This is Alternia. Probably the weirdest planet you'll ever come across. It's occupied by troll Vikings who are very violent in nature, but we like it that way. It's located outside of some ring somewhere with two moons of some colors I've never seen. We're all pretty much all raised by our guardians until we're seven sweeps old, but then we're out of luck. Us kids have to find a new guardian after that. And if you don't get one within a sweep, well, you just never get one. Period.
Anyway, we call our new guardian a "lusus". You can essentially choose one, but it has to choose you, too. They come in all shapes and sizes, or so I hear. Some are big, some are small, some are just right size where you can ride them unironically, and some you can train to fight one another for money, which is what we do with them most of the time. The only problem is you have to catch one yourself, and once you do, you're stuck with it until it dies. Or you die. Whichever comes first.
But enough about them. My name is Terezi Pyrope. I chose the name myself last sweep. Yeah, we do that, too. It's the first step towards adulthood. I—
"Terezi, get back inside, the sun's almost up!" Uuugggghhhhhh. That's the adult troll who raised me. She calls herself "Mindfang". She's pretty cool, I guess, and the town blacksmith. She's also never had a lusus, and she's one of the two oldest trolls in the tiny village I live in.
"Okay!" I answered. It sucks not being able to see. Oh yeah, did I mention I was blind?
"Yeah, get back inside! I'm hungry!" Vriska yelled. Vriska Serket is pretty much Mindfang's protégé. She even has the same horns, or so she claims. She and I love listening to her stories about the pirate queen "Marquise Spinneret" and how she went on all sorts of adventures pillaging and whatnot.
I went inside to the warm fireplace and sat down in front of it. I hate it when it gets cold outside. I guess it's time to start wearing my fur again. Mindfang skinned it from an enormous wolfbeast that attacked our hive once. It took her arm and injured her eye, but she was still able to kill it. But do I believe her stories? I do not.
"So, the lusus-searching event starts tomorrow," Mindfang said. "Do the Scourge Sisters have anything in mind?"
"A spider!" yelled Vriska without hesitation.
"Because it has to do with the number eight, right?"
"N-no!" she stammered. Then she whispered, "Yes."
"That's perfectly okay. Eight is great. How about you Terezi?"
"I dunno," I shrugged. "It's not like people will take me seriously no matter what lusus I get." Frankly, I don't really care.
"Feferi already has one!" Vriska piped. Oh yes, Feferi Peixes. She's pretty much the top dog around these parts. She's really tough, and her voice is pretty, so that means she's pretty, too. She's a seadweller, but still hangs out with us landdwellers with her moirail Eridan Ampora. We're pretty much in a cold war with them at the moment.
"You know those were extenuating circumstances," Mindfang added.
"Doesn't make me any less jealous," Vriska mumbled. I can feel her crossing her arms and glaring from here.
"I hope I get a cool one that I can ride," I said. "Maybe one that flies, like a big bird or a… a…"
"A dragon, right?" Vriska snickered. "Yeah, okay."
"It could happen!"
"She's right, Vriska," Mindfang corrected, coming to my rescue. "We haven't had a dragon lusus in generations. Not since the great Redglare." Redglare is my idol. She was an awesome legislacerator and never lost a fight. She even took down an entire fleet of pirate vessels with her lusus, capturing the great Marquise Spinneret. Sometimes I pretend I'm her. "Her death was the last time anyone ever saw a dragon."
The next night, I woke up on time, ready for the lusus-searching initiation. It's pretty much when all the trolls who are of age that sweep come together in the middle of town and have a huge party. Not really. They all just get together and have a free-for-all to choose their weapons.
I get there early to memorize the place. I counted twelve posts with twelve weapons displayed on twelve slabs. You know, I think there are twelve of us who are old enough. I gasped when I felt one of the weapons. It was a rifle. But not just any rifle: Ahab's Crosshairs! They say that you never miss your target with that weapon. Oh, what I would do to get it! I went six paces to the center of the ring of weaponry and plopped my butt down, facing the weapon. I'm not going to move from this spot.
About an hour later, trolls start trickling out of the neighboring hives, whispering. "Isn't that Terezi?" "I thought she was blind." "Nobody told me she was going to be here!" "She's never going to be a real troll Viking." "Go home, you dumb blind girl!"
