: I N S O M N I A :
Tobi was a good boy.
Why was Tobi a good boy you ask?
Because Tobi was almost always happy.
Why was Tobi almost always happy?
Because Tobi got a good nights sleep.
And so, there lay Tobi. Snug as a bug in a rug. Curled up like a tabby cat in front of the fire, softly purring after a bowl of milk. But Tobi wasn't a fat tabby cat... Cats gave Tobi eeevil looks when they thought Tobi wasn't looking. But you see, Tobi was smart. Smart as a smart ass with smarty-pants and a humungous tube of smarties. Ok... maybe not, seeing as Tobi doesn't own intelligent underwear. Tobi finds that creepy.
But yes, Tobi got good sleep, with good dreams and good snuggliness.
Other members of the organisation Akatsuki,
DID NOT.
Tobi thought they were a bit silly really. Working too hard with no time to recuperate. Rest made Tobi fresh for the day, and filled him with glorious Tobi-ness! Ah, but if Tobi was awake as long as those other members with their non-sleep diet-- Tobi means regime. Rehhh-shueeeeme. Bleugh. Tobi doesn't like spelling. Too complicated and B-O-R-I-N-G. Tobi made a funny noise that people do in their sleep as he turned over, snuggling into his pillow and pulling his blanket round him.
But Tobi would find it rather scary if the other members became Tobi-like. Itachi and Sasori... Oooooh CREEPY... Tobi's not going to think of such scary things anymore. No no no. Because if Tobi has bad dreams he won't be as Tobi-ish, and the hideout will be... boring. SHHH! Tobi didn't say that!
But maybe if Tobi did a trial with one member he--
!
Tobi's eyes opened as Tobi had a brilliant idea! A Tobi-ful idea, full of Tobi-ness that is so undeniably Tobi-like that Tobi shall be his brilliant Tobi self!
Hee-hee! Tobi is so Tobi-ish!
So Tobi got up, tiptoeing in his socks careful not to make a sound. For Tobi's Tobi-ful idea, full of Tobi-ness that is so undeniably Tobi-like that Tobi shall be his brilliant Tobi self!, is a very Tobi-like thing to do. So Tobi must be careful not to ruin his Tobi-ful plan!
Sssneak... Sssneak... Sssneak... CCCRREEAAKK!!
CRAP!!
With Tobi's smart Tobi-ful thinking. Tobi quickly hid behind a... Tobi thinks it's a plant? Anyway, Tobi hides behind it! And Hidan doesn't see Tobi! For Tobi is brilliant and filled with Tobi-ness!
Tobi sneakily peeked round the plant to see Hidan running off in a very un-Tobi-like way. When the leaves rustled.
OH HOLY MOTHER OF TOBI! ZETSU'S PLANTY THINGY IS ALIIIIVVVEE!!
So Tobi runs very quickly, in a Tobi-like way unlike Hidan. With Tobi squeaks along the way. With a smart Tobi-like slide, Tobi hides behind the corner and the plant abandons its attempts to eat him!!
Tobi breathed a sigh of relief. Alas if he was not as Tobi-ful, he would have been plant food.
"Tobi what're you doing outside my room at four in the morning?" an annoyed voice whispered in Tobi's ear.
"AYAAAAAA!!" Tobi screamed, in a Tobi-ish way. Yami-chan had snuck up behind Tobi! And scared the living Tobi-ness out of him.
YES TOBI'S PANTS WERE DRY!!
"Yami-chan startled Tobi!" Tobi cried Tobi-ly. Yami-chan was hanging from the ceiling, the soles of her feet glued to it. Her silver hair hung below her, and her violety-lilacy eyes looked at Tobi suspiciously.
Yami-chan didn't sleep. Yami-chan was never one to say she was tired. Tobi is certain Yami-chan is a vampire! She's pale and hangs upside down! She hates the sun! She has pretty eyes! She doesn't sleep! Well, Tobi thinks she may be a ghost too! Her Kekkei Genkai lets her go through walls! Tobi is therefore with the upmost Tobi-ness--
"Tobi... You don't have your mask?"
"Ehh? What's Yami-chan talking about? Tobi always has his-- YOUWCH! MY EYE!" Tobi howled, having successfully poked himself in the eye. No mask to stop him!
SHIT! TOBI'S TOBI-MASK! WHEREZZIT GONE??
Ah-ha! Tobi has his blanky instead of his Tobi-Mask. Tobi SO knew that! Double AH-HA! TOBI'S PLAN!!
"Would Yami-chan do something for Tobi?" Tobi asked shyly, putting on Tobi's best Tobi-eyes.
"What." Yami-chan agreed.
Glad Yami-chan had agreed to Tobi's plan, Tobi grabbed her wrist and pulled her along.
"T--TOBI!" Yami-chan cried.
Tobi and Yami-chan raced past the evil un-Tobi-like plant outside Zetsu's door and rushed into a room. Tobi pulled the blanket over Yami-chan as Tobi snuggled into Tobi's pillow, hugging her tight.
"Night Night Yami-chan. Sweet-dreams. Love you!"
"Ehh--You what?"
But Tobi had already fallen back into Tobi-land, where Tobi had Tobi-ful Tobi-ish dreams of Tobi-ness. As luck would have it that was the best night's sleep Tobi had ever had and Yami-chan actually DID sleep!
This new Tobi-ish sleeping regime worked Tobi-ly. Over the next few weeks, Tobi noticed an increase in Tobi-ness in Yami-chan. Which Tobi thought was a good thing, because Tobi thought Yami chan was lovely.
TOBI IS NOT BLUSHIIINNNGGG! NO! NO! NO!
Tobi's Tobi-ful idea, full of Tobi-ness that is so undeniably Tobi-like that Tobi shall be his brilliant Tobi self! SUCCESS.