Disclaimer: I don't own Castle. Just what they sell me.
He opened his eyes and saw her next to him. A part of him was afraid of her leaving before he woke up. But she was there. He held his head with his hand, placing his elbow on the pillow, which allowed him to look over her shoulder and realize that he was sill embracing her, with his arm around her waist and hands intertwined.
'I wouldn't mind if this lasted forever' he thought.
Like if she could read his mind, she turned around so that their faces were just a few inches away from each other's.
''Good morning'' he said.
Then she leaned in and gave him a quick kiss. ''Good morning''.
''I know you're a very busy woman but, could you stay here for a while?''
Her lips draw a smile and said ''Don't worry, I have the whole morning''.
''The whole morning? You? How's that?''
She took a breath before answering ''You'll see... Yesterday...'' Her eyes were flying around the room ''I quit''.
''Wh... What? You did what?!''
''Mmm... I resigned''.
She leaned in again and gave him another kiss but she didn't get the reaction on him that she expected and he pulled her back although she was trying to do her best to distract him.
''Why did you do such a thing?'' He asked with wide eyes.
It took her a while to answer since she was trying to get the right words. ''I was hanging off a roof, just about to fall... And then I heard your voice calling my name, telling me to resist, to hang on... And I realized'' He was looking at her with hungry eyes, looking for more information ''That you were right. That it wasn't worth it to keep raking on my mother's murder, to bring down the one who shot me because I should appreciate my life, I should give thanks that I'm still alive... And I'm still alive thanks to you''.
''Oh, no. Oh no! Kate, I never wanted you to do that. I mean, when I talked to you... God! I thought it would be good for you to put it away but not definitely...''
''Rick.''
''I never wanted you to decide between your mother or me...''
''Cas...''
''No way, no.''
Then she found out that he could never stop so she leaned in again for third time and kissed him, put her hand between his hair and pressed her lips against his. ''Stop it'' she said, ''I know. I know you had a good intention.'' He looked at her and got caught by her smile ''and I wouldn't be here if I didn't know that.''.
That time it was him the one who leant in to hug her. When they pulled back, he said:
''I'm sorry.''
''Stop.''
He placed his hand on her side, where her scar from surgery mixed with bruises was and started caressing it with the tips of his fingers. She looked at his hand and then at him to see something she had never seen in him before.
''Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if I had never opened that file''.
That was it. Pain mixed with regret.
''Look Rick, what happened last night was possible because you opened that folder. It made us what we are now. Partners. In every sense of the word. Always. Last night was perfect and I would love to have more nights like that if you allow me to''.
A smile drew on his face and said ''Permission granted'' but his hand was still describing circles around her scar, he shook his head, swallowed and the bright in his eyes disappeared as he said: ''These scars... You shouldn't have them on you. You don't deserve to have them on you'' he looked at her eyes ''they should be on me.''.
''No way'' she replied, ''I prefer having them on me than having to watch them on you. If...''
He put a finger on her lips to stop her from talking and brought her nearer him. Just a few inches away from each other, he took the word: ''They really should be on me. To remind me not to be a self-centred, a jackass, an immature. To listen to people, to you and not to hurt you.''.
She looked at him in his eyes to find he was really being honest.
''Castle, stop saying these things. You're none of that anymore''
''I thought you were always bringing peace to the victim's family but you couldn't find your own. I thought you deserved it. And I thought I could bring it'' he sighed and when she tried to say something, he continued ''I'm not trying to excuse myself because I could have followed you to get my inspiration without moving the past.''.
''Yes, I bet some of that Nikki Heat scenes are not inspired on that file'' She said grinning.
They looked at each other and burst laughing.
''Yes, that scenes were a way to fantasize about how it would be to kiss you, to touch you, to hug you. To want you. And you wanting me back. A way to dream of your touch, your smell, your taste.''.
She looked at him. ''You know?''
''Hmm...?''
''You won't have to dream about it anymore.'' and she went through the distance that separated their naked bodies while he was searching for her mouth. It could have easily grown into something else as they were looking for each other under the sheets. But he stopped himself.
''So...''
''So what?'' she asked.
''For how long have you been wanting me? I can't take off my mind what you said last night. I know it is hard for you to talk about your feelings and you don't have to if you don't want to but I would like to know.''.
She took a pause before saying ''It's ok. You'll see. I have always liked you. From the very moment we met. I knew you liked me but I didn't give in to that sexual tension that we had because you and I would've had a one night stand and I don't like that.''
