Okay, so this story tackles the subject of Domestic Violence. It has a lot of flashbacks and if you do not want to read then don't. Jo reveals how she was abused for twenty years by her ex- husband Russ. Okay, just so you know I wanted to try and write a serious Jo and Mac Fanfic. Don't know exactly where I'm taking this, but we'll see where it goes. Will involve multiple CSI:NY characters, plus Russ, Tyler and Ellie. Please Review and be nice. Xx Sorry if the dates are a bit random and don't fit with the show, never mind, haven't written in while so here goes…

p.s sorry it's short and sloppy but it's a little rushed, the next chapters will hopefully be a lot better. Let me know if you guys want more xxxxx

December the 23rd, 2003;

Russ Josephson pushed his wife against the wall of the kitchen. He struck her terrified features with the back of his hand and watched as she fell helplessly to the ground. Jo opened her eyes and tried to compose herself and not show Russ the fear that he thrived on. Useless, instead she failed at that and let the tears fall. She was in pain, emotionally and physically and she didn't know which was worse. She was cowering away from him, protectively covering her small rounded stomach with the palm of her right hand. He didn't know that she was pregnant, she didn't want him to know, she just wanted him to stop. To stop hurting her like this, she wanted nothing more than for him to care about her, treat her like a queen, just to be a good husband- not a vicious animal that got his kicks from beating woman. She had tried to run, to take Tyler and just get the hell away from him; but every time she tried he'd always found her. He had her so brainwashed that she didn't even know who she was any more. Of course she knew her name and her past, but she didn't know her principals. How could she stay with a man like Russ, a man that she put away everyday. She felt such a hypocrite, she felt like a failure. She had failed to keep herself safe and was failing at keeping her baby safe too.

"I'm pregnant", she screamed, finally realising that to make him stop she had to reveal what she dreaded him to know.

He stopped dead in his tracks. He walked straight past her and slammed the door on the way out. She cried to herself, she couldn't physically heave herself up; instead she just laid there and prayed…

Present day,

Jo downed what must have been her seventh bottle of beer and punched the mirror. The mirror smashed into tiny little pieces as she squeezed her bleeding hand. She hated herself, as she remembered how pathetic she was. How she had let herself suffer all that abuse. She felt sick to her stomach as she remembered the many nights that she would pay, and just let him demolish her into a useless excuse of a woman. She took one last shot of vodka which sent her over the edge as she slowly became engulfed by the darkness as she passed out on the floor.

She was in her office when she discovered the crates of alcohol that she had purchased earlier that week for the up coming Christmas due. She started drinking the bottles one by one and that's how she currently found herself passed out on her office floor that late Tuesday night.

It wasn't until the next morning when Mac had poked his head around her office door that he saw her unconscious form on the floor, covered in blood from her first. She was passed out on the many shards of glass from the broken mirror and had received many fresh wounds from the fall, but she couldn't feel anything, she was too numb to feel pain.

"Jo!" Mac yelled as he ran over to her to check her pulse. He was thankful when he finally discovered her pulse and noticed her chest rising. His eyes then scanned the room as he came across the many empty bottles that lay on the floor in a messy montage. She must have consumed a lot of alcohol last night he thought as he comprehended exactly what she had consumed, and wondered why on earth she had gotten herself in this drunken state.

"Mac," she whispered, she opened her eyes and tried to get up from her current position on the floor.

"What the hell happened?" he yelled, shocked at the sight that was before him. He didn't know about her past, he didn't know that she had so many secrets that to keep herself going her often drank herself into oblivion. No, Mac Taylor did not know anything about her.

"God, lighten up Grandpa I had a few beers and fell asleep", she laughed, obviously still very drunk, and that wasn't really a shock if you took into account how much a few beers was.

"Jo, get the hell up", he stated angrily, he yanked her off the ground and led her to his office. She avoided the many nosy gazes as the staff of the NYPD crime lab watched on as their boss escorted a very drunken Jo to his office.

"Sit down", he instructed as he poured her a glass of water and looked down at her with pure disappointment in his eyes.

"Give me your gun and badge, you are suspended for drinking whilst on the job", he recited to her as she looked at him as if she was actually surprised at what he was saying.

"Mac, come on. I had a little to drink", she slurred. Right now he was trying to be her boss, but he was failing as he wanted nothing more than to wrap her up in his arms and find out what the hell had gotten into her. Instead he walked back to his desk and began to type on his computer.

"Jo, just get some sleep here, we'll sort this out later". He informed, before ringing the cleaning staff to sort out Jo's office, in the mean time he was going to find out what really was a matter with Jo Danville…