Shawn's thought process about his intelligence, his maturity, and if he's ready to give up the "psychic" gig.
One-shot.
A/N: This is my first story in around 10 years. I just wanted to see if I could write anything, even if it was bad. I just wanted to finish a story from beginning to end. This is what I came up with:
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[Int. Victim's Apartment]
You did it again, Shawn. Everyone looks pissed because you made yet another tactless joke. I know, I know. Sometimes you forget to filter your thoughts, and yes, you are pretty funny, but that is a dead man lying there and you are once again making fun of the clothes, hair, and apartment furnishings of a deceased person….am I really berating myself in my head right now?
That's Affirmative.
Quick, say something genius to make people forget that you just said the man "seems like a stiff."
"Uh…I am sensing that the victim…." Hurry up and notice something. Focus! OH! That. Right there. Those are totally splinters. Perfect.
"…was killed by a wooden object…." Look around the room. Can anything match the wound? There's a drop of blood by that closet door!
"…AND! Wait…yes, I am seeing that the weapon is somewhere in this apartment."
Nailed it. I'll let them discover the weapon.
"Well, seems my work here is done. Call me when you have something. And Jules, just call me whenever. Let's go, Gus."
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[Int. the Blueberry]
A fraternity paddle. Smacked to death in the face with a fraternity paddle. And we weren't even at a frat house! But the dude was definitely not a co-ed. Maybe a house dad? Or a dad-dad? Killed by his angry son? I need more information before I can figure out any more.
What's bugging me though, is why can I never just say, "I see a splinter in the wound. And there's a blood drop under the closet's doorknob." I mean, yeah, the whole fake-psychic thing, but really, would I even be prosecuted at this point? I've helped them out a lot, and with every case they've gotten enough evidence to convict. I really don't think any criminals would be released. This is something I should ask Juliet, when I get a chance.
So why do I do this? Why do I let people believe I'm an idiot? School was always so easy. When you have an eidetic memory, you don't have to study. You barely have to pay attention. Having undiagnosed ADHD didn't help either. It was more fun to crack jokes and have fun pulling pranks than sitting quietly at my desk. My grades were always fine, but my report cards always had remarks about my behavior. So at least the childishness started when I was a child. That's something, right? Then why didn't I grow out of it?
It's fun, that's why. It's more fun to be psychic than to just be straightforward with the police about what happened. Besides, I tried that once and it almost got me arrested.
Wouldn't it be cool though, if I could solve a case as just me. No fooling around, no fake visions. It would be just me with my photographic memory, and my dad's stupid —yet helpful—training. I could prove to everyone that I'm an asset to the department. Maybe I could come clean and just become a regular private detective. There's still no way in hell I'd become Lassie Junior. Plus the department has too many rules. And what would Gus do? Gus! This is definitely something I should discuss with him.
"Gus!"
"Dude, I've been talking to you for 5 minutes and you haven't said a word til now. I think that's a record. What were you thinking about?"
"Oh, you know…the case and stuff…a frat paddle. Killed by paddle, and not in a kinky way. It's weird, Gus."
"I hear that."
I can't do it. Not yet. I need to figure out for myself what I want before I involve others. And I need to talk to Juliet. But this has to end at some point. I'm getting bored with the hand-to-head gesture and I'm getting tired of looking like a fool all the time. Surely I can be funny without looking dumb, right?
Maybe when I decide to do it, I'll just walk up to the Chief and go, "I know you know I'm not telling the truth." And just see what happens.
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A/N: My one hope for the series finale is that Shawn admits he isn't psychic, or is found out, and how the SBPD would react to that. That's partly why I wrote this. I also wrote it because people always think Shawn's an idiot, but I think it's a façade he puts up because he is definitely a very smart man when he wants to be.
Please leave reviews. Honest opinions on if I just suck or if it's okay. The only writing I ever do is lab reports so I'm not good at creative writing. I just wanted to give it a shot and see what people thought. Thanks!