''And I knew you weren't like that from the moment you said 'You've no idea' and left me at the alley looking at you like a fool''
''But you pressed on. And I think it is safe to say I have always wanted you in a physical way. And even I had my doubts, I didn't realize or didn't want to until I had that dream.''.
''What dream?'' He asked frowning at her.
She bit her lover lip ''It was after the shooting and after I woke up at the hospital. I was at my father's cabin and...'' he was looking at her encouraging her to go on ''when I was sleeping my mind started playing. You and I lying on the grass. But it was different. No blood, no people around, no gravestones. Just the two of us.'' Up to that point she put her hand in his shoulder pulling him back so that his back met the mattress and she lied on top of him ''And I dreamt of you telling me that last four words I heard before closing my eyes...'' she looked at his eyes and he opened his mouth to say them again but she put a finger on his lips ''...kissing me...'' she put her lips on his and they started a kiss. She started using the tip of her tongue on his lips and when she opened her mouth, she met his tongue looking for hers. Her mouth left his and started kissing his neck, describing a line up to his ear. ''…biting me...'' and she bit the lobe of his ear. His hands started going up and down her back. She got his wrist and took it off, pressing his arm against the pillow ''...gripping me...'' She felt his breathing going heavier as she continued kissing his ear and cheek. When he stopped moving the arm he had trapped, she put her hand on his ''...touching me...'' the hand she had on his went through his arm, shoulder, chest, abdomen to end up on his thigh. She was making him feel the way she felt then. His hands around her back, her mouth on his. ''… then you undid my uniform...''
''I hope you still preserve one of those...'' he managed to say as he sank his lips on her cheek.
''I was looking for you underneath your clothes'' she felt his desire rising, ''And then...''
''And then?'' he asked almost moaning
''And then I woke up''
''You woke up?!'' she felt that his desire dispelled as quick as it had appeared and she contained a laugh while he was looking at her puzzled and frowning.
''Yeah, I woke up and I found myself sweating and breathing heavily.''.
''It sounds like you had a nightmare. Was it that bad?''. He asked.
''No. It... was the contrary.'' She answered frowning. Then, she separated from his body and held her head with her hand. At the same time he put his hand on the back of his head and started looking at her hungrily, searching for a deeper explanation. And satisfying him, she put a hand in his chest and started describing circles before continuing:
''I got up. There was a little lake in front of the cabin and I had a bath to refresh my mind.''.
''You should have called me.''.
''It wouldn't have worked.''.
''Mmm... Maybe. But I would have liked to see you again in that swimsuit you were showing off in L.A.'' he said arching his eyebrows.
She smiled, got closer to his ear and whispered ''For you to know: I was completely naked.''.
He closed his eyes and bit his lower lip ''Just like you're now?'' he said while he was sliding down the sheet that covered her naked body.
She gave him one of her looks when her hand stopped caressing him and headed quickly to his nipple to pinch it. ''Okay! Okay! You win, you win.'' looking as his chest he managed to say: ''I hope you like unequal nipples. Ouch.''
She burst out laughing and leaned over to his chest to kiss his aching nipple. She looked at him to see that all the worry from before had gone and that he was smiling at her. They stared at each other for a while before she realized they had a conversation going. ''What was I saying?''
''Something about a bath in the middle of the night''
Her smile erased from her lips and she gave him a tender look. ''I started thinking about everything that had happened between us. From the first case we had to solve to the shooting. And I started asking myself if your 'I love you' really meant anything. But then I found out it was no nonsense. I remembered how you used to be and how you changed. The coffees you made for me. The times you saved me. The looks you gave me. The times you were there for me. And I realized it was honest. It was just that I had to get to the same page as you. And that's why I lied to you. I had to get ready, to blow up my wall, to be able to...'' she made a pause there and she thought that she had been going to therapy for that, and that she could say it because she was ready but the words didn't want to come out of her throat. She opened her mouth but nothing came out of it. Desperate, she got his hand and placed it on her chest so that he could feel her heart. It was racing. 'Come on, say it' she thought.
''… to be able to love you like I love you now.''.
He looked at her even he couldn't believe what he was hearing but he hoped it was not a dream. When she got closer to his lips with her opened mouth to kiss him, she missed his lips again for second time in a few hours. Then, he reacted turning her on the bed and this time he lied on top of her while he was kissing, touching and pressing her against him in a desperate and urgent way. He separated his lips from hers to kiss her ear and whisper: ''I love you''.
Then, he sat on the edge of the bed and reaching her knee with his hand, he asked: ''What do you want for breakfast?''
She smiled, bit her lower lip, crawled to where he was, rounded him with her arms and whispered to his ear: ''you'' as she pushed him back to bed.