I own none of the characters of Downton Abbey.

Follows on from 'The Quiet Man'

Rated 'M' for very good reason.

To Have and to Hold

Chapter 1 - The Wedding Night

Anna stared at her reflection in the mirror, as she slowly brushed her long blonde hair. She put the brush down and played with the gold wedding ring now proudly displayed on the third finger of her left hand.

"Anna Bates. Mrs Bates. Mr and Mrs John Bates."

She tried out her new name, but it still seemed very strange to her at the moment.

They had been married today, and now the time had come. That time. She stared again at her reflection, seeing the beautiful fine cotton and lace night gown she was wearing, given to her by Lady Mary.

Tonight would be the first time that John would see her undressed, would be able to touch her, would be able to do things … She glanced over at the double bed, the bed that she would share with him, where they would…

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Her nerves were making her heart race, and there were so many thoughts rushing round in her head.

There were her mother's words "Anna love, you do know don't you, that your first time… well, it'll hurt a bit, and there'll be some blood, but try not to make a fuss, just let him carry on till he's done…"

And Gwen's words "Aren't you just a bit scared of…you know…of what men do to you with their…thing…?"

O'Brien was her usual charming self when she'd said 'You wouldn't catch me promising to obey a man and have him being able to order me about, do his bidding whenever he fancied…'

And then she'd overheard Thomas coarsely joking "Bet the old boy will be at her all night, she won't be able to sit down for a week…"

No one seemed to have anything positive to say, to reassure her about the start of married life.

And yet…and yet she knew that just John's touch made her crave him, that when he kissed her, she felt such intense sensations that she knew she needed his body to feed the passion burning within her.

And now she heard him making his way up the stairs to her…

xXx

John had suggested that she go up and get ready first, while he locked up downstairs in Jardine Cottage. This was where they would be living together as man and wife, from today.

He'd realised that Anna was very nervous, and so he gave her plenty of time to get herself undressed and ready. He felt pretty nervous himself, but excited too. He got himself ready as well, leaving just his trousers and shirt on.

Finally he made his way upstairs to their bedroom. His leg had improved considerably over the past couple of years, but he still had to take the stairs quite slowly.

As he reached their bedroom, he quietly called out her name, and tapped on the door,

"Anna? Can I come in now? Are you ready?" He didn't want to scare her by just barging in.

"Yes, John, come in, I'm ready," she replied, and he heard a little tremor in her voice.

She was standing on the far side of the room, waiting…waiting for him.

Maybe she didn't realise, but because she was standing in front of the lamp, her nightgown had become virtually transparent. He could see her body in a way that he had only been able to imagine up until this moment.

She looked incredible. He just stood there for a moment as he gazed at the curve of her hips, her tiny waist, the gentle swell of her full breasts… John had to swallow hard to pull himself together, and already he was rock hard with desire for her.

"My God Anna, you are so beautiful," he told her huskily, slowly walking over to her.

"Th…thank you John," she nervously whispered back to him.

As he went to take her in his arms, he could feel her trembling.

"Hey, hey, what's all this?" he asked, tilting her head back to look into her eyes.

"Nothing, I'm just a bit…well…nervous. I've never, I don't really know… what I should do…" she whispered back.

"Just relax, first of all. I promise we'll take things really slowly and gently. Or just say if you feel too tired after such a long day, we don't have to do anything, I can sleep downstairs if you'd rather, just for now," he offered, determined to be as kind and considerate as he could for his new wife – even if it meant exercising immense self control. He would make no demands of her that she wasn't a willing participant to, even if she had promised to 'obey' him in their wedding ceremony.

"No, John! I want to be your wife, properly, in every way. I'm just unsure …how …and you, well you're experienced, I don't want to let you down…"

"You won't let me down, you silly girl! And I haven't … for a very long time, so this is the beginning of something new and special for both of us, isn't it?"

"Yes, I suppose it is. I am being very silly aren't I?" Anna said, as she let him take her back in his arms.

"Yes, you are. You do trust me, don't you? You do understand that I love you and that I'd never willingly hurt or upset you in any way?"

"Of course I do, but it's just with it being my first time…"

"I know, but I promise I'll be as gentle as I can, and I promise I'll stop at any time if you want me to…"

With that, John gently brushed Anna's hair away from her neck, and softly grazed his lips against her neck and ear.

"That feels nice doesn't it?" he whispered.

"Mmm, yes it does," Anna agreed, closing her eyes and beginning to relax a little.

John continued to kiss her neck and ears, and was relieved when she seemed to calm down and stop shaking.

"And this, does this feel good too?" he whispered as he rained kisses on her face.

"Oh yes!" she murmured.

It was happening again, his touch, and his kisses were igniting those intense pleasurable feelings in the core of her being. But now these erotic sensations didn't have to be suppressed, she could finally give in to them, as John continued to make love to her.

He started kissing her lips, gently at first, then more urgently, and when Anna gave a gentle mew of desire, it encouraged John to deepen the kiss, gently teasing her with his tongue.

"Do you want me to stop?" he whispered, as he pulled away for a second.

"No, no, please don't stop," she whispered back.

So he kissed her again while stroking his hand over the thin flimsy fabric of her nightgown, and now it was his turn to groan as he savoured the sensuous curve of her hip and then the slimness of her waist.

Beginning to feel a bit more confident and adventurous, Anna ran her hands up to his neck, but she wanted to feel more of his skin, so she unbuttoned his shirt to gain access, and then helped him to shrug it off over his shoulders. She loved the feel of his skin, and started placing gentle nuzzling kisses all over his broad hairy chest, which John found intoxicating.

