Painful reminders.
Disclaimer I don't own anything, and all mistakes are mine.
This is not my first fic I've written, but it is the first one that I have had the guts to post. So, please be gentle. Constructive criticism and feedback is very welcome. So are idea's on where this story could go.. coz I don't really know
It had been an excruciatingly long week for homicide detective Jane Rizzoli. A six-year-old girl had been found, with a gaping stab wound to her abdomen. Chief Medical Examiner Doctor Maura Isles had examined the body meticulously, three times. Not finding a single piece of evidence to trace back to the killer. Not a fingerprint, fiber or even a single strand of hair to examine. Everyone hated murdered children. The Homicide Department had been put under major strain by the Brass to find the killer, but the detectives still had no leads. The family had been distraught when questioned and where of no help at all. The child's school and playgroup had been of no help either. Jane was starting to think that this murder was a crime of opportunity, a passing stranger that was angry enough to kill and took it out on a child. The kid had been found in an alleyway in South Boston, presumably taken on her three-minute walk home from school. Jane had gone over her notes at her desk for almost three hours now and nothing was speaking to her. She ran her hand through her unruly dark hair and moaned. She sprung out of her chair, nearly knocking it over in her haste to do something. She started pacing. Back and forward in the squad room. Just to do something so she didn't feel so damn useless. She was angry. And frustrated. So damn frustrated. She felt like tearing out her hair and screaming.
"Go home Jane." came the quiet voice of her partner Barry Frost.
"There's nothing more we can do tonight. Go get a good nights rest and come back in the morning. We might be able to find something we missed then when we aren't running purely on caffeine."
Jane grunted at him.
"Yeah, but God, I feel so useless." Jane muttered, almost to herself.
"I know, Jane. But go home. I'll see you in the morning okay?"
"Yeah okay"
As Frost walked out of the room, Jane picked up her drab boxy blazer, gun and badge and followed him out of the building. As soon as she got into her car and pulled into traffic, she turned on her radio to a rock station. The music blared through the cruisers crap speakers. She needed to get her frustration out. She was practically seething. How could anyone just do that. To a freaking child? Nearly a week of pent up frustration and no sleep. Jane needed a release. She floored it to her apartment building. She knew what she wanted, What she needed. She had a date with Jack Daniels and her punching bag. Fumbling with the keys in her hand, she kicked the door in a vain attempt to get it to open.
"Bloody motherfucker" she muttered to nobody in particular as she finally got the lock undone. She strode into her apartment, shedding her gun, badge and clothes almost simultaneously in her haste for the punching bag. In a sports bra and spandex shorts she strapped her hands in a vain attempt to protect them. But Jane knew that by the end of the night her knuckles would be pulverized and her hands almost useless. Picking up her already half empty bottle of Jack Daniels, she took a swing, letting the fiery liquid burn her throat. Shaking in anticipation she slammed down the bottle and without reserve, rammed her fist into the innocent punching bag. She jabbed with her left hand, crossing over with her right. Kicking the bag with all her might then ramming her elbow into its faceless head. She had no idea how long she had kept up this pace, but she was soaked. Sweat drenched her whole body, collecting in her tied up hair then running, unashamed down her forehead. Drops shook free as she punched and kicked, making the carpet beneath her damp. Obscenities scrolled through her mind as she thought of what she would do to this scum bag when she finally took him down. But, whatever she did, she couldn't find peace. Couldn't find that safe place in her mind, free of emotions and thoughts. A good boxing session usually relieved her frustration. But, not this time. This time she was a mess. She was getting more and more frustrated, her growls turning into screams as she punched. The burn in her muscles grew to the point of complete and utter pain, but she could not get her body to stop.