"Hey, why don't you say that to my face?!" I yelled, standing up to face whoever just said that. Shit, I lost my bearings. Whoever it was didn't say anything back, so I just sat back down in what I thought was the correct spot. Slowly, the ring was filled with trolls my age, talking amongst themselves about what weapons were cooler and whatnot.
First, there was Feferi. Even though she got a lusus already, she still needed a weapon. Eridan followed, in a heated discussion with his moirail. Then there was Tavros. He's sweet, but make him mad enough and he'll deal you some sick fires with words. After him came the twins, Nepeta and Equius. Equius is so tough, he probably doesn't even need weapons. Then there was… Karkat Vantas. I tried not to giggle like a wiggler when I heard his obnoxious voice.
Vriska joined in last, sitting back-to-back with me. "Ignore them," she said. "You're going to kick all of their asses."
"Thanks, Vriska," I replied. "Hey, can you tell me if—"
"Attention!" The announcer's shouting hurt my ears. I need to see with those! "Welcome to the first day of training to get a lusus! When I yell 'Go,' the twelve of you will run to a weapon. The only rule is finders keepers. Got it?"
"Yes, sir!" we all shouted. I get ready. I needed that gun.
"Ready?" A pause. "GO!"
It's definitely a free-for-all, everyone tripping over each other to get to their favorite weapon. I'm the fastest when I go straight, so I make a beeline towards one of the weapon displays. I hit the stone slab and grasp the slim, heavy rod and lift it off. Wait, where's the handle? I felt around for it but only felt more rod. Oh, no. This is the cane. Crap, I missed! I trudge back to the center, only to trip over the angry one.
"Watch it!" he yelled.
"Sorry, Mr. Red," I mocked. I nicknamed Karkat Mr. Red for reasons.
"What?! Why red?"
"Because you're angry all the time. And red is usually color associated with anger. So, Mr. Red!"
"Don't call me that! Red is most associated with the flushed quadrant, not anger!"
"Does it?" I paused to pretend to think. "Hmm, you'd have to show me sometime."
"You—fu—I—th-that's not!" he stammered.
"Hehehehehehe," I laughed. "So what'd you get?" I asked, sitting next to him.
"That's none of your business," he mumbled. "I can work with it." I can feel him stroking his weapon in the close proximity.
"You got the sickle, didn't you? Isn't that a farming tool?"
"Yeah, what of it?!"
"Whoa, no need to get defensive. They say it isn't what you have, it's what you do with it."
"That's for a lusus, dumbass."
"So? It can be applied to other stuff."
"Hmph."
After some silence, I asked, "So who got Ahab's Crosshairs?"
"Arab's what?"
"The rifle."
"Oh. Eridan did."
"What a waste."
"Tell me about i—wait, why am I even talking to you? We have to listen to the announcer guy now." He scooted off. Rude. I scowled and faced away from his general direction, finding a place to mount my new weapon.
The announcer got everyone's attention again. "Now to catch your lusus. Go!"
"And how do we do that?!" Sollux shouted. He doesn't visit the village often. He lives up in the mountains somewhere. I'm surprised he's actually here at all.
"No rules, just go." Nobody moved. "GO!" he shouted at the top of his lungs.
Everyone scattered, including myself. I ran to the woods and the trees, where I felt most at home. If there was anything I knew how to do on my own, it was climbing trees and setting traps.
How does one catch a dragon, though?
A week passed. Two fellow trolls got lusii. Eridan scored himself a seahorse just big enough to ride and can also fly. Sollux snagged a biclops, a mean but dense creature with two heads and one eye on each, and lived exclusively in the mountains. I read all I could about what dragons ate that week. I also figured out that my cane had a sword inside. That's really cool. I thanked Mindfang the minute I found out and started training right away.
A month after that, three more of us got lusii. Gamzee got a seagoat completely by accident when he was out boating. Equius was happy with his one-of-a-kind centaur. Devastated, Nepeta ran off and later came back bruised and scratched riding a giant, two-mouthed wildcat.
Just a few days later, Kanaya retreated into the caves and found a mother grub, which are almost as rare as dragons. The next day, Aradia nursed a ram back to health after it rescued her from Vriska's bullying. Did I know that Vriska bullied Aradia? Now I do. She will pay someday.
