A NECESSARY EVIL

Hello all! This is the third installment, the first being 'My One True Hell' and the second being 'Worlds Collide' and its just getting bigger and bigger... and a lot darker if possible.

Disclaimer: I don't own Dragonball/Z/GT

Warning: This story contains yaoi, bad language, abuse, violence and references to self harm and rape.

CHAPTER 1: SCARS

Sixteen days...

Gohan even felt himself smile at the thought; sixteen days - just over two weeks since he last harmed himself.

He was in his bedroom at his old family home, which was rotting away and gathering dust in the mountains. He was there picking up a few sentimental things for his mother, a message he'd received through his father as she still hadn't said a single word to him after what he did. What he was still doing despite that.

His room was exactly as he left it all those weeks ago, a mess. His bed was unmade, his books were thrown everywhere, there was even the odd blood stain from his various beatings at the hands of a certain android. As soon as Cell came into his head, so did those five months where he was held captive by him, and then he wondered why, after all those vicious assaults, not to mention one in particular, did he now come to think of the android as a... partner? And then he wondered how having so much hate for someone could backfire so severely.

Gohan finally brought himself to put one foot in front of the other, slowly making his way to the cracked mirror. After days of avoiding it, he hesitantly raised his head to take a good look at his reflection. He half expected it to tip him over the edge, but he seemed intrigued by how much he'd changed thanks to all of his training. Sixteen years old. He should almost be a man now; if only he hadn't grown up too quickly already.

The saiyan sighed and raised his wrist, feeling ready to finally face his scars after managing to withstand his own reflection without feeling sick. He slowly removed his right wrist band to reveal his disfigured and mangled skin; he'd cut himself so much they almost looked like burns. The sight of his scars was starting to make him feel uncomfortable.

"Do you really think that's wise?"

Gohan jumped, but sighed again when he saw Cell stood at the door. He quickly put his wrist band back on.

"Stop lurking!" he hissed, not really knowing why he was being so quiet. Maybe the deafening silence of the house was having an affect on him.

"I don't lurk," said Cell, partly to convince himself that he didn't.

Gohan watched as Cell entered the room, observing every corner as if he, too, was reminiscing about when they more or less lived here, though he seemed to be enjoying the memories a lot more. It infuriated Gohan, who began to stare through himself in the mirror. He began feeling angry the more he thought about his captivity, the torture, the way he starved himself just to try and get away. Why do I love you?

"Ah, I see that you can finally stand to look at yourself."

Gohan rolled his eyes when he snapped out of his ever darkening thoughts, staring at himself even more. And then his heart sank when he realised something.

"I can't believe I'm still wearing this," he said, shocked that he hadn't noticed.

Piccolo had given it to him years ago, though he'd lengthened it himself as he grew older. He started to pull at it, convinced that he didn't deserve to wear it anymore; it was violated by the things that he'd done. He wasn't that same scared little boy that he used to be. He hardly spoke to his former mentor these days, he didn't train under him, neither could he even say that they were close any longer. And then he felt sad, it was time to let go of that part of his life.

"There's got to be something else in here," he said to himself, ignoring the android who was gazing out of the window.

Gohan frantically searched his closet for another gi, starting to feel defeated when all he could find were his regular 'human' clothes. He stopped for a second, then remembered that he'd made one just before he died, and he'd managed to finish it; he remembered that making it was just another way to keep his hands busy. He found it in one of the drawers. It was blue, a little lighter than the one he had on now. Luckily, he made it a little too big for himself at the time.

Still ignoring Cell, he quickly changed into it, happy that it fit perfectly, loose fitting so that he had room to move properly. He had red wristbands, which he changed rather rapidly to avoid looking at his scars again, a red belt that he tied this time rather than wrapping it around himself, and black and white shoes. Seeing his old gi in a pile on the floor made him feel much better, he'd finally left that part of his life behind.

"Are you done?"

Cell turned around, stopping when he saw Gohan in his new attire, though didn't let on just how much it extenuated his form. In a good way.

"My mom just needs a photo that she keeps in her room."

Gohan already had everything else on his bed, Chi Chi and Goku's wedding album, the wedding dress that belonged to Chi Chi's mother, Goku's power pole... and now he had the photo of him and Goten when they were younger, his brother must have been just a year old when it was taken. Gohan felt that sense of sorrow again when he looked his twelve year old self, he saw that fake smile, the exact one that he still uses on his friends.

"That's everything," he said, quickly shoving everything into his old school bag. Everything except for the photo, he stopped dead and stared at it again. This time, he felt himself welling up.

"What is it?"

"Nothing," he said dismissively, carelessly stuffing it into the bag with the rest of the list.