"Just a bit longer" she growled as she felt a familiar burn deep in her abdomen. For Jane, frustration caused her more frustration. Of a sexual nature. She didn't know why it happened. She wasn't aroused. She was pissed. It could be to do with the fact that she hadn't been laided in months. Not that she was the getting 'laid', No, Jane preferred to do the 'laying' in those types of situations. But men didn't seem to understand this and would never give her what she needed. Full control. So, a while back when she figured that men weren't working for her, she turned to women. Women that knew what she needed and where happy to give it to her. Then suddenly, she didn't see men in the same way. She couldn't sleep with them. It repulsed her. She needed the control, and right now, she needed a release. A release that only one thing could give her. Mentally dragging herself away from the bag, she grabbed the bottle of Jack by the neck and took a swig. She liked the burn. It was calming, almost soothing. She trudged through her small , shitty apartment to her bedroom, her mind focused on one thing. She slid off her soaking spandex and threw them across the room. Leaning down to the bottom draw of her bedside table, she withdrew what she needed. She stepped into the harness, tightening the leather straps around herself. Jane stood back to admire herself in her mirror. 8 inches of a black, grooved cock stood proudly in front of her. She grunted with approval then reached into her closet for her pair of guys jeans. She slid them on, knowing her Ma would freak if she knew what Jane did when she was alone. This was one of her closely guarded secrets she didn't tell anyone. Not even her best friend, Maura. She couldn't bring herself to admit her need for power and control to her best friend. She was embarrassed by her need. That's why, if she ever left her apartment with it on (Which was hardly ever) she would pick a bar right across town so she would not be recognized. She would go home with a women, take care of her needs, while pleasing the women, then leave the womans apartment before she woke up the next morning. But it was too late for that now. Jane checked her watch, realizing in dismay that it was just a little past four and hardly any bars would be left open and everyone would have gone home for the night. Or morning, she should say. Moaning in annoyance, she came to the realization that she'd have to go on ahead alone to get her much-needed release. With a dissatisfied sigh she plopped down on her couch and started to unzip her jeans. Just as she was about to begin there was a loud rapping on her door. "This better be bloody important!" she shouted to the person behind the door as she got up and did up her jeans. Hopefully she could just hide her 'secret' behind the door as she got the person to leave. She undid the chain and yanked the door open, hiding her crotch behind the open door. "Maura? What are you doing here?" she questioned as Maura stormed in the door, shaking. She was wearing skin-tight jeans, red fuck me heels and a white blouse the made her boobs look freaking amazing. Jane shuddered but her thoughts got stuck in there tracks as Maura turned around and looked Jane straight in the eyes, then burst into tears.
"Jeez, Maura, Please don't cry. You know I hate it when you cry" Jane immediately reached out to her, enveloping Maura in her strong arms, completely forgetting about her 'appendage'. Maura was blubbering.
"I'm sorry, Jane. It's just this case, and the little girl and.." Then she felt it. Maura lifted her arms to Jane's forearms and pushed her away. Jane stumbled back in confusion, then instantly remembered the formed silicon between her legs that Maura was staring at. Maura's expression went from confusion to realization to horror to something Jane couldn't describe in an instant.
"I am so sorry, Maura, I ah well. Um I'm just gonna.." Jane stuttered, utterly embarrassed as she turned and took of to her bedroom to remove 'it' and gain some much-needed composure.
"Jane!" Maura shouted after her, heels clicking on the wooden floor. Jane turned to face Maura, to see her tears had dried and she wasn't shaking anymore. She was the picture of determination as she walked purposefully to stand in front of Jane then took her face in her hands. Maura leaned in and kissed her with a fiery passion. Jane pulled away, confused.
"Maura, What are you doing?"
"Jane, I need this. I need you" she pleaded as she kissed Jane again. This time Jane reciprocated, forcefully kissing Maura back as her hands snaked around her waist, coming to rest on Maura's amazing ass. Breaking the kiss for air, Jane looked deep into Maura's eyes.
"Are you sure about this? I mean just because we kissed doesn't mean we have to do anything else. I mean, only if you want..."
"Shut up, Jane." Maura said as she once again connected her now kiss swollen lips to Jane's. Her hands reached for the zipper on Jane's jeans, ripping it down the undoing the button. She pulled out Jane's cock and moaned into her mouth.
