Another Point Of View

by LimeWater

This is Kennedy's POV all through season 7, I posted it on the kennedy fanfic website now non-existant , and I'm informed it is amazing...But see for yourself...

I am Kennedy Prescott. Powerful. Now I'll cut the crap, into every generation a slayer is born, blah-dy blah blah. You know, I'm so sick of hearing that speech, I'm a potential, which basically means I have, 'waiting in line' tattooed across my forehead. It's not fun, and it's certainly not easy. My watcher, well, now my ex-watcher, due to his unforeseen death, used to read me the legacy over and over until my head would spin and I could recite it perfectly. I could meditate and concentrate for days without food when I was only five, I'd mastered countless martial arts, learned how to use a stake effectively and begun learning crossbow at seven, at eight I did weights for four hours every day before bed, not heavy ones, but still. I'd train on weekends, take nun chucks on holiday to the Hamptons with my family, do tai chi on the balcony of my bedroom at home before class.

Believe me, if you think it sounds fun, you should try it for eighteen years, watching your Mum and Dad get divorced and then move away from Brazil when you're only four, find out your potential and gain a watcher/close and personal family friend, be a bridesmaid at your Dad's wedding to the step-mom from hell, be cursing your entire existence as you pace the corridors in the waiting room while the blow up bride gives birth to your half sister, realising you're gay and coming out, being shunned by your family and shoved into the furthest wing of the house to live, sleeping with a different girl every night, failing out of school, being plucked from your home to go on a road trip with Tweedy Bird, Motor Mouth and Mother Theresa, I kid you not, my life is no bed of sweet smelling roses, and my gut tells me it's about to get even uglier.

And now, me and Tweedy, also called Giles, Motor Mouth Molly, and Annabelle, who I consider holy Mother Theresa because of her constant 'Control your fear or it will consume you, confide your darkest terror in God alone.' are all stood outside what is meant to be the home of the slayer, the one standing in my way of being who I was born to be. Giles puts his hand up to knock on the door but it is torn open before he can even move another millimetre. I don't know why but I'm bored already, and I'm hungry, then the hungries bring the…

"Buffy…" The old man trailed off before he said anything else, but why, what's so special about her?

"Giles?" Oh God her voice sounds really common, big, big internal sigh.

Before anyone else can say anything else Molly shoves forward and in through the door, "Nice place…bit of a mess." Now I know I'm rude, but I'm not that rude, I follow Annabelle who's following Molly past the Slayer, I eye her up and seize the horror, controlling it, "This is the slayer?" the question was more to myself than anyone else, I sigh and carry on, ignoring the oversized bumbling sidekick that is stood next to her, unsure of what he is meant to say.

I stopped when I rounded the corner, there, leaning against the entrance to what appeared to be a messed up living room full of people, was a pale redhead, wearing a sequined blouse, she didn't see me at first as I checked out her body, she was stood with her arms crossed, can't see her breasts properly, damn it. She has a nice ass though, hips that I want to hold while she lays underneath me and I'm…

"Kennedy?" Annabelle is looking at me strangely and I stop daydreaming and snap my head back up, not even having the decency to blush at being caught.

The redhead unfolds her arms, and there they are, breasts, perfect like the rest of her, oh, wait, shit, she's coming towards me, she's going to touch me. Kennedy stay calm, don't you dare panic, you are a bigger womaniser in your home town than half the men, chill. She isn't coming towards me, she's leaving the room, shit, Kennedy do something. I stick my hand out, "I'm Kennedy." Stupid, stupid, are you insane? Now you seem like a freak, I am not a freak! Oh God, am I a freak? Well she's shaking my hand, listen Kenn, she's talking.

"Willow." Her lips move soft and fully formed as she smiles with it, her eyes not making contact with mine, wait, if her eyes aren't making contact, either she thinks I am a freak, or she likes me too. She lets go of my hand and heads upstairs, "Nice to meet you." is all she says before disappearing. I think my heart stopped, somebody call the paramedics.

"I'm Anya, vengeance demon at your service. Any guy you recently broke up with, just say I wish and it'll happen, I'll make it happen."

Annabelle stood back a little, I just smiled, "Anya, unless you're gonna hurt girls, I doubt you'll be interested in any of my ex's."

"Kennedy!" Annabelle said my name in a way that was both disgusted, revolted and horrified all at the same time. Hmm, almost feels like home, not one of them shed a tear when I told them I was leaving.

"What, I was just-" The bumbling idiot cut me off.

"Okay ladies, PMT tolerance level just passed it's peak so can we calm it down please." Buffy looked at him,

"He's right." We have to stick together. Oh joy, please hand me the glue, because I sure am looking fun to being glued to this lot for the next however long. Not.

My head is spinning, there's just too much going on for me to think about, there's a guy named Andrew strapped to a chair, now if the person in the chair was Willow, I'd be totally for it, and I'd sit there and pretend I didn't notice I was sat on her lap, but seeing as he has proved to be even more annoying than Molly, I don't really understand why he's here if I'm honest. Anya, a demon, is living in the slayers house. Xander, the bumbling idiot used to date her. And then, the multi-coloured hundreds and thousands, as if stuffy Slayer watcher, clueless Slayer and annoying potential groupies wasn't enough, there is a snivelling little rat Slayer sister that reminds me of my half sister Emma as well, this place really is just like home, but smaller.

I'm stood here like an idiot, being cross examined by Dawn, the aforementioned snivelling sister, "They're all slayers?" She looks to Giles for conformation and all I want to scream is 'only when your cute blonde sister pops her clogs matey'. "Uh, Potential slayers, waiting for one to be called, there were many more like them all over the world, but uh, now there's just a handful and they're all on their way to Sunnydale."

"The other's were murdered." Oh, it's Batty Blonde Buffy to rescue us from Tweedy's speech, Jees she could be just a tad neurotic.

But he goes on and on and on about death of the slayer line blah blah blah, and Buffy and him have a realisation conversation as though they were alone in an office doing business together. I try to look like I care about what they are talking about, and I do actually care that my ass is on the line, but I can't help sneaking glances at Willow sat on the couch with Demon face and baby Dawn, her skin's so flawless, pale and pore-less with freckles I want to kiss.

"No more slayer…ever." Woah, wait a second, huh what did Buffy say? And…Oh, stop thinking, Willow's talking.

"But we haven't found any information on the first, no documentation…" She looks like a lost sheep, aww, she's the book type, all library and tech work, kinda like Giles, no strike that thought Willow seems more of an internet person than a book person, yeah, whiz chick, my girl. No, not yours, not yet at least.

She takes the files from the table as Annabelle puts them down, looking more lost by the second, she looks so cute! My mind is still working as I try to make my eyes follow who's talking, thinking about touching her, thinking about kissing her. Trying to look around Giles to see the redheaded Willow once more.

"And it cost them their lives!" Andrew, the annoying geek strapped to the chair that I wish was Willow, gets hysterical and everyone turns to look at him, my eyes internally roll into the beck of my head and Xander goes to gag him on Buffy's word like a pet dog.

Giles continues his speech I hear the word 'bringer' and my stomach stirs with anger, my watcher, I could see him now, face down in his own blood, stabbed to death, "Those freaks in the black robes."

"Yeah with the hoodies and the crazy alphabet eyes." I nod and Molly carries on talking, but I've stopped listening, I have a habit of that, comes from living with a lecturer for a step-mom.

I can't believe how much faith these people have in that short blonde bimbo sat across the room from me, Giles is reeling off the plan, going on about balances and guardians, how it all falls on Buffy. I step forward, "That's it? That's the plan? I don't see how one person, even a slayer could protect us, I saw what those bringer guys can do, they tore apart my watcher." Giles tries to put me off.

"Of cause we'll use all our resources." He isn't successful, I'm on one now,

"And if this thing is the root of all evil, isn't the Hellmouth its number one vacation spot? I mean, don't you think we should be hiding our asses on the other side of the globe!"

"Kennedy!" And there it was again, I was about worked up enough to smack her in the jaw, but my anger flow was interrupted by a voice, Buffy's voice,

"No, she's right, we need more muscle, that's why we need to find Spike." I keep nodding, thankful someone agrees with me, but who the hell is Spike? Sounds like a name that would be more suited to her friend Xander, he's the lovable puppy dog that likes to grant blondie's every wish. Anya launched off into a big thing about crazies and killing people, this Spike didn't sound like the kind of person you'd find out to help you in a battle against evil, more likely he'd be on the other side.

The rest of the day was mostly about buying food from the supermarket, extremely expensive, seems Slayers and potentials have great metabolisms, making them hungry a hell of a lot, Giles, Molly, Annabelle and I filled three shopping carts with goodies before making our way back to base. I'm calling it base because I don't really find it home. Home would be Willow baking cookies, red front door, flashy car, tidy house, not windowless living room and cramped spaces, plus no idea where you're going to be forced to sleep. When we got back we put all the shopping away wherever we could shove it and left the rest on the island in the middle of the room.

I grabbed a bag of frozen cookie dough and jammed it onto a tray in the oven, maybe the smell would help it feel more home-y. I was watching them cook when Willow came in, I watched her washing some of the dishes the others left behind, watching the sun shine off her hair and the way her hips moved when she moved something from the sink to the draining board.

"Is something burning?" She turned around and caught me looking, I leapt to the oven and dropped the hot tray onto the island, they were only a little burned on the tips, I sighed, "I'm useless at this sort of thing, I'm more of a packet girl."

"Hmm, didn't this come from a packet?" She said eyeing the savaged plastic bag of frozen cookie dough on the sideboard.

"So it did." I sighed and grabbed one but it was way too hot to eat.

"Maybe you're more of a ready-cooked person." She handed me a packet of Maryland cookies.

"It was the smell I was going for." I shook my had and ripped the packet open a little too forcefully, two dropped onto the table, I offered one up to her, "Thanks though." She smiled and I struggled not to fall off the stool, my heart has stopped, this time it really has. She takes a bite of that cookie and all sorts of visions flash into my mind as she walks out of the room, Jesus, cold shower now.

It was dark when I finally emerged from the excruciating cold shower, my hormones only slightly dampened. I am not a spaz, I will get this girl. Oh shit, what if she's straight, surely not straight, she doesn't seem straight, no Kenn, you just don't want her to be. Please let her be gay, please please please, big guy up there, if you never ever do anything else for me in my whole life make her gay and make her like me, and if you have the power make us live so I can ravish her how I want to. A grin on my face and my hormones raging again I sigh and exit the bathroom, now do I ask snivel or blondie for a hairdryer. "Dawn?" the moody one sticks her head out of a door, I assume is her room, "Can I borrow a hairdryer?" Dawns eyes roll and she goes back inside, I hear rummaging before she emerges with a hideously pink and glittery dryer, wonderful, I get to look like a fairy in a fluffy white towel with a pink hairdryer. Seeing as I have no room and Giles appears to have disappeared with my duffel bag I guess I'll get dressed in my old clothes and dry my hair in the hallway with no mirror.

I get down the stairs and turn the corner, and Willow is making a sofa bed, she notices me, "Okay, so Annabelle can sleep down here uh, Molly can sleep in Dawn's room-"

"Not if Dawn actually wants to sleep, Molly'll talk her ear off." the truth had to be known, last thing I need is to hear snivel snivelling over breakfast because she's tired.

"Okay, then Molly down here, you with Dawn and Annabelle in my room."

"Bad idea, Annabelle snores."

"Do you wanna do the sleeping arrangements?" She hands me the blankets and sheets,

"Sure, but you better not hog the covers," I flash her a smile and turn to go up the stairs, score one for the outgoing confident Kennedy, who's heart is beating so fast right now it's making her need the bathroom, okay Kenn, get a grip, she's just a girl, WOMAN, okay, she's just a woman, a very attractive woman that you want very badly, but nonetheless a woman, nothing to be afraid of, I am Kennedy Prescott, potential Slayer, gay and proud, as kicking and a relic to be worshipped, okay bighead shut up or you're never going to get through Willow's door and into her bed.

I dumped some sheets in Dawn's room and told Annabelle and Molly where to sleep. I flipped the light when I was going into Willow's room and looked around me. The place is amazing. Ornaments and books, fancy throw over the bed, immaculately clean, tidiest room I've seen all day, and it smelled of what I imagine Willow would smell like if I could actually get close to her. Finally I spied my duffel bag in the corner of her room, was this fate or what? I got changed quickly not wanting to be all half naked when the redheaded wonder entered her room and then I climbed into the bed and snuggled down.

It was a while before Willow came to bed, she probably thought I was asleep, even with the light on, I heard her changing and I squinted one eye open to see that she'd had a shower, damn it, I missed the towel-only entrance. Then I shut my eyes again as she turned round, she flipped the light switch and the orange before my eyes became black, I heard shuffling, not next to me, on the floor. She was sleeping on the floor! She does think I'm a freak. Damn.

Sleep must have come because I don't remember much after a few tears of the lonely kind. I'd been awake all of around three minutes when my constant stare must have disturbed Willow's dreams, I stood up, in nothing but a crop-top and hot pants and took my wash bag to the bathroom, feeling Willow's shocked stare on my body. On the way out of her room I noticed a picture, Willow and a blonde woman on a bench. The look on their faces made it obvious, Willow was gay, the question that made my stomach knot was 'is she taken?'. the first thought was that surely her girlfriend would live here, but that wasn't the case with most people who were just dating so why would it be for Willow? The thing is, if they were just dating, then I was in with a chance anyway. My head hurt by the time I left the bathroom, and my stomach growled with hunger, the sun was just up and I was starved.

I was eating fruit loops for breakfast with Annabell and Motor Mouth rummaging in the background when Giles and a rather beat up looking Buffy came in mid conversation. I decided to apologise seeing the shock on their faces at us being up so early. "Sorry about the British invasion." this set Molly off,

"Yeah, we've been up for hours, 4pm London time." I took a good look at Buffy she was holing her head,

"Are you okay, you look…" I couldn't find the word, evidently failing school was having an impact on my vocabulary.

"Oh, yeah, I, I just got into a fight is all." She wasn't convincing anyone as she slumped onto a stool. Saying something else as my mind went on to think about what epic battle she had that I could have had was I the slayer. Giles mentions discussing things in private and I realise I'd been staring I turn back to Molly, making a face as though we're not wanted, "What, you mean not in front of the next generation? No time to coddle them Giles, welcome to the war room guys." I can't help smiling into my fruit loops, seems the Slayer thinks we should hear what goes on instead of being pushed out.

Giles launches into a speech about a Turok-Han or something, while I cradle a mug of nice warm and extremely comforting British tea, said beastie doesn't sound so pretty. Annabelle, who is taking notes like the spaz that she is asks if she slayed it.

"No, it's still out there…" She shrugs, "Somewhere."

"What's it want?" Molly pipes up and instantly I go to switch off in case she talks any more, but Buffy takes it as the end of the question and answers,

"All of us dead." Blatant, blunt, hard-hitting and simple, Buffy reminded me of me somehow, but surely I'm not as psychotic?

She told us to wait it out, basically telling us that to all intent and purposes that we were rendered useless, I was rendered useless.

So what do you do in California when you're being hunted by evil men in black robes with freaky eyes and there's nothing you can do but sit and wait. Me? I train.

Molly took the time to sit and talk to the walls, thinking she was talking to Annabelle while Annabelle prayed until her crucifix and her bible were all prayed out. I wrapped up my hands and beat the living hell out o a punch bag. Then when I was so sweaty I could take no more, I fell asleep on a bunk that was pulled down conveniently. Only to be awoken by Willow shaking me, "Jees, what?" I moaned before realising I was her and apologising for being rude, still running on British time was taking an effect on me.

Giles began his 'Sundown in 17 minutes' pacing of the living room floor, and Xander started joking about trapping the Turok-Han in the pantry. Willow tried to make us feel better, "We'll be okay or even better, it's like our guarantee." Hmm, some guarantee. She turned to Buffy, "I just, I want you to know that I'm really sorry about letting you down, what with the magic going all ahh, and me being all eee and everything getting all grr. I wish I could help out."

So that's what Willow does, she's a magician, very nice. Internal sigh, imaginary conversation with my dad 'Hey, I have a new girlfriend her name's Willow and she's a magician.' I could almost see his face now. Still, there was something magic about her, the glint in her green eyes, that tint of sadness that made you want to hug her and tell her it would be okay, the way her freckles stood out just enough for you to want to reach out and touch them, the way her mouth moved when she spoke, or her body moved in the light. The light coming through the gap in Xander's amazing window cover up was lessening, my head started to think battle instead of bed and I almost leapt off of the couch, "Hey are we getting weapons? Trained fighters, badness coming, I've heard worse ideas."

Annabelle's turn to butt in again, "We'll be armed when the slayer feels we're ready." God, how does she manage to get everything to sound like a sermon, it's amazing.

"I feel ready." Molly had fear in her eyes, something I was lacking, fear, here I was more scared in case Willow was dating someone or if she thought I was a freak than about killing thousand upon thousand of year old super-vamp.

Annabelle begins her speech on 'controlling fear' again. I decide the best way around hearing a sermon is to get in as soon as possible, "Yeah, you know what would help with that?" I shoot a look at her before turning back to Buffy, "Weapons."

The blonde begins to shake her head, "Uh, I don't know about that-"

I cut her off, I'm getting impatient, I want to feel the strength of a weapon in my hand, show Willow I'm not a freak. "We're sitting ducks without them!"

Again Annabelle theows her two-penneth in, deciding my opinion is ridiculous as she has full faith in blonde-bruise face. "We're with the slayer. Safe as houses."

I wave my hand around in a pointed fashion, "You see the house we're in??" Then I sigh and sit down heavily on the arm of the chair, waiting for a decision.

Annabelle finally sees what the hell I'm talking about, she plays with her crucifix as if it will fix everything and sighs as she says, "It'll come straight for us wont it?"

Buffy seems to think about it for a moment and I push her a little with a look, "We should load them up Giles." Xander makes his way over to Andrew while the three of us grab the weapons of our choice. I favour the crossbow, taking a few minutes to learn how it loads up I didn't notice Andrew babbling in the distance, and I really didn't hear Annabelle backing towards the doorway.

"What are you doing?" It's Molly's voice that makes me turn round, not realising I'm aiming the crossbow at Annabelle until I see her eyes fill with more fear, I drop it back in the chest and she turns and runs out of the door.

Molly watches her leave and I feel myself unable to move, I'm screaming at myself to grab the crossbow and go after her, she didn't take a weapon. There's a part of me that thinks stay where you are idiot, do you want to die now before all the real action? Just go and tell…

"Uh, guys? Annabelle split…" Molly's voice breaks my thoughts. Exactly, tell blondie. I could get to like motor mouth, she thinks like me. Buffy and Giles rounded the corner so I could see their faces, Giles looked disappointed, almost pitying. Buffy seemed to fear for Annabelle's life, but why? It wasn't like she knew her, or even cared about her. My mind seemed to stream with thousands of tiny thoughts, did she actually care? Were these things actually so bad that it was impossible to not be scared for someone's safety? I shook myself out of it quite fast, but I was dizzy from the impact. Buffy had grabbed her jacket before I knew what was happening, I was all set to go too, but she refused me that and told us all to stay. She wanted the glory, either that or this thing was really under her skin, when that happens it's never good.

"Tea anyone?" Giles voice was faltering as he said it, almost a little too high as he held up an empty mug as a gesture. Ah, the English and their tea, that'll solve everything.

"Please, I'm gasping for a cuppa." Molly moved forward, she seemed to shield her fear better than me right now. How was that possible. I am Kennedy, and nothing and no one scares me. Yeah right. Shut up.

I just nodded, I think I was still numb, no matter how much Annabelle had annoyed me she didn't deserve to die, especially at the hand of something that scared the slayer. Oh God, I did not just refer to her as something above me, did I? She's just in the way that's all.

The tea was too milky, but even with the excess milk it scolded my throat and remained bitter to taste. Was this how my life was going to end, in this house, miles from home where they can't even make decent tea?

I cradled the warmth though, and as I did it began to comfort me a little. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad.

"Don't be an idiot Giles, what the hell did you let her go out after it for?" It was Xander's voice that broke my comfort, and his anger seemed to fill me, an anger I thought I'd never feel again.

"I didn't let her go after 'it' I let her go after 'her'!" I walked into the room as he answered and sat down.

"Oh no, no we have to go after her." It was Willow who spoke up now, standing behind Xander, oh God there was a spark there, not much but one I could see a hint of. Maybe she isn't gay and it's all my imagination.

"And what are we going to do exactly?" Giles seemed to ask the question I was thinking without realising it. Molly nodded and for the first time I noticed her stood next to me, also cradling tea, I was shocked, she was lost for words.

They left anyway, and it was me, Molly, Dawn and Anya, plus half a chest of weapons, versus…the TV? And microwave pizza? So here we were, a bottle of Pepsi and three slices each we sat…In silence.

When they got back, it was chaos. I wanted to throw up, me…Kennedy, wanted desperately to run up the stairs and hurl three slices and a bottle of Pepsi into Buffy's sparkling toilet. But I didn't, no one did, they just rallied round and acted like it was something they were used to.

It was Willow and Giles that carried Buffy upstairs, and I'm guessing, seeing as Giles reappeared minutes later, that Willow was helping her clean up. She could have scrubbed my back anytime. Except this really wasn't the time, because Xander followed them in…With Annabelle dead in his arms. That was why I wanted to be sick. And just so you know, we buried her, me and Molly, in the dark, buried our companion in Buffy's back yard. No one cried, no one said anything. We just sighed when we'd finished, placed her crucifix on top, went inside and washed our hands. It was like a dream, or a nightmare, I was numb. I'd only seen one other dead person in my life, my watcher, barely recognisable he was so dismembered.

At least then I'd cried, it was never something I'd expected to have to get used to, but I realised I was, I was losing my heart to it too. I could feel, but it seemed not to affect me. Ha. Guess I am tough after all.

We were sat at the table when Willow came downstairs. "She's sleeping, I think." Giles nodded.

"So what do we do?" Xander stood with Giles by the wall near where Willow had come in.

"Well we could make plans as we always do, but the truth is, Buffy was our plan, there is no back up." He held up one single empty hand, and in that gesture, I knew that was how I felt. Cradled, empty…Hollow even.

"Giles, she looks bad." Willow couldn't lift her head, it was something I felt she hadn't wanted to admit, and I wouldn't have wanted to either, not in front of me, or Molly, or even the rest of the Scoobies, but she knew we'd all seen her.

"She does. I'm afraid there may be internal bleeding." He shook his head.

"What does that mean?…Will She…" My heart seemed to stop. If she died I could be a slayer, then I thought about that and how bad it would be for Willow, and also my life, then my face flushed with guilt.

"Die?…I don't think so…I don't know." He sighed, he really didn't know.

"W-w-well what'll we do if she can't fight?…If she can't beat this thing?" Her voice was faltering and she seemed genuinely scared, so am I come to think of it.

Giles started to pace, and I found myself listening, and following his movement, "Then we're back at square one.

Xander moved, "And which square would that be exactly?"

Giles did the gracious thing of turning to look when he answered, "I'm not sure. The first predates everything we've ever known, or can know, it's everywhere, it's pure," He paused to sigh and it made me look up again. "I don't know if we can fight it…"

The beginning of the speech was almost enough to send you to sleep, even though I found myself more crestfallen than sleepy if I'm honest. My head shot round when I heard another voice enter the conversation, the realisation hit me that it was Buffy's voice and Jees did she look bad when she rounded that corner, like one big open wound, and yet she still didn't seem beaten to me. "You're right. We don't know how to fight it. We don't know when it'll come. We can't run, can't hide, can't pretend it's not the end, 'cause it is. Something's always been there to try and destroy the world. We've beaten them back, but we're not dealing with them anymore. We're dealing with the reason they exist. Evil. The strongest. The First." I kinda felt for her, she looked like a scared child that stayed up way past it's bed-time, except for the blood.

"Buffy, I-I-I know you're tired-" She cut Giles off with a smile that seemed sarcastic to a point.

"I'm beyond tired. I'm beyond scared. I'm standing on the mouth of hell, and it is gonna swallow me whole. And it'll choke on me. We're not ready? They're not ready. They think we're gonna wait for the end to come, like we always do. I'm done waiting. They want an apocalypse? Oh, we'll give 'em one. Anyone else who wants to run, do it now. 'Cause we just became an army. We just declared war. From now on, we won't just face our worst fears, we will seek them out. We will find them, and cut out their hearts one by one, until The First shows itself for what it really is. And I'll kill it myself. There is only one thing on this earth more powerful than evil, and that's us. Any questions?" I didn't know whether to laugh, smile, cry or clap. I was inspired, and on the verge of crying, but I knew she was right, and I wasn't going to run, not in a million years.

SHOWTIME

So a week went by, Vi arrived the next morning. She was funny looking, with funny ginger hair, she was gangly and it looked strange on her somehow. She was shortly followed by Chloe, who had the weirdest clothes, and some of the most childish I've seen on anyone except my little sister. Who was then followed by Eve, who's drawling accent managed to annoy the hell out of me even more then Molly's motor-mouth. So here we were, the potentials, and lucky for me, I didn't have to sleep with them, I was still sleeping in Willow's room, trying to get her into my bed…or her bed…whatever, she had chosen to sleep on the floor.

Thinking about Willow, she was shuffling an awful lot, I moved to the other side of the bed and watched her writing around, she looked quite cute actually, though rather uncomfortable. This is your chance Kenn, go get her.

"You don't have to do this you know." I smile sweetly as she opens her eyes, I hope I look confident, because I'm not sure I feel it. Every time she walks into a room I get butterflies. She looks at me as if to say 'do what?' I actually hear her say it in my head which is weird. "Flooring it, In the bag. 'Cause…" I pat the bed to indicate my meaning. "Nice big comfy bed right here. I mean, you ought to know. Your bed." 'That I wish you were in with me' follows my sentence, but only in my head. Damnit.

Her eyes go wide, and her body goes a little more rigid, I can see it from all the way up here. Damn, I must look confident, "Yeah, but no. I'm OK. I just, I like it down here." She imitates my earlier motion and pats her sleeping bag, "It's firm."

I nod, not convinced. "Funny," I almost laughed and thought better of it, "You look a little uncomfortable, or is it just me?" I fake confusion, in the hope that she'll stutter upon answering. It's so cute when she does that.

"No, I'm uh, just uneasy 'cause Buffy's out." She nods, though I'm not sure which of us she's trying to convince anymore.

"Right." I try to sound totally unconvinced, and sarcastic, then add, "How many girls arriving this time." Must find out how much more food I'll lose out on.

"Just one. But since Giles has the coven searching for other slayers-in-waiting to send 'em our way, I bet we'll be seeing a lot more soon enough." Internal groan on my part. But I try and flirt, "So," I flip my hair and pull the pillow towards me, snuggling into it like I want to snuggle into her, "You're saying I should enjoy having this bed all to myself as long as I can?" I feel a little guilty at hitting her below the belt and dragging up the conversation we were having before, but I swear if I don't get some soon I'm going to become crazy Kennedy, and that's never any good. The thing is, I find myself craving sex less and less, and just craving Willow's company more and more, which is weird.

She laughs, obviously missing my point, "It is starting to get crowded around here." I decide to leave it, and prop my head back up on the pillow.

"Totally. And with this many girls, well, I'm just saying, if we don't get another bathroom in this house soon, things are gonna get ugly." I never had that problem thank God, but now I do, it's beginning to grate.

"Sounds like someone had to share mirror time with a bunch of siblings." Again with the totally missing my point, do I speak a different language? Well I do speak in a different accent, but big deal, is it that hard to understand?

"Someone not me…I only got a half sister…And we didn't have to share. Her bedroom was in a different wing of the house." Yeah, a totally different wing, like the other end of the world to get there, so my gayness 'didn't catch'. Internal sigh.

"Wing…Your house had wings?" Willow is staring at me, like most people do when they find out I come from a rich background. Nice one Kennedy, make her feel like she's beneath you, now she'll think you'd never date a 'girl like her'. Another internal sigh, one day the lungs in my brain will cave in and I'll die, but until then, I'll keep sighing inside.

"Yeah." I cant look at her, "A couple," I re-think, it had five, a couple is two, "A few…" You're sinking Kenn, I look up. "Our summer home in the Hampton's didn't have any at all." I was grasping at straws and as soon as I mentioned the Summer house I wished I hadn't, how many people do you know with a summer home? No wait, it had one, "Well, one actually…" Just shut up you idiot, you're making it worse!

Willow's still in shock. Great. "Huh…Well that's…Huh…" Wonderful. She's speechless too. You'd think I'd be used to these reactions by now, but it's something I doubt I'll ever get used to. I try to change the subject.

"But never mind my deal. What's your story Willow? I mean witchcraft?" I think, don't say the wrong thing and sound stupid, "Wow. That sounds…New Age-y." I flash a smile.

"No, it's safe to say what I practise is definitely Old Age-y."

Great, might as well go the whole hog and sound totally dumb. I nod anyway, "So show me a trick..."

"A trick?" She seems a little confused, aren't we all?

"You know, pull a rabbit out of something, or make something float…" I had a clown for my birthday when I was really little, he was so cool, my Mum had hired him…

"Yeah," She seems nonplussed by my enthusiasm, and I can't help but wonder why. "Listen…Kennedy." This really can't be good, my Dad used to say that right before he'd begin a lecture and then ground me, then I'd climb out the window and go out anyway…"It's almost morning. We really need to get some sleep." Oh, it wasn't that bad, that's a nice way of saying 'shut up you idiot you have no idea what you're on about'.

"Hey," I flash a smile and lean closer, "If I wanted to sleep I'd be downstairs catching Z's with the other girls." I think I may have been too sarcastic.

Willow rolls her eyes, and I realise I'm beginning to sound like Molly. That's really not good. "Okay, going back to sleep now I am." And I pull the covers up over me.

I watch as she snuggles back down and then frowns, beginning to wrestle with her uncomfortable-ness…Is that a word? Anyway, I can feel my heart melting at how cute she looks as she writhes around.

When I finally got up, the new girl was already here, she'd arrived somewhere in between me and Willow talking, and us waking up again. Everyone else had apparently been up most of the night, which Xander seemed incredibly happy about. I got filled in when Willow did, about Anya's search for info that was unsuccessful, and about some eye thing-y her and Giles had gone in search of.

As for us, it was training, which was easier said than done when all the other potentials can't even put force behind a stake. Yet another internal sigh. I try teaching them some moves, but most of them end up on the floor in stitches, so I give up and just let them do whatever, today is not a day I can be bothered with, today is a day when I'm stuck down here and Willow's upstairs, where I want to be.

We break for dinner, which is a mad rush at the fridge and then a fight over everyone's favourite thing. Snivelly-Dawn tries to join in but she can't eat as much as us and in the end sulks off. Sisters. Then we were all frog-marched back down into the basement by Buffy, and training began again, but Buffy left us to it after about three minutes because she found our 'insolence pointless'. So again it was just me…holding the punch bag for Chloe while everyone else did their own thing.

"What are we all doing here?" Eve's the one that complains first, well first after dinner anyhow.

"It's called training, didn't your watcher ever teach you the word?" I'm short with people, I know, I just want to be near Willow, she makes me a nicer person, plus that voice is like nails on a blackboard to me…

"I never had a watcher! I only just found out what I was—or what I might be—after those crazy-ass monks came after me." Rona was right, not all of us had had watchers, but I was actually talking to Eve, who I knew had had a watcher in the past.

"I meant why are we all bothering? It's not like we can make a difference." Oh God I cant help but roll my eyes at that comment, talk about trying to kill the passion of fighting, make yourself sound worthless so it doesn't look so bad when you run scared…Like Annabelle…Cue panging stab in heart…Ow.

"We've gotta train!" Finally, oh wait, that's Molly talking, told you I was gonna get to like her, she thinks like me. "We've gotta keep our reflex's sharp!" Then she drops a stake, so much for reflex's.

"We have to be ready. If something comes down-"

"No. Something's already come down." Oh Chole did not just interrupt me mid sentence, I hate that.

"She's right. And what are we supposed to do about it? I mean, I've never seen a real vampire in my whole life, much less slayed one." I had to agree with that one, my experience with vampires was also limited, but I was still determined to train and fight them. I shrug, unable to get a decent comeback together fast enough.

"I've seen one…" Vi spoke up, first time in a while. We all look her way. "Well my watcher once showed me a photograph of one." We continue to look, "A blurry photograph."

"That's what I'm saying. Not one of us is even remotely prepared to be activated as the new chosen one." Ha, that's where Eve's wrong!

"I feel pretty prepared." And I do. If only.

"Excuse the newness of me, but just so I understand, if a slayer dies-" Eve cuts Rona off, man I hate that.

"When a slayer dies, I mean, nobody lives forever, right?" She shrugs, seemingly unsure.

"Then one of us-"

"Gets activated…Uh-huh." This girl really likes cutting people off, that annoys me.

"I prefer called." Molly chirps up, I do too actually, but why does it matter what it gets called, I just want it to happen to me.

"I heard there's more than one…" Vi chimes in.

"More than one what?" What the hell is she on about?

"Slayer…There's another one…Somewhere." Great. More competition.

"That doesn't make any sense." Well no, it doesn't, but to me, not an awful lot does these days.

"Like any of this does. No matter how many there are, one of us is gonna be the next slayer, with the weight of the world on her shoulders." Finally she talks some sense, but still that voice is damn annoying.

Chloe shakes her head. "It won't be me." She looks around for confirmation, I bloody hope it isn't her. "I mean, not now." She is grasping at straws, like me this morning. "I mean, I'm too young!"
Ha. Gotcha girly. "Doesn't work that way. In fact, the younger, the better. In fact, I'm starting to think it might be too late for me." I think long and hard about what I just said, and realised I'd been thinking it all along, maybe I was too old.
"Never too late. It could be anyone. Especially since there's so few of us left. They'll just run through each one of us, one after the other. Kinda creepy, huh? All we do is wait around for each other to die." Eve was doing a good job at making us all doubtful, and scared, and weirded out by what we all were, but why? I shook my head free.

"Can we just train now…Please? I'm sick of this crap." And I feel relief wash over me as Eve gives in and goes back to not training and aimlessly walking around doing nothing. And I carry on holding the bag for Chloe.

It was around mid-afternoon when we all sat down for a break, I was bored and everyone else was tired, right about the right time for Eve to begin again. "Just my personal opinion, but I don't think the slayer can protect us from the First." Well I didn't either, but I was hoping that when the time came, that I could protect myself from the first, and Willow of cause.

"Eve, would you just shut up!" I'm thinking.

"About what?" She's so cocky! I hate that, and I hate her.

"About how I'm gonna schedule training tomorrow so we don't end up this way. Doing nothing, no one getting any better…" Eve rolled her eyes, but thankfully shut up.

I faintly hear the door slam. Then Buffy comes hurtling down the stairs, "Get away from them?" Yep…Buffy the Blonde Bimbette has finally lost it.

"Who? Get away from who?" I ask, my eyebrows raised. Eve smiles and turns her head, I watch her do it,

"What's the problem officer?"

"I said…Get away from them…Now!" She doesn't look a happy bunny for someone who should be in a ward somewhere.

"Buffy what did Eve do?" Oh that's right Snivel, stick up for the cocky-ass one.

"That's not Eve." Xander says, looking a little crestfallen…Wait, what did he say?

"Eve's dead." Duh Buffy, she's stood right there.

"I-I don't understand." Rona raises her hand like a schoolchild, though none of us lot understood either, Damnit I have to stop putting myself in the same category as them. We all back away from the blonde I hate so much.

"Oops! One more down. Oh, well, can't save 'em all, can ya, Buffy?" She turns to look at all of us. "Thanks for the slumber party, girls. It's been real fun the last couple of nights. I learned a whole lot—" Shit, she knows how crap we all are. No, she knows how crap they all are, you're not that crap.

"Just shut up and get out!" Wow, Buffy's really mad now.

Eve turns back to face her, "Or you'll do what? I'll be sending a guest over to visit y'all later on tonight, after the sun goes down of course. Try and make him feel welcome before he rips y'all to pieces. Bye." And that's our lot, one flash and she's gone. So Eve was dead…Can't say I feel too sorry about that if I'm honest, though I'm sure she was a nice person, when she wasn't the First.

"I need to go wash up again." Yeah right, Andrew wants to go pee he's that scared, another internal sigh. What a major super villain he was. Not.

Buffy called an emergency meeting in the dining room, so we all sat round the table, without Anya, or Giles. "What are we gonna do?" I left the question open to anyone.

"We should run." Vi seemed sure of it.

"And go where Vi?" It was a valid point though.

"Annabelle ran, look where it got her." And for te first time, Snivelling Dawn had a valid point too.

"Safer in than out." Buffy wasn't wrong either, though my Dad always said better in than out…

"How can you say that?" Molly seemed incredulous. "It was here Buffy, in the house, living with us for days." Okay, I should make a valid point soon, but what valid point, I don't have one, my plan is kill it, but how?

