A/N It's midnight and I have school tomorrow, so I'm doing the perfectly logical thing and writing a Johnlock fanfic. Will trade Terrys Chocolate Orange for reviews/favorites. Thanks for reading:)

"For the case, John!" Really. John was probably the only human being still in existence that didn't infuriate me, but, honestly, sometimes that man could be dull. All I asked him to do was keep down a record of how I acted while intoxicated. It was really rather crucial that it was done. I had to see whether or not you could remember basic information on other humans while under the influence of alcohol. I needed it for a case, and John was being so boring. Asking all these questions and what not. If there was anybody else who I even vaguely trusted enough to do this with, I swear to god I wold have by now. As it so happens, John is the only one suitable. If he would stop asking stupid questions, that is.

"Fine." John didn't sound very please. Oh well, I'm sure he'll cheer up soon, he always seems to when there's alcohol around. I made sure he was ready, with a notebook and pen, so he could record my alcohol intake, and the effects it has on me before I started. Then I picked up the first drink, a Malibu and Coke, John had called it. I drank it down quickly, I was surprised at how nice it was, actually. So I tried another. And another. And another. My head does feel funny. Maybe I should sit down. Ah look! It's John! I really like John, he's not too stupid.

"You're not too bad either, Sherlock" I hear John sigh at me. Whoops, did I say that out loud? My brain filter must be faulty. I need to be a bit more careful. Maybe I should have another drink, that ought to help.

The next hour passes away in a total blur, I know John is here. I think he's tying to put me to bed, and I think I said some very unsavory things to him. I do hope he forgives me. Next thing I know, I'm in Johns bed, and John is convincing me that I must rest. Maybe he's right. He is very pretty, that John, he has very nice eyes.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, Sherlock, you're bloody gorgeous too. Now go to sleep" Oops, I did it again. I really must have said some awful things, if I can't control how my brain works. Oh well, I think I am actually very tired, and I might go to sleep now. Why am I in Johns bed? Where will John sleep? I wish he would stay the night.

"We're in my room Sherlock, because you can hardly move a two feet on your own. And I'm sure as hell not going into your room, who knows what in there. I was going to sleep on the sofa, but I guess I can stay with you tonight, it is a big bed, and the sofa isn't very comfy" I guess I spoke again without meaning to. Oh well. At least now John will be here. He's all the way on the other side of the bed but still, he's here.

"Joooooooohn I loooooove you! I really, really do! You're so pretty, you're like a pretty thing!" I have no idea why I said that. Oh well, at least John will probably blame it on my intoxicated state. That's for me to worry about tomorrow.

"Alright Sherlock, tell you what, if tomorrow you still love me and think I'm pretty, we'll talk, alright? Until then, night night, Sherlock."

"Night, night John."

What Sherlock Holmes Did While He Was Drunk- By John Watson.

8:00- You somehow manage to convince me to take part in this experiment.

8:30- You drink a ridiculous amount of alcohol. I'm not cleaning up the puke, Sherlock.

9:00- You claim that you are 'Shakira' and that I must listen to your hips, as they do not lie.

9:30- You started crying because our gold fish died. We don't have a gold fish, Sherlock.

10:00- You begged me to take you to singing school, so you can be a world famous pop star.

10:30- You asked me to dye your hair purple. You're lucky I'm a nice person.

11:30- You told me all about the 2008 Christmas Party. Let's never mention it again.

12:00- You recited the whole of the Latin alphabet. I even Google-d it. You were totally correct.

12:30- You told me a full descriptive detail of your sexual history- again, we'll never mention that.

1:00- You begged me to take you to Vegas so you can marry your skull.

1:30- Now you want to marry Mrs Hudson. And no, Sherlock, I won't be your flower girl.

2:00- I've put you to bed. You said some stuff but we'll talk about that tomorrow.