"Fuck me Jane." It was not a question, or a statement. It was an order. An order that went straight to Jane's core. She grunted as she felt herself wetting the leather secured over her pussy. Jane pushed Maura back into the wall beside her kitchen. She used her body to hold Maura's to the wall, sucking on her neck feverishly. Maura knew that it would leave Hickey's. And that turned her on even more, her lace panties drenched, her arousal making itself known. She could feel the slow, throbbing burn deep in her abdomen as her clit pulsed. She let Jane take over. Jane growled once again assaulting Maura's lips as she literally tore Maura's blouse from her body, buttons scattering on the kitchen floor.
"Ah Jane, Fuck." Maura moaned. Jane snickered. She loved it that she could reduce this gorgeous women to a panting, sweaty mess. A cussing panting, sweaty mess. Jane glanced down, getting an eye full of Maura's amazing boobs. Her hands immediately went to Maura's bar clips, releasing it in one smooth motion. Jane has done this before Maura mused. But at this moment she couldn't care less. She was focused on Jane tearing her bra from her shoulders and throwing it across the room. Jane grinned and hoisted Maura up so she could rap her jean clad legs around Jane's narrow hips, her bare back scraping against the smooth wall, heels up in the air.
"Has anyone told you that you have freaking amazing tit's Maur?" Maura flushed then let out a low moan as Jane's mouth came into contact with her left nipple, rolling it around with her tongue. Maura lifted her arms to rest on Jane's shoulders as she palmed her other breast with her hand, massaging it then giving it the same treatment with her amazing mouth as her left breast. Maura tried to ground her hips into Jane's, needing so friction to ease the throbbing in her core. But she had no leverage so she bucked her hips instead. Jane smiled, picking up on Maura's need. She ground her hips into Maura, the dildo sliding beneath her hips and settling on Maura's ass. Jane was sweating again. Her sports bra was thoroughly soaked and she could feel her arousal running down her legs and dampening her jeans. Her arms were cramping but she hardly registered it because nobody had ever turned her own so much that her juices ran down her legs. She kept sucking on Maura's breasts, the Doctor's head currently thrown back, resting on the wall behind her. She was flushed and panting. And she was the most beautiful thing to Jane. She had fantasized about this before. But she never thought she'd get this opportunity to have this magnificent woman in her arms. She lifted her head from Maura's breasts and attacked her flawless neck, making her way up to her lips. Maura reciprocated and kissed her back with a frenzied passion.
"Jane" She breathed as she tried to push Jane's pants down with her hips. The dildo rode up and was now rubbing directly on her clit over her jeans causing, Maura to hold in her tracks. Her breath hitched as she enjoyed the new sensations coursing through her body. Her arousal heightening even more as Jane's hips kept on grounding the dildo in place. Her panties were completely soaked and her arousal was stating to travel down her legs into her skin-tight jeans.
"Jane. Jane, Please. Take them off!" Maura begged. Jane grinned coyly as she released Maura, watching her try to stand in her heels on shaky legs. She got down on her knees and in one swift motion had Maura's jeans and lace panties down by her ankles. She looked up to see Maura's smooth, shaven glistening pussy, her juices slowly traveling down her legs.
"Agh god, Maur. Your so freakin' hot." She reluctantly tore her eyes away from the Doctor's core and went back to the task at hand, slipping both heels of her feet then removing her jeans. With Maura completely bare of clothing, Jane rose to her full height, using it to assert her dominance. She raised her hands and placed them on either side of Maura's head as she lowered her gaze to greedily take in Maura's naked body.
"Suck me" Jane commanded as she lifted her gaze back to Maura's eyes. Maura felt another flush of arousal travel through her body and settle in her core.
"With pleasure" she smirked, a coy smile vividly apparent. The Doctor made a big show of sexily dropping to her knees and taking Jane's large cock in her hands as she licked her lips in anticipation. Jane moaned and fought the urge to close her eyes and through her head back, not wanting to miss a single second of this delicious woman devouring her cock. Maura stroked the cock slowly a few times, staring up at Jane wickedly as she slid her perfect little tongue out of her mouth. Jane moaned even louder and bucked her hips as Maura daintily licked at the silicon tip. She kept her gaze on Jane as she stroked the upper half of the cock, her mouth slowly encasing the tip. Then she started to work it harder, her head bobbing up and down, increasing her pace as she went. Damn, this woman is good. I bet she's done this a lot before. To other guys, when she should have been doing it to me. Fire raged in Jane's eyes at the thought.