"And you didn't even know it." That's right, kick her when she's down Chlo…

"None of us knew it." Aww, Xander to the rescue, how quaint and cute.

"It could still be here, it could be any one of us." Vi is so dumb, she doesn't get these things.

"No, the First can only take the form of dead people." Her voice melted me again, and I found myself letting my guard down to anything, I have to at least kiss her before I die, or I swear I'll die wanting.

"Yeah, well there'll be plenty more of those soon enough." Wow, Rona is really optimistic isn't she? "We're dropping like flies here." Then the mutiny in the ranks began.

"Hey, I know you're all scared." Buffy shuts us up before I can get started. "Know what? I am too. But Giles and Anya will be back soon and hopefully they will have the information we need to stop the First." She was right, damn, why can't I think of something to say that's right? "In the mean time, we need to stick together. OK, we're stronger that way. We cannot afford to fall apart now."

"She's right. Where would the Justice League have been if they hadn't put their differences aside to stop the Imperium and his shape-shifting alien horde?" Andrew, ever the comic book geek. Buffy deflates.

"Don't help me."

"Buff, the sun goes down, and Ubervamp's on its way. So a plan'd be good right about now." Xander again, looking up to Buffy, ever the lap dog.

"Will, I hate to ask but-" Buffy looks at The redheaded beauty I have turned back to stare at.

"I know, we need a barrier." She nods, a barrier? So I guess magic isn't all rabbits and handkerchiefs and coins in ears.

"A major one, something tells me this thing doesn't need an invite to get into the house." Well that was a thought to relish, "Can you do it?"

"I'll try." She seems defeated, me heart goes out to her.

"Try???" Rona tries to start.

"You heard her." No one messes with my girl…okay…Not my girl yet…But soon…Soon.

Again with the mutiny, none of these cowards wants to fight, mind you, if I'd been dropped in at the deep end I might not have wanted to fight either, but I'd been trained. Well.

"How are we supposed to do that?" Rona finished her sentence to be backed up by Vi.

"And with what?" They're really starting to annoy me, they're so pessimistic, and not to mention that they wreak of fear, and sweat.

"With whatever it takes!" I look up to the blonde for confirmation, though I don't know why, she doesn't own me…"Right?"

Mutiny begins once more and I just sigh.

"That mean we shouldn't try?" Another validity point for Snivel, that's everyone else at least one, Kennedy, nil.

"There's that word again." Oh for fuck's sake.

"Hey it's a good word." Ha, there, strike up the points, start the band and wave the flag, Kennedy Prescott is back in business, internal nod and whoop.

I stop listening for a second until Xander shouts "What?"

"I said trying is good." Then I realise that Willow's left the room. Crap. Now it seems pointless being sat here with this lot.

I put my head onto the table, my burning forehead welcomes the cool of the wood, while I let my thoughts of Willow drown out the rest of the world, and it's cowardly bickering. I pipe up, "Come on, we're all potential slayers. You know how to fight even if you don't know how you know it." But it goes almost unheard over everyone else, I try once more, "...we can whine like little wusses, or we can get off our asses and fight…" And again…Nothing…So I give up, and succumb to the pull of Willow in my head.

An hour went by and still no sign of Giles or Anya. The sun was down and it was Dawn who noticed the first bringer, in the back yard when she was making drinks, Dawn goes up and up in my opinion today, she's an observant one, but I still don't like her too much. We were all peering out through various boards up at various windows, watching the black cloaks gather, the same kind of black cloaks who killed my watcher. My anger has risen, and I'm beginning to get tetchy. I want to feel the cool of a weapon in my grip, feel the weight of it, the power it gives me.

"There's more of them now." How observant of you Dawn.

"And two more out back " Xander comes in from the kitchen.

"How come they're not doing anything?" Good question Molly.

"They don't want in, they're here to make sure we don't get out…Rona." Buffy pulls a sword from the chest in the middle of the living room, Rona walks forward to it, she takes it, evidently not happy.

"Like this'll do any good, I mean, what's the point." Ha, you walked right into that one.

"It's this end right here, I walk over and point out the end bit, "You stick that in the bad guys, any other questions." Another point to Kennedy, oh yeah. I walk over to the chest, remembering the crossbow, I fiddle with it for a few seconds. "This'll do me."

"Are you sure you know how to use it?" Buffy didn't trust me with a crossbow, but she trusted Rona with a sword, ha. I carry on setting it up for loading,

"Since I was eight." She hands me the small wooden stakes. Nice.

I walk away and sit on the couch, loading didn't take too long, but I took a few minutes to appreciate the craftsmanship of the crossbow, smooth and metallic, ever my favourite choice of weapon, though I doubt I'll ever know why.

I stand once I've loaded it, though I could have done it stood up. And I walk off, in hope that I'll find Willow, and I'm right, she's in the hallway…Making a candle float in mid air! "Wow!" I scared her and she obviously stops concentrating, 'cause the candle falls back into her palm. "You really can float stuff!"

"Just testing." She sighs, that sigh made my heart skip.

"Oh, right." I remember a conversation I had with Snivel about Willow. "Heard this voodoo once turned you into the big scary." I watch the way she blows out the candle, my breath almost catches, and my insides burn with want, with where I want those lips. "Big, scary Willow…" I think about it. "That's something I'd almost like to see…"

"No, you wouldn't." She seemed strict and sure, I'd mocked her and she didn't like it, and I felt bad, and scared, of Willow, normal Willow.

"I said almost." I try to make it right. But I don't think it does, I think this thing haunts her, maybe it even controls her.
"I needed to make sure. Last time I tried using magic, The First—it turned it around on me. Got inside. I felt it just surging through me, every fiber of my being. Pure, undiluted evil. I could taste it." Jees…Nice, but I'm curious.
"How's evil taste?"

"A little chalky." I would have laughed at the face, were she not so serious. I just nod.

"Guys." We both look over at Dawn. "Something's happening." We walk into the living room.

"Oh my God." It's Rona again.

"Here it comes" No shit Buffy.

Willow starts chanting as soon as the door goes, and when it caves in a barrier forms that it appears not to be able to penetrate.

"It's working." Chloe seems disbelieving, I'm shocked too, but not because I doubted Willow, because I'm not up on magic.

"For the moment." Vi, ever the optimist, her and Rona should get married I swear.

"Will…?" Buffy's voice makes me look over at the girl of my dreams, her eyes are charred black, and glistening as she struggles to hold the barrier

She pulls a face, struggling to speak, I'm entranced by those eyes, deep and sucking, "It's—it's strong."

"It's hurting her." I can feel it, I don't know how I feel it, but I do, pulling at me from inside, like fire ripping through me.

"Hang on, Willow." She can't, even I can see that.

"I don't know." She can't

"She can't hold it" Thank you Dawn, I knew that already.

"What do we do? What do we do?" I think that's quite obvious Rona…

"Run. Everybody run." Thank you Blondie for the sane vote…Run…And we all did, for our lives.

The bringers rush us when we get outside, but we get 'em good, I even manage to aim and shoot one right in the head, dead bringer, that one was for Robert, my watcher, my dead ex-watcher. We all legged it out of the garden, me trying to re-load while running, something I found I was rather good at. We stopped halfway down the street,

"Okay no bringers following, I guess they'll save us for old snaggle-tooth." Xander and his trying to lighten the mood wasn't welcome in my 'stay focused or die' way of thinking.

"Where is the Turok-Han?" Willow asked, I couldn't speak for everyone, but I didn't want to know.

"Right behind us. Time to split up." That was way too Scooby Doo for my liking.

"Split up? We're splitting up? Is that wise?" Molly had a point. Damnit.

"Willow, take everyone and find a safe location." Buffy was in charge, and she wanted us all to know it. Willow just nodded, like an obedient servant, but she missed the 'yes master' bit off the end.

"I know a place." Xander filled the space where that comment should have come in.

"What're you gonna do?" Aww Snivel's worried about Blondie. Cute. Internal vomit.

"I'm gonna try to slow the Turok down." That's the stupidest idea I ever heard. "Lead him away from you guys, get him to chase me."

"Buffy you can't take that thing on yourself." Dawn's eyes are full of fear. Would my sister be that way about me…Ever? Did I care?

"I'll stay." I wanted to fight, I was ready to fight.

"No!" She cut me down, I don't like being cut down, it makes me angry, and I was already angry. She stole Andrew's holy water, and he had a slight fit, then Buffy began her orders once more.

I drag Andrew away in the same direction as Willow is running, with a sudden urge to shoot Buffy for annoying the hell out of me.

I didn't realise where we were headed, I'd only been outside a few times in the past week, and I had no idea of how Sunnydale was set out. Turns out we were going to a building site, full of shoddy scaffold and dusty cement. Joy. We had to shimmy down scaffold, to climb more scaffold, it was grating on me. Seems we're on the building site of Sunnydale library. Nice. They start to complain about the spreading out idea Xander puts forward. But I get distracted, I always get distracted. But this time I had good reason, there was a Turok glaring at me within running distance.

"Or it could just skip that part and come straight for us." I can't take my eyes off it, it's locked onto me and I can't move.

My reflex's jump into action, and I don't even look down as I set the spring on the crossbow, this is gonna be fun. "No, no, no, no, no." Chloe, could you shut up, and right on cue she does, and I start to concentrate, now…where to shoot this bastard.

The lights come on, glaring spotlights from all angles, I turn back, as does everyone else. And there she is, to save the day. Steal my limelight why don't you. I don't want to miss this shot, I take aim and unlatch the safety grip. Willow touches my arm, "Just watch." She says, in a desperate way, I would have been more angry had it not been Willow that said it, how could I possibly ever be angry with her? So I dropped my weapon and did as I was told, Buffy seemed to have a way of making everyone lapdogs, and I was conforming. Shit.

So I climbed the scaffold and watched, I was close to Andrew, so when Buffy finished her speech, "Welcome to Thunderdome." And he said,

"Two men enter, one man leaves." I god cold shivers down my spine that made the hair on my arms stick up. I could hear nothing else, my ears stopped working, all my senses except sight failed me, the only thin gi could watch was what was happening in the ring, my heart wasn't even beating, I wasn't even breathing. The Turok threw Buffy into the scaffold where I was stood, and I dropped the crossbow in shock, being brought back to earth with a solid bump sent me weak as my heart pumped blood ten times faster than usual and my lungs screamed for air. And still all I could do was watch, nothing else. She shot him with my crossbow, now why couldn't I have been the one to do that? I could have done that ten minutes ago. If I could have spoken, I would have whined about it, but I couldn't, my voice was lost, probably crushed by the fact that my heart was in my throat beating so loud I could hear the blood in my ears and the backs of my eyes sent spots into my vision, it was a head rush, a real live head rush. From fighting, proper fighting something that I'd thought impossible to kill.

I thought at one point, when it had her by the neck that in around two seconds I'd have slayer senses, then I got that guilty feeling again and shook my head as she snapped off the arrow in its heart and jabbed it in the eye. She got it in just the right position and took its head off with barbed wire. Nice touch. Then there was me, and all I could do was stand there. Dumbfounded. Blondie was rather awesome after all. She swiped the dust from her hands and looked up at us, "See?…Dust…Just like all the rest of 'em." She began to walk our way, while we all stared in shell-shocked silence, "I don't know what's coming next, but I know it's gonna be just like this. Hard, painful." Sounds like straight sex to me… "But in the end it's gonna be us, If we all do our parts, believe it," I looked at Andrew, he was just as shocked as me, "We'll be the ones left standing" She seemed rather smug actually, "Here endeth the lesson." And she walked off.

I smiled, a really, really smug smile, I was the only potential who thought she could do it, no matter how much I disliked her, and once again, I'd been right, no matter holmium I'd wished it was me doing the fighting, I'd been right. She was powerful, and amazing, and everything I hoped to be someday. And so I smiled, and shimmied down the scaffold first, just because I wanted to walk right behind Buffy, damn my being a lapdog, but man was she good.

It was late when we'd all eaten, and I was definitely ready for bed, no slayer stamina yet, training and almost battle was quite enough to send me into deep slumber thank you very much. But Buffy seemed hyped, she was all stitched up, courtesy of my Willow…Yes I know, not yet, but I can still call her it can't I? Then she headed out to find Spike, knowing that the First couldn't hurt her by itself, and the Turok was dead. And no one stopped her, not Xander, or Willow, or even Giles, who was back from his travels with Anya, and neither could tell us anything worth hearing.

I did stay up and wait for her, in the end it was just me and Willow awake to see her return, all the other potentials were sock on, Andrew was laid out with them, and Xander snoring on the sofa, just me and Willow, talking. Me making a fool of myself all over again.

"I was eight when I first touched a crossbow." It was like…How people say they feel when they hold their first born. I looked at it and it enchanted me, drew me in, that was it, hooked for life." I blushed a little, only for a split second, it's not something I intend to make a habit of either. Willow laughed, then sadness swept over her face.

"Yeah, I felt that way the first time Tara and I…" She stopped to think a while, I didn't push her, though I was dying to hear, "Did a spell." She looked at the floor, evidently fighting tears. Her head shot up when Buffy and Spike fell through the door.

POTENTIAL

Willow and I never finished our conversation. When those two fell through the door it was a case of Redhead to the Rescue, and I just stomped off to bed, annoyed that they had chosen that particular moment to burst in. Yes I know he was hurt, but the girl had slayer strength, so what if she'd just fought and killed a Turok? Did that mean she had to be melodramatic about saving her stupid bumpy-headed boyfriend. Lots of internal sighs. So anyway…

I hate training, it's boring, I've been training my whole damn life, and now I'm sick of it, and I'm sick of Buffy's speeches, they make me sleepy, and I'm sick of night lessons too. Yesterday night was really stupid, Vi and Rona are hopeless and Molly isn't much better, and me? Well let's just say I hate Spike, SO much. Though if I do say so myself I was better than all three of them put together, I got him on the ground…But then he rolled me over and pretended to bite me, which I must say sucked really bad, you'd think he'd think about flossing, or breath mints or SOMETHING! Oh, and Buffy really wanted to get off with him, it was dead obvious. Stupid Buffy and her stupid vampire lover who pretended to bite me with smelly breath. Internal sigh.

But here I am, today's a new day, and guess what I'm doing…Oh yes, you got it, I'm training, with all the idiots. I still don't put myself in the same category. And I want to see Willow. Rona's doing my head in with her pessimism. It is just a little wearing after a few days. We're bickering though, like always, about push-ups and chin-ups, I can do one handed push-ups and Rona can't, she does chin-ups, and I don't think they count. Everyone else is quite welcome to their own argument. Oh and Buffy's pacing while Snivelling Dawn sits on the stairs, just watching.

I'm still arguing with Rona when I hear an axe smack into the bull's-eye, my head snaps up and I look at Buffy. Ow…rush of blood to the head, but at least I stopped talking, which I think was the desired effect of the axe. You're all gonna die." What the hell? I turn to look at Buffy, my eyes almost bulging out of my face. "But you knew that already." She starts to pace. Wonderful. Another Buffy lecture, just the thing to wake you up.

"'Cause that's the cool reward for being human. Big dessert at the end of the meal. Don't kid yourselves, you guys. This whole thing is all about death." She stops pacing and looks at us; I resist the urge to roll my eyes. "You think you're different 'cause you might be the next slayer? Death is what a slayer breathes, what a slayer dreams about when she sleeps. Death is what a slayer lives. My death could make you the next slayer." If only you'd drop dead though. Shit, there's that stabbing again, the one that says 'stop being a brat Kennedy; she's trying to save your life'.

"Oh, goody. Rapt attention. I love that so much." Am I paying attention? I'm not too sure, but she thinks I am, so that's always a plus. She goes over and yanks the axe out of the target. "Now, where was I? Ah." I think I'm going to switch off soon, I know I shouldn't but I can feel my brain shutting down and my eyes getting heavy…No…Must pay attention, stop being a spoilt child and listen. It could save your sorry ass life. And so she carries on, me trying to pay attention. "If we go with what Anya's resources are telling us, then The First is in remission for a while, which we think means advantage us."

"W-what does that mean?" Duh, Rona, it means we're at an advantage. Jees this girl is slow! "About the First." Oh. Give her chance to finish Kennedy, God, you're so judgemental. Shut up you. No.

"Best we can tell, he, or more precisely 'it', was putting a lot of stock in that UberVamp thing, the…Chaka-Khan." Oh God, she did not just say that…

"Turok-Han." Dawn jumps in from the stairs, but I don't think anyone else heard her, or at least no one acknowledged they had.

"So when I kicked his ass, the whole First-y circus decided to back off for a while. The good news? It probably means we don't have to worry about it pulling Spike's strings for a while." Oh because that would be a real shame for your Blondie Boyfriend wouldn't it? "Here's the half empty." Oh because all that before was such good news. "Time away means time to re-group, and part of that time away means coming back stronger than ever. The odds are against us…Time is against us, and some of us will die in this battle." I avert my eyes as that stabbing pain comes back. My head screaming, let it be her, let it be her, I wanna be Slayer-girl. "Decide now that it's not going to be you." The thought hadn't entered my head today, but now you come to mention it, thanks Buff!

"I know you're all tired." She walks over, "Far away from home, anxious, but you're all special. Most people in this world have no idea why they're here, or what they wanna do, you do…You have a mission, a reason for being here." I think about that, my life has a meaning, most religious people spend a lifetime questioning the meaning of life, well, this was my meaning of life. To save the world, or at least help. "You're not here by chance, you're here because you are the chosen ones." Cue cold shivers and goose bumps. Then she goes off, up the stairs, mentioning something to Dawn about school. Ah, school, thank God that's out of the window. Man I hated that place.

"You coming?" My friend Carrie pulls the sleeve of my ridiculous private-school uniform.

"Nah I'm good." I really can't be doing with double Chem right now. I sit my ass on the wall, Carrie smiles and sits next to me, she takes out a packet of cigarettes, I forget the brand she used to smoke, and lights one up, offering me one like always, and like always I shake my head.

"Oh yeah, slayers don't smoke huh?" She laughed at me and blew the smoke in my face. I wrinkle my nose and punch her on the arm.

"So, you have fun after I left last night?" I grin, remembering the night before.

"Ah, it was okay, bet you copped off with that blonde trash though didn't you?" Carrie answers me and inhales once more.

"Oh no." I groan, here they come.

"Oh look, it's the dyke and her middle class friend." Kelly.

"Fuck off Kel, I'm just tryin' to wind down." I sigh, picking up my bag and jumping down from the wall. Carrie goes red, her parents work, they aren't rich or anything, they just want her to get 'a good education'.

"That hurt my feelings Kenn, wanna come closer and say that?" Right on cue her two pals show up, lipstick wearing whores, the lot of them. If I hadn't have seen the houses they lived in, I'd think they were trailer trash.

And me, being the idiot I am went over, "I said…And I quote…" I leaned closer, "Fuck." A little closer, "Off" Right up to her nose, "Kel." Bang. Wow, bright lights, ouch. I hold my nose, shit. "Okay then, you asked for it."

I hit her in the side and trip her up, and then her two sidekicks join in. Before I know it, I've knocked all three out and I'm stood, with one of my shirt sleeves hanging off, and I can't find my tie.

"Kennedy Prescott!" I roll my eyes, it's behind me. The head teacher, Mrs. Clarke. "What on earth have you been doing?"

"Honest, I swear they started it." I shout, banging my fist on the head teachers polished oak desk. My stepmother is looking at me in horror as I display yet more violence.

"I'm sorry, she seems to have gone downhill since all this lesbian business came about." My step mum says, rubbing her manicured nails on her blouse to buff them up a little.

"Yes well, I'm sorry, but she has been in too much trouble, I will not tolerate it. Please remove her from my premises and find her somewhere else to go." And that was it. Education over. From then on I had a private tutor, who taught me nothing but the Karma Sutra. Sweet.

"KENNEDY!" I snap back as I feel Rona hit me around the face. "Oh, you back?" She says pulling me a little. "We're meant to be sparring." Well I certainly had the anger to do that now.

"I'm uh, going…for a shower." Chloe said a few minutes later. And when she came back she had a grin wider than anything I've seen before. Strange.

"I walked in on Xander." She said, smiling even more. "He's…niiiiiice" Oh God, please spare me the details of Xander's penis. I roll my eyes and exit to find juice on that thought. Shuddering.

I poured the juice and sat down, Willow came into my head, and not for the first time that day either. She looked so sweet when I woke up this morning. Made me all cuddly inside. All I wanna do is put my arms round her and wipe that sad look off her face, she looks so down all the time, I know it's apocalypse-time again, but the other day she was on about jokes in the face of death, so far the biggest joke was always on me…Every time I get near her I screw it up somehow. Oh wait, stop thinking, there's someone talking to you.

Willow's in the kitchen when I look up from my juice, I hadn't realised I'd tranced again. Twice in one day is not good. "Huh…What?" I say, stupid, dumb ass freak. Why did you say anything at all?

"I said, does that taste good, I've never tried it." She smiled, washing the pots in the sink. I scramble up,

"Uh, I don't know, I haven't drank any yet…Here let me help you." I grab a towel and start to dry, Jesus, you're not even with her yet and you're like a lapdog.

When we're done I grab a tin of spaghetti from the cupboard. "You want lunch?" I ask, pulling the ring so the top of the can comes off.

"That would be nice." She smiles, I grab two spoons and go in the cupboard to get another can, I pull the top off and pass it to her, with the spoon and dig in. She looks at me funny, like I was meant to heat it up or something and then shrugged and copied me, before pulling a face and putting it in a pan to cook.

"You do know you're meant to heat it." She said, with her back away from me, I'm stood behind her catching flies as I stare at her ass, spaghetti juice running down my chin, I swipe it away and try to focus enough to talk. "Uh, yeah, but I know I'll just eat it while it's heating and by the time it's 'hot enough' I'll have eaten it all, plus you have to do more washing up that way, my way you wipe the spoon with the cloth, rub it on your jeans a little and stick it back in the drawer, stick the can in the re-cycling and no one will notice you were eating between meals again." I look away, as Willow turns round.

"Don't look at me like that, my family hated it when I'd pig out in the kitchens with the cook and then refuse to sit down to eat with them, I'd get grounded for it." Willow's face looked a little shocked and I cursed inside my head for mentioning my wealth again.

"Your family, you don't talk much about them." Willow took the heat off and poured the spaghetti into a bowl, taking up the spoon again.

"Don't need to, they don't feel like my family." I mumble, sitting down next to her and trying the juice, "It tastes nasty by the way." She laughs slightly, then becomes serious again.

"How come you feel that way?" She looks at me, with those deep penetrating green eyes and I get lost. How am I meant to answer without making a fool of myself.

"Uh, well, my Dad was hardly home, which suited my step-mum, my real Mum divorced him because he was a jerk, and still is. I wish I knew where she was." I almost go off into one of my trances, but pull back and continue, "Erm…My Step-Sister was, and probably still is a Barbie doll, you know, the kind with the hair and the shoes and the boyfriend."

"Cheerleader?" Willow smiled.

"Uh, no, we don't have those in England, pity though, I might watch football if we had cheerleaders." Willow blushes as I grin. "My Step-Mum was hardly home either, she would be out on shoots, or shopping, and when my Dad was home we'd have all these parties and I'd have to be on my best behaviour. But I'd just climb out my window and go clubbing with Carrie."

"Carrie your girlfriend?" Willow didn't look at me as she said it.

"Hell no! My best mate, never did we…" I trail off, searching for the word, but Willow nodded, so I guessed she got the point, "I've never had a girlfriend." I look down at the juice swirling in the glass.

"Why?" I could feel those green eyes on me. "I mean, how could you not have…" She looked away, I felt her gaze drop and I looked up, so maybe she did like me. Nice.

"Oh I have…" Again with the trailing off, "I just never…uh, stayed with them?" It was said kind of like when you're trying to say something in the way you think would be best for them to hear it, an answer like a question. "Not because I didn't like them or anything, just because…My family…They…Wouldn't have let me…And I…I wasn't…But…I am…Now…Shit." And I get up to walk out.

"I know what you mean." I heard her say, as I shook my head and made my way back down to the basement.

Rona and Vi left to get food not long after, but it sounded more like a cat-fight within around five minutes, and then I heard Andrew and Xander join in. And the door go, and Buffy's voice…Was it that time already?

It was late when I finished up though, and dragged myself into the shower, I saw Willow as I went into the bathroom and tried to give her my best, 'I know I made a prick out of myself earlier but I'm hoping you forgot by now' grin, and shut the door behind me. The shower is either too hot, or too cold, it can't just be okay, it's crap. So one second I'm freezing and dithering and the next I'm leaping out onto the tiles because I got scolded. Either way I somehow manage to wash. And then I can't be bothered to change my clothes, so I just pull them back on.

I use Willow's room, our room, to dry my hair. And smile to myself when I hear someone come in, hope it's her. "Buffy wants you downstairs, she said you gotta pick your poison…Though I think she means weapon…In fact, I don't know what she means, but you should go find out." Her face seemed lost in thought, so I just shrugged and flipped my now-dry hair back over my shoulder and handed the hair dryer to her, going down the stairs.

Rona, Vi and Molly were already in the kitchen when I walked in, man-handling weapons, I go to reach for the crossbow, but retract my hand, remembering the conversation Willow and I never finished. Dawn starts to try and make us feel guilty about not involving her, so I rub the salt in a little, as I grab a dagger, "I'm thinking tonight, we might actually get to kill things." With my biggest smile, I see her face fall a little, God bless the pathetic Snivel.

"I've killed things…Sometimes." She tries to look good, but Buffy and Andrew walk in arguing because he wants to come with us and Buffy doesn't want him to.

After a few minutes of him going on about DragonballZ, which I have no idea about. Spike walks in, we all say hi and then we're off to see the wizard…Or should I say graveyard.

"Grab your weapons." Buffy says as we turn to leave, I choose…Dagger and stake, and leave the kitchen, following the peroxide puff.

Several side streets and nothing to see later and Buffy drags us into a building, a bar. "This is a bar!" Rona looks around, we all look around.

I walk forward, faster,

"Best damn field trip I ever took." I can't help my grin, remembering good old England and it's 18 policy on drinking.

"Look, they're all-" Molly points, and I look.

"They're demons! It's a Demon Bar, like a gay bar…Only with demons." I sigh at Vi and roll my eyes. Typical.

Some demon refers to us as snacks and I grab at the dagger in my pocket.

"Nice job of blending in girls." Spike turns to us.

"We're a bunch of fifteen year olds in a demon bar…How much blending did you think we were gonna do?" I laugh, and then get offended when I think about it…I'm not fifteen! Then Buffy starts whatever lesson we're learning tonight, but all I hear is "Or have a strong drink?" Which comes from Molly. I look hopefully towards Buffy, can we have a drink Buff…Please?

"Not usually that…" She says frowning.

"You don't drink?" I almost laugh, not believing it.

"Sure I do." oh, so you can drink if you're a slayer. "I mean…No, that would be wrong…" Yeah, right.

"Do they card?" Vi asks, I'm guessing that means I.D. shoot, I don't have I.D. why would I bring I.D. on patrol?

"Nope, go ahead." I grin, is she serious? "Order all the Yak Urine and Pig's Blood Spritzers you like." Ew, that is the definition of Demon bar. Ew.

I'm still grossed out about the sight of the drinks here when Spike starts on about the prices, and how he'd go and get human blood instead of pay them, he then makes up for it by reminding us he's a vampire…Creep. Then Buffy goes on, and my brain goes back to sleep for a while, while I smile and nod.

Some demon comes up after she makes a comment about how everyone here would gladly rip her throat out. Then they start hugging…What is this girl? Friend or foe here? I'm starting to wonder, I lean over to Rona,

"He's ripping her throat out right now." She laughs and I smile.

I just stare while they catch up about…Television? Then she goes to have a 'private word with him'. Probably promising him sex later if he goes away now. Knowing Buffy, it's possible.

"You think she dated him to?" I have to ask…Rona just smiles.

Then he nods and walks over, Buffy introduces us to him, "So you girls are gonna deal with demons huh?" I nod, everyone else does too. "Just let me tell you this, he beckons us closer, and we all lean in. Then there's this 'smoosh' sound and all his face comes apart. I step back, almost mortified, that is so wrong on so many levels it's not even comprehendible! He has three snakes in there somewhere, and these leaf like ear things! Internal and external shudder.

The bar was only a short stay, Buffy found out about a crypt that Klem thought a group of Vamps were living in. I got to see what demons substitute as crisps, which is dried mealie worms, and then we were off to the crypt.

"A vampire is an animal. Sometimes they run in packs, sometimes alone. Who can tell us where we are?" A crypt maybe Buffy, or at least that's what you told us…

"It's a nest." That could be another word for it…

"How can you tell?" She shoves the flashlight into Spike's hands.

"Only a vamp could live like this." I state, plainly obvious though the fact is, I figure I might as well get brownie points for it.

"Some, yeah. As a group, we're not known for our tasteful decor, but in all fairness to the race, this place is seriously lacking in style." Style? This from a vamp wearing a leather jacket with bright blonde hair and brunette eyebrows…Yeah right…
"Thank you, Spike."

They bicker a moment until Molly butts in. "Where'd you live?"

"What, you mean before? A crypt actually, but nicer. A bit more—I don't know if posh is the right word, but it was more like—"

"Comfy." What the hell Buffy?

"Excuse me? When did you find it comfy?" It had to be asked. So I asked.

"Moving on." I must look pleased with myself as everyone else tries not to laugh, including me. "You want to stay alive, you have to spot and identify a nest on sight. Look around, all of you. Look for signs that just last night maybe a dozen, two dozen vampires were right where we're standing. Go ahead."

I raise my eyebrows, but stalk off anyway, Vi follows me and Rona and Molly got he other way. They find a body…All the luck…

We go over, but Buffy lifts its head and then smacks it back down, "It's not a body…It's leftovers." I hear it snarl as it scrambles to get up.

It starts towards Buffy, and I find myself backing off. He would be just a normal guy if it wasn't for the face. "No one's safe. Not here, not ever. See this guy?"

"B-but he was dead a minute ago." I'm quite scared, which is strange, I think it was from the dead to un-dead thing that was hitting home.

"That was a minute ago…Now…" She punches him.

"Hey!" He shouts.

"He's the enemy." He lunges for her, knocking her short ass flying through the air and into the step.

She's up again and he's rolling over, "You can't think too much. Reacting's better. Could be the difference between staying alive and that other thing." She punches him and drops her stake, I see my chance to help and try to move in as they fight fist over fist. Spike holds me back, again ruining my life.

"The question is never 'what do you think?' it's always 'what do you know?' You gotta know it. If you don't, if you make one mistake, it takes just one vampire to kill you. So you've got to know you can take him. Know your environment. Know what's around you, and know how to use it. In the hands of a slayer, everything is a potential weapon. If you know how to see it. When you're fighting, you have to know yourself, your brain, your body. Know how to stay calm, centered. Every move is important, every blow's got to be part of your plan 'cause you make that one mistake, and it's over. You're not the slayer. You're not a potential. You're dead. What do you know? Right now, the only thing you know for sure is you got me." At that she stops fighting, and drops the stake. What the hell is she doing? She walks out of the crypt and Spike follows, locking us in. I stand there, and my blood stops pumping, everything in my mind freezes, I feel my hand going to the stake in my pocket, screw the dagger, the hell that would help…

"We're just four helpless girls!" Vi yells. Like that would do any good. I watched as he lunged forward and Molly took his legs out. Rona pulled the mace from Vi's hands and cracked him straight round the jaw. Me and Vi stepped forward and I kicked him in the kidney, weiling my stake the whole time. Molly cracked both his knees with two kicks and he fell to the floor, I kicked him around the head as Vi pulled his arm back, Rona held him down, his legs bent beneath him as he yelled and hissed through fanged teeth. Molly stood on the arm that Vi wasn't currently dislocating and I staked him right in the heart. Suddenly Molly's foot fell through a cloud of dust, Rona found herself holding down the concrete flooring and Vi was choking on dust. Molly stood back, we all stood back and smiled, I kicked the door, "He's dust, let us out you homicidal maniacs."

We were barely out of the cemetery when we were bombarded by Anya, Willow and Xander. Next thing I know, Anya and Willow are herding all of us back to Buffy's while Buffy, Spike and Xander go on a 'Save Snivel' mission. Willow gave us cookies, man would I like to bake cookies for her…If I could cook…And we were talking.

It wasn't long before Buffy got back, with the rest of the troops, no one missing…One extra in fact…Amanda, who I have to admit, I felt sorry for. She reminded me of Carrie, without the cigarettes. Downtrodden, and smart without working for it. I have to admit I liked her. Not like I did Willow, I just felt like I had a best friend again, for the first time since I got here…Like Carrie, who I hadn't seen much of in the last year or so.

In fact, by the end of the night, I was almost in awe of her, if I'm honest…She staked a vampire all by herself the first time she met one. She hadn't known anything about being a potential, or had any idea how to fight, but she must have had instinct, and that made her alright by me.

KILLER IN ME

"Willow, I really don't feel good." I put on my best fever face as she puts the thermometer in my mouth. This is such a cheap shot, but it has to be done. "You can't go on the trip with a temperature." She coos, making my heart melt and my body feel guilty, I blush because I'm guilty but hope it looks more fever-y. She leaves the room for a second and I heat the thermometer up on the lamp next to the bed.

She comes back in with a wet flannel and dabs my forehead. I sniffle like a snotty nosed child in nursery and she smiles as I snuggle under the covers, not realising I'm only trying to make myself warmer, she looks at the thermometer and looks back to me…You don't feel that hot to me. But she shrugs and keeps dabbing anyway. I shut my eyes, "I don't feel that hot either, I feel freezing…" I fake a shiver and cuddle further under the covers.

"Warm me up." I try, smiling beneath the blanket and looking up at her with puppy dog eyes.

"Don't even try it." She swats my visable arm and heads for the door.

"I'm gonna get you some tea." She heads downstairs. Ah yes, tea fixes everything doesn't it?

I'd already heard the door go and I was out of bed before she had gotten all the way downstairs. It hadn't been awfully long since Amanda had joined us, but it was long enough for Giles to have decided to take us on a field trip…Me be away from Willow and Willow's room to go to the middle of nowhere and see Giles do the hokey-cokey with a stick…No thank you very much…That was not happening. So I made with the faux sickness for around 12 hours, and Willow looked after me, which I could definitely get used to. And…of cause because I was running a fever I could say anything I wanted. And believe me I took advantage big time.

I scrubbed my teeth and brushed my hair, I was pulling my boots on when Will walked in…Damn it I'm already calling her Will…At least I'm out of the habit of calling her mine…To a point…

"I heard that the best thing for a cold is a nice hot cup of…Boots?" She looks at me, all magically recovered and I can't help but feel bad, but it is for a good cause, honest.

"Hey." is all I can muster to say, but I say it with a smile, in the hopes that she won't send me packing.

"For someone who's sick you look surprisingly robust and casual dressy." She gives me a look that makes the pangs in my heart pang.

"Well the lighting in here's good…Maybe it's just-"

"You were never sick…" It hit her.

"No…I was never sick…"

"Oh you are so busted." Damn it Kennedy, think girl! "Xander's gonna have to drive you to the desert-"

"Willow! Chill…" I stand up, "There's a reason I didn't go…I have a thing…A separate thing…" I grab my jacket, brace yourself for the letdown.

"What?" She looks crestfallen, that's never good…

"Something's coming down." And I wish you were going down cough did I just think that? "I have my own mission." Which involves you, me and the missionary position…"And I need your help."

She agrees, somewhat reluctantly, but spends the whole time questioning me, about where we're going, why we're going etc. I'd find it cute was I not so freakin' nervous. Hang on…I'm nervous?…Kennedy Prescott is nervous??? Write that one down guys 'cause it don't happen often where I come from is Coolsville, and that's not where Scooby and the Gang live either…

I somehow sweet-talk her through the door of the Bronze, God only knows how, and I even managed to get her to sit and stay at the table while I bought cocktails. And also, and I have to say the most amazing part was…The fact that they let me buy cocktails…In America…When I'm only eighteen…Oh yeah!

After the first song gets around half way through, Willow starts to get antsy. "This is a mission?" She looks at me with those raised eyebrows and I could just reach across the table and kiss right now, but I don't…because that would be wrong…But satisfying nonetheless. Think…How to answer…

"Oh…Yeeeeah…" I nod, trying to look convincing, Kennedy, you're an idiot.

"And the pink umbrellas are a signal for what?…We're not on a mission are we?" She twigged, Damnit. Think girl…On your feet, think.

"Hey…Trust me, I told you…I have a thing." Shit Kennedy she's getting up to leave, say something to get her back here, "Come on, come on, just hang out with me a little?" Great, you sound like you're twelve now. Oh my God she's pouting, "You look sexy when you pout." Oh my God did I say that out loud, keep a smile, pretend it was meant to come out, just smile and flirt, and for God's sakes STOP BEING A FREAK!

