The Beautiful Letdown.
One.
Nick.
16th January 2008 {Past}
The flat is suprisingly quiet, expeically at this time in the morning. Strange.
My bare feet padded across the marble flooring, sending sharp shiver's running down my spine. I swirved my head around the corner, just to see if my mum was in the kitchen. No such luck, where is she? Nevermind her, where's Joe? He's always the one in here before everyone else; but maybe that's the fact that he only get's home from partying at around 7am, in time for us to get up. I've got to hand it to him though, he sure doesn't act like he doesn't get hardly any sleep, well that's to everyone outside of the family. In this flat?
Gosh, he vent's out his anger on me..and well our mum. He's such an ass sometimes. So back to my point, where is everyone?
I walked towards the balcony, a rather large balcony in this area. Each step I took, it was like a step into a war zone in this flat. I'm not used to it being so quiet, it's never like this! Maybe Joe's killed mum? Maybe they've both shot eachother in a flare of rage? Maybe- Ah, enough with the maybes.
"Joe?" I called out, walking towards the door, I heard his fimilar grunt, it became his new 'greet' for me. A greet that definatley showed me that my arrival wasn't welcomed, but it never has been. Never since his-
"I'm so glad I've got you around." I heard him say through the glass door's. I opened them to reveal himself, he wore his usual kind of outfit to school; jeans, a shirt that had his saying of the day on, which was now 'get out of my way, or i'll kick your fucking ass.' Nice choice of word's I guess. He was smiling, but not directly at me, in fact he wasn't even looking at me! Maybe he just didn't want to get too soft, you know? Since he doesn't want to let his walls down yet for me, it's too soon I guess, but isn't a good 13 month's enough?
"Wow Joe," I beamed, stepping out into the sunlight so he could see me more properly. At an instant he stood up tall, his chest more buffed up, his muscles had tensed a great deal. And the look in his eye? Good, if look's could kill I tell you, if look's could kill...I'd be dead. "I've never heard you say that before," this was a start, I guess.
Joe grunted, holding in his 'oh-so-stupid-chuckle,' "I was talking to my sunglasses, nerd," he spat, pushing past me as he walked up the stairs. As I watched him walk up the stairs, I kept the pain in, the pain that I wanted to scream out with as soon as he smacked our shoulder's together, it was like being punched with a brick - like literally! But not just that type of physical pain -but mental pain aswell, when can't he forgive me? Why can't he atleast try to talk to me like I'm a normal person again. Why can't we go back to the way we were last year; me, him and De-
Maybe mum is right, maybe I should just stay out of his way from now on; then he definatley won't be able to hurt me. Well not physically, but mentally? Nuh, that's a different story, I can feel the vibes of PURE hate towards me, pure, pure and even more pure. What a great way to spent my teenage years; being scared of my older brother, having only one bestfriend who is my ONLY friend and to top it all off; nobody to talk to about anything. I ust can't seem to tell her - Miley, my bestfriend I mean! Not even my mum, she just tells me to man up like I'm some flipping spud.
I walked out of the kitchen and into the living room, the white sofa's balancing out the bright ray's of sunshine; reflecting the beauty of the interior beautifully, yeah that's another thing. Our mum's a house interior designer, basically designs the styles of peoples' houses; the colours, sofas, wallpapers, beddings, bed..anything you can use around the house - you name it, she buys it, but for them. I pick up my car key's before walking to the tip of the stairs, that's another weird thing, our flat actually has a second part to it, but I think that reason is because mum bribed the owners from the upstairs flat to move last year for more space, stupid idiots, but good stupid idiots at that. Now I don't have to share a room with..him. The darkness alway's compells him, expecially when he see's me near him. Hate, pure hatered.
"Joe!" I call out, looking up the stairs to see if he comes to look at me, like he used to. Maybe even through his cheeky grin at me. But that's asking for too much, I can't ask for that much off my brother that despises my gut's so much. "I'm going now, do you want a lift?" I ask, I prayed he'd say yes, but like always the same answer.
"Why don't you just fuck off, Twinkle Toes," I heard him screetch through his bedroom door, ok; taking that as a no. I think I'm most likely used to his behaviour and vicious words to me; it's been going on since last year, since..everything that happened. He blames me, and I know he blames me, he knows he blames me; but he hasn't said it outloud, he doesn't need to. Everyone knows he blames me for what happened, I would blame me for what happened if I walked in onto the scene the same time as him, I don't blame him. I sometimes think I did it, I try and make myself believe I done something so terrible, I want him to actually hate me for something that's real; not based on the sight he saw. Talk about wrong timings.
I bite my tongue from saying anything else, there's no point. He'll get angry, shout at me, call me names. It'll end physical, like it always does. Zip it and flip it. Should be my new modo for shutting up now, I basically do it too much.
I looked around the halls, teenagers; every single figure here is owned by a person's soul. So what about me? I sense no soul in me, like I'm some walking freaking ghost, a freak show, a new circus has arrived! Totally not the job line I want, mines more like; I want to be a journalist, get into a good university, then on our last years of that we go to any university in the world to study, basically what we go to school for. So California, here I come! But possibly in around 4-5 years?
"Watch it loser," someone sniggered, as we banged shoulders. AH! That hurt's like a thorn in my ass! It feel's like the normal bump and punch by- I look up to meet Joe's glare - Joe. Why does he always have to do that! I might be some sort of nerd who talks to much for my own good or I know too much sometimes, but Joe - my own brother- is the only one who picks on me at school. Believe it or not, my own freaking brother! I think that's why no one picks on me, but four reasons. 1. I'm Joe's younger brother. 2. Everyone is basically scared of Joe. 3. Joe is a senior, everyone's scared of seniors and 4. Joe does all the dirty work to me in school anyways, there's no point for his friends to join in; nevermind the whole school.
