Yaoi Mountain Cave, featuring the Akasuki!! -Script.
Charlie: Pein
Purple Pony: Sasori
Pink Pony: Deidara
I added Konan xD
(scene 1, at the base)
Deidera and Sasori walk up to a door. On the door, it says "Do not enter." Noises are coming from inside (optional).
Deidera (sounds like the ponies, knocks on door): Hey, leader-sama! Hey, leader-sama wake up, un!!
Sasori (sounds just like Sasori, none of his lines said with any feeling at all): Yeah, Pein-san, ya silly sleepy head, wake up.
Pein (pissed, from inside door): Uh, what guys. This better be pretty freakin' important. (Opens door looks frazzled, uniform at weird angle.) Is the base on fire?
Sasori: No, we found a map. To Yaoi Mountain.
Deidara: Yaoi Mountain, Leader, un!!
Konan (from inside room, said as if someone said "dynamite" around Normal Deidara): Yaoi??
Deidara: Yeah, Leader. We're goin' to Yaoi Mountain. Yaoi mountain, Leader, un!!
Sasori: Come with us, Pein-san.
Konan (coming out of the door, pulling on uniform.)(said very excitedly): I'm coming!! (blushing, trying to look more professional while straightening her uniform)(clears throat) We may find ninjas along the way.
Sasori: It'll be an adventure.
Deidara: We're goin' on an adventure, Leader, un!!
Pein: Um, yeah, Yaoi Mountain, right. We're just gonna go back to sleep now. (grabs Konan's wrist and starts gong back in the room.)
Konan (said exactly the same way that the purple pony says it in the actual video): Nnnnnnnooooooooooo!! You have to come with me to Yaoi Mountain!!
Deidara: Please, Leader? Yaoi Mountain!! It's a land of sweets and boys, and other things, un.
Pein: (sighs): Fine. (to Konan) But we're sleeping for a very long time when we get home.
Sasori & Deidara (totally oblivious): Yaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyy!! Deidara: un!!
(Scene 2, at the nine-tailed fox)
Deidara (singing/humming We are Fighting Dreamers): We a fwamichi dreamas
Konan: Tiaka mei woamantashi-te
Sasori & Deidara: Fwamichi Dreamas
Konan (really belting it this time): Ta ade fwoodie kama wasu
Pein (totally at wits end): Enough with the singing already!!
Ghostly and unknown voice from the trees: Chaaaarlieeeeee, Chaaaarlieeeee!
Pein (looks around nervously): Did you guys hear something?
Sasori (appears not to hear him): Our first stop is over there, Pein-san.
(Sasori points to the nine-tailed fox sitting on the same hill the leopelrodon in the actual video. Other than that and Sasori, Deidara, Pein. And Konan in the corner, the image is exactly the same. Was that a pink muzzle sticking out from the side of the frame?)
Pein: Oh Joshin what is that!
Sasori: It's a Jukinshi Pein-san.
Deidara: A magical Jukinshi. It will show us the way, un.
Konan: It will guide our way to Yaoi Mountain!
Pein (looking around at them all incredulously): Okay, guys, you do realize that there is no way that thing can
Nine-tailed fox: Dattebayo!! Dattbayo!! Dattbayo!!
Sasori (starts walking, everyone follows, Pein bringing up the rear): It has spoken.
Konan: It has shown us the way!!
Pein: Um, you guys do know that there is no actual Yaoi Mountain, right?
Konan (looking back at Pein and pointing): Shun the nonbeliever!!
Sasori & Deidara (looking back at Pein and pointing, too): Shuuuuuuunnn!! Shuuuuuunnnnnn!! Deidara: un!!
Konan (remembering): Oh, yeah! (pulls out dart gun supposedly filled with knock-out serum. Land's one right in the nine-tailed fox's thigh. It keels over; Z's coming out of its head.)
Pein: We'll pick that up on the way back.
Ghostly voice from trees (very loud now): CHAAAAAAAARLIEEEEEEEEE!!
Pein (spooked, but trying not to show it): Let's get out of here.
Deidara (also spooked): Yeah, un.
(all run from scene)
(scene 3, bridge)
(all on bridge, ninjas jumping around them)
Deidara: It's just over this bridge, Leader, un!!
Konan (really enjoying herself): This magical bridge of hope, and Yaoi!
Pein (looks uncomfortable amid the hordes of ninjas):Has anyone else noticed this bridge is like covered in ninjas?
