Snickers/GSR Angst/Romance

"I took away the one person she loved and now she's doing the same to me."

As soon as I heard those words I knew it was over. He loved her as well and there was nothing I could do about as well as there was nothing I could do to stop her loving him, if and when we found her I knew he would be there by her side and when she woke she would run into his arms. He would be her life, no room for anyone else she would have no time in her life for friends and no hope for me.

I loved being with Sara, she was my world every second was like a dream those flirty banters we would share and spending hours after work talking about everything. I told her so much about me as she did I, she understood me and I knew that this was a privalige and gift that only the truly lucky people could get especially from a girl like Sara.

We would go on trips to the beach and even to meet my parents once, they loved her even if she was just a friend but even me and Sara had a secret, a bad patch. We were always fighting in secret after getting drunk. It was always when she was pining over Grissom spending every moment thinking what would it be like in his arms, to be able to see his face every night and when you woke. I know because I had the same thoughts about her.

I knew if I told her she would just say that "It couldn't happen between us, we both know that, we're so close and your my bestest friend I don't want to ruin that." I knew that if it didn't work out between us things would get ruined and I knew that so trying to be understanding, even if I didn't like it, I agreed. I couldn't believe that she would even think of us breaking up before thinking of how perfect we could be, about what it would be like dating and being with each other in a better way. It broke my heart. My dreams of the future, us having kids, getting old while watching our grandchildren grow up mentally shattered.

I watched her retreating figure head towards the inevitables office thinking about what it would be like if things were different, if she took a moment to think about the good things that could happen between us, how great things could be but not even a second look.

The funny thing was our secret always pushed her towards Grissom and by turning her down led her back to me pissed in more ways the one. She would turn up at my apartment angry and drunk, she would turn to leave but I wouldn't let her leave not in this state. I grab her arm and pull her into my apartment telling her to sit. I know it's going to be a long night so I grab a beer and her a glass of water and sit down next to her. We sit in silence until I get up and play some soft rock music which I have ready for her as this becomes a recurrance. She speaks softly "Sorry again." I smile then chuckle. "I live for this." I sit back down again after get a pack of beers and refilling her glass with water. She leans for one of my beers but I stop her saying, "If your going to be here i'm going to be drunk as well and since you got a head start let me catch up. So stick to water." After drinking the whole pack so we're as drunk as each other she begins to rant and as much as I try the only thing that would shut her up would be innapropriate and would only anger her more but I have no choice. I grab her face and kiss her, things led to my bedroom before my mind could process what was really happening but I don't choose to stop it.

And the same thing always happens, I wake up first remembering every detail as soon as the light hits my eyes, I get out of bed quickly and quietly picking up our clothes. I get dressed and dress her. I make breakfast and coffee ready for her awakening. She comes and sits down next to me, she joins in eating and drinking coffee with me. "I passed out after coming over drunk again didn't I?" While nodding I answer. "Yes." I lied but its better than her knowing the truth and she apoligises profucivly but she shouldn't have to apoligise.

That isn't even the main reason why we would argue or why things between us changed, one night when she came round she wasn't as drunk as usuall, she woke up first and remembered everything and me the idiot said all the wrong things that make her suspect that this wasn't the first time this happened. She couldn't bear to in the same room as me so she left and we didn't talk for weeks.

I didn't know what to do but I knew one thing I love her, she ment everything to me and I had to tell her which I did and she told me she loved me but she couldn't be with me, it wasn't right. One night Grissom turned her down for the last time, she came to me this time not drunk but happy. I opened the door and she walked in smiling. "Why so happy?" I say with more bitterness than I mean to use, she turns to look at me and says. "I've moved on from Grissom and realised who I truly love and need." "Yeah who's that?" I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding and waited for an answer. "You. I didn't realise how much I needed you. I love you." I perk up. "Are you sure?" She steps closer, her lips inches from mine. "Hell yes!" She kissed me sneaking her arms around my neck pulling me closer to her. That night we made love and made me the happiest man on earth.

I loved being with Sara, we dated like forever and we made each other happy. After a few months she moved in with me and we were happy then she was kidnapped by Natalie. And things turned on me, I was lost and confused. I remember when I found her, she looked so fragile and broke, they took her on the helicopter and Grissom went with her. I didn't know why I was so jealous he only took her took hospital, he was there when she woke up and was there with her at the hospital. I went to the hospital, he was just leaving thank god!

He nodded to me and left. I walked in, Sara was talking to the doctor so I sat down next to her. "Your both doing fine, Sara." She nodded her head, "Thanks." I think i'm confused or my hearing is totally messed up, did she say "your both doing fine,"? When the doctor left she looked at me and saw the confused look on my face, she spoke ready to explain. "Im pregnant, im sorry you had to find out like this but I was going to tell you but all this happen--" I cut her off with my finger to her lips then kissed her softly. "Its ok, im happy and I know it's not your fault, ok?" She nodded letting a tear slip, I wipe it away with my thumb then kiss her again. "So you are happy?" "Of course, your ok and im gonna be a dad why wouldn't be happy?" She looked away. "There's something else isn't there?" "Im getting together with Grissom." I stood up, pissed. "What?! You've just told me your pregnant with my child then your getting together with Grissom?! I can't believe this, look I gotta go." I left and never spoke to her again. I heard everyone in the lab talking about them together, how they spoke to Ecklie like it was nothing, about her getting moved to days and then I heard that she left leaving her resignation with Judy the receptionist. As soon as I got off shift I rushed over to her place, she wasn't there so I sped to the airport. I got there just in time, she was sat drinking a coffee, I ran to her. "Sara!" I took a seat opposite her. "What are you doing?" She looked at me wierdly. "Is it not that obvious, I'm leaving." "But you can't, I need you and I want to be there for my baby. I love you." "I love you too but I can't keep doing this job and I can't be here, i've been running my whole life with demons and ghosts right behind me and if I stay here I will self destruct. Im sorry." "Please I need you. I will help you through and If you don't stay I will quit and come with you." "You can't do that." We were silent for a moment. "I will stay if you promise me something." "What? Anything." I took her hand and looked deep into her eyes. "Promise me that you will never hurt me, and never lie to me, Promise me that you won't tell anyone im staying here least of all Grissom." "I promise, but if Grissom's not gonna know your here where are you going to work?" She finished her coffee. "We'll work it out, lets go home." I picked up her bag and we walked out hand in hand.

We are now happy together, a perfect little family with my little girl Summer. We are in love, it might be a secret but its still perfect in my eyes and nobody can tell me otherwise or ruin this not even Grissom.