"Ouch," I muttered, trying to regain my posture, not working I tell you. Not working!
"Don't be such a sissy, Nick." he sneered, holting his 'posse.' If you could call them that.
"I'm not!" I shrieked, he knows I'm pissed off. Apparently, when we used to playfight before everything happened- she happened, he alway's used to tell me how much of a strong punch I had when I got pissed, but he doesn't know since that day I've been taking boxing lessons. Yup, boxing. Joe would freak if he knew, he just hasn't noticed the difference in my body weight of how much my muscles have rippled. Then again nobody has, nobody would. He doesn't even know I go to the gym a few times a week. He would kick my ass if he found out - but what he doesn't know, won't hurt. Right?
"Aww, Nicky-boo-boo-boo going to cry?" he snickered, his friends watching with a smug look. One day their face's will be whipped clean; with my fist.
"Stop being an ass, Joe." I rubbed my head, trying to calm myself down.
"What the-" he began, a voice interrupting him. He stopped, I stopped. Everyone stopped to look at this intruder.
"You heard him, stop being an ass, Joe." it was a girl, a girl about our age, a beautiful girl in fact. Her highlighted hair came down to just above her waist, her killer legs in those heels could run for miles, and that dashing body. She'd sure be someone's fuck buddy in less then an hour. I moved my gaze up to her lips, those soft plumped cloud-like lips. The one's I just want to kiss. But I have to control myself! That's my bestfriend I'm talking about, God know's how I started to talk to such an amazing beauty.
Joe grunted, he'd never shout nor hit a girl. "Shut up Stewart." he spat, looking down at her in filth. Like she was some shit stuck to his shoe.
"Hey!" I called out, nobody talk's to Miley like that. Nobody talks to any girl like that! We were brought up right, to treat women right. "Don't talk to her like that." I hissed, stepping closer to him. I so badly wanted to punch him, but I'm supposed to be the good guy in our small family we have left. A family that's breaking apart every day, and I can't hit him, I can't do that to our mom. He has to-
Smack!
The inpact hit my right cheek, sending me flying. I'm pretty sure that's going to bruise tommorow. People were gasping, gosh. I was shocked, I mean - yeah we've fought, but he just punched punched me..for real? Like right now, he's never done that, ever! I never expected him to, what the hell is wrong with this guy!
I placed my elbow on the floor, trying to lift myself up as the crowds of people rushed to my side. I even caught a glimpse of Joe, he hesitated to walk to me. He had that luck in his eye, a look I'd alway's see after we faught. He was apologising; with his eyes. That flipping arsehole!
I lifted myself up, cupping my cheek in an instant. I literally had to heave myself off the floor, a painful groan had already slipped from my lips before I could even protest. I felt someones small long arms wrap around my wasit to help me up. And I knew at an instant who it was- my Miley. I have to admit, I feel like shit, like I don't deserve anyone, that my family hates me, that Joe hates me, that nobody even wants me around, nobody wants to be around me. So why can't I go? That's what I ask myself everyday, and still I'm here. Fighting my brother - trying to win him back. But maybe this is my sign of 'stop trying' because I'm done trying.
Joe turned and started to walk away, I guess if he could go hating me I could atleast get payback? Show everyone what I'm like, who the real Nick Jonas is. Show them the person underneath the mask that I've been hiding underneath for so long!
I took Miley's arm's from my waist, sending her a small smile. She just frowned at me, compeletly confused at what I was about to do. I quickly sprinted, down the hall - after the so called devil I call my brother, I need to make my mark, right on his-
I jumped on his back, the both of us flew to the floor, my knees impacted with the cold ground the same time Joe's back did. He turned to look at me, he was confused at first, trying to register what was about to happen next, and trust me. He wouldn't know what had hit him..apart from my face.
Miley.
As soon as Nick went charging down the hallways, I knew. I knew at an instant where the idiot was going. Right after his flamming brother! I quickly sprinted after him, I was basically right behind him...the footsteps of the people were ringing behind me. Running as rapidly as I was. But they were running for this fight - between siblings. I was running because I was scared for my bestfriend, the only guy I'd ever love.
21st January 2010 {Present.}
The alarm rang through my ears, making me wake up from my dream. The flashbacks again, I had them atleast every night, somewhat more whenever I daydreamed, but you couldn't call it daydreaming when you actually re-live your past 2 years with your ex-bestfriend.
Yup, he's my ex-bestfriend, the guy that changed after that one fight, the guy that broke my heart, the guy I shared so many secrets with, the guy I missed, the guy I moved away from after he changed for the worse, but most importantly; the guy I fell in love with. And for some reason; I'm still proud to shout it out to the world that I'm glad I still love him.
Why? That's what people ask, and the answer I give them? That's easy, you can never forget your first love, no matter what promise's were broken. Atleast you can say you had him first if you ever see him with his wife.' nah I'm kidding. It's more like; 'When I fell in love with Nick, I made a promise to myself to love him forever, and that's what I'm doing; loving him forever. I don't even need to make that promise anymore, because no matter what happen's I shall love him more than I shall ever love anyone else.'
A/n: my new story :D like? make? delete? tell me! :D i really liked writing this aswell! ;o shocker! ahaa