She was feeling good, and a run in the late afternoon sunshine was just what she needed.

Then she had come home, to him in her house, and she felt like she'd been punched in the gut. Alicia was still bent over breathing hard when she heard Bea close the front door.

"What's going on?" Bea asked, trying her best to be understanding about Alicia's extreme outburst but doing a bad job at hiding her irritation. "I just had a few friends over, I didn't realise I needed to ask permission."

Alicia pulled the curtains closed and took a second to compose herself before turning around. Her face was still red and tears were forming in her eyes but she tried hard not to let them fall. "Of course you don't" Alicia said. "But not Eddie, please not Eddie."

Alicia pushed past Bea and down the hallway, locking the bathroom door behind her. She turned on the tap and splashed water on her face. She looked at her reflection and the water dripping from her face and fought to regain control of her breathing.

The nerve of the man, to set foot in her house again. How dare he. They'd agreed to stay away from each other. It made Alicia sick to pretend like nothing more than an awkward one-night stand had happened, but she'd done it to get him off her back. She just wanted to forget that night ever happened. She couldn't do that at work, and she was struggling more and more at home too. Seeing Eddie in her house shocked her. She couldn't think straight, she flipped, and poor Bea had got the brunt of her anger.

Alicia picked up a towel to dry her face, but when the fabric was covering her face she let out a sob.

When she walked out of the bathroom Bea was putting empty beer bottles in the recycling. "There's pizza if you're hungry" she said. Her tone was flat, confused and a little hacked off.

"Ta" Alicia said. She walked past her to the sink and filled a glass with water.

"This is none of my business" Bea said, "but that's never stopped me before. It's no secret you and Eddie spent the night together, but I didn't realise it was so awkward between you now. I'm sorry, I should have thought about it before inviting him round."

"Apology accepted." Alicia paused. "Does everyone know?"

Bea's brown furrowed. "I'm not sure. I know Rash does. He saw you kissing in the pub that night and he saw you leave together, so…" Bea trailed off.

Alicia dropped her gaze to the floor and nodded thoughtfully. She looked back up at Bea with a pleading look. "Please don't gossip about it ok? I regret it. I never should have…"

"I totally get it. You were his mentor, he was your student. I won't get you in trouble. If anyone else finds out it won't be from me."

Alicia smiled gratefully. Bea didn't get it, how could she? But Alicia wasn't ready to confess and it was easier to let Bea think she was just embarrassed. Still, Alicia was aware she wouldn't fool her for much longer. She either needed to admit what had really gone on that night or pull herself together and get better at hiding her feelings.

"Alicia!" Bea slammed the door in her hurry to get inside. "Alicia, are you here?" She heard a crash from above and ran up the stairs. Hesitantly, she pushed open the door to Alicia's bedroom. As she did there was another thud as a pile of books was swept to the floor. The room was a mess, the floor was strewn with broken belongings and in the middle of it all Alicia stood, hyperventilating with tears streaming down her face.

Bea was stunned. "Alicia, what's going on? You went AWOL, Mrs Beauchamp's spitting feathers. She wasn't too happy about me leaving either but I had to check on you. What's the matter? What happened?"

Alicia wasn't listening, it was all she could do to keep breathing. Her head was swimming, the vodka she'd downed on an empty stomach had gone straight to her head and between that and her panicked thoughts she couldn't focus. She saw Bea standing in the doorway, but she was a blur, and her voice was muffled.

"Don't. I can't" was all Alicia managed to say. She took a swipe for the bottle of vodka lying on its side on her bare mattress. But she was too slow and Bea got there first.

"No you don't" Bea said, and caught Alicia as she stumbled. She snatched up the bottle herself and moved it out of reach, then held Alicia's shoulders to steady her. Bea was shocked at the state Alicia was in. She was supposed to go back to work, she'd promised she'd only be half an hour, but there was no way she could leave Alicia like this. Connie Beauchamp would just have to be furious with both of them.

Alicia swayed where she stood and clapped her hand to her mouth. "I'm going to be sick" she said, and vomited into the waste paper bin.

