The Dance - Dean Winchester/Destiel OS

~Looking back on the memory of the dance we shared benieth the stars above.~

Dean stood at the a little memorial he made for Cas in his room. It was officially the two month anniversary of Castiel's death, and Dean was feeling a little emotional as he flipped through a box of old photos they'd collected of Cas over the passed three years. Sam was out aquiring some alcohol, which Dean was thankful for. He was going to need it if he expected to make it through this.

~For a moment, all the world was right. How could I have known, that you'd ever say goodbye?~

A tear slipped down his cheek as he held up the photo he had of everyone. Jo, Ellen, Cas, Sam, Bobby and himself. That was one of the happiest times of Dean's life. Even if it was during the apocalypse, he finally felt like he had a complete family. He would have never guessed he'd lose them all. His heart ached for Ellen's motherly nature, and Jo's company. If he would have known, he would have done everything he could to prevent it.

~And now, I'm glad I didn't know, the way it all would end. The way it all would go. Our lives are better left to chance. I could have missed the pain, but I'd have had to miss the dance.~

But then again, if he did know, who's to say that things would have gone the way they did? Would he still have had a family, even if it was just for a little while? Would he still have met Castiel? Would he still be as close to Sam has he was? Would he still have Bobby? No, probably not. A quote Sam once told him popped into his mind: "'Tis better to have loved and lost, than not to have loved at all." Dean guessed that was true. Who's to say that if he knew what his life would be like beforehand if it would turn out that way? Yeah, he could have prevented all the bad stuff, like his mom dying, his dad dying, losing Sam, going to hell, losing Ash, Jo, and Ellen... but he would have missed all the good stuff, too. Like driving across the country mulitple times with nobody but his baby brother and the radio to keep him company, or meeting his best friend in the entire world.

~Holding you, I held everything. For a moment, wasn't I a king? If I'd only known, how the king would fall, whose to say? You know, I might have changed it all.~

Dean picked up a photo of himself and Castiel. They were locked in an embrace and a few tears slipped down his face. He remembered that day. It was after they tried to get Adam back. Dean was convinced Cas was dead, but no, here he came walking up to him, dirty tench coat and all. The first thing Dean did was pull the angel into his arms and hold him there. Dean felt like he had a large part of him back. He was worrying himself sick about him. He felt like he had the entire world in his hands. He shot Castiel a smile of pure relief before grabbing him in another hug and pressing his lips lightly against his forehead. Who would have guessed that shortly after that, he would be betrayed by him and then lose him.

~And now, I'm glad I didn't know, the way it all would end. The way it all would go. Our lives are better left to chance. I could have missed the pain, but I'd have had to miss the dance.~

It made Dean's heart ache thinking about it and another scene played out in his head. This time, it was one of the last times he saw Cas. He was in a ring of holy fire, and Castiel was telling he and the others to run. "It's a little absurd. Superman going dark side. I'm still Castiel." Yeah right. Dean let out a shuddering breath, and closed the lid on the photos. Cas lied to them, he opened the door to purgatory, and appointed himself God. Cas turned out to be the bad guy, right? He wouldn't remember Castiel like that. He was going to remember the good times he had with him. But he did it all for Dean... "I always come when you call. I am your friend..." Yes. That was how he would remember his best friend. If he'd have known how things would have gone, would he have stopped Cas? Would he never have gotten close to him in the forst place? No. The Answer was no. Other than Sam, Castiel was the best thing to happen in his life, and no matter what happened, he'd always pick his friendship with Castiel over anything else. He loved Cas. He always had. And he missed him.