"So Sanders," how's this for blonde logic?" asked Jim Brass as he walked with Greg Sanders through the hall at CSI. "Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking, and one blonde says to the other, 'Which do you think is farther away... Florida or the moon?' The other blonde turns and says "Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida ??"
Greg rolled his eyes and mumbled " HA HA," before turning into the break room for a much need respite. Jim scowled then shrugged his shoulders and went in search of another victim.
"What's wrong, Greg?" Sara asked from her spot on the couch.
"Brass…he's on a blonde joke rage," Greg answered.
Sara snickered. "Really? That's not Jim's usual kind of humor…"
"It is tonight…he keeps coming up with them…the whole time at the scene, that's all I heard from him."
Sara shrugged her shoulders, walked to the sink and dumped the rest of her coffee in her cup and set it on the counter. "Well, see ya later; I have to finish packing away the evidence form my case."
Jim wandered into the garage where Warrick and Nick were stripping a car, looking for evidence. "How's it going guys?"
"Great, just great," sighed Nick as he tossed a tool onto the workbench.
"We can't find anything that helps the case," Warrick growled.
"Hey Nicky," Brass jumped in, seeing his opportunity. "Did ya hear the one about the Aggie that pushes his BMW into a gas station? He tells the mechanic it died. After the mechanic works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.
The Aggie asks, 'What's the story?' and the mechanic replies, 'Just crap in the carburetor.'
So the Aggie asks, 'How often do I have to do that?"
Warrick guffawed as Nick snickered. "That's bad, Brass…really bad…"
"Here's one for you Jim," Warrick said as he joined in the joking spirit. "A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license. She replied in a huff, 'I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!"
Brass chuckled. "Good one, Rick. I'll have to remember that one for the squad room…" he said as he headed back into the hall.
Walking down the hall, Jim saw Sara in the layout room. Stepping in, he looked at her work. "Finished already?" he asked.
"Yeah," she smiled. "We got him."
"Good," he said, sounding satisfied. "Hey, did you hear about the geek that went out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another geek on the opposite bank. 'Yoo-hoo!" she shouts, 'How can I get to the other side?'
The second geek looks up the river then down the river and shouts back, 'You ARE on the other side."
Sara looked at the detective, patience sketched in her features. "I heard you were on a joke high. That was funny…very funny, Jim. See how much I am laughing?"
Jim shrugged his shoulders. "Yeah well, some people just never have any fun."
"Go away, Jim." She told him tolerantly.
"No fun at all," he called back over his shoulder as he headed into the hall.
He poked his head into Catherine's office. "Hey," he said.
"Hey yourself," she said, looking up from the report she was writing." What brings you to our side?"
Jim smiled. "A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it. 'Impossible!' says the doctor. 'Show me.'
The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left shoulder and screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed even more. She pushed her knee and screamed; next she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream.
The doctor said, 'You're not really a redhead, are you?'
'Well, no' she said, 'I'm actually a blonde.'
'I thought so,' the doctor said. 'Your finger is broken."
Catherine chuckled. "I heard you were on a roll. That was a good one, Jim. What's wrong, not enough crime to keep you entertained tonight? Now go away, I have work to do."
"Yeah, yeah…Just think how much more work you'd have if there was more crime tonight." He said as he waved at her. Then he turned and headed out.
Finally, Jim cornered Gil Grissom in his office. "Hey Gil."
Grissom looked up from his book, peering over his glasses. "Jim?"
"Just out for a walk, it's a slow night."
"Yeah, I've even caught up on my paperwork," Grissom said.
"Hey, did you hear the one about the Russian, an American, and a Blonde talking one day? The Russian said, 'We were the first in space!'
The American said, 'We were the first on the moon!'
The Blonde said, 'So what? We're going to be the first on the sun!'
The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads. 'You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!' said the Russian.
To which the Blonde replied, 'We're not stupid, you know. We're going at night!"
Grissom smirked, his eyes catching sight of Catherine walking into his office. She looked from one man to the other and then chuckled at Grissom. "So, he finally made it to you?"
"Yeah," Gil answered. "But I've got one for him." He looked at Brass. " A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was, 'If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?'
She thought for a time and then asked, 'Is it on or off?"
Jim chuckled as Catherine grimaced. Then she joined in. "Well, I have one for Jim. A guy was in the park and ran into a cop friend, who had acquired two new dogs. He asked the cop what their names were. The cop responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.
The guy said, 'Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?'
'Geez,' answered the cop. 'They're watch dogs!"
Gil grimaced as Jim chuckled. Just then cell phones began to ring and all three pulled theirs out to answer. Jim's face grew grim as he closed his phone, nodding at the other two. "Guess the fun's over," he said as they all headed out to a new crime scene.
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This one just popped into my head after reading an e-mail filled with blonde jokes. Hope you find it amusing. Please review and let me know...and share any blonde jokes ..or Aggie jokes...that you may have,lol.