"Why do you do that?" To be honest Will, I don't have the foggiest why I did it, but I'll answer…

"To get you to stay." Is the best you can come up with, damn it Kennedy you're so whipped. But she's walking back, so it's okay, Jees you're such a brat when you don't get your own way…Am not…Are…

"Alright I'll stay for one drink. Then I'm going home." She's sat back down, brain cells in my head have a party, no matter how dumb you are I don't care 'cos she's sat back down…Yay!

"Okay, one drink, I can work with that…Let's start with the easy stuff, how long have you known…" She's looking at you like you have two heads Kenn, make it easier, "That you were gay?"

"Wait, wait, that's easy?" Aww her fidgeting is so cute I just want to leap across the table and…FOCUS KENNEDY, Willow's talking…"And what? You just assume I'm gay, I mean…Presume much?" She looks offended, this is really not working out for you is it Kenn? Shut up you…

"Okay sorry, so how long have you enjoyed having sex with women?" I grin, can I talk to Willow this way, I mean, I've spoken to plenty of girls the same way, just Willow's different to me…But her blushing is too cute to not provoke.

"Hey!" She looks more offended, but she's blushing…I giggle like I'm innocent and hope to God that she is blushing and not reddening with anger…"What you think you have some special lesbidar or something?"

If it wasn't so cute I would have ripped her for that comment.

"Okay, you do know there's a better word for that right?" I watch her sip her drink and get shivers at the images it produces, "You really haven't been getting out there much have you?"

"Well, I just—can you always tell just—just by looking at someone?" Hell I wish! There would have been so fewer embarrassing moments in my life if you could tell just by looking, did she seriously think that I hadn't just spent the last month or so checking out everything I could about her history so that I could get her into this date and NOT look like a total twat.

"No. No, of course not. That wouldn't be any fun. The fun part is the process of—of getting to know a girl. It's like—it's like flirting in code. It's using body language and laughing at the right jokes and—and looking into her eyes and knowing she's still whispering to you, even when she's not saying a word. And that sense that if you can just touch her just once everything will be OK for both of you. That's how you can tell." Okay that was way too Shakespeare, give it a Kennedy twist will you before she really does brand you a freak, I sit back and give her a shit-eating grin, "Or if she's really hot, you just get her drunk—see if she comes on to you."

"Three years ago…That;s when I knew, and it wasn't women, it was woman. Just one." Wow, wish it would have been that way for me.

"Lucky woman." Is all I can say, I think I just lost my heart to the bottom of the glass.

"No, no, I was the lucky one. I went all…Uh…But she stayed…Well, for a while…And then when I…She came back and…Uh, never mind." She shook her head, not a topic for a date.

"So, do your parents know?" Good Kennedy, change the subject, well done.

"Yeah, my Mom was all proud, like I was making apolitical statement, and then the statement mojo wore off and I was just gay. She hardly ever even met Tara." I can't help but give a little 'humph'.

"Classic." My dad never wanted anything to do with anyone I slept with, anyone I hung out with or anything I did. So long as I didn't get our name in the papers, or at least not one he ever saw it was okay. I was okay. And my step Mum, well, I'll think about her later, I normally do.

"I didn't mind, Tara and I are kinda private." She still isn't over her, screwballs.

"I'm sorry." It's all I can say to stop myself crying, both for the badness Willow feels inside and the fact that my heart just shattered in the bottom of my glass. "It must've been-"

"Were." She says it firmly, almost spitting it, like my Step-Mum would spit my name. "Private." I look at her, but she looks away.

"Do your parents know?" She looks back up again, at me. I swear all the blood must've drained from my face.

"They do, yeah, but it's complex. In England, my Dad, he's really well known, it's not like I'm allowed to do what I want, It'll ruin his reputation. And I…used to do it, don't get me wrong…Me and Carrie would party every night of the week and I'd wake up next to someone new pretty much every morning, but my Dad, he was never there to…I mean…Uh, yeah, they know. My Step-Mum blames it for my school thing…" Why did you just say all that? Did it have a point to it?

"Your school thing?" She is looking at me, rather pointedly.

"I uh, was kicked from private school, and spend two years having 'relations' with my home tutor. So I failed quite a lot of my subjects. Except P.E." She looks away, shit you've done it now Kenn.

"What happened?" She wants me to explain…Uh, okay…

I go into great detail about Kelly and Mrs. Clarke and my Step-Mum, and how they thought just because I was a 'dyke' meant I wasn't as good as them. And then she understood.

"I hate that, you know I never had that really, everyone was alright with it, it was the witch stuff I had the most problems with…" She sips her drink again, I wonder if she realises how much booze there is in it…Hmm.

"Why?" I have to ask…Don't I?

"Well, I almost got burned at the stake once. But I'd rather not…" Okay, I get it.

"Okay, I get it." I nod, drinking the cocktail some more.

"So when did you know?"

"I was five. It was 'Gone With The Wind'…I saw that and I just knew I wanted to sweep Scarlet off her feet." She laughs.

"You were five." I guess it was a little young, but still, the first woman I ever liked. Yep.

"I'm not saying the sweeping woulda been easy." Would be if I was the slayer. I eat a cherry and she looks at me with those eyes, those eyes that ask me a thousand questions every time I look into them. "What?" What's she thinking?

"I still don't get it…" She looks away and then back again. "Why you like me…" Jesus she really hasn't been getting out much. "I mean…You don't even know me…"

"Have you seen you?" She's blushing again…Cute! "And we like the same things—Italian, skate punk, Robert Parker mysteries, fighting evil…"

She shakes her head, smiling at me, and my heart heats up and starts beating faster, I'm gonna spew Shakespeare again in a sec, I can feel it in my belly. "I don't like any of that stuff. Except the—the fighting evil part. Even then, I prefer a nice foot massage." Aww…I'd give her so much more than a foot massage.

"Okay, I dig the way you always turn off the Moulin Rouge DVD at Chapter 32 so it has a happy ending." She laughs, I don't know if she's laughing at me, or at herself, "I like the way you speak. It's interesting." Not drawling like most. She smiles at that. "And your freckles...lickable." She blushes and I decide to be honest. "I'm not so into the magic stuff. It seems like fairy tale crap to me, but if it matters to you... You care about it, so it's cool." She's still smiling so I guess it didn't hurt her.

"It's really late…" Willow smiles, "And your time's up…My glass is empty." She stands to leave, but I grab her hand.

"One dance?" I plead her with my eyes and watch as her resolve face crumbles slightly, she nods and I grin, I win.

I don't hold her, we just dance, looking at each other, lost in each other without touch. And when the song ends, I follow her off the dance floor. Then walk her home.

"This is my stop." She stops at her bedroom door, I feel like pulling her inside, slamming the door shut and ravishing her right now, but I don't. "So…glad we talked." She turns the light on. That's it? Wait a minute…

"Yeah, kinda cleared the air huh?" I step towards her slightly.

"Yeah. Totally, air cleared. Check." She doesn't look or sound convincing but by now I can't control myself anymore.

"You know in the spirit of air clearing,"

"Yeah?"

"I feel like I need to be honest about something…"

"Wh-Is something wrong?" She looks so worried as I step even closer.

"No…No, it's just…I think…" I lean in really close, "You should…know…" And I kiss her, oh God. 'm kissing Willow, this gorgeous redhead is kissing me, and sparks are making my whole body tingle with shocks. Now I really want her, I want her so bad I can feel my heart in my mouth, feel her mouth on mine, I brush my hands on her hips slightly and my body burns up. I pull back and open my eyes, smiling.

"Well that was nice." Jesus Christ and Holy Hell, what in the name of…I just fell back into a table with a lamp on and smashed it. That wasn't Willow's voice, and that wasn't Willow stood in front of me. What the hell is going on. I feel dizzy…and sick.

"Are you okay?" The man asks, looking concerned. I think I'm going to be sick, or faint, whichever one isn't going to be pleasant. "I'm not used to literally knocking girls off their feet with just the power of my own lips." He gives me a nervous laugh but all I can do is stare in horror. "Okay, are you gonna pick that up or…"

"I don't…W-What are you?" I'm really quite scared, in fact I don't think I've ever been more scared.

"I-Is this a freckle thing 'cos…" Something hits him and he goes over to the wardrobe, he sees his reflection in the mirror, "Oh God! Oh…God." Okay he's as scared as me, that's a good sign.

"What…Is that?" I don't even know how to word it my head is spinning so fast.

"It's the man that I killed." He pulls back from the wardrobe to look at me. He's almost crying. "I'm sorry." And he runs from the room…Is that really Willow in there?

I go after him…her…it…"Okay, hold up a sec…"

"Guys…" Xander, Dawn and Anya all stand back.

"Get Buffy, get Buffy, tell her the First is back." Xander protects Dawn and Anya. Which I'd find cute if I wasn't still freaking out.

She…He…Takes a long time explaining that it's Willow inside. And then leaves, to try and 'fix it'. I follow because I'll be damned if I'll let her get killed as well as kiss me and turn into a dead person all in one night. I go the other way around the block, hoping that I'll be able to cut her off. And when I find her, she jumps, like a little girl.

"Okay…Safe to say no one will ever accuse you of being too butch…"

"Kennedy…" It's that warning tone, the one that my Step-Mum would use right before wielding one of my daggers at me. "Go home."

"Come on, I mean…You turned into a guy!" Which is rather humorous, "I mean if you take a step back, seriously, there's a certain element of humor here, right?" She turns to glare at me, a piercing glare, of a dead guy. "Well, a really, really big step."

"I killed him. It's hard to see the chuckles." Jees I hope she doesn't stay this way, A) it's making her cranky, and B) his speech impediment is annoying.

"So you got a plan?" I figure if I act like I'm going nowhere she won't make me leave.

"Yeah, get some help reversing it." Huh?

"I thought you were gonna try it yourself."

"I did try. Something's blocking me." Hmm…

"All the more reason for me to go with you. Plus, I was there when it happened. Lemme come to try to help too." I feel really bad…It was partly my fault, maybe if we hadn't…If I hadn't…She stops walking and I almost crash into her.

"I really think I'm fine with the handling."

"By yourself? Why?" That was it…She blames me…She's never gonna want anything to do with you ever again…You stupid, stupid…

"I'm the one that killed him. I— It's hard to understand." Well I get that, do you blame me though? That's what I want to know…

"Given. How 'bout I just tag along anyway. Keep you company." She sighs, see even under that skin, she's still there, my girl…Oh damn, I did it again, she IS NOT your girl…Not yet anyhow… "I'm taking that as a yes."

"Fine. Come." She starts walking again. "Try not to get in the way."

"You know where you're going?" I wonder…

"To see some old friends of mine. It's been a while, but maybe they can help." Oh this should be fun…

"Witches right?" After a few minutes I have to know…

She…He…Just nods, and I tag along, because I know if I don't I could lose her.

We reach a theatre-type building and she walks round to the side, the dressing room entrance and walks down the corridor. "Well this is new." And Jesus there's a whole ring of women with glowing pink crystals around their necks. Weird. Woah…They're not all women. Even weirder.

And after everyone gets to know each other, here I am. Sat in an auditorium that smells like sweaty feet. Watching an old friend of Willow's try to reverse something I caused. Nice work Kenn. Oh wait, something's happening. The glowing ball thing-y burned Willow and she's stood up.

"It didn't work?" Amy asks her.

"No it didn't you dumb bitch!" Warren-y Willow slaps Amy right around the face.

"Willow!" I shout, damn I sounded like my Step-Mum then.

"You slapped me!" Amy's in shock.

"No, I didn't. It wasn't me." She pauses, realisation of some sort hit her. "It was Warren."

Amy holds her cheek and Willow makes a run for it, I get up to run after her.

"Willow…Willow! Okay, you're upset…" She turns to look at me, his piercing glare bores straight into me.

"Upset? Upset! Are you just tuning in? Did you not see that?" She pauses, as if I'm meant to react. "I'm turning into him. It's not a trick, it's not a glamour. I'm becoming him. A murderous, misogynist man. I mean, do you understand what he did? What I could do? I killed him for a reason." You have to calm her down, making her angry is gonna make it happen faster…

"Getting angry isn't helping. We can still try to—"

"You understand nothing about magic. In case you hadn't noticed, our little date—it's over." Those last two words…They broke my heart again. Completely.

"Willow!" I try to follow but a force field blocks me, "Willow, wait!" I sigh and shake my head, kicking the wall really hard before going back inside. But no one's there except Amy.

"Where'd they go?" I must look confused beyond anything, because I feel confused beyond anything right now.

"They took off. It was a little too creepy, even for us. You're really worried about her. Look, she's gonna be fine, really. She's good at this. She's strong. And she's dealt with a lot worse. Long before she ever went out and found herself a big old potential slayer bodyguard, OK? Just have a little faith in her." Wait hang on a second…

"I never said I was a potential slayer." She looks straight at me, innocent as pie.

"Oh, no, I think you did. When you first got here, you told us…" I bloody didn't, because I know I wouldn't.

"No, I didn't." I walk up closer, "How did you know who I was?" She smirks, and now I want to slap her

"Oops."

I take a few moments to let is sink in, and also to stop myself from lunging at her and killing her. "Tell me why you did this to her"

I lean forward, ready to kill her but with one flick of her hand I'm gone, straight into the chairs, by magic. Now I'm scared.

I struggle to stand up, my legs are shaking so much, "What did you do to her?"

She smiles, the kind of smile I smile when I get my own way, "What, to Willow? Oh, just your standard penance malediction is all." A huh what-y what? Eh?

I don't give up, and just walk back over. "Okay, and that's magic crazy talk for what?"

"I put a hex on her." She smiles, like it was a great achievement. I already got that.

"I got that part. But why Warren? And why did it happen after we kissed?" I must look really dumb to her, and weak too. I believe in magic now by the way.

"Oh," She laughs at me, I hate that. "That's rich." She comes over, like a snake. "That must've been some kiss. You must be good." If I didn't think she'd suck my soul out or something from Harry Potter I'd have kicked her ass…But I'll settle for talking…

"Answer me."

"The hex I cast lets the victim's subconscious pick the form of their punishment. It's always better than anything I can come up with. Elegant, you know?"

"Undo it. Let her out." I clench my fists, God I really want to kill her so much…

"Okay. Oh, wait, I forgot…no." She is really beginning to get on my nerves…

"Why would you do this to her? You really hate her that much?"

She goes on about power and all this crap and about Willow giving in to evil. "She almost destroyed the world! And yet everyone keeps on loving her?" She comes right into my face and I have such an urge to spit at her. "So what's wrong with having a little fun, huh? Taking her down a peg or two?"

"Fun?" I can't believe she said fun… "She's disappearing. Fading away in that creep, and you think it's fun?"

"It was just a game. It's not my fault if she's losing herself." Oh my God, she's like a kid with no responsibility to anyone or anything apart from herself…

"I'm gonna stop you now, you know." Yep. That's me, Kennedy the Brat.

"Hey, I'm not the bad guy here. But I wonder where he'd be right about now…"

A hell of a lot of wind whistles past my ears and I find myself in Buffy's back yard. I look around, making sure that that is where I am. "Well, that was a hell of a thing." Great. Now I'm talking to myself. Cue eye roll.

Willow comes storming around the corner, carrying…Wait is that a gun???

"Think you can just do that to me? That I'd let you get away with it?"

"Do? Get away with…" I'm confused, and my head feels no better when she lifts up the gun and points it at me. I back off, I don't wanna die today. "OK, let's not get excited." She walks closer and I freeze.

"It's too late for that. This is what I am. I made it happen, and I'll make it stop." I think she might be having a break down…

"Willow, what did you make happen?" I don't get it…

"You were there, bitch! You saw it!" Did I? "I killed her." Her?

"You mean him?"

"Her…him…" The gun gets pointed straight at me again. Make mental note: don't anger someone you're being aimed at by. "You know what I mean."

"You said her." She did…

"No, that was Warren." I'm confused…What was Warren?

"No, no it wasn't. You said I was there. Who did you kill, Willow?" She killed Warren, that's a he, but when did she kill a girl?

"It was your fault, slut." Huh? Me? What? Slut? "You tricked me. Got me to forget." Shit…I know now…

"Tara.…"

The gun gets steadied at my head for saying her name, bad idea Kenn, gonna get yourself shot in the head today…

"Shut up!" There's tears in her eyes as the gun begins to shake again, "Shut up! You do not get to say her name. Offering it up to whoever's there. Tricking me into kissing you. I didn't…I didn't mean... what I'm saying, I-I can't make…Kennedy, I can't hold on...He's winning." She looks so lost as I stare at her, I walk towards her as she drops the gun down by her side,

"No…"

"I'm being punished. I k…I kissed you just…just for a second, but it was enough. I let her go. I didn't mean to." The tears run down her face and I want to pick her up and hold her forever. I feel so awful, I helped her tear herself apart…

"Kissing me didn't mean th…" I'm such an asshole, I mean, I could have just not kissed her, left it…

"No, she was never gone. She was with me. We should have been forever, and I…I let her be dead. She's really dead. And I killed her." She falls to her knees and I go over to her. I want to make it right, but I don't know how.

"Willow, no." But she isn't listening to me, she's begging Tara…Or rather he sky…

"Please, baby, I'm so sorry. Come back. I'm sorry. I'm sorry! Come back…" She is crying so hard now my heart feels like it will burst. I kneel right in front of her and lean close. I think I know what to do. I'm no witch but…

"Willow, I don't think you did anything wrong. This is just magic. And I think I'm figuring the whole magic thing out. It's just like fairy tales." I lean right in and go to kiss her, but she pulls back in shock.

"What are you doing?" I try again, leaning closer to her,

"Bringing you back to life." This time she lets me kiss her, it feels different, I can feel his lips, brash and cold, instead of Willow's full warmness. But when I pull back she's there, my girl's all there. I sit back and smile. Is she my girl now? I'll have to ask later…But right now, I'm just being cocky…

"Hmm. I am good."

"It's…it's me?" She starts feeling herself up, something I want to do right now… "I'm back? Oh, God…"

"Are you all right?" She looks a little wiped…

"I have no idea." I help her to stand up "I'm so tired."

We walk up into the kitchen, with me holding her weight.

"Yeah. I'll make you some tea."

No one was home, so I tucked Willow up.

"I'm so sorry." She says, those green eyes hit me and I take the gun off the bed-side table.

"It wasn't your fault, it was mine." I turn away, contemplating actually shooting myself at the same time.

"No, no it wasn't, because for that moment, I needed you, I still need you." Her eyes well up and so do mine I turn to look at her.

"Does this mean?" I look away, don't push Kennedy…

"I don't know, can we…Can you just…Hold me?" I slip the gun into the top drawer out of sight.

"What about the tea?" I ask grinning. She shakes her head.

"Don't want tea…Want snuggles…" She holds her arms out to me like a small child that wants picking up. I shrug out of my jacket and spoon behind her, my body hums with wanting more, but I ignore it, choosing instead to keep my arms wrapped firmly around her. I kiss her shoulder and she settles into me, I cant help but smile. Kennedy the Brat. With her arms around the most gorgeous redhead in Sunnydale, all snuggly and sleepy, and…In love? Wait a minute…

FIRST DATE

This week has been SO amazing! I think as every day has gone by my heart got bigger and my mind got smaller…I am one great big pile of Willow-Goo. I follow her, I can't concentrate, I want to hold her all the time, we fall asleep together every night…And I love every minute. She's not ready yet so we haven't done…anything like that, but I'll tell you something, one Willow-kiss is ten thousand times better than a 'steamy one-night stand'.

She hasn't announced it to anyone officially, but I don't think she needs to, I can't keep my hands off her, any time I'm within touching distance of her I have to, I hold her hand under the dinner table (whilst discretely rubbing the top of her thigh of cause) I'm still Kennedy after all. We kiss in the lounge when we think no one's looking, we even had a picnic the other day.

I swear if things stay like this I'll stop being such an atheist. She is the most special thing to me, and I'm getting used to the idea that I might actually be in love with her…But I'm not gonna tell her that just yet, because I'll sound like a freak…Hell, I am a freak…

Willow's gone all protect-y on Buffy. Damn I'm starting to think like her, let alone talk like her. So now I'm looking over her shoulder while she hacks the worldwide web for information on Buffy's date. If you ask me, anyone who wants to ask Buffy out is suspicious enough, either that or insane, without having to do all this illegal hacking!

All the information we can find is all dated after he came to Sunnydale,

"Well that's suspicious." Again with the talking to myself, is there a course you can take to stop that? Would you shut up? I'm concentrating, no you're not, your smelling Willow's perfume, give it up smoosh puppy, you got it bad. Okay now you really have to shut up, or I'll…I'll…Go get a frontal lobotomy, then you can't talk to me…HA! Fine, I'll shut up…

Oh wait, something just got dropped in front of me. Holy crap… They're… Pictures? Yes Kennedy, but look at the pictures, that's it, closer now, there we go. Oh God, they're like flash cards! Apparently Giles made them, for our new Chinese friend with the shits. Nice, make her so scared she can't get to the bathroom Giles. You clean it up, 'cos I'm not!

"Willow's been totally making out with this girl…" That's not fair, I stand up straight and pout,

"Hey!" She just shrugs and carries on going, I don't actually think she realises her blunt ignorance half the time. I just stand and roll my eyes as everyone goes on, then I look at Willow and let my heart melt into her, I do that a lot instead of plug my ears these days.

After everyone's gone, it's just me and Willow. I lean over her shoulder closer, so I know she can feel my breath on her neck. "Do you know what I want more than anything right now?" I smile as I see her blush. And Andrew comes running in.

"Willow, Willow, I don't know what to do!" He begins, I roll my eyes and sigh.

"For it to be just me and you again." I finish in an annoyed tone and straighten up to give him the dead eye.

"Jonathon came to me…The First, he said I had to kill the girls. I don't wanna kill 'em Willow, don't let him make me!" He's nearly in tears, had he not interrupted my sex speech I'd have felt sorry for him.

"That's easy then geek, don't kill us, duh." I just raise my eyebrows as if it was an obvious answer.

"Yeah I know but…" He starts to whine and I switch off, looking at Willow's fiery hair all I want to do is spin her around to face me and kiss her 'til I can't breathe anymore.

In about half an hours time I'm sat with Amanda, Snivelling Dawn and Will in the basement while we tape Andrew's First-y conversation. She looks so cute when she's concentrating, and I'm just sat staring at her because I can't help it. She frowns and pulls the headphones off, gasping. I hope she's okay.

"What? What's going on?" I can't help but ask, her face just then made my heart skip a little with scared-ness, she looks panic-y and then she puts the headphones back on and looks confused, is it not working?

"You think this was smart?" I hear a voice I haven't heard before in the room and look around, what was that? Willow jumps and grabs her pad and pencil.

"Wait. I'm hearing something."

"You think you can trick me, women?" That voice again. I stand up and look for where the voice is coming from, taking the headphones from Willow's ears.

"It's not in the headphones. It's out here." It was a nervous comment and again thinking out loud but I said it.

"You only hear what I want you to hear. You only see what I want you to see." A rotting corpse appears in a flash like the one Eve disappeared in. He looks in a bad way. I back up, man it smells too, sweet but sour and dead as a dodo, a stinky dodo. Amanda screams. The rotting corpse speaks…

"So many dead girls. There'll be so many." I'm guessing it was the First then…

We packed up and gathered in the living room in an effort to cheer Andrew up. I personally couldn't care less if he wet his pants and ran screaming down the street, but Willow thought it would be good to get the wires off and make him feel better. As it was, Giles and Spike beat us to him, and wanted to know why we wired him.

"You tried to recall the Ultimate Evil? Why? In a royal attempt to piss it off?" That's Spike for you, almost as good a humour as I have.

"Guess we succeeded pretty good huh?" What is that? I can't even speak proper English anymore, I speak Willow-ish now. Internal sigh again. I switch off while everyone says their piece, thinking about my plan for tonight.

I look over Willow's shoulder as she reads a text message, it reads: -

From: Xander

The bunny likes cheese not soda

He's a weirdo. "It's one of our signals." She says.

"Signals?" Amanda is as confused as me evidently.

"Yeah, the system we set up a while back. Like codes. Uh, this one's either 'I just got lucky, don't call me for a while' or 'my date's a demon who's trying to kill me.'"

Well huh? "You don't remember which?" She makes me smile, I love her so much.

"It was a long time ago." Bless her, I could kiss her she's so cute.

I get Dawn to make me scrambled egg on toast. I can't cook for toffee fudge cake. "What's it like being a potential?" She asks sighing as she hands me the plate and sits next to me.

"In what way?" I have no idea, I like it, some don't.

"The you get all my sisters attention way." She mumbles into her glass of juice. That's why she's jealous.

"Hey, for me kid you could have all her attention, the woman pisses me off more than people with no dress sense." She snorts a little but still looks sad. I put my arm around her. "Look, she loves you and she doesn't want you to get hurt in all this. Hell I don't want anyone to get hurt in this." Except maybe Buffy so I can be slayer, again cue that annoying panging pain in my heart. I wonder if I have surgery and get my heart replaced with a real stone if it would still do that pang thing when I feel guilty…Hmm…

Dawn cries for a while and I stay long enough to finish my scrambled eggs, so as not to look rude after she made them, then I make excuses and go upstairs to avoid the hub-bub in the living room.

Amanda's in a sleeping bag on the landing. I go over to her, "Hey." Is all I can think of as I slide down the wall onto the floor.

"Hey." Is evidently all she can think of to say back to me.

"What're you thinking about?" She looked deep in thought.

"That I could be at home right now in my own bed, I only live round the block." She smiled, seemingly happy enough where she was. Chao-Ahn walks past and down the stairs in a night-gown I'd kill to see Willow wear, but I'm focused on my conversation.

"Tell me about it…Except I live in England, not round the block…But I got nice comfy Willow-bed to sleep in, plus, nice comfy Willow to sleep in it with." She blushes at my forward-ness. I just shrug.

"Were you ever…You know…Straight?" She asks, not looking at me.

"As in did I ever fancy a guy? Or as in did I ever sleep with a guy?" I laugh.

"Either." She shrugs, evidently embarrassed by her own question.

Chao-Ahn storms back upstairs angrily. I'm still ignoring her though.

"Neither." I answer her, "Never fancied one, waste of space if you ask me, and definitely never slept with one, the thought of that…Ugh, I shudder to think." And I do actually shudder, involuntarily. She laughs…a lot.

Commotion from downstairs dies down and Willow emerges at the top of the stairs.

"Anyway, I'll see you in the morning, got things to do." I wink at Amanda and nod my head towards my redhead, smiling wider as Amanda blushes and snuggles back into her sleeping back, I run up to Willow and wrap my arms around her.

"Bedtime?" I ask, with that 'I want it now' look in my eye.

"Yep." She says as I let go and lead her into the bedroom. We change, seemingly not looking at each other, but in reality we're just looking when we think the other isn't, and then we climb into bed. I snuggle right up to her and kiss her neck, I touch her face, feel her skin beneath my hand. I watch as she shuts her eyes and I lick her ear a little, breathing into it hotly. I run my hand down her collar-bone and I almost reach her breast when she stops me.

"K-Kenn, don-don't." She breathes. Don't what? Don't kiss, don't lick, don't touch? What?

"Don't?" I say, more of a question than a statement, but I pull away like a shot nonetheless. I feel rejected for the seventh time this week and I just turn over, pouting. She sighs and puts her hand on my shoulder.

"It's not…It's just that…I don't" I fill in the gaps for myself, in my head it sounded something like this, 'It's not that I don't find you attractive, it's just that I still love her, I don't love you.' And that's enough to make me cry, so I do, big tears fall from my eyes in the dark as I concentrate on breathing normally. In the end I rub my face dry on the pillow and turn back over, putting my arm around her. "It's okay…" In my head I add I love you, "Goodnight…" She snuggles into me, thinking it's all okay again. My heart knows it isn't…My heart knows and my head can't even begin to process the pain.

GET IT DONE

Guess who was up mega early this morning. That would be me, I was up so early in fact that I tripped over Amanda in the dark and went flying. Headache. Joy. So another few days went by and Willow kept turning me down, but this morning after I hit my head and I was making breakfast (just cereal, I still can't cook) Willow walked in and actually kissed me, not the other way around. "I'm still sorry you know." She doesn't look at me. But I hold her face in one hand,

"I told you last night, and every other night, it's okay." It isn't, but I don't want to push her away. I need her.

While Willow's upstairs getting dressed, Buffy comes down the stairs and grabs her denim jacket as I sit with my cereals, amongst everyone else sleeping. "Kennedy, you're up, you're in charge, get them up, start the training, today's no different from yesterday." And then she was gone. Did she put me in charge? Oh HELL YEAH! I watched her go down the street and finished my cereals. Then I began yelling.

"Alright you horrible lot, shift your asses, and get washed and dressed, this isn't a hotel, and I ain't no kinky maid!" They stir, some flag me off, and I just keep yelling until there's a queue outside the bathroom door of sixteen potentials. Plus Xander, Dawn, Andrew and Anya of cause, all looking at me like they were going to kill me.

"Hey you…" I point to Andrew.

"Uh yes…Kennedy…Sir?" He looks scared of me…I like it.

"Can you cook?" I raise my eyebrow, doubting him.

"Yes sir, I can cook well." He salutes me and I resist the urge to fall into a heap laughing.

"Get in the kitchen then!" I scream, right in his face. He winces and then scoots off down the stairs. Nice. I smile, satisfied.

"Oi, you lot." The potentials turn to look at me. "Let Dawn in first, she has school." Dawn smiles at me and moves to the front of the queue, not minding the looks she's getting.

"I-I have school." Amanda raises her hand.

"Not today you don't, today you have training." I say it sternly, but nicely as she puts her hand down.

Xander sighs and resigns himself to not washing again. Willow emerges from our room.

"You in charge today baby?" She asks me as I join her in walking down the stairs to check on Andrew.

"Yep, they're all mine." I grin, proud of myself.

I get in the kitchen and Andrew has food for everyone, I am rather impressed, in no time at all there's biscuits, chocolate, fizzy drinks, crisps, sweets, everything you need for hyperactive sugar-rush. "Andrew, you can't give slayers these things, not when I have to train them!" I sigh.

"Well I didn't have much time did I, and you know they'll love it, let 'em have some fun." He pouts, defending himself.

"Fine, but you're making dinner too, you don't get out of it that easy." I smile and sneak a cookie.

It's half past eleven before I get everyone outside and lined up right. But still, I have my pep talk to do. Ooo I feel all Buffy-fied. "Alright potentials, we have a job. That job was mapped out for us the moment we were born. To protect innocents. This is why you're here." I pace before them, looking unimpressed with the drab fashion in which they are stood. "You look like helpless girls, that's good, but I know you aren't I've watched you, I've trained with you and I know you can kick arse! Today I'm in charge, prove to me that looks are deceiving 'cos you sure as hell look like shit." I stop pacing and harden my face, I put my hands on my hips and scream army-style.

"ATTENTION!" They stand to attention, I could get used to this.

"Punch, block, kick!" I shout. They follow.

"Right stab, left punch, block." I shout. They follow. I hear Buffy's voice in the background and pause for a second, wow, good job I started training. She'd be pissed if they were still in the kitchen eating junk.

"Chamber your energy." They follow. I put my hands on my hips again, and pace.

"Punch block combo!" I shout. They follow.

"Cross block kick!" I shout. They follow.

"Chamber your energy." I shout. They follow. I still pace with my hands on my hips, hoping Buffy sees this.

"Punch block combo!" I shout and they follow, but I watch Chloe carefully, she messes up and ends up facing the wrong way. Internal sigh. Cue angry rage.

"Hold it! What the hell do you call that, potential? Try that in the field, you are dead. Drop, and give me 20." This is gonna be fun, she can't even to six without stopping, hope the sugar helped.

"20 what?" Oh my God does this girl not own a TV?

"Push-ups, maggot!" She drops down rolling her eyes, I have an urge to kick her hand from beneath her but resist it. I turn to face Buffy, and some strange guy who looks like he walked off the set of Blade. I go from angry to giddy in one swift mood-swing. "I love this job! Did you see that? I called that girl 'maggot.'" I acknowledge the new guy, "Hi." But realise I might have shown him too much with my training-ness, "Who the hell are you?"

"An ally." Buffy answers. Oh well that's okay then.

"So, what do you think? My girls ready to kick some ass, or what?" Hell yeah they are, except Chloe, who is just not good enough…

"Looking strong." He doesn't seem convinced.

"But...?" Come on, what's wrong with my girls?

"Well, I'm just not sure the First has an ass that you can actually, you know, kick." True, but I'd like to try even so. I smirk.

"Guess we'll see."

"Principal Wood. Hi! It's so weird seeing you outside of school." Please don't say that that's Amanda. I don't want to be nasty but I have to treat them all the same…I turn to her,

"What are you waving at, potential?" Then I focus on all of them. "Attention!" And they follow, it's amazing, I wonder if Chloe did all twenty, I doubt it…

"Rising sun. Begin." I shout. They follow.

"Punch block combo." I shout. They follow.

"Punch block kick." I shout. They follow.

"Rising sun." I shout. They follow. You know, there's only so much authority you can put forward before it gets boring, I wonder how bored Buffy must be.

"Attention!" I'm losing them, I swear it's the sugar…

"Chamber your energy." They're getting sloppy, and I am too, I can hear Willow's voice and it's putting me off.

"Punch block combo." I'm annoyed now, they were better when they knew someone was watching.

Okay, so three hours later I'm still grimacing, this time they have weapons, and so far I've spent most of the afternoon playing nursemaid. Chao-Ahn dropped a sword on her toe (the blunt end, she just got a bruise). Vi got a splinter in her hand she wouldn't shut up about and some potential I don't even know the name of yet managed to swing a mace into another potentials arm. I won't even go into what happened when Rona got hold of a crossbow, let's just say Molly now has a hole in the shoulder of her jacket. She's bloody lucky she doesn't have a hole in her shoulder if you ask me, that girl is lethal.

"I've had enough. Pack it up." I shout. "Go…eat." And they do, they just drop their weapons and scoot inside. I sigh and start picking them up. Willow helps. "You're good with them you know." She smiles, pulling the arrows from the target boards,

"Ha, tell that to the First." I slump down and put my head in my hands. I feel defeated before I've begun. "If I fight with these girls how they are now, we're gonna lose Will, and that scares me. Just a little." She kneels in front of me.

"My big strong slayer is scared?" I nod.

"I'm no slayer…Not yet anyhow." I would cry if she wasn't here, but she is, so I don't.

"It scares me that you're scared Kenn, nothing much scares you…" She leans in and hugs me tight, as she pulls back she kisses me. "It'll be alright. Somehow." I just force a smile and nod, getting back up and finishing collecting the weapons. She does the same.

All of us are watching TV, except Dawn, who's rummaging through some musty old bag. It's not a TV programme though, it's another martial arts film. We tell them it helps us, but really we just need a break, I need a break. I haven't seen Chloe since I called training off. "Anyone seen Chloe?" I might as well ask.

"She was sulking about you calling her maggot in the bathroom last time I saw her." It was Vi who answered me.

"Want me to go fetch her?" Amanda asks, she seems bored with this film.

"Nah, leave her, she'll get over it." I carry on watching the film.

I'm upstairs discussing training with Amanda and Rona when I hear Dawn gasp really loudly near the bathroom. We look at each other and then run towards it. Buffy's with her, "What happened we heard-" I'm going to be sick, I gasp and stand back with my hand over my mouth, I swear that image will be in my head forever. Chloe hanging there from that ceiling by her broken neck. It will never leave me, I won't let it. I feel like it's my fault, I've been so awful to her ever since she arrived.

"Dawn, get a knife, I'm cutting her down." Buffy is stern, not sympathetic.

"Good thinking. But, on the other hand, why rush? Up or down, I'll still be dead." The First is stood next to Chloe's body, as Chloe. It's creepy…

"You're not Chloe." Well noticed Buffy.

"Yeah, well, neither is she, anymore. Now, she's just Chloe's body." Cold callous bastard.

"What did you do to her?" I want to know so I can blame it on the First, not me.

"Nothing! We just talked all night. Well, I did most of the talking, but Chloe is...I'm sorry, was a good listener. 'Til she hanged herself." The First, as Chloe, looks straight at me, "Like when you called her maggot—she really heard that." I knew it was my fault, I knew I hadn't helped…

"Don't listen to it, any of you. It's the First." We know Buffy, but it still speaks some truth…

"Oh, let 'em. The only reason why Chloe offed herself is 'cause she knew what you're not getting. I'm coming, you're going. All this—it's almost over." Great.

"We'll be here." Buffy sounds sure of herself, I'm not so sure.

"All of you? But wait. I thought…" It morphs it's voice into Buffy's, "They're not all gonna make it. Some will die, and there's nothing I can do that will stop it." Then it changes back to Chloe's voice again "Hey, I didn't say it. But I'll be seeing all of you. One by one. TTFN." And flash it's gone again…

"What's TTFN?" Jesus she doesn't watch TV either…

"It's "ta ta for now." It's what Tigger says when he leaves." Well done for being normal Rona.