"Oh Anna, do you have any idea how good that feels, and what you do to me?" he whispered, as he took hold of the firm cheeks of her bottom and then pulled her against him, where she couldn't help but feel his erection straining against his trousers.

"I think maybe I have some idea," she replied breathlessly, gently running her hand over his hardness. She was scared and yet thrilled by how big and hard he felt. She shivered as she imagined how he would look naked….

Her touch inflamed John even further, so now he undid the fastening to her nightgown to allow him to touch her breasts, but before he did, he managed to stop to ask,

"Are you alright? Are you sure you still want me to continue? Because I will stop if you want me to… while I still can…"

In reply, Anna arched up against him and placed his hand on her breast, she was aching for him to touch her there. He needed no further encouragement as he caressed her breast, marvelling at how soft, yet firm it felt. His touch made her sensitive rose bud nipple peak against his palm, increasing his desire yet further.

As he passionately kissed her again, he knew it was time to take things further – if she would consent to it.

"Anna, my darling…?" he gently pulled her over towards their bed, and looked at her questioningly. She shyly nodded her consent, and as he undid the final fastening, her nightgown fell away to the floor, and she stood there in all her naked glory. She fought the urge to cover herself up with her arms, as she saw the look of pure admiration in John's eyes as he hungrily gazed at her. He looked at her curves, at her long slender legs, and at where they met, marked by her soft triangle of curls.

Then he raised his eyes to hers in surprise as she unbuttoned his trousers, her hand unable to avoid brushing against his erection and causing him to groan as his trousers fell to the floor for him to step out of. He was now just in his undershorts, but they quickly joined his trousers on the floor too.

Anna gasped as she looked at him. She'd seen her brothers naked when she was younger, but she'd never seen a fully aroused man before, and John was a well built man...

"Oh John …it looks so... will it...?

"Don't worry, it'll be fine, trust me. Just lie here with me on the bed," he encouraged her, and so she did.

As they lay together, John slowly began to let his hands wander over her body as he gently kissed her neck, she'd become quite tense again. But he knew she needed to see all of him at some point, because he didn't believe in keeping things hidden or secret between man and wife, that wasn't his way.

Slowly Anna began to relax again as John caressed her breasts. Then he took her by surprise as he kissed her nipples, taking first one and then the other between his lips and gently teasing and nibbling them.

"Oh...oh John, what are you doing?" she cried out, shocked - but that shock was quickly overtaken by how aroused his actions were making her feel.

"Do you want me to stop?" he asked, hoping she wouldn't, having come this far with him.

"Oh, no, no don't stop," she moaned.

So now he made another bold move. As he continued to work on her nipples with his lips, he ran his hand between her thighs, caressing her silky skin as he worked upwards, reaching her most private sensitive folds with his fingers. He felt her jump at his touch and try to twist away from him.

"Oh God John, surely you're not going to touch me there!"

"Just trust me Anna, trust me that I'm making things easier for you, but if you really want me to stop, then I will."

By now the exquisite sensations that he was creating for her meant that she was losing all of her inhibitions.

"Oh John, that feels so good! Mmm…no, don't stop, please don't stop," she found herself begging, as she writhed at his touch and threw her arms up in abandonment, her hair spread around her on the pillow. John could hardly believe that this was the same nervous girl from a short while ago.

He could feel how wet and lush and soft she was, and having tried his best to hold himself back to ensure that he had made her as ready for him as he possibly could, he was now desperate to enter her, his erection was aching and pulsing.

"Anna, my darling girl, are you still happy for me to carry on, because I think this is the last time I can truly say that I can stop, once I take the next step, I can't promise to be able to exert that much control any more."

"Oh John, I need you, I need you right now, please!" she implored him. All she knew now was that she was desperate for him to fill her aching void.

With that, Anna willingly allowed John to position himself above her, balancing himself to take more of his weight on his good leg. She felt so wet and silky and welcoming, and her sweet little moans and sighs as she felt him gently teasing against her meant that he finally gave in to his need to slide into her, pulling her hips to him and thrusting harder as he met the resistance of her virginity, causing her to scream out for just an instant. But then with one final thrust, he was fully inside her.

"Oh sweet Lord, Anna, you feel so wonderful," he gasped, completely overwhelmed.

Slowly he withdrew and thrust back in again as Anna clung to him

"John, don't stop, keep doing it," she cried out.

"I can't last long, I'm sorry Anna, I'm sorry, I love you Anna" he cried out as he carried on thrusting, reaching his release and climaxing into her, with Anna raking his back as she called out at the intensity of the unfamiliar but incredible new sensations.

They clung together, shuddering and moaning until finally they were spent.

Breathlessly they fell apart, and lay there, taking a minute to recover, before John slowly turned on his side to look at her.

"Are you alright, my love? I'm so sorry for hurting you," he whispered.

"It was worth it, more than worth it, my darling husband," she whispered back, caressing his cheek tenderly.

"Thank you, my dearest Anna. I love you so much, so very much," he told her, as he softly kissed her.

"I'm so glad I'm married to a wonderful man like you John, that my first time should be so…I never knew…never dreamt it would be...like that. But I'm sorry for being so…loud," Anna told him bashfully.

John was very pleasantly surprised at how responsive Anna had been to his touch. It seemed he'd managed to unleash a very passionate side to Anna – one that matched his own well hidden, but very passionate nature perfectly.

It looked as if they were going to have a very interesting time together in their marital bed...