This little ditty made me write itself when I was listening to a song called You Are the Only One by Emily Osment. You can find some of the lyrics shoved in there, mostly in the dialouge.

Anways, the funny thing about this multi-chapter fic is that I actually wrote half of the ending first, then the beginning, then I started the sequal, wrote half or the middle, finished up the ending, then finished up the middle. It makes sense, don't worry, it was just disjointed in the writing process. *Laughs*

I want to thank Chocolate Scones for betaing this chapter. Thank you so much for your brilliant detective work and tips. *Grins* And now, without further adu, the first chapter of Hitting a Wall.

Dizzy

"Kate Beckett, will you marry me?" As Castle sat there, vulnerable and nervous, she wondered why she felt so…angry. Wasn't this supposed to be one of the happiest moments of her life, when she cries and laughs and screams 'yes' over and over until their lips meet in a passionate kiss? She wasn't supposed to start to shake. She wasn't supposed to have an overwhelming urge to run.

She wasn't supposed to feel this way, but she did, and that's why when she asked him if they weren't moving a bit fast, she wished a million times over she could've taken it back, and still does.

His grin dropped an inch and he looked as if readying himself for something. What, she didn't know, until he started to speak, and she realized he'd been planning for this.

"I love you, Kate, and you love me. You've told me so yourself. Why not?" He shrugged, but his hands shook harder and she knew then that he was scared. 'He has a legitimate reason.' She thought as she bit her lip.

Every time he wanted to move up in their relationship, she had been the one to hold back, and hard. He'd known it was inevitable from the moment he got the notion to propose in his head, but he had still hoped otherwise.

"Forever is quite a long time, Rick. Are you sure that's a promise you can make?" Her voice was teasing, but they both knew that she was avoiding the question. He ran his free hand through his hair and stood, placing the little blue box on the counter. He then took her shoulders and lifted her chin so that she would meet his eyes.

"What's your real reason, Kate? What's holding you back this time?" His eyes were soft, understanding, and full of so much love, she gasped.

Three years ago she would have flipped him flat on his back for grabbing her like this, but the emotion in his eyes and her decrease in violent thoughts toward him stopped her, and she just sighed.

"It's just a little…soon, for me." She stuttered, forcing herself to breathe. 'You'd be trapped. Stuck. Bad things could happen and you'd have no control over them. Or him. He'd get the control. He'd control you.' Her mind was spinning and she felt dizzy, so much so, that she almost reached up to steady her head, but she managed to force that reflex down.

She took a deep breath. "Are we at the right place at the wrong time? Are we not right? Or is this just, right, but-?" She sighed and yanked herself out of his grasp. "I need some space." She mumbled. If he hadn't been so close, he wouldn't have heard it.

"Wait. Kate!" He flung out a hand to catch her wrist when she turned away, but she whipped around and glared daggers at him, and he knew then he'd crossed a line.

"Castle, just leave. Me. Be." She growled. When he didn't let her wrist go for a few seconds, she twisted it, and he jumped back with a yelp. Satisfied, she went for her things again.

"What is your problem?" This time, his voice was almost imperceivable, but when she processed it, her anger went bubbling over, and he regretted his words as instantly as she had.

"What's my problem?" Her voice rose an octave as he turned back around slowly and stalked towards him. "You're the only one, the only one, Castle, who gets me, feels me, knows me, hurts me. You make everything so, damn, complicated and I'm going crazy here, trying to figure out if I should hug you or punch you. How could you do this? How did you do it? Get so damn close, I can't get you out? How, Castle? Cause I'd sure like to know. It makes no sense! And I-I-" Her eyes started to water and she choked on her words. She had to get out of there, but the words came back and rushed past her open lips.

"I'm scared, Rick. I'm so damn scared that I won't be in control, of my heart, of my life, of anything! I'm scared to love you completely, and then end up losing you. I'm just tired, Rick. So darn tired of this little dance we have going on, and I just can't. I can't! So don't ask-" She gritted her teeth, but a stray tear fell loose and her voice dropped to a whisper. "Don't ask me what my problem is." She tuned back around for the final time, not even bothering to wipe away that tear and gathered up her things.

Castle just watched in stunned silence as she waltzed out the door without looking back.

~VNMVNMVNMVNMV~

What was fun was practicing Kate's yelling outloud to figure out where the empasis was. Yeah, that was fun.

I would appreciate knowing what you think about this. I've already finished the fic, in case you didn't get that, so the second chapter will be posted shortly.