"Chloe loved Winnie the Pooh." That was Amanda. Did she? I didn't know…

"Dawn, where's that knife?" Oh dear, she's really not happy about this. I'm now contemplating going and finding that gun Willow bought…Shoot myself before I cause anyone else to want to die…

I go into Willow's room and flop onto her bed after Buffy cuts Chloe down and takes her to the woods. Willow walks in.

"Buffy told me what happened, are you okay?" She sits right next to me and strokes my hair, I try to stop my tears.

"Did she tell you why, why it happened, because of me?" I turn to look at her, I meet her eyes and she shakes her head frowning.

"No, not because of you, not because of anything you did, that thing made Andrew kill his best friend…It made lots of people do lots of crazy stuff…And Chloe is just one of those people, everyone gets upset by things, not everyone hangs themselves baby…" She kisses me on the forehead and holds her hand out for me to take. I do and she leads me downstairs, "Wanna help me on the computer?"

Everyone's mourning when I get down there, it's like a great grey cloud filled the room. My heart is so heavy I can feel it beat in my foot. I really wish I knew the location of that gun…I hear potentials crying, saying prayers, see them comforting each other, I decide to say a prayer for her while I pretend to read over Willow's shoulder.

Hey big guy up there. Haven't spoken to you since my watcher died. Well here I am again. Today I said something really horrible to someone, and they took it really badly, so badly that now they're dead. But you probably already know that, she's probably sat right by you right now, 'cause I don't believe all that stuff about people who kill themselves going to hell, especially since I know what a good person she was. I feel so terrible right now, and I just wanted to let you know that I really feel sorry for the things I said to her, and also that I hope you'll look after her better then I did. Thanks.

I look over as Buffy walks in with a shovel, at least she didn't make me and Molly do it this time…

"Is everyone here?" I sigh, assuming she's talking to me,

"All accounted for…"

"Anyone want to say a few words about Chloe?" No thanks, I don't have a right to say anything… "Let me." Okay. She starts to pace. "Chloe was an idiot. Chloe was stupid. She was weak. And anyone in a rush to be the next dead body I bury, it's easy. Just...think of Chloe, and do what she did. And I'll find room for you next to her and Annabelle. I'm the slayer. The one with the power. And the First has me using that power to dig our graves." Hey, me and Molly buried Annabelle, how dare you steal the credit. She throws the shovel in anger. "I've been carrying you—all of you—too far, too long. Ride's over." Woah there…I stand up and shout,

"You're out of line!" I hear Willow's voice…

"No, she's not." What??? My girlfriend picks Buffy;s side over mine? Oh hell no! I turn to her,

"You're gonna let her talk to you like that? Willow, she's not even the most powerful one in this room. With you here, she's not close." I was telling the truth, but Buffy can't handle the truth.

"You're new here, and you're wrong. Because I use the power that I have. The rest of you are just waiting for me." I'm new here am I, well we'll see…But I decide to let everyone else speak, seems I'm not the only one she offended…

Everyone gets castrated by Buffy and then she calls a state of emergency and breaks out aforementioned 'Dawn's Musty Old Bag'. Buffy called Principal Wood, and I was told I'm not a potential, in less words. Basically all the others are upstairs and I'm down here with the Scoobies, on Willow's insistence.

"We thought you'd want to be here." Buffy talks to Wood.

"Yeah, you thought right." First time for everything I suppose isn't there Buffy?

We all look through the bag. A boomerang?…I don't want to know…No seriously…

Strange drinking mug…I tag this, I hate drinking out of cups everyone else has used…Buffy breaks open a locked box and inside is…Puppets…Huh?

Okay, "That's it, the First hates Puppets! Now if we can just airlift Kermit, Fozzie the Bear, and Miss Piggy into town, the First'll be a-running." Oh hell could he stop making jokes, he's almost as bad as Andrew, leave the funny stuff to Anya, at least she has class…I give him a weird look to show him I don't find him funny at all…

"Those are Muppets." Aww, bless my Willow, she watches TV too. Not like all these weird people who prefer to date vampires and hang themselves…Ow that pang is back again…

Insert big discussion about puppets I'm not listening to here…I find it all rather boring if I'm honest, I hated puppets as a child, if you're gonna tell a story, just freakin' tell it, screw the stupid things that are meant to help, they're pointless and only put you off the meaning anyway…

We spend ages setting the living room up, making sure everything is how Dawn needs it to be…Buffy hit's the lights and Xander lights a match, igniting the wick in the centre of a stone tablet. "Okay." Dawn looks up from her book, "According to this, I think—you put on those puppet guys one by one. They cast shadows and the shadows tell the story. First, there is the Earth." Xander takes hold of one of the shadow puppets. He puts it on the stone tablet. Then a drum beat sounds…

"What's that sound?" Oh my God, do you know anyone who can give me a transplant or a form of 'ectomy' so I'll STOP saying what I'm thinking out loud?

"Okay, so far so creepy." Is Xander's reply, I have to agree…

"Hmm. OK." She concentrates, reading the book, "Then, there came the demons." Xander adds another shadow puppet to the tablet, and growling chimes in over the drum beats. "After demons, there came men." Another shadow puppet, chanting sounds. "Men found a girl." Cue another puppet, and a girl's scream. "And the men took the girl to fight the demon—all demons. They—they chained her to the Earth." Another puppet gets added. "And then—and I—I can't read this. Something about darkness." She sounds scared, and the stone tablet starts spinning all on its own. Do I really have to stay here Willow? Really? I feel Willow grab my hand. I guess I do have to be here…"It says you cannot be shown. You cannot just watch, but you must see. See for yourself, but only if you're willing to make the exchange." Damn Snivel is good…

"When did you get so good at Sumerian?" Xander asks the question I wanted to.

"It's not in Sumerian anymore." Huh?

The shadows start moving on the wall and the noises get louder, Willow lets go of my hand and stands up, I stand too, scared…

I look around, nervous and…well…scared shitless…Then I almost have a heart attack as the stone tablet does a First-y flash and morphs into a porthole, probably to another dimension…Or another part of time…

I must admit I am really getting something proved to me by this magic stuff, guess it didn't like being called 'fairytale crap' after all. I believe now…Does that make this any less scary? Nope…

Buffy decides she has to jump in, and after a short discussion she jumps in. Like Buffy does…Just jumps in…Yep…

"What was that about an exchange?" Anya asks, and a big demonic creature rears it's ugly head out of thin air.

"Ah, this must be our exchange student." It grabs Xander by his shirt and throws him.

"Willow, use your magic, send him back." See, told you I believe didn't I?…

She concentrates, "Um, Trying…Redi!" She goes to do the 'poof' thing with her hands but he grabs her and throws her into the wall…That's it, no one messes with my witch…No way…Wood jumps forward…Hey, I want my go!…

It throws him down too, "Weapon!" I shout and Dawn throws me a sword from the corner…Convenient…I take hold and run forward weilding it. Dawn tries to help but it throws her back first, then forces my sword downwards and I manage to punch it, ripping my knuckles open as it throws me too…

"Get out of here—all of you. Unless you want to end up all dead and useless." Spike gets hold of him from the back, nice.

"What're you gonna do?" Again with the thinking out loud…My hand hurts…

"What I do best." I takes the demon and starts smashing it up…I want to do that, but I know he's right, and I know I have to protect everyone else, just in case…I go to get Willow and run but it throws Spike through the ceiling and breaks through the glass doors and out through the front.

I take a look at my hand, I hope it doesn't scar…It hurts enough to scar…

"Are you injured?" Dawn puts her hand on my shoulder, bless her.

"Just a little, don't make a case out of it." I shrug her off, more worried about Willow.

"How bout you?" I ask Dawn back, checking to see if Will is alright first.

Anya mentions Spike, "Is getting thrown through the ceiling what he does best?" Man he has a lot to learn…

"I'll go check on him." Dawn leaves the room, she's so caring…Where did she get it from, 'cos it wasn't Buffy, that's for sure…

Willow's conclusion on recent events, "We need Buffy." I just look at her, no fucking kidding, but I don't know why…She's not focused and she doesn't care…Long discussion about Buffy, including Willow deciding to go magic-y again, "You don't even know where she went." I tried to sound smart, but it came out more like a put down towards Willow's abilities, I'm not too sure she's impressed with me right now…

"Dawnie, what's the book say?" Xander asks as she flips through the pages. Blank.

"Not much, after Buffy left it got a little harder to read…" She shows him the blank pages…I can't help but think we're screwed right now, and that my girlfriend is on the verge of opening up a very nasty old wound that hasn't healed properly yet…

"Oh…" Willow sounds scared, I try and reassure her,

"It's okay, we'll just start with what we know, take it from there…" Unsuccessfully reassure her but still, I'm trying!

"Okay so we know Jack about Squat…Let's go from there." Pessimism Xander, not good…Trying to help Willow here, hello?

"You've got the magic, use it." I try for something forceful, se if it boosts her into action…But no…

"I-I-I don't even know what magic to use." She's doubting herself, I don't doubt her…Think of something Kennedy…

"Why not just try all 32 flavors. Worst thing that happens is you go brunette." I don't want her as a brunette but if it makes her believe in herself again…She grabs the first aid kit and glares at me with a death stare…Woah…

"That's not the worst thing that can happen." She seems really sure, so I won't question it, I knew it wasn't to start with, I just want her to do something…

"She's right. And you know we have a choice. We can risk Willow's life and the rest of our lives to get Buffy back, or we leave her out there." Why didn't I think of that…Good going Anya…Ow, TCP stings…I pull my hand back and glare at her, she looks at me, "Sorry." Wow, she didn't say that, it wasn't…She didn't move her lips,

"How did you…?" I think hard at her…

"Wow, you can do it too?" She almost smiles.

"Willow, how would you get Buffy back?" Her head snaps towards Dawn. Danit that was a nice moment too!

"That's what I'm saying—I don't even know." She's losing herself again.

My redhead goes on a science mad head, talking about physics and the laws of…I never really went for that stuff…Kinda never really did much science, my biology teacher was way too hot for that when I was at school, and after my 'incident' well, the only science I did was all practical…

"Magic works off physics." She tries to finish, but Anya's all tetchy.

"Not without a catalyst. If you're talking about transferring energies, you need some kind of conduit." Anya knows magic too? Anya knows anything but sarcasm…Wow…Call the news channels and raise the flag…

"Like a-a Kraken's tooth." A what now? I don't want to know, I don't want to know, I don't want to know…Nope…

"Yeah, skin of Draconis, um, ground up Baltic stones, something…" Anya grasps at straws, thinking of magic catalysts…This is way too complex for me…I liked the parts I understood…

"Okay. Good." Dawn's trying to get a list together in her head, but something hits me…

"Plus, we need an exchange, like you said. I'm thinking a slayer for a demon." Which means I might be of some use, I can play go fetch for Willow, I'm her lapdog afterall…

"Right. If we want Buffy back, then we have to find that demon and send it through." Yep…My thoughts exactly…But…

"It matter if it's dead or alive?" Just wondering…

"I vote dead. The slayer's counting on you, Willow. Get cracking on that portal, and don't be stingy with the mojo. The demon's mine." Oh God Spike and his bruised Ego are back and at the doorway…Man he looks bad…

"Hate to say it," I use air hyphens "'Big Bad,' but you look like you can barely stand. We're trained. And the only thing we know for sure about this demon is it kicked your ass." And I want to be able to help instead of get my hand bandaged…Which stings like a bitch by the way…

"It did, at that." He goes towards the door…

"Where are you going?" Wood asks my question again…

"Something I need." Yeah, a brain, maybe…

Dawn runs after him, she needs a bodyguard to the Magic Box I reckon. And when she returns with a bagful of stuff I know I was right…She hands it to Willow, "Try that." She says, smirking with ego. Willow pulls out a small bag and starts emptying it in a circle on the floor…Green sand? Magic is stupid…

"And this is gonna help us how?"

"The sand forms a circle. The circle acts as a barrier. And the barrier contains the portal." Oh, thanks Dawn…But just to clarify…

"Now what? We hold hands and chant kumbaya or something?" That would be funny, I haven't sung that song since primary school. Willow hands me the sandbag. Gee, thanks Will…

"Maybe. 'Til we get the magicks up and running, I'm kinda working on my best guess here." That's very reassuring…

"Will, maybe we should wait." Why Xander?

"For what?" Ah, my mouth again…My thoughts…Seriously need to do research on an operation…

"Spike—to see if he can bring back that demon." He could be right but…

"No, I don't think we should wait right now. Opening a portal this size could take days." I agree…Do I?…Yes you do, Willow said it…Oh…Right…

"Better get started." Again my mouth, what's with that today?

Willow begins to fidget, "I think I might pee my pants." Say something Kennedy…Make her feel better…

"You can do it—the magicks, not the pants thing." Just so she knows…

"Okay. Via temporis, iam clamo ad te, via spatii te jubeo aperire. Aperi!" Nothing. She turns to Dawn, "Dawnie, you'd better put on some coffee. This could take awhile…" There's a gigantic flash and my world goes black, I feel myself get thrown back and I hit something. I test my movement before I open my eyes, I'm okay, not too hurt, just…Oh God, I opened my eyes, fuzzies…Lots of fuzzy shapes. Blink Kennedy, BLINK! I blink until I can see straight, then I try to get up…Willow's still in the circle, but her hair's being blown by wind from nowhere and I'm guessing, though I can't see, that her eyes are that mystifying black again. She's shouting in Latin, and then she decides to screw the latin and starts screaming in English. Xander doubts her,

"Give her time, she's getting it." He expects everything yesterday. That's my job.

"Or something's getting her, Will I think you better back up a little." She growls and throws her hands back, I feel dizzy and cold…Then I feel like every inch of my being has been sucked from me, inside to out, I fall to my knees and prop my hands up to steady myself. My eyes are almost bulging out of my head. Her hair's gone black and the portal is opened. I still feel cold and dizzy but I think I have most of me back. Probably a few things missing…

Xander grabs Willow and pulls her from the circle, her hair goes red again and I'm just knelt before the portal, my eyes wide, unable to move with shock and weakness. Am I still here? Am I alive? Am I me? I feel my face and my body, well I think I'm me…Memories and events keep hitting me from the past, my first kiss, my first training session, my first bike, the summer home, my sister, all popping up in random order, it hurts too, I guess like when you get amnesia…What the hell did she do to me?

I'm still knelt there when Spike gets back, dead demon in his arms. I just stare as he throws it into the portal. Then it's Buffy stood there, no portal. Xander's still cradling Willow, I'm pulled up by Spike just as Buffy appears, Any stands up on her own, Dawn's rubbing her back, Spike looks knackered. All Buffy can do is look at us. Is that shame I see on her face?

I feel hollow as I drink a glass of water in the kitchen. I don't feel like I'm drinking though, I just feel empty. Really empty. The memories keep hitting me though.

14 years ago: Airport in Brazil

"Daddy, why isn't Mama coming too?" I can still feel the sting of tears in my eyes, the way they tickled as they ran down my cheek. The way my Dad looked at me when he ushered me through the airport security.

"She doesn't love us anymore." Was all he said to me. But I knew different.

I can feel the tears stinging my eyes now, but I won't let them fall…Another thought hits me, like a headache below my eye.

14 years ago: Kennedy's old house in Brazil

"Jackson I'm not arguing anymore, I'm tired. You're never here when I need you to be. She was cutting vegetables on the chopping board in our kitchen. I was stood by the door, unnoticed.

"I'm never here because I'm working Maria, I work so you can have this house, so we can afford to keep your horses, keep your expensive hobbies and keep our fucking daughter!" He lost his temper and grabbed the knife off my Mama, holding it to her.

"I'm not scared of you Jackson, and I'll be damned if I'll let you talk about Kennedy that way. Put the knife down, I want a divorce." My Dad dropped the knife, to the floor.

"What?" I never heard the rest of the conversation, I ran up the stairs. No one ever mentioned that conversation again.

I finish my glass of water and head upstairs, wondering why the hell I was getting flashbacks and what the hell Willow did to me…Oh my God…She sucked the life out of me…That's why…I'm only just getting my life back, she stole it from me…

"Hey," I feel her hand on my shoulder, "You okay? You've been kinda quiet since…" She trails off, not wanting to say it, well tough 'cos I'm gonna say it for you…

"You sucked the life out of me?" Is that the right term?

"Yeah, since then. Look, it's important that you know what I am, what I'm like when I'm like that." Well now I know…Gee thanks Willow…

"I thought it would be... I don't know…cool somehow. It just hurt." It still hurts…

"I'm really sorry. It's just, you were the most powerful person nearby, and—well, that's—that's how it works. That's how I work." Yeah…Well…

"I got that. You told me. I'll see you in the morning." I go into Willow's room and shut the door in her face. What the point was I'll never know, because a few seconds later she followed me in, it is her room after all. Only difference is, tonight…I'm on the floor, not in comfy Willow-bed with comfy Willow. Tonight I'm not so sure who I'm dating anymore, and I need to think…

STORYTELLER

It was around four days until I re-joined Willow in Willow-bed. She'd apologised numerous times, but the memories that kept hitting me were so strong I just couldn't forgive her until I knew everything was back where it should be, or I'd just end up mad again. So this morning is my first morning of the last five that I've woken up with Willow in my arms. She was just looking at me and smiling and I knew I'd done the right thing in forgiving her. Even if I still wasn't getting any…

It's still early, even though I queued for the bathroom for around an hour, and then spent half an hour in there with angry door banging while I made my hair do what I wanted it to, which today was randomly designed by the fact that I couldn't concentrate on anything except Willow and my sexual frustration. I ended up with weird little plait things in random places, nothing much else. And now I'm now at the breakfast bar while everyone else gets breakfast, absent-mindedly ignoring Andrew and his video camera and pouring juice into a glass. He carries on talking, and funnily enough, I carry on ignoring him as I pour fruit loops into a bowl and douse them in milk. The one thing I'll say for Americans is damn Fruit Loops are good.

I tune in for a slight second, "If we don't save the world then…nothing matters." Hmm, that's optimistic Amanda!

"That's catchy Amanda, we should make that our slogan." I wave my spoon and let my face show exactly how sarcastic I'm being, before continuing with my breakfast. When I look up from my empty bowl I notice everyone's eyes on Buffy. Oh God it's another speech. I don't think I can stand another, quick, drink your juice and stare at her, look like you're listening.

Last night : Living Room, Willow's sat on the sofa and Kennedy walks in eating a bag of crisps.

When I walked in I could see she'd been crying, sat alone in the living room crying, while I stuffed my face in the kitchen. It took me all of around thirty seconds to remember the other night when I collapsed onto the floor. I hadn't had a flashback since the day before, but I wasn't sure if I wanted to take any chances yet. I walk over to my redhead and sit down.

"Remember when you said I don't scare so easy?" I don't look at her, I can't.

"Uh-huh." I feel her nod without seeing her.

"Well I do." I sigh. "Just 'cause I act all big and strong, doesn't mean I'm not small and weak…And scared, underneath " I feel my eyes start to sting again, but I refuse to cry. I know she is though.

"I'm sorry…" She isn't just crying, she's sobbing. And I just stabbed my own heart, metaphorically.

"You scared me Willow, but you know what the strange thing is…If you'd have asked I'd have agreed, it was the fact that you just took it that really got me. I would gladly give you everything I have, my life, my heart, my soul, anything you needed, but ask. Don't just take next time…Or at least wait 'til I offer…" I nudge her and look up, giving her a wink. She smiles and hugs me and I snuggle in.

I finish the juice and stand up, Buffy's still talking, of cause Buffy's still talking, she's Buffy, and she's in Super-Slayer-Speech overdrive. I get up and go over to Willow, who's evidently trying her best not to yawn or fall asleep. I stand up close to her, press my body into hers and fiddle with the edge of her shirt sleeve. "This shirt's pretty." I think to her.

"Thanks, wanna take it off later?" I hear back in my head.

"Willow Rosenberg did you just say that?" I send back.

"No, but I thought it, there's a difference." She smiles, I smile. We turn to Buffy and carry on looking like we're listening.

"Hmm, well I might just take you up on it actually." I can't believe she just said that…Maybe she's ready, who knows…

"I'd be delighted." She smiles again, and I almost laugh.

"So, what am I thinking?" I think to her, Willow-fuck, Willow-fuck, Willow-fuck. I turn to look at her and her eyes are wide and she's blushing, I grin like the Cheshire cat. Hell yeah.

"…Oh shoot I'm gonna be late!" Oh dear Buffy what a pity, does that mean your speech is over? Yay! Thank God for that. The door closes and everyone lets out a collective sigh of relief.

"We should tape her and give it to Insomniacs Anonymous." I conclude heavily, she really is a bore. It gets a few laughs, but I couldn't care much because right now Willow is dragging me into the living room. And everyone is dispersing in their own direction for the day. Training can wait, I have better things to do.

"I'm glad you forgave me." Aww, she's giddy. Cute-ness!

"Just please don't hurt me again Will." She takes my hand as we sit down on the sofa.

"I can only try." No promises, that's always a good thing.

"I can deal with that." I squeeze her hand a little.

"Hey, never heard the term 'kiss and make up'?" That look in her eye isn't one I have seen for a while, Willow's horny. Oh yeah…

"Yes Ma'am." I say, leaning in and kissing her. The smoothness of the kiss, the way it flows, I feel myself get pulled in by it, lost in it even. My arm goes around her neck as I push for more contact. Her arm goes around my shoulders, squeezing gently as I feel the heat rising inside myself. A heat I can't let get to strong or I'll…I don't know what I'll do…

I already want so much so badly, I hear talking in the background, but my ears can't focus, nothing can focus except my sense of touch, her lips touching mine, caressing me, a touch I missed so much. I want more but I can't push, I almost lost her once this week through being a brat, I won't lose her again. The talking stops and I lower my arm to the small of her back, she moans and arches it, pulling me with her, pulling me on top of her, I run my other hand down her side, avoiding her breasts as I figure they're where I'm not allowed yet.

I inch lower and squeeze her thigh, feeling her tremble a little "K-K- NO!" She gets my hand in a wrist lock. I fear I've let it go too far but the look in her eyes let's me know I went a little bit further than that.

"I-I'm sorry did I…?" I don't know what I did.

"It's just, I don't wanna…Not here…Not yet…" I nod. I'm getting used to it now. I get up off her and kiss her on the forehead.

"I uh, need to go to the bathroom." It's not convincing but she nods, I think she knows what I mean.

I'm slumped against the bathroom door before I know it, and my jeans are across the room in no time. I slip my hand inside my underwear. Feeling my own wetness, wishing it was Willow's, I let my finger trace a familiar circular motion around my swollen clit, feeling the fire building in my stomach with every millimetre I move. I slide further down the door, almost laid flat on the floor now, moving my hand faster now. I close my eyes and let my hips move like they want to, moving my hand faster until a light flashes in my vision and my body tenses up. Lactic acid fills every muscle in my body until I let go, then I feel the orgasm rip through me, through my veins and my muscles, something I can't control, like a ride you can't get off, until I'm just a relaxed wreck on the floor, a mound of heavily breathing, tired out potential, I take care to control myself enough not to enter myself. I'll save that for Willow when she's ready. It'll be worth the wait.

In around ten minutes I've washed up, fixed my hair and put my jeans back on. When I get down the stairs I give Willow my best 'I just helped myself' grin and watch her blush violently, making my grin wider. I am so relaxes I can't even think about training right now, so I go outside into the garden and sit on the steps. Thinking…

4 Years Ago: Kennedy's Bedroom.

"I don't know if we should…" Tammy shuffles and fidgets on my bed, and I look up at her, my brown eyes pleading for contact. My heart's hammering so fast and hard I swear I can feel the blood pounding in my ears.

"I've never done this before…I just want to…" I stop and lean in, kissing her for a second, "Feel." She grabs the back of my head and pushes our lips together, the force scares me so much I back off, her hand applies a little more pressure to the back of my head, but I'm stronger, she drops her hand.

"Too much?" She blushes and I look down, ashamedly and nod.

"Kinda…" She moves her hand to my thigh.

"I've never…Done this either…" She smiles as I look up.

We both blush as Tammy reaches for the bottom of her shirt and pulls it over her head, revealing a sight I'll never forget, a Snoopy bra. All I could think was 'don't laugh!'. She reaches over and tries to take my shirt but I stop her.

"I'll do it." I want to try and hide the scars on my back ,so I'll take the shirt off and lay straight down…Good plan…

She lays down too, but on top of me, straddling me. I run my hands up her back as she arches forward, I spend around ten minutes fumbling with her bra while she laughs at me and I get more and more flustered…Hell was it worth it when I managed to undo it. I undid my own, wishing to let her avoid the embarrassment I just endured and also save her from feeling the scars on my back.

She leans forward and takes my right nipple into her mouth, I can't help but moan…Loudly…

"Shh…" She says looking at me mischievously.

"Why shh, I live all the way over here, no one is gonna hear!" I hope they won't, no one knows I'm gay yet…Internal sigh.

How we ended up actually having sex I'll never know, we were so nervous and embarrassed it was pathetic, we were still in our private school socks when my Step Mum walked in…

I have my fingers inside her and my head between her thighs, touching, tasting, enjoying. I can feel her body trembling beneath me, whether from fear or sexual want I don't know, but I like it anyway. I can hear her breathing, short and fast. She has her eyes shut and I feel her muscles tense up tight, they begin to spasm as I move my fingers faster. Bang, the door's flown open and I jump up to face my Step Mum, my mouth smeared in juice I blush and swipe it away. Carrie looks horrified as she pulls her clothes on.

"What the HELL are you doing?!" My Step Mum speaks first.

"Uh…We were…Uh…" Come on Kennedy, think, "Having sex?" I look up, smiling innocently and groan internally, stupid fat mouth, just shut up!

"Oh, well that's alright then isn't it?" She has gone a weird shade of purple and I fear the Botox injections may come flying out of her eyebrows she has them raised that high. Her voice is a few octaves higher than usual too.

Oh screw her, I think I like this girl…

"Yeah, yeah it is alright then, like I care about what you think Plastic Princess." I grab Carrie's hand and stalk past her, still naked, giving her my best 'Fuck You' glare.

I stomp down the corridor, making hurried apologies to Carrie as I reach the Laundry. The smell hits my nose and I instantly relax, I go here when I get stressed, and it was perfect for today, as I needed clothes too. The smell of warm, fresh washing and the hum of a dryer to soothe my soul.

"Can I…uh…Help you Miss Kennedy?" The Laundry Maid avoids looking at my naked body.

"Snot Nose kicked me from my room before I could get dressed…Any chance I have a set of clothes down here?" She laughs at my insulting my Step Mom then nods and bustles off to a pile in the far corner, my pile. She starts ironing frantically and I turn to kiss Tammy. She backs off.

"What are you doing?" Her hand is on my arm, stopping it.

"Kissing you." I try to move forward again but still she stops me.

"I think…I…Made a mistake, I should…Go…" She turns and runs out the Laundry door. I go to follow but realise I'm still naked, and suddenly I'm ashamed to be stood this way. I take the clothes that Rosary (The Laundry Maid) gives me and pull them on. Training clothes…Appropriate…

I pull the hood over my leaking eyes and go in search of my trainers. When I find them I run until my heart feels like it will burst, my eyes are swollen and I can hardly breathe for sobbing.

I made a pact right them to get as much sex with as little mush as possible. Funny how pact with yourself always get broken isn't it?

"Are you okay?" Rona walks over, great… I swipe at my eyes, realising I'd been crying.

"I'm fine, just stupid memories is all. I'll be fine." I sniff and push myself to my feet, I wonder what Tammy is doing now, I never saw her again.

I see everyone else is eating and suddenly I feel nausea fill me up inside, there's a lump in my throat I can't swallow, my memory wants to tell what happened next, but I don't want to think about it…I get a glass of water and go up to Willow's room, I lay on the bed, wishing the sickness to go away…

I'm hot, too hot, and too sweaty to care, I'm back from my run and I'm boxing in the gym. Hopping from foot to foot, wraps on my wrist, beating a bag for all my life's worth. My face is set, my body solid. No one can beat me, ever again. Bang, the door flies open.

My Step Mom is stood behind my Dad, amazing how fast he can get home when his owner whistles…I turn, sweat running down my nose, hair sticking to my face. "Can I help you?" My Dad's look darkened, he stepped forward, shutting the door in my Step Mum's face, I smile at that, making him angrier. I go to turn around but he is closer now and he spins me around. Slamming me into the solid punch bag by my neck.

"There something you wanna tell me Kenn?" He asks, his face up close, hot breath on my neck, spittle dangling from his lower lip, crazed look in his eye. The usual. I lift my left arm up and then bring it down on his elbow, sliding out of his grip and squaring up to him.

"Yeah…You're a jerk." I say, calmly, smiling. Suddenly his great weight is hurtling towards me, I dodge him and he flies into the floor with a thud. He roars and gets up again, his fists clenched, face purple. I can smell the liquor on him, and the cigar smoke. He's drunk.

Eventually he picks up the usual tool…The skipping rope I use for training, it's not hard for him to pin me to the floor once I've seen him pick that up, I know I've lost. He strips the shirt from my back and begins. Strike one hurts most, always does. "You're a dirty dyke." He screams, bringing it down on my back again. "Worthless, just like your mother." And again. "If this gets out I'm finished Kenn." And again. "You keep your pants on 'til you leave this house, you hear me?" Wham, the wooden handle catches the bottom of my shoulder blade and I pretend to pass out. Listening as he struggles to regain his breath from the effort.

I laid in the bath after getting up, watching the water turn a pale orange first, then turn darker, until I got out of the bath and showered, letting the orange run down the drain, closing my eyes so I couldn't see. I got Rosary to pad my back again, and bandage it, ready for tomorrow's school day.

Another week I spent sleeping on my belly, wanting to die. Wanting to leave, knowing I couldn't. But I'm here now, and I can't go back…Ever… I jump when Willow comes in and starts rummaging in her wardrobe.

"Hey baby, whatcha doin'?" I try to act normally. It's over now anyway.

"I'm looking for a memory charm to get Andrew to dish the dirt on the seal of Danzalthar " Huh?

"The seal thing under the school?" She nods positively and I sigh. "You do realise that even a memory charm won't stop him talking absolute crap!" I laugh and Willow snorts a little, making herself blush.

She pulls out this huge great rock from a box and I just stare at it.

"When you said 'charm' I thought you meant something round and gold on a chain to dangle in front of him, not a handheld Mount Everest!" I look up at Willow who is shaking her head at me, mocking me. "Hey, new to this whole magic thing remember, go easy on me." She laughs and turns to go out the door, I follow.

Andrew is sat in the armchair when I get down the stairs, Buffy, Wood and Spike are all looking at him, "I've already told you," He's whining, I hate that, "I don't remember!"

Willow stands in front of him and I walk over to the chair, she puts her hand on the top of the charm, "Remember." She whispers and the charm lights up.

"Okay Andrew, what happened?" His eyes glaze over and he begins to talk…My eyes glaze over and I begin to ignore…What? It's a natural reaction to this guys voice, he's annoying…

That charm is having an effect on me too, I can feel it…Stuff I'd buried long ago keeps flashing in front of my face…

"Mum says you're a dyke." Penelope, my little half-sister is trying to taunt me, I'm not in the mood.

"She's not my Mum." I sigh, hoping she'll go away. It's only the day after my 'coming out beating' and I'm still sore, sat at a bench at school. You'd think six years would separate us…But no…

"Well okay…Karina says you're a dyke." She sticks her tongue out and goes to stalk off.

"Yeah, so what if I am…You can't spread it, Dad'll get in trouble, you got nothing on me Fatty." Ha, like there was an ounce of fat on her anorexia-ridden body, someone should tell her that laxatives aren't food stuffs. She grips her ribs.

"You think I'm getting fat?" She looks down and then starts rummaging in her bag, no doubt looking for her makeup.

"Getting? Honey, you've always been fat." I smile, grab my bag and walk off, leaving her searching for more whore-ish lip gloss. I pity her.

"No Zima." Buffy's voice snaps me back out of it and I break eye contact with the charm. It made me a little dizzy.

"Shut your face about the Zima. Just talk."

"You were the first one to uncover the seal and feed it blood. How did you know it was there? How did you know what to do?" Buffy looks wary, bad day? Do I care? I actually find myself caring…Strange…

"I-I don't know. Stuff happened." He shrugs, looking lost. "I forget." I sigh internally, that's the whole point of the charm…Duh…

"So remember. Look at the charm." Again with the thinking out loud, haven't done that for a while, damn I really thought I was getting out of it…I follow my own advice, and look at the charm…I don't hear anything else…

Fourteen years ago: Kennedy's old house in Brazil

"I love you Kennedy, you know nothing will ever change that don't you?" My Mama is stroking my hair and crying as I sit curled up on her lap.

"Of cause Mama." I take her hand and kiss it, smiling, "What's wrong?"

"You have to go away for a while, we'll find each other someday, but for now you have to go with your Daddy." She reaches into her pocket and pulls out a box. Its small and wooden with patterns carved into it, a star with symbols and celtic knots inside a circle, it was beautiful. She holds it out to me and I take it, excited.

"What is it Mama?" I run my fingers over the patterns on the box, grinning like it is Christmas day.

"It's something your Great Grandpa made. He put a ring in it and asked your Great Grandma to marry him." She smiles, "Now I put something in it for you." I grin and pull the box open.

"Wow Mama!" It was simple, a silver hoop pendant with a 'K' inside on a silver chain. I was so excited. "Can I put it on?" I'm almost bouncing on her knee now.

"You can if you want, but you can't let your Daddy see it, he thinks you aren't special enough to have this." I put it over my head and tuck it in my shirt.

I grinned all the rest of the day at the silvery secret beneath my top. The day after was the day me and Dad caught the plane. He burned the wooden box when he found it, but never noticed the necklace I always wear, or even asked where it came from. I still wonder if I will ever find my Mama…

I tune in, they're on about a knife.

"Kennedy, search his stuff. Find the knife." I find myself snapping to attention, when did I become another of Buffy's pets? Since you wanted to save your skin. Oh hello again, nice to hear from you today. Shut up and go find the knife.

"It's not in my stuff…It's in the kitchen, in the cutlery drawer. You didn't have any steak knives." No surprises, the guy is two slices short of a picnic over here, I head off to the kitchen, wondering why I'm acting like such a lapdog all of a sudden.

I rummage through the knives until I see one with patterns. I figure it's not gonna look like a cake knife so I take that one back into the living room.

"Found it." Or at least I think I did anyway. Willow looks at it and hands it to Andrew,

"Well Mr. Demon Summoner, how are you with demon languages?" He studies it.

"Wow, you were right, its in Towarick. It's, uh, like proto-Tawarick. It's really, really old." Everyone but me seems to think this is a big thing…

"But, what's the big?" That;s great Kenn, not only do you feel stupid, now you look stupid too…Good on you…Shut up…

"We never knew anything about this seal. Now, we know this knife and this language are connected to it somehow." Oh…Thanks Wood, I think he's alright for a guy…

"Andrew, do you speak Tawarick?" Bloody hell Will, I hope he does…

"Yeah, I'm OK with it. It says, 'The blood which I spill, I consecrate to the oldest evil.'" Okay that's just…

"Creepy." Oh. My. God. Would you just shut up, don't say anything, just stay quiet. You sound like a fucktard. Shut up you, I'm expressing my opinion. They don't care about your opinion! Fine, I'm saying nothing more…Not a word. Good.

"Will, what're you thinking? You think you can do something with that?" Cause she can Buffy, she's my girl! Willow takes the knife and looks at it…Closely…

"I— let me work on it." Lovely, that means it's Wizard-Willow to the rescue and Kennedy gets to entertain herself again for the next however many hours…Grr…Her and Buffy exit into the dining room and begin their usual 'You aren't a Scooby so you don't get to know' hushed voices gig…

I curl up on the arm of the chair next to Andrew. He smiles and leans closer.

"Don't even think about it Geek Boy." I say it through gritted teeth. He pouts and slouches, Wood and Spike smile. I don't.

Wood and Spike chit-chat about what Willow could possibly find, hell there is so much tention between them it's crucifying. I discuss video games with Andrew. "No, the third Resident Evil was so much better than the second!" He insists.

"That's bull and you know it, you call yourself a geek…" I slap him upside the head and he sulks.

He's still sulking when Willow and Buffy walk back in.

"Guess what Andy, you just won yourself a vacation to the beautiful downtown Hellmouth." Hmm…Sarcasm…Shut up Buffy.

"To do what? Yell at in it's own language?" Oh isn't Spike full of useful ideas.

"Maybe…" Oh, maybe he is after all.

"What? I'm not following…" Me either.

"Look, we have to deal with the seal right away, we already might have to just shut the school down and I'm not losing any more territory to the First. Besides, it's the only thing we've got." True and true, damn why is she normally right? I hate her…

"The seal responds to this language somehow, or the First wouldn't have needed the knife. Andrew knows the language, he can really talk to it, maybe give it commands."

C'mon, Robin, Spike, let's go." What no Kennedy? Internal pout, of cause not Kenn, you're only a potential…Just wallpaper round here aren't you, just 'Willow's girlfriend/potential' not important…Great.