Konan ((not listening) has a kuani in both hands and is holding up a shred of cloth): Shit. Thanks for posting that picture of me naked with cookies on my tits all over photo bucket! That guy had it on a tee-shirt! (Sasori runs up and looks at the supposed tee-shirt eagerly. Konan punches him and drops the tee shirt off the side if the bridge)
Sasori (stepping back from Konan): Don't worry about the ninjas. They're all here to make the pilgrimage to Yaoi Mountain, just like us.
Deidara (Bowing to the passing ninjas): Welcome, brothers, un!! (holds up a llama sign) Llamas of the world unite!!
Passing ninjas (also making llama sign): You have nothing to lose but your collars!! (passing ninjas ninja off)
Pein (to Deidara): Um, what?
Deidara (this is the only part of the video where he sounds like himself and not the Pink Pony): Don't ask, un.
Konan (whisper's in Pein's ear): Part of the United Llama's party.
Pein (understands): Ah.
(scene 4, Yaoi Mountain)
Sasori & Konan (giddy with excitement): We're here!!
Deidara (also really excited): Yaoi Mountain, Leader, un!!
Pein (mildly surprised): Well what do ya know there actually is a Yaoi Mountain.
(The design of Yaoi mountain is still subjective, But it should be the actual candy mountain minus the candy and turned and different color. Instead of "Candy Mountain" the banner should read "Yaoi Mountain".)
Sasori (singing, but with his usual lack of feeling, which makes it even weirder.): Yaoi Mountain, Yaoi Mountain, you fill me with sweet horney goodness.
Pein (him and Konan take a step back from Sasori): Um, okay.
Deidara: Go inside the cave, Leader, un!
Konan: Yeah, go inside the cave! Kinky wonders are to behold when you enter.
Pein (to Konan, seriously can't believe his girlfriend is telling him this): What!?
Sasori: But you have to enter the Yaoi Mountain Yaoi cave, Pein-san.
Deidera: Go inside to cave, Leader, un!!
(Konan is trying to push him inside the cave)
Konan: Come on, Peinis! Just for a couple seconds!!
Pein (look of horror on his face): What. The. Hell. Since when did you start calling me-
(then the word 'Yaoi' and the first star jump down from the banner. They now have the faces of Naruto, Sauske, Sakura, The third Hokage, and Vanessa Hudgins. Music starts playing. The Naruto one starts singing.)
The Yaoi Mountain Cave song-
(work in progress)
Oh, when you're down and looking for some cheering up,
Then
just head right on down to the Yaoi Mountain cave.
When
you get inside you'll find yourself a cheery land,
Such
a happy and joyful and perfect ecstasy.
They've
got lollypops and lemon drops and candy..."things",
Oh
so many things that will brighten up your day.
It's
impossible to wear your pants in Yaoi Town,
It's the Mecca of
love the Yaoi cave.
(music abruptly stops)
Pein (to Sasori and Deidara): Um, does anyone even know what Mecca means?
Sasori & Deidara (look sheepish): Um………
(Music picks up again where it left off)
They've got jelly beans, and coconuts with little hats,
Randy
rats, choco bats, it's a wonderland for boys.
Ride
the candy into town and hear the candy band,
Candy balls,
it's a treat as they march across the land.
Yaoi brainwash streams across the sky into your brain,
Kneel down, it astounds, it's the Giant uke treat.
In the Yaoi cave imagination runs so free,
So
now Pein-san please will you cum into the cave.
Deidara (throws a bomb, The singers explode): DIE, un!!
Pein: Deid-san, what was that?
Deidara (not really answering the question): I'm allergic to musical outbursts, un.
Pein (exasperated): Okay, okay!! I'll go into the Damn cave!!
Konan (exited): I'm coming!!
(Pein enters the cave, Konan follows.)
Pein & Konan (from inside cave): Wow.
Yaoi slideshow (about 15 to 30 seconds, getting kinkier/more intense as it goes)
(shot of Pein and Konan, their mouths agape. They both faint from the sheer awesomeness)
(End thing, back at the base.)
(Pein is sitting on the floor with a dazed look on his face. Konan isn't even there.)
Pein (groggy: Uh…what happened… (Slowly gets a horrified look on his face puts hand down to pants) Oh my god, they took my freakin
(black out, end, and roll credits)
Credits (as far as I know)
(also work in progress)
Video by……….All of Us!!
Pein…………….Shinofangirl96
Konan………….15zoom
Sasori…………..KuyuriByakuugan
Deidara…………mircat95
Nine-tailed fox…15zoom
Concept……….. KuyuriByakuugan & mircat95
Concept script...15zoom
Thanx to Massashi Kishimoto and TypeQueen of NewGrounds and SecretAgentBob on Youtube For letting us spoof them -
LONG LIVE YAOI!!