AUTHOR'S NOTE: Um, okay, how to explain this fic to you... See I was in this really silly mood a couple of weeks ago and felt like blowing off some creative steam. For those of you who know my mammoth story "Fated" I'd been going hard and heavy in that fic for some time. I was looking for a bit of fun and an outlet for some humour which I haven't been able to use in my other fics lately and viola – this fic was born.
At "Forbidden Love" where more of mine and so many other simply brilliant EJami fics are being stored up we are currently running a fic challenge for the writers to write a story about how they see the Sydnapping reveal going down. Now I've written a story for that which I will post here once the competition is over but this imagining also came to mind but ended up being too long for the challenge. So instead I posted it and myself and my readers had a jolly old time together as I posted it over the week.
The game was who was going to be which characters which will make sense to you when you start reading it. Now as I have included some real life people in this fic I would just like to make it very clear that this is just me being silly and in no way necessarily reflects my actual opinion on some matters... so please don't sue me. It's really not worth your time because I have no money, promise. LOL This fic takes a couple of jabs at certain things that if you're not a hard core follower of Days you might not quite get. I think the important thing for you to know to make sense of this story is that Ken Corday is the Executive Producer of Days and recently gave an interview that made a lot of EJami fans very unhappy as is his habit. He's a Safe fan unfortunately which kind of sucks but then so does that pairing so it works out nicely. LOL You'll need to know that for this story, trust me.
So after all that waffle I suppose I'll just let you read it and make up your own mind. This fic is less than 20K long so not too much to handle and I'll update regularly, promise. Hope you have as much fun with it as I did and just a warning... it is EXTREMELY wacky and fanciful.
Don't say I didn't warn you. ;)
If I Only Had...
Chapter ONE
"What did you say?"
Sami's hoarsely asked question hung between the two men as she stared at them both with wide eyed horror.
"Samantha," said EJ, looking both guilty and stricken, "How long have you been standing there?"
"Long enough to hear you say that you were the one who took Sydney," said Sami, angry tears forming in her eyes.
She didn't want this to be true, couldn't bear it to be true but could see that it was by the guilty and ashamed look on EJ's face. Sami had come downstairs for a glass of water but after overhearing EJ and his father talking she'd gotten a whole lot more.
"You bastard!" Sami hissed at him, her heart filling up with hatred for him.
Sami turned and ran from the DiMera mansion living room, intent on getting her children and leaving this place and EJ for good. A white hot rage burned through her that she'd never known before as she bolted from the room.
"SAMANTHA!" EJ called out urgently but that only made Sami run faster.
She was at the foot of the marble stair case starting to run up it when her foot slipped out from under her. It happened too fast for Sami to save herself and she began to fall. The last thing she knew was her head connecting painfully with the unforgiving marble step and then there was only blackness.
oooOOOOooo
The pain in Sami's head was the first thing she noticed as she groggily blinked her eyes open. The next thing was that she was lying in a field of brilliant green and lush looking grass and yet she still didn't feel that comfortable. She propped herself up on her elbows and looked around in confusion at the kaleidoscope of colours. Sami blinked and blinked again at the strangely familiar scene. The last thing she remembered was screaming at EJ and falling and now she wasn't sure where she was.
"Hello," said a bright voice from above her.
Sami looked over at the cornfield on the other side of the patch of grass and her eyes nearly fell out of her head at what she saw. It was a scarecrow up on a pole, a talking scarecrow and more than that, a scarecrow that Sami actually knew.
"St-stephanie?" she stammered in disbelief, "Is that you?"
The usually attractively dressed young woman was wearing misshapened oversized pants and chequered shirt with bright yellow suspenders holding them up. On her head was a dilapidated straw hat whilst more straw stuck out from her shirt, pants and of course her head.
"That's my name," she nodded excitedly, "Stephanie the Scarecrow – why how did you know that stranger?"
"It's me Stephanie – Sami," said Sami unevenly, "I'm your cousin."
"What's a cousin?" asked Stephanie Scarecrow brightly.
"Am I dead?" asked Sami, wrinkling up her nose in concern at that thought.
"You don't look dead," said Stephanie easily, "But then I'm not too clever so you probably shouldn't ask those things of little old me."