The four of them kitted up and traipsed out of the door, and then it was just Willow and me on our own in the living room. I stood up and went to head into the kitchen, smiling at her before turning round. I hadn't even reached the kitchen when I felt hands snaking around my stomach, sliding under my shirt. I don't mean to but I freeze, and gasp, my eyes close as I lean back into her, letting her hands slide slowly up the underside of my shirt, smoothing over my skin. She reaches my bra and hooks her fingers beneath the material, taking care to catch my nipples with her finger nails, my head has fallen back onto her shoulder and I look up at her grinning face, seeing the lust burn in her eyes.

Wait, there's something else, something softer, caring. Is that…? No, it can't be…But I think it is, Willow has love in her eyes…Love for me? Ha, what a laughable thoug- Oh God she's pinching my nipples, first the right, then the left and now I can't think of much except how it feels, which I'll tell you is pretty damn good. She cups her hands and takes a moment to massage my breasts gently before scratching her nails down my sides and back out of my shirt. I'm about to pout when she spins me around and kisses me, clawing her hand down my back over my shirt, I moan, I cant help it…

Wow, when did we end up on the couch? I don't even remember but we're here now, I cant remember anything that went before, I just know what going on now, which is that Willow is on top of me, kissing my neck, propped up on her right arm, left hand on my right breast. Moving downwards to my collarbone before moving her hand and trying to get my shirt off…She could see my back if she takes my shirt off…I should tell her soon, before she finds out the bad way…Oh God she feels so good, screw it if she sees my back I'll explain later, or if she stops…

I sit up a little so she can get my shirt over my head she smiles at the sight of me in my bra and I feel like it's my first time all over again. She pushes me back down gently, nuzzling her nose into my neck, finding all my pressure points. My redhead, busy kissing her way down my collarbone, licking around the flesh my bra doesn't cover, sucking a little. Shit what if I get a love bite? Who the hell cares Kenn…They all know you and Willow are together anyway…

Oh. My. God. She's Trailing her tongue down my stomach, to the waistband of my jeans. I look at her and smile, she's shaking, and blushing. My head falls back again though as her tongue makes contact with my right hip, applying slippery pressure across the bottom of my stomach, all the way across to circle my left hip. She begins to play with my zipper with her free hand. As a natural instinct my hand flies to stop her, her head snaps up, a little shock, a little hurt in her eyes.

"Are you sure?" I ask, making myself look into those emerald pools I love so much.

"I-I-I don't know. It just…happened, felt right…But now I-I-I don't…" She looks lost again and I'm glad I stopped her, well part of me is, the other part is cussing and kicking that I just passed up sex…With a beautiful redheaded woman no less..

"It's okay." I smile, and pull her up over to my face, her right arm gives way and she falls on to my bra-clad chest with a contented sigh.

"Can we stay like this forever?" Oh dear Lord did she say that? She wants to stay with me? Kennedy calm the fuck down would you, just…relax, be cool.

"If I can have a kiss." I grin mischievously as she looks up at me, a grin spreads across her face as she moves up and kisses me softly. Then lets her head fall gently back onto my chest. I absentmindedly stroke her hair.

Does she really mean it? About the forever thing?

"Yes I mean it." Her voice enters my thoughts, serious but teasing.

"Hey, no fair, I didn't say you could listen to what I'm thinking!" I think back.

"So, if I'm allowed in your pants I'm allowed in your head…surely?" I can hear the tone, she's mocking me.

"I guess so…" I relax, still stroking her hair.

After around ten minutes Willow speaks, "We should go upstairs, the others will be back soon and," She turns her head to look up at me, "I don't think it would wash…You being half naked and all." I smile, and she fidgets a moment before sitting up, sliding her left arm hard down my centre as she pretends to fall back sideways. I see fireworks as the friction catches my sex, "Jesus!" I shout, sitting bolt upright and staring into her faux innocent eyelash fluttering look,

"What's the matter? You hurt yourself?!" She smiles slyly and flicks her tongue quickly out and then back in again. I feel my stomach burn up. She stands up and makes her way to and up the stairs.

I take a few extra seconds to recuperate and get my hormones back under control again before following, almost sheepishly. When I walk in the room she's looking at me with lust in her eyes again, and that other thing too. I'm carrying my shirt as I know I'll only end up having to take it off again later. I turn and shut the door silently, not wanting to disturb Xander and Anya, wherever they may be.

When I turn round her face has changed, her eyes, they look worried, scared even, but how? What? I don't kn-. Shit. My back. I go to put my shirt on but realise it's too late anyway.

"Kenn what did you d…" She trails off, seeing the shifty anxiety on my face I guess.

"It's nothing." I sigh, putting my shirt back on, the mood's gone now anyway.

"Okay." She puts her hands up, like a surrender sign. I guess my tone was a little snappy…

I sigh again. "My Dad used to leather me…Skipping rope, belt, hell he used the rope end of a Soap-On-A-Rope once. I was bad, he'd beat it out of me. Simple really." I look at her face, she's trying to read my thoughts, think of something else. Jelly, Jelly, Jelly, Jelly.

"Stop that." She says frowning.

"What?" My turn to play innocent now.

"Blocking me, I don't like it." She pouts, pretending to be hurt, oh damn, wait she is hurt. I go over and sit down, putting my arm around her.

"Look, it's not that big a deal okay, I'm away from him now, I have you, I have you Willow, and…" Don't say it Kenn, don't say I love you, just don't.

"You can say it if you want." She looks into my eyes. I pull her towards me and kiss her.

"I love you." I think into her head while my lips move in time with hers, letting my tongue caress hers.

LIES MY PARENTS TOLD ME

I woke up this morning with my arms around the most beautiful woman in Sunnydale, and my heart sang. Just as it does every morning. Oh God I sound like a love-struck teen…You are a love-struck teen…Shut up you, did I say you could speak?…Do I need permission now?…Oh fuck off…

I stare down at the Fruit Loops floating around in my bowl, and smile as I nudge them into little multicoloured triangles…Wow how sad am I?…Well I'm alone in the kitchen, all the girls are outside warming up, Willow's upstairs practicing her pronunciation for some spell she's doing on Spike and everyone else is in the basement besides Andrew and Anya, who are currently playing 'Snap' in the dining room. Every so often I hear a bang on the table, followed by 'SNAP!' and then a groan of defeat from Andrew.

Rona comes in the kitchen as I chew a new mouthful of Fruit Loops. She's getting a drink. Juice as usual. "Get me one while you're up." I grin into the bowl in front of me as I hear her suck her teeth a little.

"What am I…Your mother?" The word hits me, stabbing my heart a little.

"No." I sigh, sadly as she puts the glass she just poured on the table in front of me.

"Wanna spar later?" I gulp the juice and take the last mouthful of my breakfast, tagging her arm as I head out the door.

"Why wait…Tag, you're it!" And I run, hearing her cuss and then tear after me.

After a mass game of tag (seeing as everyone joined in) I realise we're meant to be training…Imminent apocalypse and all…And begin to kick them into touch, straightening my green jacket and barking orders…Rona pulls a face, like I spoiled the fun.

"Not you, you're gonna help me get drinks for everyone while they get into formation." I wink at her and she grins, following me back up the steps into the kitchen.

"A little help!" I hear Willow's voice and run towards it.

"Get the drinks ready Rona." I say it sternly and I hear her suck her teeth again.

Snivel has hit her head, and it's bleeding. Bless. I've had deeper cuts on my ass…Figuratively speaking. "Fetch a damp towel!" I shout to Rona. I can see her sucking her teeth in my head, and it makes me smile a little, Dawn catches me smiling and gives me the dead eye, she thinks I'm smiling at her injury. Ha! Like I don't have anything better to think about Snivel Pants! I go over and sit on the arm of the couch next to Willow.

Rona appears a moment later with a damp blue towel. She hands it to Willow and then stands beside me. I watch as Willow dabs Dawn's head wound.

I guess Spike's trigger is still truly working, that is what they were testing after all…And next thing you know, Snivel has a head wound, albeit superficial, but still a head wound she could do without…

"OW!" Oh God Snivel, stop snivelling! It's old now…

"I'm sorry." Willow looks closer at it as the phone rings and Andrew picks it up. "It doesn't look like anything's broken." She says hopefully, of cause nothing's broken, it's just a scratch!

"Did you use some sort of a magic X-Ray?" Oh dear, someone please, just…I have no idea, but give these people brains, I swear I'm the only sane one most days…

"No, that's just what people usually say." Willow looks sympathetic, I roll my eyes and Dawn pouts.

"So Spike's trigger's been active this entire time?" I might as well ask, I don't know what went on down there, I'm just plain old 'Willow's girlfriend/potential' still.

"How can Buffy take this for granted? I mean…He lives in our house! We train with him!" I think she has a point actually, seems Anya does too…

"Don't waste your time down that road. Spike's got some sort of "Get Out of Jail Free" card that doesn't apply to the rest of us. I mean, he could slaughter a hundred frat boys, and…" She pauses, noticing everyone shooting her glares, then she laughs like she was joking, "Forgiveness makes us human. blah-dee-blah-blah-blah."

"Uh, Willow...call for you from L.A. Somebody named Fred. The guy sounds kind of effeminate." Fred? Who's Fred…Do I know Fred, I don't think so…

Kenn, you don't HAVE to know everyone that Willow does, stop being a freak…But I am a freak, and I want to know who she's talking to as well…I'm having a mini-sulk now, and get up to go into the kitchen. "I'm gonna finish those drinks, that lot will be all sat on the floor doing Bob-all right now." I mutter, shuffling off. Rona follows.

"Jealous of Willow's effeminate friend?" Rona teases.

"The girl has had boyfriends before…" My head isn't thinking straight, why did I say that, I trust her don't I?

"Oh and I suppose you haven't?" Her eyebrows are almost in her hairline she has them raised that high.

"I haven't." Short and firm, just how an answer should be. I pick one of the trays full of juice up and carry it outside. Rona follows me. "Drink up! Training starts in five." It's almost a grunt as I head back inside to fetch the last tray.

"ATTENTION!" They look up and I hear a collective sigh as they stack their plastic beakers and put them onto a tray, they fall in and stand with their feet slightly apart and their hands in fists by their side.

"Punch, block, kick!" I shout. They follow.

"Right stab, left punch, block." I shout. They follow.

"Chamber your energy." They follow. I see they are ten times better than when Wood first met us all.

"Punch block combo!" I shout. They follow.

"Cross block kick!" I shout. They follow.

"Chamber your energy." I shout. They follow. I pace, hands on my hips. I hear the back door open and close.

"Punch block combo!" I shout and they follow.

"Kenn?" I feel a hand on my shoulder, I'm guessing it belongs to Willow, the voice belongs to Willow. I feel my body tense up.

"Rona, take over." Rona rolls her eyes and moves forward.

"Okay, left hook, kick block!" She begins as I commiserate, she has no idea what she's doing, I turn around.

"Yes?" I look at Willow, there's pain in her eyes, but determination, this is where I get dumped isn't it? This is where she says 'Sorry but Fred has a cock and you're just not up to those standards!'. Damnit.

I follow her inside and Rona carries on crucifying my routine. The kitchen is empty. "I have to go away for a few days." She looks at me, I can see she wants to look away but she doesn't, she just blushes at my intensive stare.

"With Fred I suppose?" I scoff, not meaning to, but I do.

"With F-? Wait you don't think that…" She starts laughing.

"What?" I pout, I hate being laughed at…It sucks…

"Fred is a girl." She clamps her lips together, a wide smile showing she's trying not to laugh.

"Oh well that's even better then isn't it…" I mutter under my breath and turn to place my hands on the counter, and my head on my hands.

"She's a friend of Angel's. There's someone I need to go and get, they're coming to help." Willow was still trying to surpress laughter, "Besides, how could I possibly wish for anyone better than you?" She smiles and touches my cheek, no longer mocking me. I'm still pouting when she leans forward and takes my bottom lip in her mouth. My eyes close for a second but when they do she pulls back, she knows she's won. I sigh.

"Can I come?" I ask, looking at her expectant and hopefully.

"No, you have to train." She says it short and firm, again like an answer should be, but definitely not the answer I was looking for.

"Our survey says…Uh Uhhh…Wrong answer." I try using my puppy dog eyes.

"Kennedy…" Uh-oh it's the resolve face…I know I won't win now, so I just pout more. She takes my hand and leads me out of the kitchen, and eventually up the stairs.

"Willow I swear if you tease me before you go I'm going to hide in your suitcase naked and spring out when you get to L.A." I say it jokingly but wonder if in actual fact I should do that anyway.

Hmm…

"No teasing but I need help packing." Packing???

"How long are you going for?" I must sound shocked because she turns around and looks at me.

"For as little time as possible, three days maximum." Three DAYS?!

"Oh." Is all I say, pulling my hand from hers and going over to the wardrobe, I look down and see my duffel bag. Perfect. I take it out and empty my clothes on the bed. "Take this, and I'll have chance to move in then." I'm trying to be positive but three days without Willow is going to be hell on Earth. She smiles.

I pull out a few Willow-shirts, a pair of jeans, a pair of trousers and go over to her bedside cabinet and pull out underwear from the drawers. "Take these." I wave a lacy red bra and thong set at her, she blushes violently. "Wear 'em for coming home in." I wink at her and she looks at the floor, her red skin tone darkening a little more.

I folded the clothes and put them in my duffel bag. "Take your phone." I wink again and she blushes again, shaking her head.

"You're like a guy." She smiles.

"That a bad thing?" I grin and sit on the bed, fastening the zip on the bag and pulling her to me, kissing her gently. "You should go, before we both get too horny or too upset." She sighs through her nose, touching my cheek again.

"I ever tell you how amazing you are?" She grins at me.

"Nope, we haven't slept together yet, you can save it for after then." I grin at her, watching the colour creep into her face once more.

"Why do you do that?" She giggles. Cute!

"To get you to stay." Deja-Vu anyone?

"I-I can't, I'm sorry." She picks up the duffel bag and kisses me on the nose. "I-I-I love you." She looks thoughtful as she says it, I can't help but grin from ear to ear, even though I know I won't see her for a while. My grin is so wide my eyes shut in a daydream of me and Willow when she returns. By the time I open my eyes, I'm alone in the room.

I pull out my phone and text her. 'Miss you already'. Then I make my way back down the stairs and into the garden. Empty. The living room. When I get there no one is doing anything, they're sat in a circle around the coffee table talking. I sigh and join them. I really do miss her already.

"Cheer up, you look like someone died." The looks Rona gets for saying that particular line tells her that it's not appropriate situation, for all any of us knew half the time, someone COULD have died around here.

"Willow's gone to L.A. for a few days. She's bringing back re-enforcements." I don't look up, if I do I know I'll cry.

"She'll be back soon," Amanda, who is sat next to me puts her arm around me. "Besides, we need so much training you wouldn't have had time or energy to throw her down and ravish her." I look up to see Vi giving Amanda a stern look.

"You obviously don't know Kennedy, she's one horrifically horny hamster." This receives giggles and Vi smiles, pleased to have made a joke, I shoot her a glare that dares her to call me a hamster again.

"Anyone fancy pizza?" I can't help it, I'm starved.

"Ooo I do." It's the first time I notice Head-wounded Snivel has graced us with her personality and presence. Pity, I wish I'd have remained blissfully ignorant until bedtime.

"Hmm, well I'll raid the freezer, you turn the oven on." Hell, I don't know how to turn an oven on, might as well be nice to her until she's done that at least.

The pizza is burned, and dry as well. I commiserate I can't cook. I shout Andrew down the stairs, I bet he's been looking in Xander's stuff, looking for the poor guys underwear. He sheepishly puts his head over the top banister. "Call for food." Is all I say. His head disappears again.

"Can we have the TV on?" One of the potentials asks Dawn, who nods and gives a muffled yes through a mouthful of cardboard-y pizza. The TV flicks on via remote.

'And now ladies and gentlemen a word from your local newsroom.' Great.

'This is Hans Broader for The Sunnydale Lunchtime News, today's top stories include: The new men in black, has anyone else seen these weird black hooded men running around late at night?' "Yes!" Comes a collective answer from most of the potentials in the room.

'UFO's in Sunnydale? Strange lights have been seen in the sky, speculation is that they're just floating lanterns, a new novelty product out this summer, but could we really have aliens on our hands folks?' I just stare at the TV, we're in friggin' Sunnydale, demon central, surrounded by vampires, demons and weird cults, and the best they can come up with on a Saturday dinnertime is UFO's? Internal sigh.

I don't even bother listening to the rest of the news, my heart hurts too much, I miss Willow, I miss Willow-kisses and Willow-snuggles, I miss those emerald eyes and those warm, soft lips. I miss her. I go into the garden again. I remember how much I missed Tammy to begin with, took me a while to move on. Willow? I'd never move on from her if I lost her…Ever…

"Good." I hear Willow's voice and spin around, who said that?

"I said it silly, remember, I can talk to you without a phone…" It is Willow, talking to me in my head.

"I'm missing you." I think really hard, I know how far away she is.

"Okay, no need to shout Kenn! Just think normally, I don't think I'd get over you either." I smile, and I know she can sense me smiling, which makes me smile more, God I'm such a fucktard.

"Language baby, and you're not, you're cute, maybe even cuter than me…" I can feel her wink in my head.

"Nah, you're all with the blushiness and the babbling, I just self-abuse." I snort a little laugh at that.

"Shoot, I'm running low on gas, I'll tune in again later, so watch your thoughts, you might not even know I'm listening." I think hard about Willow naked on top of me, kissing my neck. I can feel the heat rising in my belly and moving up into my…Face??? Oh God, I'm blushing, she's blushed so hard I'm blushing too! I start laughing and I can hear her laughing too. I try to read her thoughts, but I can't. "I'm a witch Kenn, don't even try it." Damn. Then I hear a little pop of static and my brain feels less crushed, but I feel more alone…

I shake my head free of thoughts and feelings, trying to make myself as passive about the suckiness of the situation. But I don't succeed too well. I lay on my back staring up at the clouds, watching each one mock me as they fly past in the direction of L.A. or I assume that it is, because things in life always mock me, but I never was any good at Geography. But they're laughing 'cause they'll see Will before me…Asshole clouds…

It took about an hour before anyone appeared, Amanda. "You okay, Rona told me that Willow went off on recruitment."

"I'll live." I wasn't so sure of that fact right now, but it's what you say isn't it, so people shut up.

"Hmm." She lays down beside me. "That one looks like a bird."

"That one looks like a broken heart." I sigh, my eyes sting like I'm about to cry. I will not cry. I will not cry. I will not cry.

"Well that one looks like a smiling face" She adds, pointing to a teardrop shape.

"No it looks like a tear, a tear shed from a bird with a broken heart." I push myself to a sitting position with my hands and then stand up, sighing heavily.

"Don't leave?" Amanda turns her head to face me.

"Why?" I say it defeated, like I wouldn't leave even if she told me to, I'm not too sure I would have even if she hadn't have said anything.

"Me and my Mum used to do this…Before…Never mind…Just…Don't leave?" She was begging me almost, pleading with those sorrowful eyes. How could I just turn and walk off, no matter how depressed I am.

I flop back down and lay looking at the mocking cloud shapes, "That one looks like a vampire tooth." She says it like anyone else would say, 'Oh look, a bunny.' Like it was normal. This place was making them conditioned to not be scared of them. Good. They're gonna need it.

"Nah, it's a stake…" Vi and Rona come over and lay down beside us. In a cross shape, all staring up at Big Blue.

We lay there watching the sun set. No one searched for us, I doubt anyone cared much whether we were there or not. We lay watching the ky change from blue to orange, orange to pink and purple, and purple to inky blue-blackness, glittering with scattered astrology. It was breathtaking to lay and watch it. Amanda begins to shiver and I srug out of my green jacket and lay it over her. "Thanks." Breaks the long silence. I just nod.

I count the constellations I can find, only four, I know there are more in the space I can see, but it's years since I last did this… My home tutor used to watch the stars, but we'd be having sex too…So concentrating and retaining information was rather difficult…

I don't remember falling asleep but I must have done because I was dreaming about sex with Willow, when a voice snapped me awake and I find myself freezing to death on damp grass in Buffy's back yard. My life is crap.

"You dreaming that or thinking it oh horny one?" It's Willow.

"Uhm, I was dreaming it…Now I'm thinking it…" And I am, as well as trying to get the message to Willow un-jumbled.

"Sorry to wake you." Aww she's so cute.

"Honestly, I don't mind, talking to you is so much better than dreaming about you." I send her a thought of someone winking and grin to myself…I love her.

"I love you too. Sweet dreams sexy." And then a pop of static and a less cramped head feeling tells me I don't get the chance to say goodnight back. I nudge everyone, and get disgruntled and disorientated snorts from all of them before deciding to leave them to it and go inside. I leave Amanda with my jacket.

THere's a figure in mine and Willow's bed. I boot them out, it's a girly cry-out. Andrew. "What the hell are you doing in mine and Willow's bed, I would have thought it would have at least been a potent- … Why do you have my underwear in your hand?" He looks at it and fakes shock, dropping it to the floor.

"I-I-I thought it was a tissue, uhm, see you tomorrow." And off he scoots, I look around, in the dim light casting into the room from the hall, at the twelve or so scattered potentials taking up solid floor space and pick up my underwear. It's wet, I don't want to know, because no one produces that much snot. I feel a familiar feeling in my gut…Rage and pull back the bedcovers, to reveal the present Andy has left for me. How pleasant. I close my eyes and count to ten before calmly stripping the sheets off in the twilight.

You'd be amazed how many 'Shut up's' and' Keep it down's' you get when changing bed sheets, and how many people daren't say a word when they know you're doing something naughty. I find it comical. I dump them in the only spare corner to take for washing tomorrow and snuggle under the bare quilt, at the opposite end to the wet stain I am sharing a bed with tonight…If only that stain was Willow…Okay, that was a weird thought…

DIRTY GIRLS

I think if Willow doesn't come back tomorrow I'll kill myself…Or I could just get a plane to L.A. or something…That would be a better plan…

The stain came out, thank God. I warned Andrew about it, and he seemed rather embarrassed, and then claimed he was trying them on and it turned him on, rather than my earlier thought of him jacking off over me. Somehow that idea seemed to fit better…He's such a girl…

It's been around three days…My pining has sent my sense of time all wonky. I turn over in bed, the empty bed I'm still not used to, the empty bed that I changed the sheets on because of Andrew so now they don't smell Willow-y anymore. I feel uncomfy and I can't sleep because Rona has the light on in here. And everyone else is awake and loud.

"I'm dying! I swear to God I'm dying." I open one eye, regretting it straight away as the light stings it. It's Dominique and she's in the foetal position on the floor.

"I swear to God you'll be dead if someone doesn't turn the God damn light off right now!" I mumble and roll over.

"Kennedy! That's a little heartless…She's not well." Molly counters my bad mood, making it worse.

"It's only 'cause she ain't getting any that she's being so damn insolent." Rona mutters before I sit bolt upright in bed.

"Okay, fine, you want me up…I'm up…So what the hell's wrong?" I rub my eyes, they're puffy with tiredness, I haven't slept more than five minutes in a go since the garden incident the other night.

"I think she has the stomach flu…" Amanda pokes Dominique in the stomach and the blonde girl jumps up and sprints to the toilet, fast as a slayer…Wow…

Rona follows her. As does a real newbie and then I find myself getting up too…

"We should tell Giles or something." That's my advice? Tell the stuffy old guy? Willow must have taken my sense with her because I'm not in possession of it surely…

"Good idea…" Rona sends the newest of us down the stairs to tell Giles.

"Toilet's blocked…" Dominique groans as she exit's the bathroom, cluthing her stomach…Oh joyous times in heaven…Lack of toilet-ness…3am wake up call…No Willow…Possibility of catching whatever it is that Dominique is infected with…This day needs to be recorded…For the less fortunate of our population, then they may appreciate what they have.

I sigh heavily and make my way down the stairs after the newest newbie. It's pitch black and I can hear the sound of Giles' 'Huh? What?' as he's shaken awake. I smile, guess I'm not the only one having a rough night…Hehe…

I switch the light on in the kitchen, and hear a few grumbles from the three girls bagging it on the floor. I step my way over then to the fridge and pull out a carton of juice. Then I remember we have no toilet for now and put it back. I hate living here… I finally settle on a small glass of juice and a slice of bread, hoping that this will absorb the liquid in my system successfully. Then I step back across the three Mummies and switch the light back off.

Giles has the light on in the dining room and practically everyone is at least half awake by now. He has Dominique laid out on the dining room table and is prodding her stomach. "This hurt?" He prods her appendix.

"Not really." The shapr intake of air shows it does hurt, but evidently not as much as her belly.

"That's always good." He smiles. I just roll my eyes, it's not good to have a sick potential in a house with all the healthy ones, even I know that. I go back up the stairs and stand with Rona and two others as they knock on Xander's door. One up, all up isn't it around here? No answer from Xander.

We go to Dawn's room. "Hey, snivel, are you awake?" I tickle her nose with one of her fluffy teddies and she sneezes awake.

"What the hell do you want Kennedy, it's…" She checks the clock on her bedside table, "Half three in the morning!"

"The toilet's blocked and we can't get an answer from Xander." I grit my teeth, this one is so annoying, why not just wake Buffy? Because this one's less aggressive than Buffy on five hours sleep. True.

"Why don't you wake Buffy instead of me?" She whines, getting out of bed and stomping around trying to find clothes. We go and try Xander again. Rona opens his door. Is that…Is he…Is that his hand moving in that place where I never intend to go on any guy? Dear God I hope not.

"XANDER!" Rona shouts, no answer, oh my God he's doing it in his sleep…

"Xaaaaaaandeeeeeeer…" Rona extends it in her impatience, "Xander!!!" It's more of a hiss than a yell this time, but he startles awake and realises what he's doing.

"Wha-?" Is all he gets to say.

"God damn it." Wow, she's pissed…

"What's going on, I was…sleeping…" I see his hand shift a little under the duvet. Gross.

"Dominique has the stomach flu and the toilet bowl is backed up." There's three of us stood outside the room, leaving Rona to it.

He smiles a little, "I'll be right out. I got a…uh…" He takes one hand out from under the covers, I do hope he isn't making breakfast today. "A leg cramp." Rona nods, either not understanding what's going on or choosing to ignore it, and closes the door.

"Someone should wake Buffy, almost everyone else is up." I silently open Buffy's door, the bed is freshly made, the window shut, the curtains still open.

"She's out patrolling, she hasn't been to bed yet." I shut the door again.

"Oh…Well as long as she's up." Rona shrugs and heads back to my room. I give in.

I enter Snivel's room just as she pulls a shirt over her head, and over her body. Damn. "Oh my God, how long have you been stood there?" She wraps her arms around her torso as if it would hide what I just saw.

"Long enough." I smile.

"Kennedy, you are so wrong." She turns around and starts brushing her hair. Aww, Snivel's embarrassed. Bless her.

"Hey," I say it loudly and she turns around. I lift my pyjama top up, "We're even now, get over it." She stands there shell-shocked and I move in to sit on her bed. "So, what's on the schedule for today?"

"Think Willow's coming home…Not sure." She turns around and carries on brushing her hair. I contemplate the question I'm about to ask…

"Do you miss your Mum?" I regret it as soon as I've said it. Her hand freezes half way down her hair and she turns back around.

"Of cause I miss her, what the hell would make you think I didn't?" Her eyes look sad and hurt, and I wish I'd have kept my big mouth shut.

"It's just…Well I don't know if mine's dead or alive and I miss her, I think if I knew she was dead it would close some doors for me…You know?" I sigh and lay back on the bed.

"Maybe. If she'd gone missing and there was no funeral, no closure, no…body…I think it would be worse…" She gives up on her hair, and lays beside me.

"I guess, she didn't go missing though, my Dad made us leave her behind…" My eyes are stinging again, I won't cry, "That made it worse, 'cause I wanted to stay…"

"I know what you mean, it never happened, but it's in my memory when I'd go and stay with my Dad, he'd never take Buffy, he'd make me leave her and Mom behind…I hated that…" Huh?

"How did it never happen?" I don't get it, Willow said this thing was complex.

"Well, I wasn't real until after Buffy died really, I wasn't even created until a few years back, we're not sure of the precise date still. These monks created me from energy, into a human, a human that the slayer would guard with her life. A sister. I was the key to opening all the dimensions. When I unlocked them, Buffy jumped into the energy and closed the doors, it was Glory's fault…And mine, that she died in the first place. When Buffy died I stopped being a key, and then I was just Dawn…Dawn the kleptomaniac…Then Dawn the Potential, for a few hours at least…Now, I'm Dawn."

"Well…" I clear my throat, still in shock a little. "So are you actually Buffy's sister?"

"According to my memories and my DNA I am, but technically, my personality is almost opposite, they took most of Buffy's recessive genes and made me. Which in some way or another makes Buffy my Mom. But that's just too weird to think about. Plus I miss my Mom like any daughter would, and my head tells me she's my Mom, so…"

"Yeah, she's your Mom…I get it." I nod and turn to face her. "You are like her you know…"

"You never knew my Mom…" Dawn looks confused.

"No, I meant Buffy." She knits her eyebrows.

"I am?" I nod.

"Yeah, sure you are, you do your best, you love and get hurt too easy, you're strong and it isolates you from people…And you're ticklish behind your knees…" I tickle the back of her kneecaps and she squirms.

"Oh…You…Are…So…Dead…" She manages in between gasps and laughter. "Eeep" She jumps up and runs off…I smile.

I walk onto the landing and crash straight into Anya. "Hey there Ahn." I give her a dazzling smile, trying to avoid apologising. I hate that.

"Hey K, how are you at this…early or late hour…Depending on who you are and whether you're looking on the bright or dark side of things." Does this woman even speak English?

"I'm hoppy and bunnified thanks Ahn…" She looks at me with shocked wide eyes and then screams an runs off…Jees, what was that about? I shake my head in confusion and head to the bathroom.

I need a cold shower. Simple as. It's the only way I can turn myself off long enough to concentrate on anything beyond Willow, Willow, Willow-Land. Internal sigh. The cold water stings my old scars, and beats on my aching shoulders, I can feel it freezing my feelings slowly. Until there comes banging on the door. "Kennedy! Kennedy! KENNEDY!!!" Oh hell…

I drag myself out of the shower and grab a towel before yanking the door open. It's Rona. "Kenn, Xander needs to get in here and fix the toilet! And there IS a rota for the shower in a morning, you know that, you've had three showers in as many days, you're sending the rota all screw-y." I can't help but roll my eyes.

"Rona…News flash, the rota doesn't start until 7am, it's four thirty! And hell…Tell Xander to wait a damn minute or I'll only be straight in here pleasuring myself as soon as he's finished. I NEED a cold shower…Okay!?" I'm beginning to get that familiar burning in my stomach again…The shower wasn't long enough.

"ARGH!" She has a mild dicky fit and then slams the door in my face. I sigh out loud, just for the effect of hearing myself do it. Then climb back under the ice cold water jets. The burning quells inside me.

I can hear the phone ring in the distance as soon as I get out of the shower, my head is filled with static. "Kennedy, pick up the phone, or get someone to pick up the phone!" It's Willow.

"HEy can SOMEBODY pick the damn phone up!" I yell down the stairs.

"Got it!" Dawn runs past and I hear a vomiting sound. "Eww! Giles can you get the phone?" Dawn runs up the stairs covered in a somewhat unflattering layer of green slime.

"What the hell?" I raise an eyebrow, not wanting a punch for smiling or laughing.

"Dominique…Now I need some clothes and a shower." She looks a little more than pissed right now.

"Uh, I'll get you some clothes I guess, just…Please get in the shower…" She's dripping slime on the carpet, and it wreaks.

When she finally gets out of the shower she stalks across the landing wearing a towel smaller than any I've used for my hands before, never mind any other part of my body, and she bends down right in front of me so she can pick up the clothes I dropped in shock.

"You okay?" She asks, I'm obviously catching flies…Shut your mouth Kennedy, and it's rude to stare. I blink twice and nod, closing my mouth slowly.

"Uh-huh." I barely manage to say it before I have to exit the room a little too fast to not be blatantly obvious. Shit.

There's a rush in the kitchen when I finally get in there. I growl in a low tone and the potentials disperse a little. Amanda offers me a bowl of Fruit Loops…Ahh Fruit Loops, food of the God's…Screw Ambrosia…

I have a spoon in my hand when Andrew waltzes in. "Ooo…Have you heard?" He has a grin wider than he had the other night in my bed…This must be good…

"Heard what?" I try to sound uninterested and hope he'll go away…Apparently not…

"Faith's back…" He looks like he knows a dirty secret…

"Who? Are you feeling okay?" I raise my eyebrow at him…

"Faith! Her name alone invokes awe." He grabs hold of Rona and begins swirling her around…I almost spit my Fruit Loops over Amanda at the sight of her face.

"Faith! A set of principals or beliefs on which you're willing to devote your life" Oh he is talking some serious bull…For sure…He's now holding Rona's shoulders and looking into her eyes.

"The Dark Slayer." He has to be kidding…But his face is deadly serious…There are two???

"A lethal combination of beauty, power and death." Hmm, I wanna meet this girl…

"For years and years…Or to be more accurate…Months…Faith fought on the side of good, terrorising the evil community." He crosses himself, acting all-righteous.

"But…" He hangs his head and snaps it back up again, holding his finger in the air, "Like so many tragic heroes, Faith was seduced by the lure of the dark side…" Rona rolls her eyes and tries to walk away but he grabs her and pulls her close, wrapping his arms tight around her.

"She wrapped evil around her like a large, evil Mexican serape." This guy has GOT to be kidding…

"She became a cold blooded killer." He makes a cut-throat motion with his hands and knits his eyebrows together.

"Nobody was immune to her trail of destruction." He shakes his head vigorously…Please let him be joking, he looks ridiculous.

"Not friends…" He grabs a wooden spoon, that I'm guessing is meant to be a weapon and waves it at us menacingly…At least it would be menacingly if it wasn't Andrew…In Buffy's kitchen…At around six in the morning…Waving a wooden spoon… "Not family…" He points the wooden spoon at Rona.

"Not even the most pacifist and logical of races." He goes overboard and begins to enact a fight scene with Rona, throwing her into the counter and kicking off from the kitchen sink, whirling her round and holding the wooden spoon to her chest… "The Vulcans."

"What the hell are you talking about? I thought Faith killed a volcanologist…" A what? And how did Amanda know there was another slayer…Why didn't I know? I carry on chewing Fruit Loops, trying to remain neutral, what's the point in trying to act interested when no one tells you anything anyway?

"Silly…Silly Amanda. Why would Faith kill someone that studied Vulcans?" I almost snort, but instead I look at him, confused at how stupid one person can be, and put my bowl down on the side.

"He studies volcanoes…He was a professor…" I knew that, why didn't geek-boy know that?

"Ah yes, well…Regardless…" He looks away and then looks back at us. I can't help but glance at Rona, she just shrugs in pity.

"I thought you weren't 'sposed to be doing this no more…Makin' up stories…" Molly feels the same way I do…That we should kill him, the guy talks more than she does, and boy, is that saying something…

"I'm not! This is true. Except for that...possible...word misunderstanding." He sighs heavily, "There're the things you need to know about." He glances at a woman I haven't seen before, who is currently punching air in the back yard. Man she's hot…And she reminds me of me, which is so weird… "Faith...has a history not to be taken lightly." He turns back to us. "She's a killer. Never forget that. You must stay on guard around Faith at all times. Your very lives may depend on it." Oh for God's sake…

Chao-Ahn begins babbling in Chinese, and Andrew nods like he knows what she's saying, but he has no idea, none of us ever do…

I finish my Fruit Loops with the others and make my way to the back yard, the opposite end from our new guest, like everyone else, mulling over what it means to have another slayer with us…And what it means that she's a killer…I mean, isn't everyone a killer? Buffy's a killer, of Vamps, so are all we…Willow's a killer, Anya's an ex-killer, Andrew's killed things…I mean hasn't everyone killed a bug at sometime in their lives? We're all killers, surely Faith wouldn't sit her pert ass on the line with us if she still wanted to be evil and murder people…

"She was in jail, that's what I heard." Molly whispers to the group.

"Molly, like it matters, we're all in the same boat, if she was in jail, she did her time…Simple…Now she's here she doesn't need rumours and she doesn't need crap neither." I give her the warning look to go with my speech and she looks at the floor before starting to stretch. The rest follow. I hear Faith going inside, probably not one for the mixing…I know I wouldn't be either…Maybe her slayer senses heard Molly…Who knows?

Spike shows up, blanket covered, where the hell has he been? Oh…I see a bunch of demons following him…carrying…STARBUCKS!!! Coffee! Yay! We run and grab the demons hands off, I give Clem a big hug and, if it wasn't for the sight I saw the first time I met him, I'd have kissed that saggy face-skin of his too…Caffeine…Woo!

