ROCK, KEEP ME ON THE GROUND
The clock ticked until the last seconds of the minute before the bell rang. Mr. McLeary, one of Rosewood High's strictest teachers, shut the door with a slam, earning silence from the entire classroom. He turned his back to the group to write the objective for today on the large black board behind him, whilst also talking to the students.
"Everyone is to be in a seat, phones off and put away, or they can meet my locked desk drawer."
As he was setting down his stump of chalk, there was a mad shuffle of students rushing to their assigned desks, shoving phones into backpacks.
"Open textbooks to chapter 8, section 8.5, and find Cramer's Rule on page 394." he drawled out.
His statement was met with many groans.
"Read the first paragraph, then I will have someone volunteer work the exercises I have gladly wrote on the board." he smiled that sick smile, and pulled out his chair from his desk to take a seat. The big hand passed by a couple times on the clock before McLeary told them to set their textbooks down.
He took a glance at his own book, asking the question,
"Now, who can tell me how Cramer would apply his rule to ordinary differential equations?"
His eyes never left the book, but he could tell most of the class was not doing too well with any concept of Cramer's Rule, let alone the basic understanding in statistics.
"Miss Hastings, I can tell you are the only one in the room who can explain. Would you do the honors?"
Some students snickered, and Noel Kahn's voice rang out.
"Mr. McLeary? Spencer isn't here."
He looked up in disbelief, for Spencer Hastings was not one to miss class, ever. She had accomplished perfect attendance all the way from her young days at Rosewood Day, the elementary school. No one missed her today though. Unfortunately, she had no one to call a real 'friend'. Some people before had tried to strike up a conversation with her, but later realized Spencer was never one to stick around and chat, she was always scuttering to her next class, or gathering more books from her locker than any one owned in school. Most kids made fun of her for that, but in reality they were just making fun of her for being smart, and actually trying in class, rather than the wasted kids who spent their time drooling in the back row throughout the whole semester.
Suddenly an antsy rapping on the door broke out. One of the teenage boys who sat nearby got up to open the door abruptly, causing said student to stumble into the room, dropping her supplies that were locked in her arms. Laughter broke out, and Noel Kahn's voice was heard once more.
"Dang Hastings, did someone stay up too late partying?" he chuckled cynically.
The glasses that were knocked off of Spencer's face were found shortly, and she put them on quickly, trying to mask the tears that started to fall. She gathered all of her belongings and headed over to Mr. McLeary's desk.
"Do you have a tardy pass?"
"Um... no, but I was hoping I could take my assignments and go." Spencer said a little uncertainly.
"As in leave the school? I'm sorry Ms. Hastings but this isn't a drive thru." His mouth formed a taut thin line.
"But I need to leave." Spencer sniffled, but spoke with persistency.
"Have your parents given you permission to leave on school?"
Spencer thought about what to say, brushed the moisture from her cheeks, and answered quietly.
"No, not really anymore."
Mr. McLeary scrunched his eyebrows together, clearly getting frustrated.
"Just take a seat Spencer. You may join Noel in detention this afternoon, four o'clock sharp."
"Mr. McLeary, I'm not quite sure what I have done." Noel spoke.
"Would you care for another, Mr. Kahn?"
Spencer walked heavily to her desk, head hung low.
"No sir." Noel mumbled, and slumped down into his chair.
Her desk was on the far left of the room, right next to the window. But it was in the front row. It had to be in the front row. She is called a 'teacher's pet', not because she kisses up, but all the teachers love her. Well, almost. It would be all of them if the one sitting in front of her had a heart to have any emotion. But yes, straight-A student for as long as anyone could remember. Some people used to gossip that if Spencer brought home a grade that was less than a high A, her parents would punish her. But none of that was true. To be honest, Spencer's parents were never around. And when they were, their thumbs were glued to their Blackberries, and they didn't pay much attention to their youngest daughter. That's Spencer's reason why she really strives for the good grade. Maybe if she excels enough, they might notice her and actually be proud of her. Or was it that if they treat her like this now, who knows what they'll do if she brought home a bad grade?
But, being late to class and getting assigned a detention, all in five minutes? That was unheard of. Spencer was sure that she was going to be the 'hot' news of the morning.
