AN: Alright, don't kill me for trying something different! Completely different. There IS an original character in here, so I am warning you NOW. I would love constructive criticism. I'm going to see if I can stick with this if you guys like it!
Detective Carlton Lassiter was having the worst morning. And all because of Shawn Spencer—who, aside from being a phony psychic, was also the spawn of Satan.
Peanut butter.
A jar of peanut butter sitting on the ground by the side of his bed was what had caused him to trip on his hardwood floor and land inexplicably on his face. Instant headache—and all even before he entered the station!
The head detective knew he would've acquired one anyways on the way to work, trying to figure out how a numbskull like Spencer had broke into his house and snuck into his bedroom without his knowledge. He began doubting his sonic hearing…and security system. He was calling the people who installed that crock pronto.
Lassiter mumbled something murderous to himself about Shawn as he drove to the station, long-fingered hands tight around the wheel, jar of peanut butter in the passenger seat: evidence of the crime committed. He was definitely going to be early…maybe he could sneak into the lab and lift some prints.
Lassiter was still debating the pros and cons of this decision when he finally entered his workplace, his safe haven…or so he thought. He blinked in stunned surprise as his long strides slowed up the stairs. There was someone on the bench. A woman.
Criminals arrested this early? It was too much to hope for. Especially on a day like today. He squinted at her as if to see her clearer.
She looked completely lost in her own little world, dark ponytail bouncing as she kicked her converse back and forth. She was wearing worn jeans and a familiar-looking button down shirt, a brown belt cinching it around her waist.
Lassiter glanced at the front desk suspiciously. The lights and computer were on but the secretary (Jane? Jana? Jennifer? He could never remember her name) was absent. Odd.
He strode up to her purposefully and she half-jumped to her feet. "Detective Carlton Lassiter," he introduced himself curtly, noting she was a little older than he had previously guessed. She had distinct smile lines and a softer expression. "Can I help you with something?"
She smiled and it went all the way up to her even more familiar too-green-to-be-hazel eyes. "Yes, please. I had heard there was a job interview today for a new secretary, but as you can see, the present secretary seems to have misplaced herself." She blinked, cutting off her babble. "I wanted to make an appointment."
Who the heck was this girl? And why on earth did they need a new secretary? Apart from the fact that no one knew her name and they didn't know where she was half the time.
Lassiter's frown deepened grumpily. "What's your name again?"
Her eyes widened as she noted her mistake, eyebrows flying up. "Oh, God, I'm sorry. Victoria Shansen." She smirked. "Nice to meet you." She seemed to be smirking because of their height difference. Her head was titled at an almost ninety degree angle. It didn't help she was wearing sneakers instead of something more classy like heels. Who wore converse to a job interview?
He could think of one person.
"Who informed you of this?" He felt like he was missing something and he figured once he knew who the culprit was who had placed him with this dilemma first thing in the morning, then he could get on with his horrible day…life.
"My cousin," she said, with a somewhat prideful tone. "He works here as a psychic. Maybe you've heard of him?"
If Lassiter was a woman and the year was somewhere in the 1940's, his eyes would've rolled back in his head and he would've dropped into a dead faint. Ohhh, his head.
"His name is Shawn Spencer."
Of course it was.
hotarukun
Fourty-five minutes later, Victoria was seated in front of an impatient-looking Chief Vick in her office, legs crossed, hands folded in her lap, looking prim and proper and completely still—the complete opposite of the jittery woman Lassiter had just witnessed.
Shawn and Gus were present as well, O'Hara joining them soon. After a brief hug and frantic greeting, Spencer had unceremoniously ushered both the chief and his cousin into the office for an "interview". He was now staring intensely at the back of her head like he was trying to figure something out.
"Well," the chief began, eyes narrowed at a paper in her hands. "It seems Mr. Spencer foresaw our present secretary's abrupt resignation…and apparent disappearance and used this to benefit Ms. Shansen." Victoria grimaced and Shawn smiled blissfully. The chief glanced between the two of them before sighing and ultimately giving in to her psychic's antics…again. "How much experience do you have?"
Victoria opened her mouth but Shawn piped up helpfully, interrupting her. "She's definitely a people person, Chief. Plus she's super organized. She cleans my room every time she visits." He glanced to the right. "Whether I want her to or not."
Karen Vick cleared her throat and looked pointedly at Gus. Shawn noticed this and opened his palms wide in a "What, really?" fashion.
Victoria lifted her eyebrow at Gus, her own job interview completely out of her control. Things are so backward here. "Tori has an excellent memory and she's very good with people, as Shawn said."
"She's also a black belt," Shawn bragged. Lassiter made a disgruntled noise of surprise/disbelief and Victoria reddened.
Chief Vick's pale eyebrows shot up in interest. "Really?"
Victoria nodded slowly. "I took karate lessons for a while."
Shawn laughed suddenly. "Gus, remember when she flipped Tyler Johnson on his back in high school?" His friend started giggling and nodding at the memory.
"Let's not talk about that, Shawn," Victoria hissed in an icy voice that sent shivers up Lassiter's back. The dynamic duo shut up immediately.
Chief Vick shrugged just as Juliet attempted to ease herself into the office. "Well, I'm acting out of trust for my psychic but you're hired. Can you start today?"
Victoria gave another curt nod, having only spoken a sentence or two to her employer. "Thank you so much, I—"
"THAT'S MY SHIRT!" Shawn shouted incredulously, pointing at his cousin and making everyone jump.
Victoria spun around in her chair with a smirk. "Oh come on, Shawn. Who does it look better on?"
Juliet and Gus exchanged looks. Lassiter and Shawn each gave a long sigh.
AN: Okay, please review! Be honest!! I've got a couple more chapters I have written if I get good reviews. I promise Victoria isn't just a Shawn copy either. Thank you for reading and being open-minded!