I'm buzzed, I couldn't really care less about anything right now, I'm bounce-happy all over downstairs…"Will? Can you hear me?" Static…Just…Static…Great…No one tells me anything, Faith is who she was fetching right? So where the hell is she?

Oooh caffeine…Hmm…What was I thinking? I can't remember…Oh, right…More coffee…Yum…

Gulping coffee, lots of coffee, I run up to Dawn, "Tag…You're it." And run off, she tags Amanda and Amanda runs for Rona, but she leaps out of the way and Amanda crashes into a vase. Smash.

"Who did it?" Anya pokes her head through the door, everyone points at me.

"I did not!" I pout and then think about coffee and grin, well that makes me look guilty…Why the hell do I care, it's a stupid vase!

Oh goody…Leftover coffee on the table, I grab it and gulp it. Then I run off and leave everyone to clean up the vase…It was Amanda's fault, just 'cause I started the game…No fair…Oooh coffee…Oh…Buffy…Buggar…

"And you have eyes like saucers with more dilation than a pregnant woman…How?" I bounce up and down on the soles of my feet and grin…

"Blame Spike, he's in the basement…He brought coffee and demons…And wore a funny brown blanket over his head so as not to combust…" I run off and up the stairs, crawling up onto the bed and standing on it to bounce…

"Bouncy…Bouncy…Bouncy…" I stop and hold my belly, I feel kinda sick now…Oh hang on…Static…

"Kenn, can you hear me?" Hell there's a lot of static, where the hell is she? "I'm at the hospital. Buffy's making her way here, hitch a ride with her, I want to see you." I almost leap off the bed, and down the stairs, catching Buffy just as she opens the front door.

"I'm coming with you." I grab my jacket.

"You are not." She goes to shut the door in my face.

"Hey, Willow said…She wants to see me." Blondie rolls her eyes…

"Fine, but talk and I'll kill you myself…" She grits her teeth.

"Deal."

We get to the hospital, it's getting around to two o'clock now, and my belly's rumbling, and churning full of bitter coffee-goodness. I'll grab something at the hospital. "Kennedy!" Willow runs up and hugs me, Willow-smell, Willow-hugs, I take it in and have to hold onto her, because if I don't, I fear I may just fall over…She smells sweet like always, of cinnamon and vanilla, warmth and purity. Makes me goose-bumpy.

"Hey, not to break up the lesbian love fest and reunion, but injured girl, has a message for me…Can we do this later?" I roll my eyes and sigh internally as she let's go, suddenly going from my loving Willow to the Buffy lap-dog Willow I brought her back from.

"Sure…Kenn…Do you mind?" Mind? Me? Of cause I mind! "Please baby, it's important, I promise I'll make it up to you…" Buffy rolls her eyes, I nod and Willow blushes.

"I wanted some food anyhow, I'll meet you back here whenever. You know how to reach me." I wink at her and then walk off.

Vending machine. Ooo…Coffee…NO!…No more coffee Kennedy, eat food. Okay, how much money do I have? Check pockets…Great…78 cents…So I can buy…A packet of mints…Nice…Oh well…

I'm still sucking on a mint when the pair reappear, looking gloomy. Willow's eyes shine when she sees me, I smile, but my belly grumbles. She laughs, "My baby all belly-rumble-y?" She puts her hand on my stomach and it growls again, louder. I nod, pouting, and Buffy rolls her eyes.

"Buff, I'm famished, you think we could get some food?" Willow looks hopeful, Buffy just sighs.

"Do I look like Pizza delivery?" She sighs again to emphasise her point, but me and Willow bat our eyes at her. "Fine…But you eat it before we reach home, I'm not forking out for a Pizza-Potential feast…No way…"

Me and Willow sit in the back on the way home, no one says anything about the girl in the hospital, we get noodles instead of pizza, and somehow Willow wangles a Mocha, but I get no coffee, though in all honesty, after the state I was in this morning when Buffy saw me, I can see why…

Willow doesn't think as she touches my knee and I feel heat shoot to all the right places in my body. I catch her arm in a death grip and shake my head vigorously. "Unless you want Buffy to see me grab you and screw you right here, right now, I suggest we finish our noodles separately and wait, deal?" She pouts a little, but seems to understand how bad I am right at this moment, did I just catch that look in her eye? The same one that stares me in the face in the bathroom mirror…Is Willow horny? Wow…

We're back at Buffy's now, gathered in the living room. Pep talk Buffy has begun.

"We've got a new player in town. Dresses like a preacher. Calls himself Caleb. Looks like he's working for the First. He's taunting us, calling us out. Says he's got something of mine. Could be another girl, could be something else. Don't know, don't care. I'm tired of talking. I'm tired of training. He's got something of mine? Fine. I'm getting it back, and you guys are coming with me."

Are we? Do we get a say in this? Scary preacher man, sounds kinda dodgy to me…Wait…Hold that thought, what the HELL am I on about, am I not Kennedy, Kennedy Prescott, the girl who trained her whole life to fight evil and preserve the balances. Screw your fear Kenn, face your destiny. That's right, STEP UP, you miserable, pathetic…Okay! Jees, no need to go all self-righteous on me, I don't need Buffy in my head thanks…Oi! Don't insult me, I can make your life hell you know…Oh be my guest, I think you'll find we're there already…Oh shut up…

"I missed you." I kiss Willow on the nose, leaving a slight wetness on it as I pull away. She wrinkles her nose and smiles.

"I missed you too baby…You know Buffy's making me stay here don't you…And she's making you go…" I hang my head…I know…

"Yeah." I answer, though I guess my reaction said it all, she cups my chin.

"Give me your necklace." I touch my hand to my chest, knowing it lays beneath my shirt. "I'll give it you back in a second. Trust me." I lift the chain over my neck and hand it to her. She places her hand over the top of it.

"Protect." She says it firm, and I see a wave of light pass down her arms to her hands, I guess it goes into the necklace. Cool. She hands it back to me and I put it on.

"How do I protect you?" I don't know any magic, and I'm not going to be here to look after her…

"Protect my heart, don't get killed." Is all she can say before looking away, I know she's thinking about Tara.

"I promise I'll try my best." I wrap my arms around her from the back and kiss her neck. I can feel a lump rising in my throat.

"I have to go and gather the girls that are staying, gotta get them in meditation mode so my barrier will stay up longer." I nod, understanding almost nothing from that sentence. "Xander's having a pep talk in the living room, you should go…" So I do.

"Now remember, we're looking for killing blows only, people." He hands Rona a bat, and I begin to rummage in Buffy's chest of hidden treasure, or…rather…Weapons. "So, chest and throat if it's a vampire. Stomach, chest and face if it's a Bringer."

"What if it's something else?" Ooo, good question Rona…I pick up a Mace, nahh, I throw it to Chao-Ahn.

"Could happen. Something other-worldly. And here's a handy rule: don't go for the flashy tentacles just because they're waving 'em about trying to get attention. Go for the centre…brains, heart, eyes. Everything's got eyes."

"Except the Bringers." Oh, Dawn is so quick off the mark, she should be an A+ student…

"Except the Bringers." Like it needed repeating as though it was a valid point…Jees…

"I don't want there to be tentacles. I'm not good with squishy." Oh for Pete's sake Molly, get a grip! I dig into the chest and drag out this gigantic sword, I raise it up in the air with some difficulty, that I hope to God doesn't show in my face…

"I don't care if it's Godzilla….I want to get in this thing." That's right Kennedy, just add to the void-y vacuum of conversation going on here…

"Godzilla's mostly Tokyo-based, so he's probably a no-show." Thanks Andy, that's just helpful isn't it?

"Besides, if Matthew Broderick can kill Godzilla, how tough is he?" Oh wow, I started a whole new thing here, aren't I good?

"Xander…" I'm guessing Amanda's wrong, seeing as Andrew's whining again…

"Matthew Broderick did not kill Godzilla. He killed a big, dumb lizard. That was not the real Godzilla." Oh my God…Like it freakin' matters!!!

"You people are even crazier than her." I have to agree…

"Than who?" Oh my God, how can he not know who Rona's on about?

"Buffy, man. I mean, taking us right into the bad guy's lair." Are we now back to the point? Oh goody, I like when that happens…

"Well, that's where, generally speaking, you'd go to find the bad guy. And I don't think you came here to fight plaque." I almost laugh, but the tension is too much for that right now…

"No, I came here for protection." True also. But I came to fight and kick ass…

"Well, you signed on to fight with…" Rona cuts him off…

"Look, I know, but…" She sighs heavily, "This plan is trouble. OK, Buffy doesn't care how many of us she puts in danger…" He cuts her off now, wow aren't we all well mannered around here?

"Let me tell you something about Buffy. In fact, you should all listen to this…" Duh…

"Uh, we kinda were." Good Kennedy, how necessary was it for you to say that right at this very moment…Oh God he's into Xander-Banter mode…Internal yawn…

"I've been through more battles with Buffy than you all can ever imagine. She's stopped everything that's ever come up against her. She's laid down her life…Literally…to protect the people around her. This girl has died two times, and she's still standing. You're scared? That's smart. You got questions? You should. But you doubt her motives, you think Buffy's all about the kill, then you take the little bus to battle. I've seen her heart, and this time…not literally. And I'm telling you, right now, she cares more about your lives than you will ever know. You gotta trust her. She's earned it." Wow…Hell he is so in love with her!Why is everyone crying?

"Damn. I never knew you were that cool." I don't know that voice. I spin round, it's Faith, wow her voice is husky, like a constant bedroom voice without meaning to be…There's an accent there too…

"Well, you always were a little slow." Oh isn't Buffy witty everybody…Round of applause…Not…

"I get that now." They should so screw each other…Sometime when we're not about to go into battle I mean…

"All right, let's saddle up." That's more like it…

We walk, it's more obvious that way, plus, it's not all that far…The sword is freakin' heavy…They talk perimeters, then we follow Buffy in…Like sheep to the slaughter we go…

"What is this place?" If Molly hadn't have asked, I would have…

"Looks like an old vineyard." Actually, it does, all the barrels and stuff…Smells like wine too…Wine and must…

"An evil vineyard, huh?" It is kinda funny…You gotta admit…

"Like Falcon Crest." Like where???

"Stay alert, you guys. Bringers are here somewhere. Just need to find out where." Probably not Buff…

"Shouldn't be too hard." Right on cue the Bringers pour out from behind the barrels…

One of them rushes at me and I swing the sword, but it flies out of my grip and he gets a good elbow in my nose, I don't think it's broken, I don't have time to check, he's having a good old punch up with me right now…I right hook and stun him. Damn myself for bringing such a massive, bulky weapon to a surprise attack…He trips my feet from underneath me and kicks me in the face…Pretty stars…No, stay alert, stay awake…No stars…A knife comes for my face and I grab it, trying to push it back at him. I succeed and take a moment to gather my thoughts back from their startled state. I scramble up from the floor just in time for Caleb's big entrance…Man does he look gay…

I watch in horror as he throws Buffy across the room with one punch, and then throws Spike into a wooden wall, splitting it and spilling cheap wine all over the floor…I run forward… "Let's Go!" Bad idea Kennedy, you don't have a weapon…Fists Kennedy, FISTS! Smack, right in the face, Ow. Did my head spin round? It felt like it did…Throw a blind punch, hope it lands…It does, but it's not hard, I bet it didn't even hurt him. I whacks me one right around the jaw, and I stumble back, slap bang into a bunch of bottles…I hear someone shout my name, scared…Don't be, I'm alive…I think…Damn, why am I spending more time on the floor than anywhere else here? Get the hell up…

But I can't, I can't move, I'm laid face down, I can't even see…All I can do is stay here, helpless and listening to the sound of my friends get killed, maimed, hurt. I promised Willow I'd stay safe, if I get out of this alive, I'll believe in magic as long as I live…I feel someone pulling at me, turning me…Xander…

"Are you okay?" I nod, what else can I do, I can't tell him I think my bruises have bruises, it's not the time, so I try and scramble up, I can taste my own blood in my mouth…It's not a nice taste I can tell you…The taste of being beaten…Of defeat…It tastes bitter…Metallic…

He lets go of me and I run, I don't look back until I'm outside with the others, where's Molly?

"Where's Molly???" I look around, Faith shakes her head and I can feel myself tearing up…No…We were the first three, me, her and Annabelle…I'm the only one left…I turn to head back inside but Faith grabs me and won't let go…

"No you don't brat, Red'll be pissed if she knows I let you go back in there for a dead girl…" I know she's right, but I can't help but fight it…

"You don't understand…You can't…" I try and elbow her in the ribs, but she wises up and moves me in mid air so I can't possibly hurt her without kicking her…

"I understand…If I put you down, will you run?" She is being deadly serious. I'm too tired, I give in…I'm crying and it stings my wounds…

"No." She puts me on the ground and I see Buffy and Spike holding Xander up, almost carrying him out. His eye…What the hell happened?

There's no time to ask…It was one of two evils, home, or hospital…

I chose home…When I got there Willow chose hospital…She was right, she had to see Xander…I got cleaned up by the ones who had stayed safe…The smart ones, the ones who realised they weren't ready…Foolish me for thinking I was…Foolish me for thinking Molly was…None of us were…Not Buffy, or Faith, even Spike…All I want is to go back to that vineyard and get Molly's body, I want to bury her, say sorry properly, say goodbye. Cry for how stupid we were, how stupid I still am. I hope she's somewhere better now. God knows she deserves it after what she's been through…

I'm crying now…Again…Why the hell did we agree to follow her?…We must have been suicidal…Damn Xander's speech, I bet he regrets it now…I want Willow, I want to hug her all night and cry silently…Hoping to high hell that we'll be okay in the end…

EMPTY PLACES

So over the past two days Willow's had a knackering time of doing healing charms, healing spells and a whole lot of healing hooger-fer-nanny that I can't even contemplate…Lucky for me, it took all of about three minutes until my stitches healed and my scars faded…Then we made out…For all of about two minutes, then it was someone else's turn to get healed, but not kissed…Bully for them…

Mostly I stayed out of everyone's way though, I've spent too much time over the past few days contemplating what it would be like to die…I've even discarded my charmed protection necklace because I seemingly am not too bothered anymore…It remains on the bedside table, while I am currently cooped up in the basement while Anya prattles on about Turok-Hans, letting Andrew make notes. Willow's at the hospital, where she's stayed since finishing all the healing-ness…Xander refuses to let her heal him right now.

Anya appears to think potentials have super strength…Wrongo! We're just normal teens, albeit a little more instinctive than most, but still fairly normal with regards to super powers…She really talks crap some days…And I'm beginning to break my promise to self about not wanting to die…I leave silently, it's not like I'll be missed, I seem to be invisible to most these days…

I catch Faith sat on the island in the kitchen, I haven't spoken to her really, the occasional 'Hi' and 'Bye' plus training talk I guess, but nothing interesting much…Guess this is my chance while everyone else gets their bore on.

I strut over, and she seems not to hear me, don't be too convinced Kenn, she could have you across the room and pinned against the wall in seconds…Question is, would I like it? It's probable…"Got enough to share."

"Trade ya for a carton of cigarettes and some soap." What the frilly hell? She turns to look at me. "Sorry. Habit." She hands me the bag…Of cause…Prison…"Shouldn't you be down at Hogwarts?" I guess…

"Probably." I take a crisp and hand the bag back to her.

"All right. Playin' hooky. Score one for the boarding school brat. Anya's technique's probably a little different than what you're used to." Hey I'm no boarding school brat! Why does everyone think that…I'm the kid that got booted from private school and screwed her home-tutor…It sounds so much better than boarding school brat! And I always used to wag it…Internal pout…

"Do you think there are gonna be questions about her sex life on the test? 'Cause I really hope I don't have to study all that." Amanda appears and I laugh at her comment, me either…

"Yeah." A big grin sweeps across Faith's face, do I wanna hear the rest of this sentence? "Whenever she starts talking about getting all sweaty with Xander like that I just remind her I had him first. Shuts her right the hell up." No I really did not want to hear it…

"Thing is…what's the point? Studying demon hot zones and pressure points doesn't do a hell of a lot of good when preacher man's out there, ready to finish the job he started." Stating the obvious again, but this time it was needed…

"No one's come up with any info on Caleb yet?" Duh Faith…

"No. Nothing is working…not research…not Anya's contacts." She's right, we've been researching ever since we got healed up and nothing…

"We're lousy with dead ends around here." I cross my arms, I'm bloody fed up, "Everyone's feeling pretty pointless. We don't even have a place to start." And even if we had a place to start we wouldn't have a plan…

"Hey, who's here?" Buffy's voice fills my ears…Joy…

We make our way into the dining room…And I get handed a bunch of papers…Caleb…Oh goody, a place to start…No plan though…Internal sigh. I sit down and flip through them, not paying much attention to what they're saying…

"Try to find anything that looks like Caleb, his church, his ring…" She trails off.

"His ability to render a slayer useless in just one punch." You have a fuckin' big mouth sometimes Kennedy…Buffy looks at me, she looks like she might cry, I can see Faith frowning at me…Say something then you idiot…"I didn't… that was stupid. I don't know why I said that." Which is partly true…Most of it is 'cause I'm bitter about Molly though…

"Uh, it's OK. Um...you know, I…I have to go to the school to pick up the rest of my stuff." She stands, I can see she's fighting tears…Damn it Kenn, she did her freakin' best!

"I really didn't mean…" I don't actually know what to say to her…In all honesty I don't know why I let my mouth work without my brain, I should get duct tape or something…

"It's fine. Really, it's fine. Don't worry about it. Hey, uh... isn't Anya doing that thing for you guys today?" She's trying to change the subject, I'm glad of it actually…

"Yeah. We were. We probably should head down there now." My cue to leave, come on Amanda, follow me away from the tension…

"Okay…I'll be back soon." We leave…

"What made you say that?" Amanda asks as we head down the stairs, Anya turns and gives me the dead eye, well at least she knows I'm the perpetrator of the boycott.

"I'm bitter…About Molly…That's all." And your jealous 'cause she has all the power and can't use it to protect your friend…Shut up…

I take a seat amongst the others again and Anya continues talking, I continue ignoring, thinking about Willow, I want Willow…

I don't eat…I can't…I have this constant lump in my throat that won't go away…I'm led on Willow-bed sulking when Snivel leaps through the door…

"Don't you knock?" I snap, regretting it instantly.

"Wow, you're making a habit of insulting people today…" She says it jokingly, but there's a hint of spite in there somewhere…I sigh out loud.

"I'm sorry, I guess I'm tired…" I lift my head up off the pillow and drop it back down to emphasise my point.

"Well you better not be, Faith's organised a Bronze trip for us all, mostly to keep us occupied, but I secretly think she wants to finish what I heard you started earlier, and totally piss Buffy off, she seems to like that a lot…" She makes her way over to the bed and sits down…

"When I'd have bad dreams, and Buffy'd be out patrolling, Willow and Tara would let me stay with them…" She sighs, I bet she's somewhere on memory lane…

"Sorry I'm not her." Is all I say, turning away.

"Don't be…You're so different, and yet…You're like one of my friends…Just like she was…" She places a hand on my shoulder, "Now get ready, we're gonna party!" She squeezes my shoulder and begins rummaging in Willow's wardrobe…Throwing clothes at me…

I have no idea why, but I end up looking more like Faith than me. Does Dawnie have a thing for Faith? Who knows…Shit…Does Dawnie have a thing for me? I have no idea, but I do know her and Faith are bi…Dead obvious…

At the Bronze, this band are playing, and despite everywhere else being deserted, the place is brimming…Still no Willow, so I order two shots of vodka, down them both simultaneously and dance with Dawn all night…Occasionally yelling over the music to her…

"Do you fancy me?" I scream at her…

"Whaaaaaaaat?" I lip read her answer.

"Do. You. Fancy. Me?" I say it slowly and she seems to understand. She looks thoughtful for a moment, either thinking of a clever answer or trying to process exactly what I said. The shock that crosses her face after tells me it was the latter.

"NO!" She puts her hand on her heart. I shrug.

"Jus' checkin'" I grin and she rolls her eyes…

A few lousy minutes pass of me drinking a pint of tequila flavoured beer, strange invention, and then Dawn gets distracted and runs off, "Hey!" I hear her shout and follow her footsteps. These police officers have Faith gripped pretty tight.

"What's going on?" As if it wasn't obvious Kenn. They're arresting her!

"It's cool. I got it. It's nothing'. Get-Get off me!" Faith's trying to fight them, unsuccessfully. It really is pointless to fight the police…

We all follow her escorts to the door, "I'm telling' you right now, I'm not goin' back to jail…" Is all I hear, I try to follow her out into the alleyway but policemen block the doorway.

"Stay back, this doesn't concern you." Oh those massive shotguns scare us so much…

Dawn walks forward. "You can't keep us in here."

The guy doesn't budge, "It'll be over before you know it."

Rona pipes up, "That's bullshit, let us out!" Man she's pissed off.

"Trust me, the best thing you can do is stay here." He ain't gonna budge for all the tea in China…

"Don't listen to him, he won't hurt us…Know what, I'm jus' gonna go borrow the phone…" And she goes to head off…He pumps his shotgun and fires it at a light…Holy shit…I find myself ducking as the thing crashes to the floor. Dawn stops in her tracks.

"The best thing you can do…Is wait…Here." He emphasises…Like it was needed…

I move forward, now I'm fucked off…I hate policemen at the best of times…But this, I might have only known Faith a little while, but she's been damn good to me while I've known her, plus…I hate being told what to do…

"You're gonna have to shoot us all to stop us." I almost spit it at him…I'd love to just spit on him…

"It doesn't really bother me." Oh well okay, I'll back off then…Not…

"These cops are really getting' Hellmouth-y…" No kidding Rona…

"Back up!" He shouts in my face, oh can I spit at him NOW? No…Wait…

"No!" Amanda shouts from behind.

His attention shifts to her, "What?" Now Kennedy, NOW! I grab the shotgun and turn it on him…Smashing it conveniently around his face at the same time, but he knocks it out of my grip. It doesn't much matter, Amanda smashes him around the face with a snooker cue and Rona and Amanda both boot him up the ass before Dawn leaps on his back and Chao-Ahn punches him. We rush for the door, Faith needs help.

Butch black officer comes for my face, I dodge him and kick him firmly in the gut as he launches a truncheon at my head. I block it with my arm and it catches my wrist, BLOODY OW!…It makes my arm throb, I grab the truncheon anyway and beat him everywhere I can aim at with my good arm. He ends up on the floor, so, for good measure, I boot him in the head too…He makes no movement…Oh goody, he's out cold, guess you shouldn't mess with the steel-toe-cap boots…Nope…

"Faith! What are you doing?!" Uh-Oh…We're in trouble…Well…Faith's in trouble…Which normally means everyone's gonna take some rap for it…

"Just blowing off steam. Well, it started that way. Turned when the cops went evil on us." I watch the others run out of the club to join us in the street. Great timing I have to admit. They wreak of spirits and smoke, I can smell it from here…

"Girls, go home." Man that glare at Faith was cold. Buffy sure has something against her…"I need to talk to Faith for a minute."

"Buffy, we weren't…" Buffy cuts Dan off.

"Dawn— you, too. Go." We go, I'm not staying and arguing with two slayers…No way.

When we get back, some of the girls are already sobering up. "Who let the marching band in through my ears?" Amanda taps her forehead and winces, regretting it.

"Hmm, that would be the several red sunsets you drank tonight, they let the band in through your ears." I raise my eyebrows at her and she pouts, I shake my head and open the door. Giles is stood in the living room.

"By the looks on your crestfallen faces, I see Buffy reached you before you were due to retur-…Where's Faith?" He knits his eyebrows and folds his arms mid-pace.

"Well, uh…" I don't really have an answer.

"Buffy kept her behind, probably she's in for a beating." Dawn shrugs… "These lot need sobering, we have any bread?" Giles flashes a look at me.

"In the breadbin, I think there's some more in the freezer…Kennedy, a word…" Shit. He walks into the dining room as the others head into the kitchen.

"They had alcohol?" His stare is somewhat intense.

"Uh…I guess…" I shrug, "Thought blowing off steam was a good idea."

"Blowing off steam is one thing, sending smoke out of your ears too is an entirely different matter, and you well know it…I'm surprised at you." Why am I getting this lecture?

"Can you not save this for Faith when she returns bloody and beaten by the slayer you're meant to have control over…" I turn to walk away but his hand goes on the wall in front of my face.

"I'm telling you because I know it was you that bought it…Faith wouldn't have." I narrow my eyes and turn to face him again.

"They bought it, ask them, if that stupid club bothered with I.D. you wouldn't have drunken potentials…But they don't, so you do…Deal." I head to walk off again, he goes to stop me but the phone rings.

"Damnit." He mutters under his breath and heads off to answer the phone.

I enter the kitchen and it's like a bread factory. Slices, loaves, bread cakes…This place is like Dough Ville or something. I hear Anya come down the stairs and her and Giles speak, I hear the door go but care not to find out which one went. Robin drops in from the basement to say hi before going out of the front door, I catch a glimpse of Faith. She got back okay. No sign of Buffy though. Maybe Faith beat her ass…Please?

Giles enters the room looking stern. "Xander's coming home." Why's he looking so stern? Then I realise it's me he's looking at sternly…Internal sigh. I follow him out, leaving them to enjoy their bread overload .

"I swear I didn't buy them drinks, I bought myself a few, and Dawn around four orange juices. No alcohol for Dawnie." I shake my head. "The others aren't my responsibility, they wanted drink, they bought it. "I mean, I had to scrounge money of Faith. Do you know how bad I felt? I come from a rich family sure, but I don't belong with them anymore, I told you about it. Just…Back off, I didn't do anything wrong…" I breathe and regret opening up immediately as I see his glare soften. He sighs.

"Very well…You might want to round the girls up, maybe make a banner or something…We should have a party…" He gets a glint in his eye and I know I won him round, and without him feeling sorry for me too…

Buffy charges in through the back door like a bull entering a china shop, just as Giles and I finish hanging the banner. Everyone's gathered in the living room, I feel sorta bad 'cause we didn't look much like a welcome home party…More like a trodden down, hung-over bunch of idiots. So technically we were, but it didn't mean we didn't have to make the effort.

"I just would like to say how very dis-" Buffy has her hands on her hips and I feel my eyes begin to roll into the back of my head. But Giles cuts her off.

"Buffy…Xander's home in a moment…Not now."

She shocks herself into silence and slopes off up the stairs, stompily, a storm brewing in that tranquil sea-type heart of hers.

Giles turns back around to face the wall, I think the poor guy's not sure what to do with himself. I know how he feels. Part of a dying breed, potentials, watchers, slayers, swatted like flies for centuries. People like Giles and me, we were born to die. There has to come a point somewhere that you become so used to the idea that you go insane, or incredibly paranoid…

The front door opens and Faith goes through into the dining room, a few seconds later Xander walks in, propped up by Anya and Willow, I'm guessing it's more for their benefit than his.

"Oh God." He doesn't seem to be able to manage much else.

"We didn't have time to do more."

"You have to pretend there's a big party here." I smile, not quite sure what to say or do. Dawn runs up to him and hugs him, not wanting to let go, I want to cry, there's a big lump in my throat.

"That's okay, parties in this house, I usually end up having to rebuild something." Always one for the jokes I don't find funny, I chuckle a little, unsure of whether I'm meant to. I sit on the settee and Willow sits on the arm of it, stroking the top of my hand. God, I've missed her so much…He's her best friend and he got his eye poked inwards 'cause I got knocked down…Stupid, stupid Kennedy…

"Welcome home Xander," Buffy steps down the stairs and into the living room properly, "I wanted you to be here for this." Oh God, what the hell is she gonna have us do now? "I think you'll be interested in what I found out…" She's wringing her hands, a sure sign that even she isn't sure of herself…Which is never good.

"W-what did you find out?" Willow asks, my hands still in hers, I'm looking at Buffy, hoping that my eyes are pleading her not to put us in danger again, I don't want to walk into the fire until it spreads so close I could ignite.

"I-its about the cellar…Look I-I know that night wasn't fun, for any of us, but I figured out some things about that place, and I realise now what we have to do…We're going back in…" I sort of just look at her, my jaw slack.

"Look…I know what you're thinking, but I had a visit at the school today, from Caleb…"

"Buffy, why didn't you-?" Dawn's still sat with Xander

"I'm fine." She cuts her off, firmly. "I mean it wasn't fun but I'm fine." I find myself letting Willow's hand go and an ashamed look crossing my face, I was the one that made the comment that made her leave in the first place. I was the one that caused her to run into that monster again. I could have been responsible for her death…Shit. "I-I figured something out. He kept making all this noise about the school." I keep looking at my hands ashamedly.

"Is it that seal again?" Robin asks.
"Do we need to try shutting it again?" Willow's voice makes me look up at her, I remember Buffy wants us to go back into the place where Molly was murdered. I don't feel so damn bad anymore…

"No, that's just it. We've spent all this time worrying about the seal and the Hellmouth. Why isn't Caleb guarding them? Why doesn't he have someone there protecting it? Why is he camped out at the vineyard? The bad guys always go where the power is. So if the seal was so important to Caleb and the First, they would be there right now. They're protecting the vineyard or something at the vineyard. I say it's their power, and I say it's time we go in and take it away from them." I mull it over, sure, but I don't wanna be back in that place, if I never ever see that place again I'll be fine and dandy.

"Or, in the alternative, how 'bout...we don't? I mean, it's a neat theory, B, but I'm not going back in that place, not without proof, and neither should you and neither should they." I have to agree, though I don't know her too well, and she got this lot drunk and us nearly killed by cops, she talks a hell of a load of sense to me…

"I'm not saying it's gonna be easy." Buffy, ever the straw grasper…

"I think Faith had the floor." Ouch, boyfriend mutiny against blonde and beautiful…Nice…

"Maybe it ends okay the way you wanna play it, but maybe it doesn't. And right now, I don't think I want you playin' the odds." Got it in one…The odds aren't even, hell they're not even close!

"Did you come here to fight?" That had to hit below the belt, especially seeing as Faith is a fighter through and through…

"Listen, we're fighters, all of us, but you gotta give me something to fight, something real, not-" She gets cut off…

"Windmills." This has to hurt, most definitely, not that I don't think she deserves it right now but that's Giles, Wood and Faith say no…

"There is something there." Again with the straws…

"Maybe. But we can't be sure of that. This is a hell of a lot to ask." Hear, hear Tweedy…

"Too much."

She grins nervously and looks around at us all…"I—I don't understand this. For 7 years, I've kept us safe by doing this…exactly this, making the hard decisions. And now, what…suddenly you're all acting like you can't trust me?" I've had enough, my mind begins to drift off…

"You're being reckless." Oh, Rona's having her say now, I want mine…Gimme soapbox…

"What?" Buffy steps back, not quite sure how to take Rona and her gobbiness.

"You are! I don't even know you, and I can tell! You are so obsessed with beating Caleb, you are willing to jump into any plan without thinking." Where can I come into this?

"That's not what I'm doing." Her teeth are gritted, but I've had enough now…For sure, I stand and walk over to her…

"Well, that's how it feels to us." I think of Molly, "People are dying…"

"Kennedy…" I hear Willow's voice, why the hell am I always in the wrong here?

I spin around, "Why are you always standing up for her?" I snap it and regret it instantly, seeing the hurt in her eyes…

"I'm not." Oh.

"What do you mean, you're not?" Uh-oh, that's five against Buffy now, not looking good…I move out of the way, trying not to listen to my girlfriend break her own heart…Turn her back on one of her best friends…I try not to listen as they all tear her down, this woman that's saved them and kept them living for so long…I try not to listen as one by one they turn away…And I try not to listen when Rona starts again…But I can't help it, and she makes so much sense that my head clears like fog when the sun comes out…

"And isn't Faith a slayer, too?" Yeah, she is…And that's it, I can see the light bulb brighten behind my brain as the words sink in…Faith can lead us!

"What? Whoa, whoa, whoa. So not what I meant. I'm not in charge chick. I think B here needs to just...chill out for a little bit, take a siesta or something. But I'm not the one you want." Evidently she doesn't think she's up to it, but, she seems so much like me that I reckon she could do it, and hey, if she won't…I will…

"Maybe we need a vote... to see who wants Faith to have a turn in charge." I voice my opinion and idea, and Buffy looks at me.

"No." She almost spits it…Woah. She didn't like that…

"No, what?" You're gonna have to give a decent reason or we're gonna vote anyway.
"No. You don't get to vote until I've had my chance to pal around, you know, get everybody drunk. See, I didn't get this was a popularity contest. I should have equal time to bake them cookies, braid their hair…" She's going to say something more when Faith cuts her off…

"Learn their names?" I can't help but give a slight smile and nod, I think she only knows my name when she wants someone to take the blame for something…

"You're just lovin' this, aren't you?" She looks at Faith, I can almost see the acid dripping from her tongue…

"You have no idea what I'm feeling." So true, know why? She only cares about what she's feeling…No room for anyone else inside there…

I try and distance myself from it. Try and stand back, keep my mouth shut while I watch Giles yell and Faith defend herself, Robin stay calm and everyone avoid Buffy's glance, I watch Dawn get up and tell Buffy to leave, by now I'm so numb I'm not sure what to feel anymore. Willow won't catch my gaze, Faith runs out the front door after Buffy, oh hell don't bring her back Faith, please.

She comes back again a few minutes later, her face a little red, no tearstains to be found though. "We should get started on a plan." Amanda states, and the hustle begins, I thought-shout to Willow…

"You okay?" I can see her anger, but sadness. It's coming off her in waves.

"Not really, I just watched my best friend get kicked out of her own house, and did nothing to help, excuse me if I'm being a little angry with myself and sad for her right now." I hear her tone in my head and hang my head.

"It's not your fault, go ahead and get your say, we'll talk later…I promise." I look up and she winks at me, I smile and prepare for the yell-fest of ideas and strategy…

TOUCHED

I can't hear from one person to the next, all any of them are doing is yell…I't murder…"Okay , okay, okay! Hold it…" I yell, and everyone looks my way, Giles rolls his eyes. "We have the power now, Faith knows us, with any luck," I shoot her a glance, "She'll listen to us, kinda a demo- uh, power to the people…" Damnit, what's that word???

The potentials carry on their bustle, I made hardly any impact at all…

"Power to the people?" He lifts his head up from it's resting place in the palm of his hand, "You sound like a child of the seventies!" Grr…I'm not THAT old…

"What we're saying is we're in charge in charge of ourselves." Jees…

"Okay, you guys…let's just try not to freak out." Faith is sat waving her arms on the edge of the settee.

"All I'm saying is now that Buffy's not here, we finally have some say in how and when we lose our necks." God am I the only one speaking decent English, or am I not speaking English, damn, that has to be it, I'm speaking a different language…Internal sigh.

"Maybe you don't have to be so blunt about the losing of the necks bit." He gestures with his hands across his neck, God why can't these people just handle that we're probably gonna die? I mean…Let's face it here, it's not looking much like sunshine and rainbows around here right now is it?

"No, let the girl speak the truth. We're all on death's door repeatedly ringing the doorbell like maniacal girl scouts trying to make quota." I give Anya a little nod, thank God, a sane person…

"You know, I'm thinking that everyone here shouldn't have a say." I hope he bloody well isn't talking about me…Of cause he's talking about you, you're too opinionated to be appreciated…Shut up you, I'm the one that thinks rationally, you just butt in with absolute crap!…I do not, I'm perfectly capable of making as much sense as you, just cause you're more attached to that wide open trap on the front of your face…I swear to God…That you'll what, kill me? Ha! Good luck, I live here…Shut Up…

I look up at Willow and see a little smile tugging at her mouth, damn, she's been reading my mind again…

I try and catch up with the conversation, "I just wonder if those of us who have been here longer should have more of a say." I completely ignore what everyone else is going on about, and thought-shout to Willow over the incessant babbling, "Quit reading my mind, you might hear something that'll make you blush so red a vein'll burst, and that won't be too pretty…" She blushes a tiny bit and I roll my eyes.

"This is mad…" She looks around at everyone talking at the same time.

"Yeah, I figure if you shout up, someone may hear you…"

I tune out and shout out loud to the group, "Shouldn't we get down to business?"

"You guys, I think we're wasting time arguing about how to argue." I see her eyes roll a little and can't help but appreciate the help…

"Well, why don't we…?" Amanda is abruptly cut off by Vi.

"Please do not mention parliamentary procedure." She waves her arms, evidently as stressed as me about this entire thing…

"I second that." Caridad rolls her eyes, I agree with her…My eyes are someday going to stick in the back of my head and I'll be screwed, but until then I appear to be stuck with the habit of rolling them in annoyance or disgust.

"Everyone, listen to me. Chill. All right? It's been a long night, and I don't know about you, but I'm wiped. Maybe we should catch some sleep and figure all this out in the morning." Is Faith crazy? I mean, I know I said less of the neck losing, but stop progress completely? She can't be serious.

"Do we really have time to waste?" I had to say it, I bet I'm not the only one thinking it.

"Look, I understand you guys are wicked stressed. Frankly, our situation blows. We've got to stay cool. That's the only way we're going to get through this. Can everyone handle that?" Fine…Not that I'm too fussed, bedtime with Willow…Yay!