"Okay I'm hallucinating," declared Sami firmly, still propped up on her elbows on the grass, "That's what this is; I'm just having some kind of very vivid, crazy dream."
She looked around herself and tried to make this sound less weird then it actually was.
"And I'm in Oz," Sami said slowly, "I'm in Oz and I'm very uncomfortable-"
Sami looked down at her gingham blue dress and put her hand to her head to feel the pigtails her hair was tied into.
"And I'm dressed like the Swiss Miss," she said flatly, "Great, just great."
"I don't know what Swish Mist is but I think I can guess why you're uncomfortable," volunteered the seemingly perennially sunny Stephanie the Scarecrow, "You landed on the Wicked Wizard of the East when you fell from the sky just now."
"I did what?" asked Sami and then her eyes widened as the words set in, "Oh my god!"
She scrambled to her feet, her hands going to cover her mouth at the sight that met her eyes.
"Rafe!" she said in horror.
Rafe was pressed into the ground, motionless as the impact with Sami had seemed to drive him in so he was almost flat with the green grass. He wore all black including a cape and a vaguely unflattering hat which may have looked more impressive before Sami swan dived on top of it.
"Oh no!" Sami gasped, dropping to her knees, "Don't be dead, please don't be dead!"
"Maybe he's not," offered up Stephanie from her perch, ever helpful.
"He's just lying there not moving and has no facial expression whatsoever," Sami bit out in frustration as she glared back at Stephanie, "What else could he be?"
"You never met the guy did you," said Stefanie knowingly, "That was pretty much him alive – his lips only moved to mumble."
"Rafe didn't-doesn't mumble!" Sami leapt to his defence.
"Well he's not now no," agreed Stefanie readily enough.
Sami was about to go into full blown panic mode when she realised something.
"This is just a dream," she reminded herself shakily, "This isn't happening, Rafe isn't dead."
Sami stood up then on unsteady legs.
"Alright I've had enough now," she said, "I want to go home."
"Well if you want to go home you need to go and see the Big Wizard," said Stephanie knowingly, "He's the one to ask those kinds of things of. I'd love to go and see the Big Wizard myself."
She gave a dramatic sigh then and looked very sad.
"I really need a brain but I can't go anywhere stuck up here on this pole like this," she said with another sigh.
Sami cocked her head and walked over to where Stephanie the Scarecrow was on top of the pole and looked her up and down, taking in the way her arms were stretched out as far as they could go either side of her.
"You're hanging onto the pole," Sami informed her.
"I know," said Stephanie, looking at her seriously.
Sami pulled a bit of a face but continued on.
"If you let go of the poles with your hand then you wouldn't be stuck there," Sami pointed out calmly.
Stephanie looked at her in wide eyed amazement at that observation. She looked to her right and then to her left, slowly letting go of the pole with her hands. Stephanie raised them up and then took one step away from the pole and then another.
"I'm free!" she exclaimed in amazement before beaming at Sami and grabbing her into a tight hug, "Oh thank you, thank you, thank you!"
"How long were you up there for?" asked Sami, hesitantly returning the hug.
"I don't know," said Stephanie thoughtfully, "A couple of years maybe."
"Wow," said Sami, nodding slowly, "You really need that brain don't you?"
"Yes," said Stephanie sadly, "I really do."
"Well then I guess it is off to see the Big Wizard then," said Sami with a sigh, "So I can get out of this nightmare and get back to kicking EJ's ass."
"What's an EJ?" asked Stephanie with interest.
"It is a cruel, disgusting creature that I'm going to vanquish from my life and the life of my kids forever and ever," said Sami dourly.
"Oh," said Stephanie, looking suddenly afraid, "He sounds scary."
"He is," said Sami with a scowl, "But I'm scarier."
"You can get a cream for that," said Stephanie seriously.
"What?" asked Sami, looking at her askew.
"For being hairier," she said intently, "You can get a cream to bleach them right off."
"No not hairier – [i]scarier[/i]," said Sami in annoyance.
"Sorry," said Stephanie as she pulled straw from her ears, "I've got straw in my ears."
"So I see," said Sami flatly.
Just then a huge puff of orange smoke filled the area and a man appeared in a black cape similar to Rafe's and a huge black witch's hat. He had a big black wand and a crazy look in his eyes. Sami stared at the unbelievable sight and prayed she was going to wake up soon.