The most impressive was Karkat. Well, not really. Three months had gone by, and he was frustrated that not one lusus came to him. He turned to the water. He was nearly drowned by Gamzee's lusus, who thought he was a toy and dragged him down. I heard that Karkat started to skin him with his sickle to let him go and ended up nicking himself instead, which made his crab lusus come rescue him. It was pathetic watching a lusus drag a troll onshore, according to Vriska. But Karkat is resilient. He made up for it by training hard, both in and out of the water.
Two more months, nothing. My traps weren't working! What was I doing wrong? My plans were perfect, my calibrations excellent, but only the bait was missing. Maybe I have to make a trail. I refuse to not have a lusus. And I refuse to lower my standards just so I can be accepted into society.
Then, Vriska barged into my respiteblock, absolutely livid.
"Tavros got a lusus before I did!" she yelled.
"Ooh, what did he get?" I asked.
"Something lame. A tiny bull."
"Tell him congratulations for me."
"Hell no! I should have had one by now!" She collapses next to you in a huff.
"Maybe you should go to the caves, like Kanaya did. Lots of spiders live there." At least, I think so. Anything to get her out of my respiteblock. All she does is make a bigger mess of my mess. I like my mess just the way it is.
"Maybe you should stop making dragon carvings and start finding a lusus."
"Are you always this mean when you don't get what you want?"
"Shut up, Terezi! It's just bad luck, that's all. I'll find one tomorrow, just you wait."
And that, she did.
Vriska did what I said and went to the caves. It wasn't until just before sunrise before she came back out, covered in her own blood. I knew it was blood because it has a distinct smell. She had the giant lusus on a leash. I had waited for her outside those caves all day and didn't hear a sound until I heard her footsteps and her whispered, fatigued words, "I told you I'd get a spider today. Looks like my luck has changed."
Half a sweep has gone by since that day the announcer said, "GO!" I was now very capable with my canekind, but it wasn't enough, according to troll standards. Mindfang took me under her wing as an apprentice to be a blacksmith. It was too hot in there, and I never did anything right. The only thing I learned how to do well was sharpen blades and make slings.
Everyone was doing well in their lusus training. Karkat soared to the top, just below Feferi. Everyone was shocked, including Vriska and Eridan. In landstrifing, Karkat took down that giant spider in less than five blows, and Vriska in seven, just to piss her off. Eridan challenged him in an underwater duel and according to Karkat, cried mercy when the crab pulled the seahorse by his tail in his claw, yanking him off of his high horse. Karkat only had to come up for air once. The girls in town swoon over him now. It's not like I'm jealous or anything.
I started thinking about what other lusii I could get. A fish wouldn't do my any good, but at least it was something. If I had a giant wolf I could ride, at least people will take me seriously. A snake was also semi-rare, but endangered and live on the purple moon in captivity. Giant spiders are pretty much the best you can get without really trying, and Vriska had one of those now. But what I really wanted was a dragon. I read that they were famous for their fearsome glares, speed, and perfect aim. No one has seen them in a long time. But that's not going to stop me now!
Today's going to be the day.
"Terezi, don't do this, the sun is still up," Mindfang warned me.
"It's not like I can see anyway, so I just have to wear protective clothing," I countered. "Plus I'm practically an expert in fighting now, so…"
"Good riddance," Vriska commented. I sighed. She's become quite the bitch now that she got her lusus. She completely alienated me that day, and we aren't as close as before.
"I'm just going to set my traps while it was still daylight so that no other lusus will come for it." Lie. I brought a sling with me this time.
There has been strong, incriminating evidence that there has been dragon activity afoot. Scratches and dead scales have been found in the trees my traps were in.
I stepped into the light. Man, it's hot! I take a deep breath and venture out into the blazing heat. I find one of the trees I marked and climb it, disguised as part of the tree. I readied my sling as soon as I hear flapping of wings. I could hear the dragon munching on the slab of meat while flapping. That's why the trigger didn't work! It was still flying! I raised the sling and stretched it out as far as it could go. I released the stone and it hits the beast with a crunch. It roared loudly and panics, triggering the trap and ensnaring it in the giant net.
The flapping wings against the net sent us both hurdling to the ground.
I quickly unsheathed my cane and stuck it in the trunk of a nearby tree, halting my fall. Its body hits the ground in a dull thud. That height won't kill it, I think.
I can't believe it.
I, Terezi Pyrope, have actually caught a dragon lusus.