"Yeah...yeah...we'll get some rest and then tomorrow, things won't seem so…" Vi stops as the lights go out, cue fifty or so girls gasping in a frightened tone while I sigh heavily under my breath. Fucking perfect. What now? I stand up.

"The lights went out." Duh, Caridad, stupid girl.

"I'll get some candles." Vi looks to me and shrugs, "If we have candles…"

"I'll check the fuse box." I begin to head towards the basement.

"Don't bother." Faith turns to look at me, "All the lights in the whole street went out."

"Which means?" Yeah you sound stupid, but…Hey, you won't be so confused Kenn.

"That the people from the power company have got the hell outta Sunnydale…"

"I think I'm freaking out." Vi starts to breathe in hyperventilation.

"No, no you're not." I glare at her, daring her to be a coward…

I watch as Faith comes over and grabs her by the shoulder.

"You're okay, remember the breathing from training…Do that." I say and watch as she shuts her eyes and starts to breathe normally.

"Anyone else feel light headed, do the same. Willow, you seem like the kinda gal to have candles…With the magick-y-ness and all that jazz…Fetch 'em? We're gonna need 'em." Faith removes her hand from Vi's shoulder and shoves her hands in her jeans, looking around to Willow as she speaks.

I watch my girl leave before I speak, "Take it bedtime's not an option any more?" I look over to Faith with a raised eyebrow.

"I'm too scared to sleep, that was too freaky, I like knowing that lamps and lights are an option…" Rona, always the positive one in bad situations.

"Thanks for that Rona." I say it dryly and sarcastically. "Okay what do you propose oh dark one." I look to Faith and she shrugs, claiming surrender with her arms.

"Pfft, like I know…" She shakes her head, "This is pretty new to me you know, brat."

I am about to argue back when Giles butts in, "Okay ladies, would you feel safer in the basement, it's underground, lined with row upon row of breeze blocks and you can have a meeting by candle light, think of it as a camp." He sighs, forcing himself into a standing position.

"Good idea, G-Man." Faith gives him a nod, I hear a low growl escape him at the pet name.

Ten agonising minutes later the basement is decorated with tiny flickers of light dancing across the walls, and we're all sat around like idiots, knowing big fat nothing and discussing our lack of knowledge.

"So," Faith surrenders with her arms again, but more questioningly, "What do we know?"

"Well, we know we're basically the last humans left in Sunnydale." Xander and his patch pass comment from the table occupied by him, Dawn and Anya.

"And that all the evil in town wants us dead." Caridad is sat with Vi.

"I don't want to die." Vi whines, evidently scared.

"Don't worry. It's far more likely you'll live long enough to watch most of your friends die first." Anya looks over to her for the last bit, "And then you'll die." Right, that's gonna help make her feel better…

"We also know that Caleb told Buffy that everything's going down at the seal. I think we should head…" Faith cuts me off…Man I hate that…I take a breath, calm yourself Kenn, remember your training, I dead-eye her instead.

"Let's not get ahead of ourselves. So, we know we've got a lot of enemies. We'll start there." Faith says it like Buffy would…Grr

"Faith, I'm sorry…" She cuts me off again, I'm about to leap over and throttle her…

"I got this, okay? So let's go over our rogues' gallery. Who exactly do we have here?" If that slayer keeps cutting me down I'm gonna scream…

"Well, there's the First, who we can't touch." Dawn says it, and oh look…She doesn't get cut off…

"Then there's our friend the reverend I-hate-women." And neither does Xander…

"Who's basically untouchable." Or Anya! Grr…

"There's the 'roid-rage vamps, who are pretty much the worst. And the…" Oh yay, I'm not the only one getting cut off, man this girl is RUDE!

"Bringers...I think they're our weakest link." Hmm…They could be actually…

"Are you thinking of attacking the Bringers?" Way to go Giles…Duh.

"Maybe, or... Okay, we could kidnap one." What???

"And what? Hold it ransom?" I think I may have spat venom…Whoops, shouldn't piss me off and then make fucking stupid suggestions!

"Yeah, I'll get the magazines and start ripping out the letters now. 'Dear Mr. First, if you want your Bringer back... well, we'll be surprised because you got, like, 3 million of them. So please disregard this letter. Yours sincerely…'" Oh goody, Xander gets cut off too…

"I'm saying we think about getting us a Bringer and making it talk. Find out info on the first and Caleb that way." Why bother?

"How do you think we should catch one if they don't want to be found?" Hey how come everyone listens to her?

"Okay, I'm not sure this is such a good idea. Why try and get information when we already know about the seal? Why don't we send a team to the high school? Do some recon and…" She cuts me off…Again, three times is way too many…

"No." Like I'm not even talking sense at all.

I sit back and take a breath, raising my eyebrow, "Just like that? You're not even listening."

I feel Willow's hand on my shoulder, "Sweetie, you're pushing too hard." She says it softly, but it still manages to aggravate the rage in the pit of my stomach.

"I thought things would be different now, but you keep shutting me down." It's more of a whine than a statement of anger, but it works enough for me, for now…

"Things are different, because now…" Faith stands up and looks around a little, "I'm your boss. Look, you guys, I'm not Buffy. I'm not the one who's been on your asses all this time, but I'm not one of you anymore, either. I'm your leader, which means I go first, and I make the rules, and the rest of you follow after me. Is that clear? So, Kennedy," She turns to me and I feel like a little kid again, my Step Mum is mad again, "Back the hell off, and let me do my job, all right?" I play with my tongue bar before biting down on my tongue hard to keep myself from either jumping on her and strangling her, or crying, whichever my dominant side decides. Faith seems to self-calm pretty easy, must be a prison thing, I, on the other hand, am to have a nice set of fingernail prints on the palms of my hands when we move…"Okay, let's get down to business."

"How are you intending on going about this Bringer-Snatch?" Giles asks from his position by the banister.

"Sounds like a kinda biscuit to me…Like Brandy Snaps" Amanda mumbles from behind me, I snort a laugh.

"Well Kennedy just volunteered to be our bait." Faith gestures toward me and I gulp my laughter down.

"Bait? Me? Why? Huh?" I stutter out, Amanda, Caridad and Dominique start to snigger.

"And you three just volunteered to go with Giles to back her up." Faith smiles widely at them.

"I'm…Going…Alone?" Giles looks at her wide-eyed.

"You taught Buff all she knows, gotta have a master there, I gotta take care of the tiddlers back here, got a job now G-Man." She winks at him and he casts his eyes to the floor.

"Right, this is what I propose, brat-face here storms outta B's house…" Faith is promptly cut off by Dawn.

"Excuse me, whose house?"

"Sorry, brat-face storms out of D's house in a huff, mumbling about me and how terribly evil I am," She shoots a look at Dawn, emphasising the 'D'. "The bringers will follow her 'cause she's alone, then we follow at a safe distance, and when they pounce, so do we." She nods.

"And then what, we tie one up and drag him back here?" Amanda asks, not being serious.

"Exactly." Faith smiles, "Good plan for my first, huh?"

We all look at each other, "Fine…Let's do this." I stand up. Weaponless like an idiot, I start to walk. I get out the door and hear Faith behind me, but I'm huffing out of the door before I realise that I am weaponless. Damnit. No going back now, I carry on huffing and walk down the street. I get to a set of shops and walk down the alley to the back of them, feeling my fake anger turning to fake sadness and confusion, man, I'm good at this acting thing, maybe I should consider a career.

I get halfway down the alleyway, looking from side to side, my ears burning with concentration when I hear something behind me, do I risk it being a person and get gutted, or risk it being a bringer and get charged with GBH. Jail time sounds like a plus right now…Especially seeing as everyone left this morning, probably a Bringer…I duck. Giles comes running to my aid, noosing him and, I presume tying him up.

Amanda, Caridad and Dominique appear and begin fighting a second blinded-beastie that's shown up. I take on the third to run from the shadows, first I paralyse his arm, and steal his strange curved dagger, then I stab him in the back, hmm…I know how much that hurts…

I stand and smile, "I've never been the bait before, that was uh, actually kinda scary." It was, I had a feeling that Faith had sent me out and told them NOT to follow, and after the way I out spoke myself, it would hardly be the most surprising thing in the world, mental note made to apologise on some level…

"We had your back." Caridad walks over to Giles, who is still trussing our Bringer up like a chicken.

"You did well. Your performance as a disgruntled minion was spot on." He says, unconvinced it was solely my acting skills showing through, he's not the only one seemingly unconvinced, I'm yet to believe it as well…

"I'm method." I smile, resisting the urge to wink, "Let's get this back to the captain." Wow, Kennedy has insta-respect for Faith as boss, just add humiliation and bam, there it is. Jees, who'd of guessed it…

It takes all five of us to drag the struggling monk-like wonder back to base. He wasn't gonna go easily. And he was kinda heavy for a shortish skinny guy. None of us have slayer strength either…

So as reward for being the bait, I get to baby-sit Dawn and the other potentials with Anya while everyone else gets to torture the hooded blind bat. Always nice.

"I'm bored." Dawn pouts, "How come we don't get to torture Bringer-Boy?"

"Hey, I was the one who helped catch him, if I don't get to torture him, then neither do you…" I eye her up and she pouts a little more.

"Well I think I'm the most qualified to torture him, ex-demon here, full of badness…" She nods, knowingly.

"Anya, you're not a demon anymore, I've seen scarier things on Cartoon Disney." Dawn looks over at her with a glare, I struggle to not laugh.

After about ten minutes they all come traipsing back up the stairs from the basement.

"Oh, hey. So?" Dawn looks over to Giles questioningly.

"Uh, the Bringer's dumb." Giles cleans his glasses and replaces them again.

"You were expecting, what, a Rhodes Scholar?" Anya adds sarcasm to the situation.

"Dumb as in mute." Giles states…Oh.

"Someone ripped out its tongue." Ugh, cheers Faith, needed to know…

"Oh, gross." Amanda looks more grossed out than me.

"Hey...I've been reading this old Turkish spell book. There's an old conjuration that the ancient Turks used to communicate with the dying." She looks all hopeful, hey, it could work…

"Oh, yeah. I think I've read a translation of it." Willow mentions, over the candlelight flickering across the walls, yeah, still no power…

"There's a translation of it?!" She pouts and sighs, calming herself…"I'm over it. Um, so the spell is used to communicate with people who can't talk. Um, like if a person was dying, this spell would let them say their good-byes or, you know, gripe about how nobody came to visit them. Would this help us with Mr. No-Tongue?" Aww, bless her…

"Yeah, I think so. I just need to get together a few ingredients." My girl, ever the optimist…

"All right. Well, cool. While Willow does that, the rest of us can…" Faith's cut off by an unexpected entry, Andrew and Spike.

"We're back!" I can't even see the guy yet and he's stepping on my last nerve…Spike enters looking more than a little lost…

"Spike." Giles makes a statement that simple sound so formal…

"Hey." And he can make a greeting sound like a warning…Nice…

Andrew comes in and places his helmet on the shelf behind Dawn.

"Hi, everybody. I missed you guys a lot. Sorry it took so long to get back from our mission-mission, but we had to wait out the sun. Well, I think our mission went very well. We, uh, we rode on Spike's hog, which was very cool, and, uh... uh, played some amusing games, and…oh! We got some new information. You know what? I really need to urinate." I roll my eyes and grit my teeth. Xander shrugs at me and sighs.

"He's a breath of fresh air, isn't he? Thank god I don't breathe. So, I think we got a lead. Where's Buffy?" Spike looks around…

"Um…" Dawn can't look at him, "She's not here right now…"

"When's she get back?" He's still oblivious.

Willow walks over to him, wringing her hands in nervousness, "Uh...while you were gone, we all got together and t-talked out some disagreements that we were having. Um... and eventually, after much discussion, Buffy decided that it would be best for all of us if she took a little time off, a little breather." God she is about as convincing as 'The cat ate my homework' or whatever…

Spike just looks at her, totally incredulous. "Uh-huh. I see. Been practicing that little speech long, have you?" Spike looks at her with much distain, Willow looks hurt and walks away, I want to go over and give her a hug, but don't move. "So uh, Buffy took some time off right in the middle of the apocalypse, and it was her decision?" He looks around, daring us to agree.

"Well, we all decided." Xander averts his eyes from the glare of Mr No-Heartbeat.

"Oh, yeah. You all decided." He laughs mockingly, "You sad, sad, ungrateful traitors. Who do you think you are?" We're doing what we think is best, I do feel kinda bad though…

"We're her friends. We just want-" Spike cuts Willow off, and I have an urge to smack that fucking bony face of his, until it's not just bony, it's bone…And nothing else…Jees Kenn, you got it bad…

"Oh, that's ballsy of you. You're her friends, and you betray her like this?" He just looks at us, with that glare that makes you want to crawl onto a hole and shrivel up…

"You don't understand…" Giles tries to stop him from giving us the long guilt trip, but Spike cuts him off too, man that really, really does piss me off…

"You know, I think I do…" His face is set with total distain, "Rupert. You used to be the big man, didn't you? The teacher all full of wisdom. Now she's surpassed you, and you can't handle it. She has saved your lives again and again." None of us can look at him, "She's died for you. And this is how you thank…" Thank God Faith butts in, cause I was beginning to feel like something he'd trodden in by mistake and was now repeatedly, and painfully grinding against concrete to remove…

"Hey. Why don't you take it down a notch or two? The time for speech-giving is over, bat boy." Niiice…Faith walks over to him…

"Oh, is that right?" He thinks he's clever now, and crosses his arms, I have a feeling there may be bloodshed…Stay tuned…God I'm so lame…

"Yeah, that's right. Save your lack of breath." Ouch…Spike just shrugs it off,

"All right." Then he lunges at Faith and punches her, I knew there would be bloodshed, what did I tell you? Hell I'm amazing…

"You're pretty sweet on her, aren't you?" She kicks him in the face, "I think it's cute." He punches her, but she punches back, "The way she's got you whipped." She kicks him and he flies into the dining room, I hear him crash across the table and onto the floor on the other side of it. She follows him into the door as Giles yells,

"Enough!"

But she carries on, and, not wanting to miss anything, we all follow…Faith punches and kicks him repeatedly, until he kicks her off and gets to his feet.

"Finally got what you wanted, didn't you?" He punches her again, "Where is she?"

"I don't know." He rolls her into the wall, knowing she was telling the truth, she gets up as he storms out of the door.

"Right then," Faith wipes her mouth, free of blood or spit, I can't tell, she whips around. "We're done wasting time on blood-breath, Willow, you were saying about getting ingredients?" As if nothing happened, man this chicks cool!

"Uh, right, I'll…Uh, go get them…" She looks at me pleadingly and I shrug and follow her.

"What do we need?" I ask as we go up the stairs.

"Uhm, I don't really remember, I'll have to check, see if I can find the translation first." She sighs, not really relishing the thought of trying to find it…

After about a half hour of pawing through musty old books, Willow shouts Dawn, ( "Screw the translation, Dawnie!!!" ) who comes jogging up the stairs. And with the spell, now start to find the ingredients…A few…A few she said, there was a page-full of bloody ingredients, all in Turkish!

She whipped round the room though, improvising a little, as most of her magical wonder was swept away in Buffy's magic ban, for Willow's own good, but Dawn helped, with the lending of a few bits and pieces she'd smuggled, and we muddled through. "Oh I do hope this works, preferably without me needing to dye my hair afterwards…" She bites her bottom lip, to which I find myself leaning in for a kiss.

I roll my eyes as I hear a cough from the doorway, and I see Willow in front of me stop biting her lip and blush, I turn to see Dawn stood there, "That's the last ingredient." She says as she hands it to me with a grin on her face, I playfully hit her around the head with the spell book in my hand, and we all go down the stairs, Willow and Dawn carrying nothing and me looking slightly pack-horse-ish with a spell book and a bagful of ingredients.

I watched Willow work, as she mixed them all together, it's amazing how one bag full to the top with ingredients can mix down into a small bowl. Willow goes down into the basement first, I follow, no one is keeping me out this time. Andrew, Xander and Giles follow us down. Why Andrew? He just annoys the hell outta me…

Willow begins all that stupid babble that I never get, and I find myself staring at pieces of lint until she's stopped.

"Speak to us." She urges him along, bless my girl, I love her.

"Maybe I should rough him up a little…" God I'm starting to hate Andrew, can't he just…Become a mute…

"Andrew!" Xander warns him, I agree…

"Quiet!" I hiss at him, hoping to shut him the hell up.

"I don't know, guys. That should have worked." I stare at the Bringer, hoping it will make him talk…Who am I kidding?…I'm not powerful…

"I am a drone in the mind that is evil." I roll my eyes and shake my head at Andrew, just fucking shut your geeky face…For once!

"Could you just shut up?" Xander pleads a little, pleads for all our sanity…

"I say I'm part of the great darkness." He's continuing…For Christ sakes!

"Somebody needs a reality check." I say it rather violently, implicating it in a way that if he doesn't shut his face, I'm going to jump out of this chair and smash his bloody face in…Which is mostly because, if he doesn't shut his face, I'm going to jump out of this chair and smash his bloody face in…Hell yeah…

"Or a muzzle." Not a bad idea Xander…

Giles looks over at Andrew, "Wait."

"I'm only a fragment of the we. We work as one to serve the First." Jesus Christ Andrew…I shoot up from my seat like my ass is on fire and stare at him…

"Okay, what do you…the we…do for the First?" Willow stutters a little, just makes me want to grab her…

"We work to prepare for the inevitable battle." This is just creepy…

I can't actually handle it, I grab the Bringer's knife from the table and put it to its throat…"How? Tell me exactly what the Bringers are doing."

"Kennedy, he can't see the knife." No shit Sherlock, stupid idiot…Oh shut up, like you could've come up with something better…I might have done, were you not all in there first with your irrationalisation of everything…

"We can feel the knife." Oh…Well, I guess it wasn't so bad then…

"Kennedy?" Giles puts his hand out to me, indicating that he wants the knife back, I stand up straight again and hand it to him, rather pointless in arguing isn't it?

"We attend to the needs of the infinite evil. We exterminate girls and destroy the legacy of the slayer. We build an arsenal beneath the dirt. We obey the commands of our teacher Caleb." Okay, is it just me that's scared? Or is everyone extremely good at acting calmly around things they're petrified of…

"Wait. Could we go back to the dirt thing?" Xander does a little hand movement, which is pointless, he's freakin' blind!…Yeah but you held a knife to his neck, he couldn't see that!…Okay, but, hang on, shut up, he could feel it, that counts…

"We build weapons to prepare for the coming war... at the farthest edge of town. We are everywhere. We are like the ocean's waves. We watch your efforts and are not scared. We will laugh at you as you die." I'm still looking at Andrew intently as I hear the sound of metal against flesh.

Andrew leaps up, "What the bananas?! You are so lucky that you did not just... magically decapitate me." Oh God, that would have been a pity…Internal eye roll…

!We've got enough here. We need to get Faith in on this. Xander, gather some maps. We need to find a subterranean space large enough to house an armoury." He leaves and we all follow, I don't understand how Buffy can brush him up the wrong way every five seconds, he's quite easy going if you do things his way…

I watch Willow's ass up the stairs, man I swear to God…If I wasn't so damn tired, I'd need some serious bathroom time tonight…But, with the thoughts I'm getting, their ain't much room in my head for tiredness…Just horniness…I need her…

Willow goes up the stairs, probably to get changed for bed before talking to the others, Xander goes into the kitchen to talk to the others and look for maps, Giles goes looking for Faith and me? I go into the living room. Rona and the others are sat in various spots across the floor. "Hey Rona, can I talk to you for a second?" I pull her up and over to one side.

"Sure, how did it go with the Bringer?" She looks kinda honoured to be the first to hear info besides me…

"Uh yeah, it gave us some leads…Now about tonight…" I try changing the subject, but she cuts me off…I don't have chance to be pissed off, as I watch Willow walk down the stairs, and I was right about the pyjamas, she's now carrying a map though…

"Well? What kinda leads?…And what about tonight?" She looks confused.

"Oh, some arsenal thing on the edge of town, Xander's looking into it…Uhm, Willow's not feeling all that spry after the whole magical mojo thing, you guys mind if it's just me and her tonight?" I grin without realising and try and wipe it off, I'm not fast enough…

"Oh, so you want us lot so crush on the floor while you get in tome touchy-feely?" She raises an eyebrow. "Oh you have some front Kenn…But, seeing as I know you quite well, and I know you ain't been getting Jack Shit the whole time you've been here…Except bathroom time, right?" I grin wider, she continues, "I guess we can sleep down here and let you get your 'quality time' with Willow…They won't argue…Watch." I nod, and turn to the potentials, as does she.

"Hey you lot, Rona has something to say." They shut up for a moment and look at us both.

"Yo, Kenn wants her some lovin', so we're sleeping down here, unless you want in on a lesbian orgy…" The others look at us, kinda spazzed out, "So I think you'll be running and grabbing your shit from their room right about now…" About twenty of the potentials leap up and head for the stairs, "Hey Dom, fetch mine."

"Now I'll tell you about the Bringer scoop." I begin, but Rona nudges me,

"I can do it." She looks at me, wanting to be big boss girl.

"Hell yeah you can, I'll uh, catch you later." I wink at her and smile as twenty or so potentials come streaming back down the stairs with sleeping bags and pyjamas.

I run up the stairs, fast as I can, tie my hair back on the way. Jump into the shower, watching not to wet my hair. Wash fast and towel dry, then run into mine and Willow's room in barely a towel. Grab some pyjamas, that are barely pyjamas, and pull them on without underwear. I leap quickly onto the Willow-bed and pull my hair out of the bobble, flinging it across the room, just in time for Willow walking in, in those pyjamas that make me wanna jump her.

"Okay, guys. Giles said Faith wants us to start early in the morning, so…" She looks up from the map and trails off looking around, "What happened to the girls?"

"Looks like there's only one girl here." I twirl my hair and hope I'm laying in a sexy position, it's been ages since I've had to really seduce a girl, plus, I'm so in love with her I can't tell if I'm sexy or just lame anymore.

"What about the other ones with their sleeping bags and their headgear and their snoring?" She stops, and then smiles, "They're not here, are they?"

"Nope." Man she's so cute…

She shuts the door and comes over to the bad, "Well that's nice." She sits down. I do a little 'Mmm' sound.

"Nice…" I lean in for a kiss, "And necessary." I kiss her again, longer this time, I steal the map from her hand and fling it in the same direction as the bobble, then put my arm around her waist firmly, "Come here, you." I push her down on the bed so she's right next to me, kissing her still, "Foreplay was threatening to turn into twelve-play." God I'm so lame, and look, she's turning away from me, fuck, say something Kennedy, "Something not right?" Bloody hell, don't ask that, she might say yes!

"No. No, I just, uh, guess I'm a little scared." I kiss her shoulder, her voice is shaking, it scares me a little…

"It's probably stupid to ask why, huh? Death, war, apocalypse." Sex with a girl you don't even like, I miss that bit off, as I deem it just my ego taking a hit…

"Me. I'm just scared that if we... and then I'll... and then…" Oh my God, she really is scared of sex, must have been a long time…

"And then?" I can't help but give a little giggle, and start playing with her hair, "Isn't that the good part?" Man, I really am not helping my case here, why not just tell her you're a self-diagnosed nymphomaniac…Jees…

"Good. Yeah, g-good feeling, but also…" She's so embarrassed, it's kinda cute…In a 'oh my God would you just say what you're thinking' kinda way…

"Bad stuff, like unrestrained moaning and screaming with joy?" I can't help but grin, though I realise I'm not exactly helping the situation by mocking her…

She fully turns to look at me properly, "Well, sort of. The unrestrained part. But I've just…I've kind of been in this space where I should be restrained. I've been controlling myself and I…If I lose that control, let myself go, I could just go." My baby's scared of Big Bad coming out to play with me…

"Hmm…" I think, stroking her cheek a little, "You worried you're gonna turn into big bad Willow?"

"It's not stupid. When we first kissed, I turned into...Warren." She grimaces, oh I remember that day…

"It's not stupid, but it's not gonna happen. I just want you to know you're safe with me." And she is, I'll take care of her…

"Yeah?" Jees, Kenn, you're meant to tell her this from the beginning…Fucktard…

"You can float around, and I'll tether you down." I grin, and rub her arm…In a hopefully reassuring way…

"You'll be like…My kite string?" She smiles, needing an explanation for everything…She really is cute…

"Mm-hmm. You'll be a kite, and I'll be your kite string, Okay?" I smile.

"Okay…" She nods, smiling…Finally…I win…Yay me!

Okay... " I kiss her, "Mmm...come here…" I lay her down and kiss her, containing my tendency to be a little rough, she needs fluffiness, not sandpaper…And remember Kenn, she's not all that kinky, less of the tongue ring…

"Wait." She puts her hand on my shoulder. I stop, sighing internally and look at her.

"What's wrong?" I look into those eyes and can't be mad, just, burn with passion.

"I…I love you." She smiles. I smile too, and kiss her deeply,

"I love you too…Listen, are you sure, cause I mean…We can stop any time you know…"
"No!" She blushes, "I mean…No…I'm good." She smiles, her eyes a little shifty, "I'm good." I grin at her, aww, Willow want sex? Hehe…

"Okay then." I kiss her again, working downwards, a trail of kisses down her neck, her belly, until I reach the waist band of her pyjamas, then I stop, and start back up again, her hands are flat out against the pillow, her eyes closed, her breathing heavy, I look at her and smile, continuing my path back upwards. I trail my hand up, putting pressure on her hips, and running it across the side of her right breast, not touching it.

I move my hand back down to massage her hip, her breathing short. I kiss her neck and she moans softly, making my stomach flip a little. I run my tongue stud up her neck and she moans louder, maybe the tongue stud use is okay…So I carry on using it, kissing just below her ear and carrying on down and then back up with my tongue stud, eliciting jagged breathing and before I know it, her hands move into my hair.

"Oh God." She whispers, hoarsely in my ear, as I continue my assault on her neck, her lips brush against my ear and I feel myself falling. I don't even notice my hand moving to her inner thigh, tracing patterns, my breathing is heavy too now…

"Kennedy…" She grabs my wrist, "Slower…" I gasp for air,

"Okay, slower, sorry…" I put my hand back on her hip, trailing it upwards towards her breast again, and then slowly back down.

"Don't…" She gasps, "Apologise…" She moans the word as my hand hit's the peak of her right breast.

I kiss down her chest again, to her stomach, tugging a little at her pyjama top, she lifts up so I can remove it, tossing it aside. I smile at her body laid out before me and run my hands firmly up her sides, tracing kisses on bare skin that wasn't showing before. I lick inside her belly button with my tongue ring and she takes air in sharply. I smile against her skin, moving my hands up to her bra-clad breasts once more, I straddle her, assuring her I'm going slowly, and trace kisses all around her bra, taking extra care to run my tongue inside the material wherever possible.

Her eyes stay shut, her face set in concentration on breathing and being a tiny bit quieter…"Can I?…" I watch her face and catch a slight nod as she raises up a little, I take the bra off and almost faint at the sight before my eyes, she's perfect…I lean forward again, kissing and licking beneath each mound, touching my hands slightly on her raised peaks, she arches, evidently wanting more contact, which is fine by me. I shift slightly and lick her left nipple, "K-Kenn-ed-y!" She shouts, arching into me, I slide sideways and her hip makes contact with my centre.

"Jesus…" I gasp, struggling to regain my posture, her eyes snap open.

"What? What's the matter?" Her hands go to her hair, I lean forward.

"I…I fell onto your hip…" I take her hands and put them on my waist, "Nothing bad, just…Really good…" I grin and kiss her, "Enjoy yourself, stop worrying."

"Uh-huh, yes miss." She closes her eyes again and relaxes a little.

I hook my thumb in her waistband. Her face flushes with colour, "Oh screw it, forget what I said about slowly." She growls. I sit back,

"Was that Willow? My Willow?" I tease as she blushes even more,

"Yes." She says sheepishly, avoiding my gaze.

"I like it." I nod, sliding to one side, careful to avoid her hips so we don't have a repeat performance.

"Oh you do huh?" She pants out, her eyes dilated in want as she pierces my soul with her gaze. I just nod, unable to form decent words, and pull my leg over her so it rests in between hers. I turn my hand so it curls neatly inside her waistband and inch her bottoms slowly downwards, moving my leg off her and then back again to rest against underwear.

"Could you lose some clothes?…Getting a little self conscious here in my underwear…" She grins, and I obey, pulling my 'barely a pyjama top' over my head and unhooking my bra, careful of letting her see the scars on my back.

"Better?" I ask her, in my innocent tone. She nods, staring intently. "Okay then." And I slide downwards kissing down her stomach gently at first, but then more rough as I reach the waistband of her underwear. I dig my tongue ring below the waistband and listen to the moan that escapes Willow's lips, I put my hands on either side of her underwear, "May I?" I ask, ever the sincere one…Who am I kidding, I never ask…But Willow's different, I actually care what she thinks…Hence the hiding of my back, keeping it from her…

"Uh-huh." She nods severely, like I'll be the one getting magically decapitated if I don't.

I pull her underwear off and admire her naked body laid before me, I nibble lightly at her hip and she arches up to the feel. I move so I am knelt between her legs. "You're sure?" I ask, tracing little circles on the inside of her thighs.

"God yes." She pants as I lick up and down each thigh with my tongue ring.

I gently part her opening, surprised at how wet she is already. And place a soft kiss on her centre, touching it slightly with my tongue. "Fuck." She arcs up into me.

"Hey, language…" I tease, "Gonna get you for that…" I trace patterns with my fingers from her knees up to the top of her inner thighs before running one finger up and down her entrance.

"Fudge." She arcs up again, I smile at her attempt for PG.

"That's better…" I place another kiss on her centre, longer this time, more passionate, more tongue.

"K-K-K…" She gives in, and instead tangles her hands in my hair.

I tease her with my tongue and occasionally my fingers until she begs me, (P-Please?), and I smile, and oblige. I suck gently on her swollen sex and slide one finger gently inside her. "Oh Goddess." Her body begins to shake, and she moans loudly. I lick at the liquid covering my hand, tastes like heaven. As orgasm ripples through her body I feel a familiar feeling in my stomach, one touch and I'll be gone.

She pulls me up to her and kisses me roughly, sliding her hand over my breasts. I feel like my head is exploding, she turns me over and all my muscles contract, she can see it in my face and pulls back. My body burns, my face is hot. "Steady Kenn." She teases me. I punch her playfully and pout…

"Your fault." And I cross my arms mockingly.

She removes my pyjama bottoms, "Someone was in hope I see…" She raises an eyebrow, I give her my best innocent grin,

"I uh, never wear underwear for bed…" I try, and she shakes her head disbelievingly.

She leans into me and kisses me, running her hand up and down my torso, she puts one leg between mine and applies a little pressure, spots form behind my eyes and my head falls back onto the pillow as I'm the one moaning. She moves down to my neck and then she teases my right nipple with her tongue, and my centre with her finger. I shut my eyes as little sparks fly past my vision and I arch into her.

"This won't take long." She smiles against my flesh, nibbling a little at my nipple.

"N-n-no, I d-doubt it will..." I gasp as she moves downwards and I feel her tongue come into contact with my sex. "God…" I breathe out heavily, no longer in control of my own body.

I can feel her tongue swirling on me, her fingers inside me, her breath against my skin, her body against my legs, my own muscles contracting, I see stars and moan out her name as I fall into a vat of hot lust. I gain some realisation and drag her upwards, forcing her mouth against mine, her leg catches my centre again and I find myself clawing at her back, "Fuck Will…" I gasp, as she grabs my shoulders.

"Hey, kite string, unravel much?" She sticks her tongue out at me and I smile, blushing slightly.

"Sorry…" I don't look at her,

"I like it, but…" She moves her hands off me to gingerly touch her back, "Ouch…"

"I'm sorry, I just, I…I don't know…" I can't find the words I want to describe it.

"It's okay, I'm…Not used to it that's all…" She smiles, kissing my nose, I look into her eyes, so full of love and smile.

"I love you." I say, moving my head up to kiss her properly. She kisses me and pulls back,

"I love you too." She rubs her nose against mine and cuddles her naked body against mine. I nuzzle into her, and we fall asleep like that.

I wake up shivering, I'm freezing, Willow has moved off me and is all snugly wrapped up in the duvet and I'm laid here naked as a newborn and freezing my ass off.

"Hey," I nudge her and then kiss her to wake her up, she looks at me with sleepy eyes, "Mind if I join you in there snug bug?" I give her my puppy dog eyes as she untangles herself from the covers and holds them up so I can slide in next to her.

'Beep beep beep' I groan, "What's that?" As I snuggle against Willow, covering my ears.

"The alarm!" Willow jumps up, "Get up, Faith wants briefing before we storm the suspected arsenal." I groan and bury my head. "Come on!" And she pulls me out of bed, so both of us are stood naked next to each other, I feel my will slipping even lower.

"Uhm, Will, if you don't put clothes on right now, I'm afraid I won't be leaving this room any time soon." I stare at her body, taking the sight in.

"Same for you." She nods at me, tearing her eyes from my body as I struggle to do the same.

I turn away and go to pick up my pyjama bottoms.

"Kenn…Your back…" I snap up and turn to face her, not looking in her direction.

"It's nothing." I bend to pick my pyjamas up before grabbing some clothes from the wardrobe.

"Doesn't look much like nothing…" She sounds hurt,

"My Dad…He…Look, forget it, we have briefing, I promise I'll explain later…"

It's about half an hour later when we get down stairs, I down some juice pretty fast and steal some of the marshmallows from Vi's bowl of Lucky Charms before she turns back around with the milk and notices. Then I perch myself on the arm of the sofa, next to Willow and watch as the others start to stream in. Vi takes her bowl into the kitchen and returns, just as Faith shows up with Robin, and a grin that says 'I got laid'…I knew it wasn't just us last night…

"Okay, here's the sitch, Anyone been here long enough to understand what the hell is going on, you're with me, hands up?" She looks around at the raised hands, "Giles? Weapons to all the ones with their hands in the air please?" Giles walks around handing us weapons while Faith continues,

"Anyone who doesn't have a weapon and isn't a Scooby, you're stay here, we're gonna need people here if something goes awry…" She waits for Giles to finish giving out the weapons and then waits for him to go back to his position in the corner, "Okay, Andrew, whadda you got for us?" Faith hands him the soap box (metaphorically).

"Well, uh, we went to the place, and talked to a guy, and he showed us a room with a bunch of stone tablets." He stops, checking if we're listening.

"Okay, I'm guessing the reason why all that was so vague is because it wasn't important, and not because you weren't paying attention…" Faith raises her eyebrows at him, "Continue."

"So, it turned out that all these stone tablets basically said the same thing. The First and Caleb are protecting something, and…And we don't know exactly what it is, but it's something powerful, and they don't want the slayers to get it. I'm thinking it could be a weapon, and if we're looking for an arsenal…" Faith cuts him off;

"You're not coming."

Andrew waves his arm, irritated slightly, "If one is looking for an arsenal, what better place to find a…" He trails off, waiting for Faith to fill in;

"Weapon. OK. Got it. Good. Good thinking, Andrew." Hmm, annoying but just smart enough to figure something out.

"It's a pleasure, Faith. Back to you." He hands the soapbox back (metaphorically).

She walks into the living room, over to the sofa where I'm sat and addresses Willow, Giles, Dawn and Xander, "Okay, I need you four to suss out the situation on B. I don't want you talking to her or getting in her way or, for that matter, letting her know you're there. Just do a little recon." They get to play Spy-Kids while we're more…Inspector Gadget…Cool…

"Where do you want me, Faith?" Robin pounces, by the looks of it hoping to get a nice little job for banging the leader…

"By your phone. I'll call you when I need you." Ouch Faith, bet that hurt his ego…

"What are we looking for? I mean, is there some reason we should spy on Buffy?" Dawn pipes up.

"We're just making sure she's okay. Those of you who are coming with me to the arsenal, you know who you are. Everybody ready? Let's do this thing." We all trail out into the street, I don't get why I don't have the crossbow…Internal pout…"Oh shoot, flashlights…" Faith stops and dashes back inside…I sigh externally, this is our leader? We're all gonna die…

When her forgetfulness returns, we walk for what seems to be forever and a day, I'm bored solid by the time we get there, I tried talking to Willow in my head but I kept getting static fuzz, she must be using magic to track Buffy down…Man, I'm really beginning to buy into this whole mystical jargon aren't I?

Before I know it, Faith has us diving down a manhole into the sewers, and the stench…Well, I just don't think I can describe it without swearing or throwing up…"I don't like this…" Vi hugs her jacket closer around her.

"Shut up you big baby, it's just a sewer, we're only looking for weapons…" I chide her and carry on walking.

"If we're only looking for weapons then why do we have weapons?" She spit's the words, cynically.

"To be safe rather than sorry…" I say it sarcastically, with my back still turned, walking.