He slammed his hand on top of the bag to make sure that he couldn't see it anymore. As he was fighting the tears back, he felt his shoulder being caressed softly, as if he was being comforted. He started to calm down, but then reverted to his current ways of dealing with his problems. Gohan instantly turned around and crashed their lips together in a desperate, pathetic kiss, which Cell of course relented to keep control over him. He made sure that he had the bag in his hand when he rested his head on Cell's shoulder, prompting the android to hold him.

Cell was still unsure of how to properly show affection, because he was never 'programmed' to. He put one hand on his back and the other followed. Gohan soon lifted his head up slowly, searching for a second kiss, and he almost got one before he was interrupted.

"Are you ready to leave?"

"Yeah," he answered, trying not to sound too disappointed. He was only minutes away from getting what he wanted; one more round of hostile sex where they were sure to have as much privacy as they desired, enough silence for Cell to make Gohan scream loud enough to destroy without disturbing anyone. Gohan took one last look at his home before they finally disappeared.

"Gohan!"

Gohan just about managed to smile at his five year old brother as he ran up to him. The young boy looked very happy to see him, but it just made Gohan feel awkward.

"Hey," he muttered. He looked up from Goten to see that his mother still had her back to him; she was changing his newborn brother, Haru, who was gurgling away on the changing table. "Mom, I have the stuff you wanted -"

"Just leave it over there," she said quickly, not even turning around. Gohan sighed out of frustration and threw the bag onto her bed. Just as he expected, she was still mad at him for what he did - letting Goten more or less walk in on him and Cell getting up to no good, though he didn't really see anything to cause any harm.

"Mom -"

"Your father wanted to speak to you. He'd outside."

Gohan just rolled his eyes and left the room before he said anything he'd regret. Though he hadn't noticed that Chi Chi did actually turn to look at him as he left the room.

"How soon before we head out?" asked Piccolo. Cooler folded his arms as he began pacing; it was to hide his own nerves about the situation.

"We go tonight. We need to find your family and friends a safe area to stay."

"Why do you care about our families?" asked a skeptical Vegeta.

"Don't think for a second that I do, but if Frieza captures them, they can be used against us to blow our cover."

"Hey, Gohan! Did you get your mother's things?" asked Goku as Gohan walked out to them. So he didn't actually want to speak to me... she just wanted to get rid of me...

"Uh, yeah," he mumbled. Gohan seemed more down than usual, which sparked Vegeta to speak up.

"Everything okay? You seem low."

"I'm okay... it's just... being in that house again," he said honestly. "But seriously, I'm fine."

They all walked inside where everyone was gathering in the hallway, getting their bearings and their things together for leaving. As soon as Cooler began his usual strategies and speechifying, Gohan began to get bored, but as he looked over to Cell, he noticed that the android wasn't paying any attention to the speeches going on; in fact, he'd been staring at him the entire time.

"What?" he mouthed, not drawing any attention to himself. Cell cocked his head sharply to the right with a smile, gesturing at him to follow him when he casually slipped around the corner. Gohan, not seeing any reason to stick around, edged away from his friends and followed him out. Unknowingly catching the suspicions of Krillin. The monk wanted to tag along to see what they were up to, but couldn't seem to find the right opportunity to sneak off.

Cooler was talking for a good twenty minutes before everyone was finally dismissed. Krillin hurried down the corridor where Gohan had disappeared down. He looked lost until he heard laughter.

Gohan was laughing.

It was something that made his heart skip a few beats as he hadn't even seen Gohan smile properly for months. It was definitely his human half, it sounded too innocent to be anything else. Then he heard him yell.

Krillin rushed around the corner to what looked like one of the smaller bathrooms with the door ajar. As he went closer, Gohan came into view; he was lying face down over the counter, jerking forward rhythmically as if he was being... Oh god no! That laugh didn't sound so pure anymore. Krillin had hoped he'd never have to see them together, but he was half tempted to walk in there and put a stop to it.

"Ah... yeah!"

Gohan raised is head and rested on his elbows as he got more and more into it, but Krillin physically jumped when he saw Cell's hand reach out and forcefully shove him back down onto the counter by the back of his neck. The will to break this up faded quickly when he thought about Cell being in there with him.

"Fuck me!"

Krillin wished he'd never heard that... that was his best friend's son. All of the moaning suddenly stopped. He popped his head around the corner again slightly and saw Gohan sat on the counter, more or less fully dressed, though his pants were wonky. His hair was messier than usual... but he was smiling. Genuinely smiling. He was about to go in there and drag him away, but Cell suddenly came into view, pulling Gohan closer to him, causing the boy to begin laughing again.

"Such a filthy mouth."

"You started it."

They were soon kissing, but Krillin stopped looking again when Cell's hand disappeared down Gohan's pants.

"Krillin, have you seen Gohan?"

He froze when he realised who that voice belonged to and turned around to see Chi Chi.