"Mine" She growled. Maura creased her eyebrows, momentarily confused by Jane's statement. She halted her ministrations only to be pulled roughly back onto the cock by Jane as she hands wove though golden curls and thrust deeply into Dr. Isles mouth.
"Do not stop." Jane growled almost anamalisticaly this time, making her displeasure known. Maura closed her eyes as her head bobbed frantically, trying to keep up with Jane's powerful thrusts. She tore down Jane's jeans, leaving them to pool at her feet.
"Ugh, Maura, so good, Keep going. Don't stop.." Jane groaned, as she kept on fucking Maura's face. Maura took her hands of Jane's cock and wove them around her legs, creeping up to Jane's sex beneath the leather. Jane immediately jerked away as if she was stung. Maura looked into Jane's blackened eyes, once again utterly confused. Jane's face flushed in either shame or embarrassment, the Doctor couldn't tell. Then her face hardened.
"Jane?" the doctor questioned.
"Get up, Maura" Jane commanded. Maura rose shakily to her feet, aroused beyond belief at Jane's display of power. Even if it did seem a bit odd that Jane would not let her touch her. Jane looked down at her cock, now glistening and smirked. That is so god damn hot Jane thought as she went to grope Maura's perky breasts again, rolling her erect nipples around with her thumbs.
"Bedroom" She said, then walked away, leaving Maura gasping for air. The Doctor almost ran after Jane. She was so horny. She needed Jane, and she needed her now. Once inside Jane's bedroom she shut the door and walked back over to Jane, who was standing by the bed, with a predatory look in her eyes. Maura could see a wet trail making its way slowly down Jane's leg, and her nipples fully erect though her sports bra. Her abs glistened with a sheen of sweat and her raven locks were disheveled. She was beautiful. Her cock stood out wet and proud. Maura could not wait for it to be inside her. Jane reached out and grabbed her, pulling her in for another heated kiss. Maura's hands slipped around Jane's back in trying to pull of her sports bra. But Jane was having none of it. She growled as she threw Maura down onto the bed. Jane could not have anybody touch her there. Not her boobs. She despised them. The were something that made her look like a woman. Feel like a woman. And she didn't want that. She had to be in control. She had to be male. Nobody had touched her distinctively female parts of her anatomy in a long time. And it was going to stay that way if she had anything to do with it. But, now was not the time for such thoughts. Maura was in front of she, splayed out on the bed, her legs hanging apart off the end, her pussy so wet. Maura moaned. She needed release badly. Jane knelt on the floor between Maura's legs and inhaled her scent. A woman's smell was one of the things that Jane just couldn't resist. She took it all in before she dived in, giving Maura's pussy one wet, long lick. Maura trembled beneath her, her panting escalating. Jane placed a firm hand on her abdomen to keep her in place as she started to lick Maura again and again moaning at her salty sweet taste. She stuck her tongue into her core, earning a delighted squeal. Jane moaned and forced her tongue in further, then out again, in and out. She tongue fucked Maura still she was begging for more, her hand snaking its way down to rub at the clit Jane had payed no attention to, yet. Maura could feel her orgasm building deep in the pit of her stomach. Her torrent of moans grew louder and louder, as she trembled. Jane grinned and pushed Maura's hand away. Maura grunted in displeasure, only to groan again in pleasure as Jane's mouth latched onto her clit, softly sucking. "Jane!" She gasped as she involuntary kicked out with her legs, and gripped the sheets in her fists. The sensations were so intense and she was so close. The Jane slipped a long, thin finger inside her wet heat. Maura's hips bucked out of their own accord and as she threw her head back into the bed. Then Jane added a second finger and slowly started thrusting in and out of Maura while still sucking and licking at her swollen clit. She curled her fingers inside of Maura, making sure she stroked her g-spot with each thrust. Maura was quivering. Her whole body shaking under Jane. Her moans turning into screams.
