I'm sitting on the couch in my office. My wife is sitting on my lap. Shaking. Uncontrollably. My arms are wrapped around her. Her head is buried in my chest and I can feel my shirt dampening from her tears. I hold her a little tighter and try to figure out what the hell just happened.

About ten minutes ago I had been looking out my windown onto the South Lawn. My head was pounding because I just went another 3 rounds with Matt over the AVAWA. I'm so frustrated. I know we want the same thing. But with this rider attached, I have political concerns about him signing this bill.

Suddenly my door had burst open and Donna had screamed at me, which is so not like her.

"How could you do this? YOU HAVE NO IDEA!"

I whirled around and growled- "Donna, I swear to GOD, I'm gonna..." but as I moved toward her whatI was going to say died on my lips, as she went completely pale. Her eyes locked with mine. The look in them unfathomable. She was shaking so hard she could barely stand.

All at once it hit me like a physical blow to my chest. I scared her. Not just scared her. Terrified. The look in her eyes was pure terror.

"Donna?" I whispered. Her breath was coming out in shallow gasps. I tried again. "Donna?"

It felt like we stood staring at each other for hours instead of a just a few seconds.

"Josh?" The word barely passed her lips. I have never heard her say my name with so much uncertainty.

The terror in her eyes began to be replaced by confusion. It is almost like for that split second she really didn't know who I am.

Still whispering, I asked if I could hold her. With her slight nod, I slowly acrossed the few feet separating us. I gently put my arms around her. Almost imperceptibly she stiffensed for a moment, then latched on. I don't know how it's possible but the shaking actually seemed to get worse.

When I suggested we sit on the couch, I felt the slightest nod against my chest but no slackening of her death grip on me.

Finally, I'd had to say "I'm going to pick you up, okay?" I kept my voice gentle. Again the smallest movement of her head gave me permission.

So here, I sit.

Then the realization dawns on me, sometime, somewhere, someone hurt my Donna. Hurt her! Hurt her badly enough to cause this reaction. It makes me shake too.

I continue to rub her back, softly whispering "I love you. I love you. I love you."

But my mind is racing now. Sorting through suspects. Who could have done this?! I kept a pretty close eye on the Gomers in D.C. It doesn't take long for my thoughts to land on the likely culprit.

Dr. Freeride. Even though she's never told me his real name, I have his information. I am quite certain that I could arrange his death. And, right now, I'm strongly considering it.

Donna has finally stopped shaking. That realization pulls me out of my murderous thoughts. I continue to rub her back and say "I'm sorry I scared you. Can we talk about this?"

She takes a deep breath and lets it out. For a minute she doesn't say anything. I'm not sure she will. I don't want to push her. And part of me doesn't want my suspicions confirmed. But another part of me needs to know.

Finally, she says very quietly. "It wasn't you."

She still isn't looking at me. I need to see her eyes. But I wait. Not patiently. But I wait.

Another sigh. She pushes back from me and looks up. The pain in her eyes shoots straight to my gut. If I am feeling this way just based on my suspicion, I can only imagine how she feels.

"It was a long time ago. But the way you said it just now, sounded like the way he used to. . . . And whenever he said it. . . I usually ended up with bruises."

Oh god. I want to kill him. "Dr. Freeride?"

"Yes."

"When you came to Manchester?"

"There was a reason I was wearing long sleeves."

I'm shaking again. And now she's rubbing my arm. Wait. She's comforting me? My head is going to explode.

"I don't suppose there is any way you'll tell me his real name?"

"No." She said it quietly. But with absolute conviction. It's like we both know that if she tells me who he is, I'll have permission to retaliate.

I'm not really sure what to say. Basically, she's just told me that I reminded her of him. I feel sick.

"Donna... I would never. . ." It kills me to ask her this but I have to know.

"Did you think I was going to...?

"No." Again quiet but with absolute conviction.

"I've never not felt safe with you." But she looks away. Oh my god. She's lying to me. Of course she is. I just witnessed her terror. But has it happened before without me noticing? I really might vomit.

"Donna?" I ask in the calmest voice possible. "Donna, please."

She looks up again. There are unshed tears in her eyes. Slowly, she begins...

"Once. Only for a second. The Diary."

Now she's speaking faster, " I had screwed up so bad. I didn't want to tell you but I knew you'd take care of it. Then we were in your office. . . ."

"I yelled at you."

"You had every right. I screwed up."

"Donna. no. god. . . . you thought I'd hurt you?"

"No. But there was a moment. . . . There was just a hardness in your voice. You had never used that tone against me. And for just a moment- fear shot through me. I knew, Josh, I knew you wouldn't physically hurt me. But I thought I had ruined us. And that hurt way more than any bruises."

I close my eyes. I failed her.

"Josh. Look at me." I open my eyes again.

"You got over that moment of anger. You took care of the problem. You comforted me. You didn't do anything wrong. You didn't fail me. Hell, you didn't even read my diary. You know what. That was the worst thing about it. Cliff..." She says his name with disgust, "Cliff got to read my diary, and you didn't. You knew what was in it, right?"

I look deep into her eyes. Yes. I knew. "Us."

"That's right. That moment didn't destroy us. And this one won't either."

With that I see that My Donna is fully back. I'm still shaken to my core. But she's recovered.

"Now" She says- "like I came in here to tell you... the President HAS to sign the Anti-Violence Against Women Act."