As class went on, Toby Cavanaugh noticed one thing, the girl in the row before him, wasn't doing anything. Mr. McLeary gave them another task, and Spencer sat there, book unopened. The only thing that he did see though was the quick movements of her shoulders going up and down. He heard quiet sniffling, and realized Spencer was crying. Toby understood. She's NEVER gotten in trouble, and hopefully it wasn't because the humiliation Noel gave her. I mean she gets teased everyday. It isn't fair to her, but she should be used to it by now, right? He felt bad for her, so he ripped a piece of paper out of his notebook and scrawled,
Hey S,detentions not that bad. I practically live there. -T
Toby drew a sympathetic smiley face, and folded it up. He got up to 'sharpen his pencil', and on the way back, he casually slipped the note onto her desk. In the so-silent-you-can-hear-a-pin-drop classroom, he could tell she was opening it. Spencer didn't do anything for a few seconds until she turned around, glaring at him. She still had unwiped tears in her eyes, and paired with her glasses, her big brown doe-eyes were magnified. He tried his best to impersonate the face he drew, but it was no use. She pushed herself out of the desk, muttering "Jerk." as she stormed out of the room, slamming the door shut. The class was in total awe, and then guided their eyes, all to Toby.
Mr. McLeary sighed and spoke up,
"Teenage girls. What can you do?" he joked. "Toby, go fetch her before she leaves the building."
Feeling a little ashamed that he made her so upset, he got up and walked to the door, and outside. Scanning his view of the school hallway, the smell of floor cleaner heavy on his tongue, he saw that Spencer was nowhere in sight. He looked down to see shreds of paper leading to the stairwell. The note he gave her.
She probably ripped it up out of anger, which was unknowing to anyone. He just didn't understand. Spencer was always the sweet, little innocent girl. The sweet, little innocent girl that apparently, everyone had a problem with.
Toby made his way to the staircase leading to the first floor, and the sound of Spencer crying picked up again, although this time it didn't sound as if she was trying to hide it. She was full-out sobbing. Based on her disheveled hair, and dressed in a simple tank, with a baggy gray cardigan and jeans, rather than her usual, J. Crew prep look, she looked a little miserable. He walked slowly down the steps, avoiding making any sound to alert her of his presence. So he took a seat next to her, and she would've gotten up and left, but just couldn't find the strength.
"Spencer," Toby spoke. "Please tell me what's going on."
"Wouldn't you like to know?" She growled, not lifting her head from her hands.
"Is it Noel? If he's bothering you, I can talk to him."
"Please, like you haven't been on the sidelines cheering him on. And that kind of stuff doesn't upset me anymore." Spencer finally sat up a little, but she kept her knees close to her, and rested her chin on them.
"It should."
"Great, so you want me to be upset and humiliated." Scrunching her face up into a scowl, Toby could've sworn he was about to get hit or something.
"No! No, I mean that you shouldn't have to be used to this. No one needs to make fun of you because you're smart."
"Coming from you makes it seem so heartfelt."
He sighed gently, and thought about what he should say before Spencer would figure out a way to turn it around and change what he meant again.
Okay, he might've laughed at his friend's jokes about her, or listened to what the superior clique of Allison's girls had to say, but he doesn't remember a time he went out directly after her, like calling her names, or making fun of her. He had his pretenses, but Toby really wanted to try and fix things with her.
"First grade, in math class. The teacher just explained multiplication, and at the end of class you asked for a worksheet on division for homework. I didn't even know that division existed, or that some one would actually want homework."
"Toby-"
"Sixth grade. We had to choose a book, and give a written report. I don't remember mine, it was something stupid probably, but you walked up to the room, and gave an oral exam on The Great Gatsby. Mrs. Hendrix was surprised that you read it, understood all of what Fitzgerald wrote, the metaphors, the meaning of the green light, everything."
Spencer was looking at her boots, and Toby swore she had a tiny smile on her face so he continued.
"Later on in the year I saw you reading The Catcher in the Rye. I asked you what it was about and you went full out, started talking about how everyone is a phony."
Spencer laughed out loud at this, and Toby joined in, chuckling.
"You know, two years ago I was in the library, and I saw it. It made me think of that day, so I picked it up and read it all, that afternoon. God, it's my favorite book, I've read it at least five times since then."
"Yeah? Beat mine. I've read it at least eight times." She said giggling.
He smiled. "You're definitely something special."
"Special? I think you are confusing me with someone who has a life." She scoffed.
"Tell that to me in ten years when you own a huge successful law firm or you have a PhD, and like cure cancer forever."
Spencer was smiling, but her entire face dropped. She broke down almost instantly. Like the weight of the world that was on her shoulders gained an extra thousand pounds. It's like he wasn't even there, though. Early on when the kids only began to bully her, she would always run off and cry. Nobody ever saw her shed tears, and Toby thought she wanted to keep it that way. But now she looked helpless, lost, and maybe just lonely.