"Uh... no, he's not down here."

"I think I need to talk to him."

Now really wasn't the best time for her to decide to try again to reunite with Gohan, especially as he could hear him again next door. Chi Chi was about to turn around when she heard a loud moan coming from behind her.

"What was that?"

"What? I didn't hear anything."

There it was again, that laughter. Her eldest son was laughing for the first time in what felt like years. Krillin couldn't stop her from looking into the bathroom. Neither Gohan or Cell noticed her. She felt unnerved by seeing the android's hands on him, and felt especially sick at the sight of his clothes barely clinging onto him. By the look of his hair sticking to his face, it didn't take long to work out what they'd been doing. They began kissing again, Gohan smiling into it. Chi Chi hadn't seen him smile like that for anyone.

Before they could see her, she left and ran as fast as she could.

Krillin didn't know whether to follow her or not, but couldn't hear anything explicit going on, so decided to finally show himself. Gohan was just tying his belt when he seemed to appear in front of them. The boy jumped when he turned around.

"What the -"

"What do you want?" snarled Cell, who was leaning against the counter.

"Get out of here, Cell," growled Krillin. Cell looked at Gohan for a second; he nodded, prompting Cell to leave with a wide smirk across his face that only Krillin could see - he knew that they were being watched the whole time. "What the hell was that?"

"What was what?" asked Gohan, feeling nervous.

"I saw the whole thing, the door was wide open!"

"Oh... whoops," said Gohan, scratching his head obliviously. "Sorry about that."

"This has to stop. Cell clearly has some kind of hold over you!"

"You think?" he said sarcastically.

"Maybe it isn't such a good idea you two being so close together through this fight. It might drive you back down again."

"Believe it or not, Krillin, sleeping with him is the only thing keeping me stable right now."

"And that's a habit you're going to have to get out of. You have to stop going back to him all the time."

"I can't stop!" he cried, pushing past him. He began feeling agitated as he didn't want anyone to know the real reason why.

"What is it?"

"Nothing!"

"Walk away then!"

"I can't!" Gohan face away from Krillin, folding his arms as if he was trying to hide away. And then it hit him, and his heart sank even further.

"You're in love with him..."

Gohan turned around, looking quite angry and frustrated.

"And now you see why I hate myself."

"But, all the things he's done to you -"

"You don't have to remind me, I can't really explain it either," he sighed, not wanting to go over everything that Cell did to him in his head. After a long silence, Krillin finally decided to tell him the worst news he could possibly hear right now.

"Your mother wanted to talk to you... but she just saw you."

"What?!" Gohan's eyes widened. "What did she see?!"

"You and Cell... when you were..."

"Oh no..."

Gohan didn't know why he ran after her. Nothing could explain this away.

Chi Chi was frantically packing away her things, preparing the baby's bag for the long weeks ahead. When she went through Gohan's school bag, she found the old photograph of him and Goten four years ago. She felt devastated. He was no longer a little boy, and in the wrong way.

"Mom!"

Gohan ran into the room to see her staring at the picture. She finally looked at him, only for her heart to break again.

"I guess I did have to see it to believe that you're sleeping with that monster."

"I didn't mean for you to see that."

"The door was wide open! Anybody could have walked in on you. But I guess that's not the whole point."

"I didn't -"

"You were laughing," she said, not sure whether she was happy or distressed about it. "I haven't heard you laugh like that for years! What on earth does he have over you that nobody else does?!"

Gohan didn't know what to say, come to think of it, Cell was the only one who made him laugh these days, even if it was during their 'fun'.

"He doesn't have anything over me," he said, not knowing how else to answer without telling her the truth.

"I've seen the way he looks at you. It's disgusting. Why do you let him do those things to you?" she carried on, still packing angrily. "You shouldn't just give it away, you know Gohan."

"It's a little late for 'the talk' now, mom."

"I don't care, I think we need to have it, I mean, are you being careful?"

Gohan didn't mean to laugh out of disbelief. Safe sex never came up for discussion, especially with Cell.

"Careful? This is Cell we're talking about..."

"Exactly, if you can't even talk to him about that then you're just giving it to him on a plate. Sex should be with somebody you love -" Chi Chi stopped what she was doing when Gohan suddenly avoided eye contact with her as soon as she said that last word. "No... you don't. You can't!" Gohan continued to stare at the floor when his mother picked up her bags. "We are never to mention this again. Understand?"

It was as if Chi Chi had finally washed her hands of him as she brushed past him without another word. But at least he didn't have to see her for a while now, they were all about to head out into battle against Frieza and his army. However, he began to doubt that there was any way to salvage their shattered relationship. And the only thing worse than that was the fact that he only wanted to escape from it all and be with the one person who was responsible for ruining his life.

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