The next thing Alicia knew, she was sitting on her sofa wrapped in a blanket. She opened her eyes. It was getting dark outside, Alicia initially had no idea how she'd got here or why she'd passed out but then the events of the day came flooding back and she wished she was still unconscious.

Beside her Bea sat quietly. She held out a pint glass of water to Alicia. "Drink this."

Alicia took it and swallowed half the glass in two gulps. It was a long time before either of them said anything. Eventually Alicia was the one to speak. "Am I fired?"

Bea shook her head. "No. I don't think so. Mrs Beauchamp and Dr Hardy were pretty angry with you for running out on shift but I think I managed to calm them down. I called Dr Hardy while you were sleeping, I told him you were not well. I don't know whether he bought it or not but he didn't seem as angry. He was worried about you."

Alicia closed her eyes. Ethan. Thinking of him made her want to start crying again.

"I know something's not right" Bea said. Alicia scoffed. Understatement of the century. "The state I found you in when I got home… You scared me. What the hell is going on?"

Bile rose up in Alicia's throat and she thought she would throw up again, but she forced it back down. She was still feeling the affects of the vodka, but the light headed buzz that comes from drinking hard and fast had given way to a throbbing headache.

"Is this about that patient?" Bea tried again. "The domestic violence case?"

Alicia saw the persistent look on Bea's face and knew that she wouldn't get away with fobbing off her questions any longer. Alicia opened her mouth to talk but a lump formed in her throat. She couldn't get any words out. She only nodded.

"Mrs Cartwright wasn't even our patient. Dr McAllister did a great job with her, she's going to be fine. Her husband was arrested and she's going to press charges. She'll be fine."

Alicia's face twisted into one of anguish and when she spoke her voice was strained. "I couldn't stand it. Seeing Eddie with her, acting so compassionate and understanding. It made me sick."

There was venom in Alicia's words that Bea wasn't expecting. She placed her hand on Alicia's shoulder but the older doctor flinched. "God, Alicia, will you please just tell me what's going on? You've not been yourself for weeks, you're getting drunk every night and sleep walking through your shifts. Whatever's eating away at you, you can't keep it to yourself anymore. You'll self-destruct." Bea took the water glass from Alicia's hands and placed it on the floor. She tried again to touch her arm and this time she didn't pull away. Bea knew she was listening even if she wasn't making eye contact.

"Seeing Eddie every day at work, it's too much. Today I finally snapped."

"Everyone has one night stands they regret, I know I have."

"If only that's all it was." Alicia sank back into the sofa cushions and her hands fell to her lap. She fidgeted with her hands, breathing shallowly.

"I can tell there's more to it, there's no point pretending with me there isn't."

"You're right, there is."

Bea didn't say another word. To interrupt Alicia now, when she might finally be in the verge of sharing whatever painful secret she was harbouring could be catastrophic. Bea had dealt with enough of her own crap to know.

Alicia continued. "Eddie's walking around like nothing's wrong, like we had some wild passionate night and that was it. He and I remember that night very differently." Alicia took a deep breath and caught Bea's eye. Her face was calm but her brow was furrowed in concern. Bea nodded slightly, encouragingly, and rubbed Alicia's arm. "You said Dr Masum saw us in the pub. It's true, I kissed him first. And we left together, I brought him home. I knew it was stupid, but I'd had a terrible day." Alicia stopped. She didn't need to bring Ethan into this now. He'd hurt her, it was true, but she'd broken his heart on more than one occasion. None of this was his fault and bringing up his name now would make it seem like she blamed him when she didn't. This wasn't about Ethan, this was about her.

"I was after a bit of fun. I wanted it to happen. At least at first." Bea sat up straight, startled, but kept quiet. Alicia took a deep breath and continued. "We were laughing and joking in the cab on the way home, we were having a good time. But the moment we got inside something changed. I don't know, it was like he had blinkers on. We had both had a lot to drink but he knew what was happening, I know he did. But it's like he only had one thing on his mind and wouldn't see…" Alicia let the sentence fall away, too ashamed suddenly to look Dr Kinsella in the face.

"See what?" Bea spoke softly, as you would to a frightened animal.