Her hands kept furiously wiping her eyes, and she was wheezing, breathing so fast, Toby thought she was about to pass out. And seeing her like this, he had no idea what to do.
" Shoot." He thought. "And to think I was getting on her good side."
He tried to remember to his younger years, when he used to cry like this. Toby put his hand on the middle of her back and rubbed in small circles, like his mother did to him.
"Please go away, Toby." Spencer whispered.
"I promised Mr.-"
"GO AWAY!" she yelled. Toby was taken back a little bit. He didn't realize Spencer had such power in her. Dropping his hands, he stood up and walked up to the flat space of the stairwell. He glanced back down at her, slowly retreating to the position she was in before he found her in the first place. God, she just looked so, broken. His heart broke with every second he stood there waiting for his mind to make a decision whether or not he should do what she told him or follow his gut. "Gut it is." he thought, and walked back down to her again. Toby kneeled in front of her, and took her small wrists into his larger ones. Prying them away from her face, he realized she wasn't struggling against him.
"Toby I said to-"
"I know what you said. But I'm not leaving until you tell me what is going on. I swear to you that I'm not going anywhere. "
Spencer lifted her head, red puffy eyes and all, and sighed before answering,
"My, um... my mom passed away."
Toby dropped her wrists and slowly took a seat next to Spencer. The silence was deafening in their ears as they sat there, Spencer, letting a few more tears fall.
He knew exactly what she was feeling, yet no idea how to comfort her.
"Is it okay for me to ask how she died?" whispering softly.
"She died from a late diagnosis of lung cancer." Spencer muttered.
"I'm so sorry. I really am," He hesitated before asking, "Are you okay?"
"What do you think? My mom just died, and I'm at school trying to do work to distract myself from the fact that she isn't in my life anymore! So, no. I'm not okay. And you can't tell me that it will be either, because you don't know what its like." she snapped.
"Did you get to say goodbye to her?" Toby replied, a little angry.
"What? Yeah, I did. She died right next to me!"
"Well some people aren't as lucky, Spencer. Some people don't get to say goodbye. There are people whose last memory of their moms were a phone call that asked to pick up her stupid, drunk son from a party. Here's the surprise Spencer, she never does." It was Toby's turn to tear up, and she could feel the emotion and hurt in his voice. "And that stupid, drunk boy has to wait until morning to hear that his mom died in a car accident. I didn't get to say goodbye."
Toby wiped his eyes and diverted them to his sneakers. Spencer remembered that one day in school a couple years back. The PA system asked everyone to keep Toby and his family in their thoughts while they overcome the loss of his mother, Marion.
"I'm so sorry Toby. I forgot" she said quietly.
"Never mind that." He sniffled. "How are you and your family holding up?"
"Well if my dad was around without a glass in his hand I would be able to answer you. It's like I don't even recognize him anymore, not that we were close to begin with. I wasn't with my mom either, but when they started her treatments, I tried to redo what we had. I think that's what I feel the worst about."
"Not everybody has good relationships with their parents. We can relate I guess."
Spencer smirked before adding,
"I used to think my nanny, Grace, and our landscaper, Daniel, were my real parents because I spent more time with them then my mom and dad."
"Wow, that's tough." Pausing to listen carefully. "Do you hear that? It sounds like someone's coming. Maybe we should get out of here."
"I'm sorry Toby, but I really don't want to go back to class." she said, standing up.
"You don't want to go to class? What has the world gone to?" he joked.
Nudging him in the arm, Toby chuckled.
"Well I kind of don't want to either. Do you want to leave?"
"You want me to skip school? What if we get caught?"
Andrew smiled coyly at her.
"That's redundant, but we won't. Come on. Let's get out of here." He stood up and extended his hand out to Spencer before pulling her up.
They laughed as they sprinted out of the hallway and into the student parking lot where Toby's gold 67' Chevrolet pickup sat waiting for them. Once inside and out of breath, Toby leaned over and whispered,
"It will get better. Trust me."
"Let's hope so."
Spencer was looking feverishly out the window, worried an administrator or someone would catch them, when Toby grabbed her hand. Her breath hitched out of surprise, and glanced over to Toby, who looked intently into her eyes.
"Spencer will you do me a favor?"
"Um, ok I guess."
"Let me be there for you." Her face scrunched up, confused. "At your mother's funeral."
"Okay."
Her face warmed as she realized someone cared enough to care, really. Spencer was ecstatic. . When Toby thought he was just giving a pretty girl some closure, he was giving her a light at the end of her tunnel, a reason to keep going, striving to be okay through tough times. When Spencer though she finally found a friend, she really found a shoulder to lean on. A rock to keep her grounded. Her rock.