"Arh, Jane" she yelled.
"What was that baby?" came the coy reply.
"Jane!" She yelled again as she threw her head back once again, hanging on the verge, needing Jane to push her over. Jane speed up her thrusts in reply, feeling Maura's inner muscles coiling, ready to release.
"Ahh, God, Fuck. Jane, I'm gonna..." And with that, Jane stopped. She withdrew her fingers and unlatched her mouth from Maura's clit. Maura yelled out in frustration. She was so damn close. Her arousal was pooling on the edge of the bed and was all over Jane's fingers and around her mouth. Jane stood up and smirked.
"What the Fuc..." Maura couldn't finish her sentence because Jane took her hips with rough hands and flipped her over, face down onto the bed. Maura groaned. Her muscles were wound so tight and her pussy was clamping around nothing in an effort for release. She felt Jane's hands on her ass, stroking and massaging it beneath her fingertips. Maura bunched up wads of sheet and squeezed them in her fists.
"Jane, Please. I need this. Please." Jane felt the twinge of arousal deep within her. She needed it to. She propped Maura up so she was on her hands and knees at the edge of the bed and spread her legs wide. She ran a single finger down Maura's slit, collecting the wetness she knew was inevitably there. Then she brought her finger to her mouth, and sucked the wetness away, relinquishing the sweet taste as she released it with a loud pop, making sure Maura heard it.
"I see you aren't above begging, Miss Isles." Jane teased.
"Jane!" Maura whined. Jane chuckled and lined herself up with Maura's core, teasing her entrance with the tip of her cock. Maura moaned, letting her head fall down between her arms. Jane smiled and gripped onto Maura's full hips. And then, with a powerful thrust, Jane slammed all eight inches of her cock into Maura's pulsing pussy. Maura's breath hitched in her throat, her scream never escaping its confinement as Jane watched herself slamming the cock in until the hilt and moaned loudly. This was what she had wanted for as long as she could remember, and she was defiantly savoring the moment now. She settled for a moment, letting Maura adjust to her, then slowly pulled out. Just as she had nearly pulled out all the way, she slammed back in, making Maura moan again loudly. Jane ran her hands down Maura's ass again and closed her eyes, letting the sensations overwhelm her. She gently massaged Maura's lower back which was glistening with sweat as she pulled her cock out completely.
"Jane, please." Maura begged. Her body was on fire because of her failed quest for release. Jane just grunted in reply. Her cock slipped back in Maura easily but this time she started with shallow, slow thrusts. She wanted Maura to come like she had never come before. And be very tired afterwards. So tired that she would fall asleep. Jane gradually increased her pace, working deeper and faster. She angled her cock downwards, and heard Maura's moan of approval through her shaky breaths meaning she was hitting the right spot. Her abs and shoulders burned but still, she kept going, speeding up to keep at that angle, hitting Maura's g-spot with each thrust. Maura was moaning, her body shaking and launching back and forward with Jane's thrusts, her breasts bouncing. She could feel her orgasm just out of reach as her muscles clamped the cock. Her arms and legs were trembling, muscles burning, making it hard to stay upright. But she managed, her whole mind consumed by the thought of a release that she desperately wanted. Needed. And it wasn't just her that needed it either. Jane could feel her impending orgasm rapidly approaching, but unlike Maura, she was desperately trying to keep it at bay. She couldn't let Maura see her come like a girl. She needed to get Maura there before she accidentally came herself. So, she added her fingers, drawing rough circles around Maura's clit with one hand, her other hand still clamping down into the soft flesh of Maura's hip. She's gonna have bruises tomorrow Jane absentmindedly mused. Maura was now basically screaming. She could feel the tingling. Feel the burning throbbing now.
"Say my name." Jane husked as she bit deep into Maura's shoulder.
"Jane" Maura moaned.
"Louder, so the neighbours hear." Jane commanded.