"I was drunk, but not so drunk that I don't remember everything." Alicia wiped her cheek with the corner of the blanket. "He… He…" She couldn't say it. She couldn't say the word. And even now there was still that little bit of doubt in her mind. Maybe she was over reacting, maybe she'd got it wrong. But she couldn't ignore the feeling in her gut or the rational part of her brain that was fighting to be heard over the voices telling her to let it go. Bea gave Alicia's hand a squeeze and a tear fell down Alicia's cheek. "I didn't consent" she said simply, then closed her eyes.

It took a second for Bea to realise what Alicia was telling her and she gasped. "He raped you?"

Hearing that word said aloud by another person was the thing that finally broke down the barrier that Alicia had tried to put up around herself. She nodded once then her tears fell. Bea moved closer to her on the sofa and put an arm around her shoulders.

"Now he's walking around like everything's normal. I don't know whether he's just trying to cover it up because he knows he's done wrong or if he genuinely believes we had a good time. I don't know which scenario is more terrifying. Seeing him every day is bad enough but today when I saw him looking after that woman who had be raped and beaten by her husband, something snapped in me and I couldn't stand it. I saw his hypocritical smug face and I wanted to punch his teeth in. I couldn't do that, so I ran."

"I'm glad you didn't do that" Bea said. "Then you'd definitely be fired."

Despite herself, Alicia laughed. But that laugh only last a second before her tears began to fall again in earnest.

Bea sighed, regretting her ill-timed joke. "I'm sorry" she said. She meant about the joke, but those two words meant so much more. She wrapped her arms tighter around Alicia's shaking shoulders and pulled her into a hug. Alicia lay her head on Bea's shoulder and cried. All the emotion she had kept pent up for weeks spilled out of Alicia in silent floods. Bea just sat there and let her cry, her tears soaking into the shoulder of Bea's shirt.

A while later Alicia had fallen asleep again, exhausted. Bea didn't move, afraid of waking her, and she was just pondering whether to make some dinner when the doorbell rang. She glanced at Alicia, curled up under the blanket Bea had laid on top of her when she'd fallen asleep but she didn't stir. The doorbell rang again.

Bea got slowly to her feet, trying to figure out in a hurry what she might say to whoever was standing on the doorstep. When she opened to door to find Dr Hardy Bea let out a sigh of relief. She didn't know who she might find but she suddenly realised she'd had an irrational fear that it might be Eddie.

"Dr Hardy" she said. "Hello."

Ethan stood awkwardly on doorstep, his hands in his pockets. "Dr Kinsella. Sorry, I know it's late. Can I come in?" Bea hesitated. "I only want to check Alicia's ok."

What to say to that? Bea didn't know Dr Hardy that well but she knew something of his history with Alicia. He seemed like a sweet man and the look on his face was one of genuine concern, but she had the feeling Alicia wouldn't want to see anyone right now, not only him.

Bea smiled apologetically. "She's had a rough day, but I'm looking after her, I promise."

Bea hadn't said in so many words that he couldn't come in, but Ethan took the hint. "I don't blame her for not wanting to see me. But I can tell something's wrong, that something's been wrong for a while. I only want to help. Please tell me, is she OK?"

"I think she will be" Bea said. "I'll tell her you stopped by."

Ethan accepted defeat and took a step backwards. "Please let me know if I can do anything to help."

"I will" Bea nodded. She couldn't think what else to say. She watched Dr Hardy's back as he walked down the path and felt sorry for him, but she sensed she'd done the right thing. Alicia was fragile and didn't need anything to upset her more.

She closed the door with a gentle click and wandered back into the living room. Alicia was awake and sat cross-legged on the sofa clutching a cushion to her chest.

"Hey" Bea said. "That was Dr Hardy, he came to check on you. I sent him away, I'm sorry if that's not what you wanted."

Alicia smiled at the mention of Ethan's name and more tears welled in her eyes. "No, you did the right thing. I can't face him in this state. I can't face anyone."

Bea sat back down but kept her distance from Alicia now. After her earlier outburst, Alicia had grown quiet and withdrawn again. Her hands fidgeted nervously.

"How are you feeling?" Bea asked carefully, a little afraid of what the answer might be.

"Better. I think. I'm sorry, you didn't sign up for this, you came here to get away from drama at home, living here was supposed to be easy."

