Random Stupidity

by Ethra Esme

A/N: Never really done an author's note before. Um...basically, it's about my friend and me. In the Harry Potter world. It's, well, I just wanted to publish it and see if I got any reviews, because no one ever reviews my stuff. Even infamy would be alright. I mean...no one EVER reviews my stuff. Sigh.
JK Rowling owns everyone. Even me. Oh, and the idea, the whole "me and my friend enter the Harry Potter Universe" has definately been done before so, um...well you can't sue me anyway.

Chapter One

The Book

It was after dark. Way after dark. Like, so many hours after dark that it was very early the next day.

Addie, a short blonde with blue eyes, and Ethra, another short girl with cropped pink hair and green eyes were still awake, however. Awake...and bored.

Troubling.

"God!" Addie sighed, hanging half-way off her bed. "We never have any fun anymore."

"Growing up sucks." Ethra agreed.

"Um...maybe we can kindap the Beatles again!" Addie said, sitting up and clutching her pillow with enthusiasm that just didn't suit her.

"Don't say kindap, they won't get the joke and they'll think it's just a typo for 'kidnap'." Ethra sighed, balancing a glass full of water on her head.

"Fine." Addie laid back on the bed, and then sat bolt upright, making Ethra spill the cup of water not only down her face, but down her shirt and into her lap.

"Hey, that's a good look for you."

"Meh." Ethra flipped Addie off.

"Nice. Anyway, you know what? I bought a really cool book the other day, that I've been meaning to show you."

"A book, eh? Man, we're still partying! What was I thinking?" Ethra deadpanned. Addie simply ignored her, as is usually wise and dug a large, leather-bound book from under her bed.

"Where the hell did you get that?"

"Stole it from a vampire I shagged."

"Oh. I thought you said you bought it."

"..."

They both looked at the cover.

"The Book That Addie Should Not Open Without Ethra Or the Already Suffering Plot Will Fail." Addie read. "Um, well, you're with me now. I suppose we could open it."

"Let's."

They pulled the heavy cover of the book open together, and felt a rush of wind, and then the sensation of falling.

And then the sensation of landing on hard stone.

"Well, hell." Ethra cursed. "I already broke my ass once."

Addie, however, wasn't paying attention and pointed at something. Ethra looked up at whatever was being pointed at.

Walking toward them, in the empty hallway, was Professor Severus Snape, a tall, lanky man with stringy black hair and a rather...erm...prominent nose. He had just turned the corner and nearly jumped with a start when he saw the two girls sitting on the floor. He strode toward them quickly.

"What are you two doing out of your classes?" He growled, standing over them menacingly.

"Holy fuck." Addie murmered.

Snape's black eyes widened, turning to Addie. "LANGUAGE! Language Miss McDuff, ten points from Hufflepuff, and-HEY!"

Snape looked down, horriffied, at Ethra, who had lifted up his robes slightly and was peaking under them.

Snape snatched his robes from her and stepped back. "Miss Esme! As much as I hate to do this, thirty points from Slytherin!"

"Woohoo! I'm in Slytherin!" Ethra punched the air, and then pointed at Addie. "HA! You're a Hufflepuff!"

"Aww..." Addie sighed.

Snape looked at the two girls as if they were quite insane. "Of course you're a Slytherin, you have been for the past SEVEN YEARS!"

"Oh good, did you hear that?" Addie said to Ethra. "Means we're not jailbait."

"Sweet."

"WOULD BOTH OF YOU GET OFF THE FLOOR?!" Snape screamed at them.

Both of them stood up from the floor quickly. "Follow me to the Headmaster's office."

"Shit."

"Ten more points, McDuff!"