"Argh, Jane!" Maura yelled.
Jane pinched Maura's clit, Hard. Maura let out an ear piercing scream as she tumbled over the edge, trembling and shaking. Delicious release flooded her senses as she felt her muscles release and her arms and legs give way as she collapsed onto the bed. Pleasure coursed through her veins as she rode out wave after wave of her orgasm, Jane still thrusting gently into her, leading her though it. Seeing Maura come so violently nearly made her submit to her raging desires, her clit was on fire and she could feel the blazing need deep within her. She was teetering on the verge of her own orgasm, but she valiantly held back. She couldn't let Maura see her come. Not like a freaking girl. Maura, completely oblivious to Jane's inner turmoil, stretched out on the bed, basking in her afterglow. She giggled, her head still so consumed with amazing feelings. Jane smiled, she didn't blame Maura for not noticing. Because, it was the point. Give her a freakin' amazing orgasm so she forgets about everything else. Then Jane could have her much needed release.
"I'll be right back, okay Maur?"
"Hmm" came the sleepy answer. Jane walked out of the room and closed the door behind her. Her hands were shaking as she tried to loosen the harnesses straps. She needed it and she needed it now. Jane finally got the harness loosened and stepped out of it, placing her cock on the kitchen island. She sighed and sat down on the edge of the couch and closed her eyes. Then she started stroking herself. She was so worked up she wouldn't take long. She just couldn't let anybody see this part. Hell., she didn't even watch it herself. She knew she needed release. That, she could come to terms with. But, how she actually got it was another story in itself. She was disgusted in herself. With her body. Disgusted that she had to do this to get herself there.
"Why did I have to be a fucking chick?" she muttered to herself. All her life it had been 'Janie' the girl. The girl who wasn't as good as the boys. Couldn't do things that the boys did. And that was all she ever wanted. Then, when she started to have sex with men, she didn't enjoy it. She tried to tell herself that she did, but she hated it. She wasn't good enough to be with the boys once again. No, now she was being dominated by them. And it made her sick. So, she decided to have sex like men did. But, there was one little problem with that. She had female genitalia. She could fuck like a man, but she still came like a girl. But, she needed it, so she pushed all thoughts out of her mind. She focused on her body shaking, her clit pulsing, her orgasm approaching. She stroked frantically and plunged her other hand deep inside her, curling her fingers into her g-spot. She moaned.
"Ahh, Come on!" she growled to herself. She pinched her clit then continued rubbing it. She was getting frustrated. Her orgasm was playing chicken with her. She knew she was going to have to resort to the thing that disgusted her most. But some things have to been done. Her decision was made. She got up off the couch and strode back over to the kitchen counter, to her cock. It was still wet from Maura. She swallowed. She hated this. But it had to be done. It was just a sick reminder of who she was. She threw her arm over the counter, bracing herself as she spread her legs. Picking up the cock, she thrusted it inside her, right into her g-spot. Her need for release was stronger than her urge to vomit. She thrusted it hard and fast into herself. She could feel it, right there. She pinched her clit. It worked for so many other woman. And she couldn't deny that was what she was. She moaned loudly, her orgasm ripping though her, hot liquid squirting from her body and onto the side of the island. She trembled as pleasure crashed through her body, intoxicating her. She immediately withdrew the cock and threw it down on the bench as her muscles gave way and she slumped to the floor, spent.
When Jane finally opened her eyes it was at least 10 minutes later. She saw the evidence of her orgasm all over the side of the island and remembered how it got there. Her stomach churned and she made a mad dash to the sink, just in time to she her dinner making a reappearance. She felt a strange calm after that. Probably just the orgasm Jane thought as she was suddenly overwhelmed with tiredness. Almost on auto-pilot, she cleaned the vomit and ripped off paper towels from the got down on her hands and knees, and cleaned up the remains of her orgasm. Once she was done, She threw the paper towels in the bin and started to make her way back to the bedroom. She spun around then stopped dead in her tracks, her eyes nearly popping out of her head in shock.
"Maura" she choked out.
TBC...