Bea shook her head. "Stop apologising Alicia. I'm happy to be here for you."

Alicia smiled gratefully. "Thank you. But I'm fine now. I think I just needed to get it off my chest, but really…"

"No" Bea said. "I won't let you do that. I won't let you try and pretend this isn't important."

"I can't face it" Alicia said, her voice quiet. "I can't face him. I'm not ready to have the whole world knowing my business."

"He can't get away with this" Bea said. Outrage was bubbling up inside of her, outrage on Alicia's behalf and fury at herself that she hadn't seen what type of man she was working alongside. She'd thought of Eddie as being a cocky ass sometimes, but basically harmless. How could she be so wrong?

"Bea, please, I'm not ready."

Bea took a gamble and pulled the blanket away, taking hold of Alicia's hand fiercely. "I'll be there with you, if you want to go to the police…"

"What can they do?" The pitch of Alicia's voice grew higher. "You said yourself half the pub saw us making out. It's my word against his, and who's going to believe me?"

"I believe you."

"They'll all just think it's party girl Munroe up to her old tricks. With my reputation no one is going to take me seriously."

"I'm taking you seriously" Bea said, her determination to make Alicia believe she was on her side was unwavering.

"I don't have the energy to have everyone staring at me and whispering and calling me a trouble-maker behind my back. I'm not strong enough."

"I think you are." Bea leaned forward so she was right in front of Alicia's face. She had to make sure she was listening, had to make sure she believed every word she was saying. "Confiding in me was incredibly brave. You don't have to deal with this alone anymore."

Alicia stared at her reflection in the hallway mirror. She smoothed back her hair one more time and dug around in her handbag for a lipstick. It wasn't until she unscrewed the cap and brought it to her lips that she realised her hands were shaking. She looked at her trembling hands for a moment before abandoning the exercise and dropping the lipstick back into her bag. She would just have to do without.

Bea appeared beside her and Alicia looked at her reflection in the mirror. "Are you sure you want to do this today? You had a long night last night, you should rest. And you're not even supposed to be working today." Bea's tone was gentle. She was exhausted herself. She'd stayed awake long after Alicia had fallen asleep on the sofa again, just thinking.

"I'm sure" Alicia said. "Because he won't be working either. Plus I know Mrs Beauchamp likes to get in early to do her paperwork at the weekend. I have to face the music sometime."

"Let me drive you" Bea said. "I can sit in the car park if you don't want me in there with you, but please let me come."

"You don't have to do that. It's your day off too, I'm sure the last place you want to be is the hospital."

"Actually, the last place I want to be is the gym, so really you'd be doing me a favour."

Bea grinned, but Alicia saw straight through her and they both knew it. But still, Alicia appreciated what her friend was trying to do. "Are you sure?"

"Absolutely. Do you know what you're going to say to Mrs Beauchamp?"

Alicia shook her head. "No idea. But I don't see how anything other than the truth will save me from suspension." Alicia tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear nervously. She was still shaking and this time Bea noticed. She touched Alicia's arm gently. "I'm sorry, I just need a minute."

"Take your time" Bea said. "Come and sit down." Bea guided Alicia to the sofa and she followed without protest.

"I owe Ethan an explanation too" Alicia said when she'd sat down. "I've treated him horribly."

"You don't owe anyone anything until you're ready" Bea said. "He'll understand, he's a good guy."

Alicia smiled. "He is. I don't deserve him."

"Stop" Bea said, a little more sharply than she meant to. "You deserve a good guy, you deserve to be treated well."

Alicia looked up at Bea's face and smiled. "Thank you for believing me, and being here." Alicia was nervous suddenly, at the memory of crying on Bea's shoulder last night and of her housemate clearing up the destruction of her bedroom without a word of complaint. Alicia hated making herself vulnerable to anyone, especially someone she didn't know all that well. But she trusted Bea, and these last couple of days Bea had proved that trust was well placed.

"Are you ready?" Bea asked. She squeezed Alicia's hand.

"Yes" Alicia answered. She was ready to go and plead to keep her job at least. She wasn't ready to confront Eddie. She wasn't ready to tell Ethan. She wasn't at all ready to go to the police. But this she could do. One step at a time.