"Still don't like it…" She mumbles, but I hear her and turn to glare. "Well I don't…"

"Shh." Faith hushes both of us with a back wave, we carry on, rounding a bend in the tunnels. We carry on walking, until we find our beams being reflected back at us…Metal…

"Everybody stop, I think we just found it." Faith states the obvious as she walks towards the piles of weapons.

"Look at all this." I look around at the mounds of roughly hewn weaponry.

"I don't get it, why'd they just abandon all this stuff?" Vi holds up one of the weapons as a Bringer drops down beside her.

"Maybe 'cause they didn't…" Faith nods, as though she was expecting it, but her eyes say otherwise.

Ambush. That's the only word, easily one of them to one of us, but unexpected means off-guard, they were prepared for a fight, the hell we were…

I swing my stupidly small axe into a couple of jugulars before realising the torch in my hand and using that too, to smash down on their heads. I'm concentrating hard, but I'm blinded either by glare from other torchlight or darkness, there is no happy medium down here, and my aim is suffering a little from it. I hear a battle cry and look round to see Amanda smash a Bringers face in, Vi plunge a sword into one's back and Faith stab another, then…Silence…

"Is that it? Not that that wasn't fun…But…" I hear Vi's voice, but I'm distracted by an opening in the wall…There's stairs leading downwards…

"Yo Faith, check this out…" I look toward Faith and then back to the doorway, she walks forward and I go through it, she follows first, and the rest follow her, down the stairs…

I watch as Faith steals Dom's flashlight and crosses a mesh bridge, the flashlight shines on a padlocked box…Gotcha…

She knocks the padlock off, and I hear the 'beep beep beep'. My first thought is that all this was a dream, and that was Willow's alarm clock waking me up, but the realisation hit me when Faith screams,

"Everybody get down!"

I feel myself being pulled to the floor by Vi and Rona, but my mind is only on one thing…Willow…

END OF DAYS

"Get Down!" Faith yells, hitting the floor, a few more beeps and I'm gonna be toast, and Willow will never know about my Dad…BOOM…A massive fireball explodes from the box and I feel myself being lifted from my position on the ground and hurtling through the air…Curl up Kennedy, curl up…Protect where there's no bone…So I curl up, the fire burning my skin, then as fast as it blew up, the fireball contracts back on itself and I land on the floor, covered over with debris I lay still in a ball…Am I alive? Am I hurt? I have no idea, I think I'm numb…I hear Amanda, then Caridad, then Vi, but I can't talk, my voice is…Well my throats full of dust…

Pull yourself the fuck together girl, stand up, take charge…Jees, yes miss…Shut up and do it…So I hurl myself to my feet, throwing rubble off me, "Where's Faith?" No how are you? No whose dead? Just where's our leader…Empathy Kenn, say it with me now…Shut the hell up, do you have empathy for me?…

"Don't know?" Christ, Vi sounds like she's having an orgasm, not going through traumatic pain…Internal sigh…

"Find her…" I say it more of a thought than a command.

"Maybe we should get the hell outta this place…They could…" Nice Caridad, abandon ship…No!

"Find her!" Now it's a command, we need a leader, and I ain't taking on that role down here…She got us down here, and I don't know the way out…

Vi shines a torch around frantically, discovering other potentials that are still alive until we reach up to where the wire mesh bridge was, a figure is laid face down in the water. Faith. "Get her out." I order three potentials. Walking over as they pull her out of the water.

"Oh God." Vi exclaims, looking away.

"Is she alive?" I ask. Amanda checks.

"Breathing. Pulse." She confirms. We're all gathered around her.

"We gotta get outta here." I look around a little, but I have no idea.

"Which ways out?" Vi's becoming a little hysterical.

"There's other girls, more than Faith, we don't even know how many of us are…" There's a distant growl and she stops, as do we all, and looks around. "Alive." She finishes.

"What was that?" Caridad asks, I can almost smell the fear coming from this lot. Jees.

"It could've been grinding metal. It could've been…" Yeah, you keep telling yourself that Vi.

"No, it was one of them." I might as well be honest, lying isn't going to help right now, I grab hold of Faith's limp body, along with a few others and look around for a way out.

"That's not possible." Caridad states, well, evidently it is…

"How'd it get in here?" Oh hang on Amanda, let me check my crystal ball…Jees…

"Plans?" Vi looks to me, why me?

"Run." Fight or flight…FLIGHT!

We leg it, up the stairs, and through the tunnels that look like the ones we came in through. We run, me and another girl dragging Faith along with us, until…

"Oh no, it's blocked!" Caridad's voice on the verge of panic stations.

"Oh my God." Vi's crying. Take over Kennedy, you're leader, take over!

"Cut the chatter! Up and over! Wounded first! Let's go!" We begin, the wounded first, but it's taking forever, and we're making too much noise. He'll find us, I know he will.

Vi self-volunteered last place, with me and the other girl dragging Faith over the top. But as she scrambles over, my fears are realised, and the Turok I was expecting all this time reaches for her. I grab her and pull her into my arms, backing away, with everyone else, from the ugly being.

It climbs over the pile and moves towards us. "Group together. Form a circle. Nobody panic. It's all of us, one of him. We can take one of these things." My mouth is moving, making the words, but my head is spinning, panicking. I feel my body going into a fight position, but my head can't form real thoughts. What's happening to me?

"Remember the training." Even though I can't. "Everybody, GET READY!" Even though I'm not really that ready. I feel something grab me from behind, I scream, but only for a second, my mind flashes back to my Dad, with his leering grin and his whisky breath. I throw whatever it is over my back. And back away from it.

"There's another one!" Amanda screams, thanks for that…

"Move. Move. Move. Move. Up and over." I don't even know what I'm saying, but it seems I'm on auto-leader. Nice.

"Not that one," Amanda grabs me and spins me in a different direction. "That one." Oh. Shit. It leaps forward and grabs one of the girls, I can't think, there's too much screaming, and my head hasn't stopped spinning yet. They take her and begin tearing at her clothes and her flesh.

"Weapons. Over there." Caridad points. Duh Kennedy, you're in an arsenal. I run over and grab a long axe laying on the floor. I run forward with it in my hand and stop, stock still as one of them comes towards me, blood dripping from it's gorged mouth. I swing the axe at it, but it grabs the wooden handle. Man this thing is strong, it punches me around the jaw. Fuck. Yep, this guy is definitely strong. He grabs me by the throat and lifts me into the air. Choking. No air. Willow! I look into his eyes, pleading him 'put me down', I need to tell Willow about my Dad, about how much I love her.

There's a crash to the side of me, but the lack of air and constriction of my throat stops me from looking over at whatever made it. I can see little stars dance in front of my vision, and not the good kind. He throws me down to the floor and I feel my knees crack on the concrete. I gasp for oxygen and cough, looking into the direction he's been distracted to. Fucking hell. It's Buffy.

I watch as she slices one, stakes another and is thrown backwards, dropping the weapon she carried on the way in, by the other Turok. But she runs forward and grabs it, spins back round, and slices the creatures neck. Dust, all three, in less than a minute. Fuck me. I stand there with my hand on my throat, realising she just saved my life. Bollocks.

She turns around and eyes us up, breathing heavily from her effort. "Get the wounded. We're leaving." She states, glancing at me slightly.

"Are there more?" Ouch my throat.

"There's always more." She almost sighs, in a defeatist way. "Let's move."

It takes a while to get out. And when we do, Giles, Xander and Willow are running towards the entrance. "What the hell happened?" Giles remarked, taking Faith's weight from Amanda, sharing with me, and groaning at the effort.

"It went bad." I state, only just figuring out that it was my dormant slayer-y-ness that kicked in down in the tunnels.

"You could say that." Amanda sighs.

Buffy charges on ahead. "Anyone that can walk faster, walk!" She says, marching off.

"Are you alright?" Willow asks, checking me over with her eyes. Probably using magic.

"I'm fine, go help Buffy, we've got Faith." I say, trying to avoid my long inevitable chat with her.

"You sure?" She asks, a worried look on her face. I nod, shifting Faith's weight a little as my shoulder starts aching. Damn my lack of slayer-y-ness.

After a half a mile, we find Xander and Amanda stopped and waiting for us. "Buffy said everything will be sorted when you get back." Xander reports.

"Thank God for that." Giles groans, trying to prop Faith up further. I'm panting uncontrollably, how long have I been holding this dead weight?

"Here, let me." Xander slips his arm under mine and I step back, rolling my shoulder to try and receive blood.

"Thanks. How far is it now?"

"Round the corner." Amanda points, I can see the house.

I realise upon entry that there is chaos in the barracks. Uninjured tending to the injured, blood and linen littering the place, cries of pain and shouts of anguish.

"The room upstairs is ready for her." Buffy supervises.

"Good." Is all Giles says before he and Xander cart her off up the stairs.

"Is she okay? Is she gonna be okay?" Amanda looks from one to another.

"I'm sure she'll be fine," I check with Buffy though, "Right?"

There's a commotion about Faith from the stairs,

"I'll be up in a second." Buffy shouts after them.

"You guys heal fat right?" I follow her in through the living room, "You slayers?" Well that's what I was taught. My neck hurts.

"Yeah."

"So, she'll be okay?" I ask, please let her be okay.

"I don't know." God let her be okay, Buffy's rummaging in an already plundered First Aid kit.

"What's with the axe thing?" Caridad questions, someone dabbing a towel to her head.

"I took it from Caleb." She shows it off. "Might be important."

"Let's hope." Vi whines a little.

"I think we got punished." Oh God Amanda, not another of your Annabelle-Like speeches…Not now…

"What?" Buffy looks at her,

"We uh, followed her. And it was…" Vi cuts me off and I turn to glare at her.

"It didn't work out." Vi finishes for me. Grr.

"You guys, it was a trap…It's not her fault. That could've just as easily have happened to me." Buffy assures, unconvincingly. Vi shakes her head.

"So are you…Are you like…Back?" Caridad asks, a confused look on her face.

"Well I guess I'm not leaving." She answers, taking the First Aid kit and the red shiny half axe-half stake thing with her towards the stairs.

"So…We got a plan now or anything?" I beg, please let there be a strategy.

"Yeah, there's a plan. Get ready. Time's up." Cheers Buff, so basically, we're gonna fly by the seat of our pants until the First gets his minions to rip them from us and carve their teeth into our flesh. Why what a wonderful leader you are. She disappears upstairs.

"I still think we got punished." I just glare at Amanda. Before shaking my head and walking into the dining room.

Everywhere I look there's girls tending to the wounded. But I find myself unable to help. I can't bring myself to deal with it.

I nearly died, twice. Again. And Buffy…She…Saved my life. No…No she didn't, couple more seconds and you'd have kicked that Turok's ass!…Who the fuck you kidding little girl…He'd have crushed your larynx…Shut up! I do NOT owe my life to Buffy…No way…

"Kennedy!" I spin round to the sound of Anya's voice, she's stood with Andrew in the doorway of the kitchen.

"Huh?" I only just manage.

"Watch the girls, we're going for supplies." And they leave. Oh joy. Responsibility…

It's funny, when someone puts me in charge, I either abuse it, or reject it. Now, I'm rejecting it. I go outside and sit on the back porch steps with my head in my hands. What the hell am I going to say to Willow. I rub my neck a little, damn it hurts…

4 Years Ago: Kennedy's bedroom

Laid on my belly, I've never had a more uncomfortable or lonely night in my life. It's 2am and I haven't slept for a second. My back is throbbing and my heart is aching and my head is pounding. My hands have swollen up with bruises from hitting, my arms are scratched from defending and my ankles and knees have a dull pain from hitting the floor at an odd angle. Oh God Carrie, I miss you already.

I stare at the patterns on my pillow, a spiral of black and yellow, like my life. Black, a colour so deep and depressing, deadly cold and uncaring, yet embracing to most. And yellow, so happy and cheery, yet, a colour of suicide and angst. Put them together and you get caution. Me, my life was a spiral of happiness to depression, and a caution to all. Fitting.

I shift a little and wince, feeling some of the wounds on my back break open again, and stop moving rather quickly. I fall onto the pillow, giving in any effort and energy I had left to try and succumb to sleep…No sweet dreams for me tonight.

It didn't take long for me to become a delinquent after that, I raise my head and look around me, it's around 4pm I'd guess. I listen intently, trying to see if I can hear anything that may need dealing with, before going back to my thoughts.

4 Years Ago (the following morning): The stairs leading to the main hallway in Kennedy's house

I wince as Emma slaps me on the back, on the way downstairs. "Morning." She flounces past me, practically skipping down the stairs in her new boots and short dress, hair extensions flapping from side to side. I take in air through clenched teeth. It's not her fault really, it's not like she knew about yesterday, unless she did. Little Bitch.

I grab an apple from the veg rack in the kitchens and bite into it gingerly. Before walking off to the laundry room. "Rosary, could you…" I trail off and decide against voicing what I want. Instead pulling my shirt over my head so she can tend to the bandages. The pain.

I grind my teeth together as she peels the bandages from my back, re-opening some of the lash wounds. I keep my eyes squeezed shut so I don't cry as my back tenses and burns with the sheer level of shock running through my nerves. "Jesus!" I cry out, going a little light headed.

"Hey!" She pokes one of the lash wounds, "No taking the Lord's name in vain, or I'll leave it to get infected." My nails embed themselves in my palm as I squint in pain.

"Right." I grunt as she continues.

Took me an age to get to school, the driver kept telling me to sit back in my seat, and I was thinking the whole time 'My fucking back you bastard'. And school was no better, I kept fidgeting in my seat because of the pain, and popping pills in the toilets to mask the pain for a little while. I drank half a bottle of vodka when I got in, and gave the other half to Rosary, to sterilise my wounds better, then, I gave her the rest. I smiled at the memory of the two of us drunk in the laundry room.

"You know Miss Prescott, my son's gay." Rosary giggles, slipping from one of the ottoman chests to the floor, taking another swig of the vodka bottle.

"It's Kennedy, and really?" I stare, disbelieving.

"Yeah, he lives in Brighton with his boyfriend, they own a club called 'DickLick'." She sighs, "I do miss him, I'd love to visit him."

"Why don't you?" My vision's a little blurry as I try and focus on the woman at my feet.

"Your father doesn't pay me for holidays, I can't afford it, plus, I don't think he'd want to see me." A tear glistens in her eye.

"How come?" I tilt my head to one side.

"His father, my husband, didn't take kindly to his preferences. Sent him away, and, I didn't want to be without my husband." She looks to the ceiling, seeming to pray a little.

"I'll take you, one day, I'll take you to see him." I grin, taking the bottle from her and swigging some.

Oh the bother I got in for inebriating a member of our staff. Oh well. I hope to take her to see her son one day. I wonder if she's still at our house, cleaning. Hmm…

3 & A Half Years Ago: Kennedy's 'New School Room'

"Okay, I'm Miss Buck," Man she's fit, an ass to die for, lips soft as mallow and eyes you could lose your soul in, "And I'm the poor soul chosen to whip you into shape." I wince at the word whip, but she seems not to notice.

"Yes Miss." I mock, cocking one eyebrow at her, "You know, you're pretty fit…For a teacher."

"Thanks." Miss Buck blushes and shuffles with her folder.

"My Dad letting you live here?" I ask, a grin spreading across my face.

"Uh, yeah, in the West Wing." She replies, not making eye contact.

"Hmm, fancy sharing? That's on my wing." I wink at her as she glances up, her cheeks flush again.

"O-o-okay, first up, English." She picks up a piece of literature, but I've already got up out of my seat and begun making my way over to her.

"Fuck me." I say, right next to her ear, she backs away, looking shocked.

"W-what?" She asks, her eyes bulging from her face.

"Sorry…Fuck me…Miss." I grin and lick up her neck.

We screwed all day…And then, after tea with my family, it was bedtime, and we screwed some more…How do I explain myself to Willow…

And how do I find words to describe that I let my Dad beat me with a rope…They just aren't…There…I have no vocabulary for that kind of thing…I only feel it in memories and pain…

I look around, about an hour has passed since I last stopped thinking. I make a decision and get up, going inside. The wounded are still wounded, but they don't look fatally wounded so much. "How many'd we lose?" I grimace.

"Uh, around eight." Amanda reports.

"Huh…I thought it'd be higher than that, nice job guys." I smile a little, Amanda looks proud.

"Well, we didn't lose anyone we brought back here yet." She adds, I smile bitterly at the 'yet' part, good not to keep your hopes too high.

"Good." Is all I say, "Hey, I'm gonna…I'll be in the garden, just…Don't wreck the joint." I give her a wink and she nods, understanding.

Okay Kenn, get a drink and sit on the steps again…But, I don't want to think anymore…Well, you gotta think of something to say to her, it's not fair for you to leave her in that way. I sigh and watch the water run into the glass before taking it outside. What the hell am I gonna say?

I think it over, I don't know how long I'm sat there, but the sun sets while I'm sat there. I'll just tell her the truth, there's nothing more I can do, I don't have any other excuses that could explain it, I don't have any reasons to give her for not telling her, and I can't lose her because of my Dad, I refuse.

I think on. Did Buffy save my life? Buffy Summers, the blonde psycho slayer saved my life, and for what? For nothing, I'm never going to amount to anything, I'm going to stay Kennedy the Wannabe forever. My hand reaches to the back of my shirt and inside it. I run my fingers across countless scars, aching in the cool air I can trace every raised line on my back. Paler than the rest of me they stick up, blaring in the face of anyone who should so much as come close to me. My cheeks are burning with shame, and cooling with tears as I stare off, through blurred vision, into the darkening garden. I owe my life to someone, that's something I never thought would happen. Damn it, I'm gonna have to thank her one day. One day soon though…Just in case.

It's dark, and getting kinda chilly when a sound jolts me from my self pity. The door handle moves, but the door doesn't open, I look towards it, oh God, it's another Spike and Buffy show down. I try and listen, but their voices are hushed, I contemplate for a while, before getting up and going to listen.

"I've lived for sodding ever Buffy, I've done everything, I've done things with you I can't spell, but I've never…Been close." I feel tears forming in my eyes. God I'm such a freak, "To anyone, least of all you. And last night, all I did was hold you…Watch you sleep…And it was the best night of my life." Tears fall from my eyes, I know what he means, all that time, just laying, watching Willow, holding her, and I was so happy. Then I sleep with her, and I find myself trying to distance myself, using my Dad as an excuse, well, I refuse, I'm going to tell her what happened. I'm going to bloody well swallow any ounce of ego and pride I have left (which I tell you, since coming here isn't a whole lot) and tell her everything. I've got everything to lose, but if I don't do it, I'll lose it all anyway.

I move away from the door and walk around to the front of the house. I go in through the front door and find most of the potentials sleeping on the floor of the living room. When I go upstairs, I find our room empty again, except for Willow and Giles. "So I'll leave that with you then." Giles appears to finish, when he sees me enter the room.

"Thanks Giles." Willow answers, focusing on her laptop, I doubt she even knows I'm there.

"Hey." I say coming into the room and sitting on the bed as Giles exits.

"Oh!" She turns to look and then comes over to the bed, "Hey there you." She comes over and gives me a kiss. "I'm sorry I haven't had much time for you today I…" I know it's rude, but I cut her off.

"Look, I needed some space anyway, so I could find the words to explain…" I jab my thumb over my shoulder to indicate my back.

"No, listen, you don't have to…" She shakes her head.

"I want to." I state, looking into her eyes, "You're the best thing that's happened to me since…Well since forever really…And I…I want you to know everything about me, I know your dark past…Time you knew mine…" I swat away my tears angrily, I hate crying, weakness.

"Okay, well…You know I'll listen, but you don't have to if you're not ready." She takes my hand in hers and caresses her thumb across the topside of my palm. Calming.

"After…Uh…After my Dad left my Mum, he didn't have…anyone to, uh, take his frustrations out on." I begin, God this sounds so lame, I feel like a little five year old. "And, I did try and be good to start with, but he'd…" I leave it out… "Shout." I choose the word carefully, "Anyway, and I…Well I decided that I might as well do what I wanted, if he was gonna…Shout…Anyway."

"Okay." She squeezes my hand a little tighter.

"And when he married the plastic princess, he couldn't…Shout…At her, cause, well, she was too 'pretty' to…Shout…At." I feel my muscles tensing and my eyes welling up.

"So, when something would go wrong or, I'd be bad, he'd get a rope or something similar and…Shout a whole lot…Do you get me?" I look at her, her lips quivering as she nods.

"Yeah, I think I do." She leans over and kisses my cheek.

"So I'd…Uhm, oh screw it…The bastard would beat me, and I'd go to Rosary, my favourite staff member and get her to patch me up, then it'd heal and I'd do something else crazy and we'd start all over again, with the ropes and the bleeding and the drinking and the long orange-coloured-water showers. I'd wear baggy t-shirts for P.E. because otherwise they'd see the padding, and I'd always sit forward in a chair, hence my habit of sitting on the arms of settees, 'cause I couldn't hack having my wounds against anything."

I'm crying now and I have to stop talking because I can't breathe, the last time I cried so hard I was alone, totally alone. Sat in the shower after I almost bled to death, almost was beat to death, and almost drank myself to death, all in one night.

Willow's stroking my hair while I rock back and forth. Jesus I'm such a baby. I growl at myself and swipe my eyes, angrier than before. "I hate him, I hate him for everything he did to me, I never want to see him again, ever." The hand that's not in Willow's is clenched, my nails imprinting into my palms. My teeth gritted as I try and block out the memories.

"It's okay, it's okay baby, you don't have to, I've got you." She takes her hand from mine and wraps both arms around me, laying me down.

"I'm sorry." I blub, burying my head in the pillow, my voice two octaves higher than normal.

"Shh, it's okay, I promise he'll never hurt you again." Her voice, it's different, I turn to face her. Scrambling back I see her face and her hair, block hair, pale face full of black veins, black eyes.

"W-Willow!" I shout, her hair changes back, her face flushing with embarrassment, and the veins going down she looks away.

"I-I didn't mean…" She tries to explain, "It…He made me angry, I just…I'm sorry." She holds her hand towards me, "Stay?" I smile, taking her hand.

"Least I know you'll protect me eh?" I poke her playfully.

"Hey, I'm not usually large with the butch." She tickles me gently and I wriggle.

"Well, you don't have to be when you get a face like that." I mock.

"You said you'd almost like to see Big Bad. What do you reckon." She cocks her eyebrows.

"Hmm…I'd rather have you any day." I laugh and kiss her.

CHOSEN

"Listen, baby, I'm gonna go downstairs for a while, you wanna come?" She tucks a piece of hair behind my ear absentmindedly as she talks.

"Nah, I'm kinda tired, big day coming and all, figured I should get some sleep." I yawn.

"Okay, I'll come to bed shortly." She plants a kiss on my nose, and then on my mouth before exiting the room.

There's so much in my head right now. Me almost dying, Buffy saving my life, telling Willow about my Dad only to have to face old Black-Root…It's just too full to sleep for one, and to have concentration for a fight on the other.

I fight sleep until Willow crawls into bed around morning, "Can't sleep?" She asks, pulling on pyjamas.

"No such luck, too much in here." I tap my temple, showing her what I mean.

"Yeah? Wanna talk about it?" She smiles, evidently not tired…I'm knackered.

"Buffy…S-she saved my life today…" I sigh, my hands going to my eyes, rubbing the tiredness from them.

"Oh, welcome to the club, she's done it countless times for me." Willow shrugs.

"You don't understand…I've never owed anyone anything in my life…Let alone my actual life…" I sigh heavily. "I don't…I don't want to owe her anything, and I don't know how to thank her either."

"You know you think too much, right? Buffy probably doesn't even remember that she saved your life, she does it so often that she loses count of the score." Willow slides her arm around me.

"Well, if we get out of this, I still wanna thank her." I smile into the dark, feeling my body succumb to sleep. I know just what I'd do for her as well…

The sun is shining when I open my eyes, must have slept well because the bed's empty when I wake up, besides me of cause. So Willow must have got up without me waking, which is so rare I can't even remember me ever doing that before. I'm puling a shirt on when Willow comes in, holding the weapon Buffy had yesterday.

"Any thoughts on that yet?" I nod in it's direction, tugging my braces over my shoulders, in my attempt at dressing.

"Uh, it's called 'The Scythe' best we can gather, it's what Buffy wants me to do with it that scares me." She places it on the bed, I do my braces up.

"Should I ask?" I mock, poking my tongue out at her, I notice a little shiver at the sight of my tongue stud and grin.

"Uhm, no…Well, yeah, she uh…" She begins, a little flustered, "She wants me to do a spell, make all potentials slayers, using the power from this thing."

"Are you gonna do it?" Wow, I'd get to be a slayer…

"I-I don't think I have a choice, it's the only way we're gonna have a chance at winning." She sighs, staring at the weapon.

"Oh…" Is all I can manage, when she turns to me.

"Be there with me?" Her eyes beg me.

"Of cause, kite string at your service." I smile, knowing that I can face Big Bad now…

"Buffy's gonna begin briefing, we should…" She gestures to the door.

"Right." I nod, heading off with Willow in tow.

"I hate this, I hate being here." She's begun, except, now…I'm paying attention, there's some respect there, what the hell has this place done to me? I have feelings and respect now? What the hell? "I hate that you have to be here." She adds, pacing, "I hate that there's evil, and that I was chosen to fight it. I wish a whole lot of the time that I hadn't been. And I know a lot of you wish I hadn't been either." I look away, as she so blatantly aimed that remark at me, "But this isn't about wishes, this is about choices," I look back up, knowing what she's talking about, "I believe we can beat this evil," I find myself nodding, I know we can, "Not when it comes, not when its army is ready…Now. Tomorrow I'm opening the seal, I'm going down into the Hellmouth and I am finishing this once and for all." As soon as tomorrow, nice. "You're asking yourself, 'what makes this different?'…'What makes us anything more than a bunch of girls being picked off, one by one…' It's true, none of you have the power that Faith and I do. So Here's the part where you make a choice…" She nods to herself, "What if you could have that power…Now?" I nod, almost frantically, a few others nod too. "In every generation, one slayer is born…Because a bunch of men who died thousands of years ago made up that rule…They were powerful men…This woman," She gestures Willow, "Is more powerful than all of them combined." My redhead looks uncomfortable, "So I say we change the rule…I say my power, should be our power…"

"Tomorrow, Willow will use the essence of this Scythe to change our destiny. From now on, every girl in the world who might be a slayer…Will be a slayer. Every girl who could have the power…Will have the power. Can stand up…Will stand up. Slayers…Every one of us. Make your choice. Are you ready to be strong?"

There's an eruption of 'whoops' and cheers for that speech, and I have tears in my eyes. I've waited so long to be a slayer, trained almost my whole life for it, and I'm gonna get it, tomorrow. Thanks to the woman I love as well…When everyone has calmed down…Buffy tries to go into depth.

"Willow…" Buffy gives Will the soapbox,

"Uh, right." She steps forward. "There's a spell, ancient and mystic in origin, that can transfer power from an object to one such intended party, but I think I can make it so the power can be transferred from the Scythe to every potential slayer, across the world." She pauses, "Any questions?"

No one raises their hand, or even speaks.

"I would say let's vote, but it doesn't really matter, we're doing it anyway." Buffy smiles, "With any luck, this time tomorrow, every person should be a slayer."

"With any luck?" I cock my eyebrows at her, indicating Willow by the wall once more, looking scared out of her head.

"Okay, this time tomorrow, every potential on the planet will be a slayer, because this…" She gestures towards Willow, "Is Willow Rosenberg, strongest willed woman I ever laid eyes on, a soul of steel and a heart that's stronger…Plus…More power than you can shake a gourd at whilst doing the hokey-cokey…" Giles looks away, embarrassed, while Buffy continues, "She's the most powerful person I've met, I trust her with my life, and you should trust her with yours, I know she can do it." Buffy looks over at my redhead, smiling. Willow has tears in her eyes.

"Now…" She claps her hands together lightening the atmosphere, "Jobs everyone!" She pauses, seeming to think. "Faith, Wood, you're going to school, block any exit that's not able to be covered by us." They look at each other awhile before leaving, "Kennedy, you're helping Willow, I don't think you could sharpen your fighting much more without injuring someone else." I blush a little, "Willow, if you could re-do the spell, so it's fit for purpose." I get up and go over to Willow.

"Come on you." I take her hand and lead her up the stairs.

I fetch food at dinner, and drinks when they're needed, but aside from that, it's pretty uneventful. The room slowly fills with screwed up pieces of paper, and Willow slowly fills herself with frustration, I lay behind her, watching the whole time, playing with her hair. Not speaking, just, comfortable.

She writes, and mumbles a little, and writes some more, then checks things in books, glances at the Scythe, sighs, crumples the paper up, tosses it into the corner and begins again. It's becoming a ritual in itself.

Eventually, when the sun has long since sunk below the skyline, she speaks to me, and not to herself.

"I really wish she hadn't said that about me." She says it with a quivering voice, she's nervous as hell. I'm just…mellow.

"What? The thing Buffy said?" I continue to play with her hair. She nods. "I think it's true." Well I do…

She whimpers a little, I guess she's not used to people having this much faith in her.

"I'll be with you, to keep you grounded." Kite string, at your service, remember?

"Yeah, well you might have to keep me stab-ded, if I go to the bad place." She notes, with a hint of dryness.

I sit up and look her in the eyes, "You're saying I might have to kill you?" What the frilly hell?

"I am." She says, seriously, before looking back down. I scoff,

"Bite me." Is all I say, I will not kill my girlfriend, what am I?…Buffy?

"I will." She says, seriously again. Then realises what she said, "I mean…I do…Mean it." She looks into my eyes. "The darkest place I've ever been…This is what lies beyond that." She indicates the mounds of paperwork laid out before her. "This is too important for me to…" I can't let her go on.

"Buffy believes in you." I say, keeping eye contact.

"You know Buffy? Sweet girl…Not that bright." She smiles, in a saddened kind of way.

"Hey, I'm the first one to call her out when she's not making sense, in fact, this may have escaped your keen notice, but…" I make a thinking face with a smile, "I'm kind of a brat. I've always sort of gotten my way" No matter the cost or the pain it caused me… "So you're gonna make it through this, no matter how dark it gets, because now…" I pause feeling that familiar lump in my throat at the sight of Willow's eyes welling up, "You're my way."

I hold her hand and kiss her. When I pull back she smiles, "I better go over this again." And picks up a piece of paper. I hug her from behind, seeming to understand what she's reading, but, it's just gibberish to me.

"Okay, explain this to me, if I'm gonna be there, I need to know what's going on." I'm nosey, what can I say?

"Uhm, right, well, there's gonna be candles, mostly 'cause there's no power, but there's gonna be five in front of me, in a kinda semi-circle." She draws a diagram to reiterate her point. "The Scythe goes here, right in front of me." I sit here, and you sit there," She indicates on the diagram. "A bowl of water, a pot of salt and a…uh," She checks the lists again, "Empty box sit in front of the five candles."

"For?" I ask, kinda interested.

"Uh, candles equals fire, salt is earth, empty box is air, and water is…Well, water…five candles, five elements, the Scythe is spirit, because that's what we're transferring the power from." She smiles, "And you, because I need you there."

"Got it." I smile, stroking her arm.

"Hey," Andrew calls from the door, "We're gonna play dungeons and dragons, you wanna play?" He's grinning from ear to ear, bless his geek-y nylon socks.

"I don't do RPG, just the real thing." I smile.

"Just thought I'd check…Willow?" He holds up the funny shaped dice and Willow shakes her head, indicating all the paperwork.

"Too much to work on." She says simply, he shrugs and walks on.

"I'm hyped." I bounce slightly.

"Me too." She turns to me,

"Wanna make out a little?" I grin,

"B-but the spell?" She looks a little scared.

"Will, you've been staring at the same bunch of words all day, surely you must have it, I know you." I see her face softening, "That's better." I pull her into a kiss.

We kiss for a long time, until the Scythe slips to the floor and paper begins to crumple underneath us. Willow curses mildly and stacks all the papers up and puts them on the floor, the Scythe laid neatly beside them. She really is cute you know.

"What time is it?" I ask, struggling to see the alarm clock.

"Uh, just gone 2am." Willow moves back onto the bed and I wrap myself around her.

"Well, Miss All-Powerful-Wicca, big spell tomorrow, think somebody needs sleep." She snuggles into me, so we're spooned together.

"G'night Kenn, I love you." I smile.

"You called me Kenn…" She looks up at me, a hint of fright in her eyes.

"I-Is that okay?" She asks, worried of my answer.

"'Cause…" I think and then smile, "Goodnight Red." She blushes the same colour…And I hold her tightly, like it's our last night together, 'cause for all I know…It could be.

There's a banquet for breakfast. Bacon, beans, toast, egg…I'm guessing Giles was the one getting Andrew to cook…Good old full English. No one shuts up all the way through eating, everyone's too nervous to sit in silence, except me and Willow who, noting all the noise, talk in our heads.

"I can't do this Kenn." She grimaces, taking another bite out of some fried bread.

"You can, I know you can." I munch on a bacon sandwich.

"I don't know if I…" The thought trails off, oh, that's why Buffy's giving a speech.

"Okay guys, this is it. Today's the day where you become what you were born to be, slay the very root of the reason you exist. Today, Scoobies, Potentials…Andrew…We defeat the First. Is everybody done with breakfast?" She looks around, everyone has half-full plates, "I guess not…" She sighs. "Giles, Robin, could you get the bus ready please?" Giles and Robin leave their breakfast and make their way to the front door.

"Anya, the weapons…Put 'em in a bag." Faith gets her moving, Buffy gives Faith a nod of approval, and a surprised look. I'm just shocked that they're both leading…

"Will, your bag of tricks…" Buffy winks at my redhead and Willow blushes, heading off to get her bag, I haven't been told to go, but I do anyway.

When we return, there's just Buffy and Faith in the kitchen. "Good luck B." Faith looks kinda awkward as she holds her hand out. Buffy laughs and pulls her into a hug, "Good luck Faith." They embrace, and then part, just watching each other, "Let's do this thing!" Faith grins, 'high five'-ing Buffy.

"Oh, Will, I forgot something, wait for me, okay?" I pull away from her and leg it up the stairs, grabbing the necklace my Mum gave me, before stopping on my way out to look at the picture of Tara and Willow I remember from first coming here, on my 'is she gay?' mission. I take the frame from the wall and shove it down the back of my trousers. Heading off down the stairs.

I sit awkwardly in the school bus, right at the back. Willow gets up to talk to Buffy and I take my chance at stowing the photo in the frame under the seat cushion. Who cares if the glass shatters? It's the photo that counts…I slip my necklace around my neck. I tap my pocket, one wallet. Kennedy Prescott…Today is Slayer Day.

The bus is erratically driven by Wood, who evidently never has, and probably never will be licensed to drive the school bus. It isn't that long until I feel the familiar bump up of a curb stone, then we fly back off the curb and stop abruptly...Nice driving. Everyone starts exiting, I almost run off the bus. My excitement level reaching breaking. Woods leading, he knows the place, I'm guessing better than Dawn or any of the other former students, but I'm probably wrong…

There's Wood, then Dawn, then Faith, then me. Rona's behind etc. etc. I guess Willow's still with Buffy. Robin does his pep-talk;

"Welcome to Sunnydale High, there's no running in the halls, no yelling, and no gum chewing. Apart from that, there's only one rule: If they move…Kill them." Buffy comes to the forefront…Where's Willow?

"Okay, Potentials…In the basement, follow Faith and Spike." Faith heads them off and our group is reduced to Scoobies, Andrew, and me…Woo…

Xander does his 'bathroom' speech.

"Willow, my office is straight through there," Wood directs and Willow nods, looking to me.

"It's right over the seal." Buffy assures her.

"I'll start getting you set up." I nod, as she hands me the bag.

I almost leg it into the room on my right, that corridor is creepy, and… Lonesome…

I check the diagram again, smiling at Willow's handwriting…Damn it Kennedy, concentrate…This is important…

I arrange five of the candles like I should, then scatter some around the room and light them up. No time for messing about. I pull the blinds shut and lay the Scythe behind the candles. I check for a pot, and there it is, I put the salt in it and place the lid on top. I find the glass bowl and pour water from a bottle into it. And lastly, I check the box is totally empty, pocketing the stuff inside it, and place it on the floor in front of the candles, with the other two objects. I put the book and the papers off to the side, in case she needs to use them.

She walks in, "Hey." Is all she can say, she's looking a little green around the gills.

"It's gonna be okay." I assure her, crouching opposite the Scythe. I watch her gingerly come in and sit cross-legged opposite me. The Scythe, and several household, but extremely magical items, separating us. She checks everything over. "They should be in place." I assure her.

"Okay. Magic Time." She breathes, "you ready to…" She laughs nervously, "Kill me?" She gulps slightly.

"Starting to be." I sigh. She nods and goes to pick up the Scythe.

"Good. Fun. Great." She holds it in her hands. "Brace yourself." Is all she says, looking into my eyes.

"Come on Red." I focus, clear your mind, chamber your energy Kenn. You can do this. Focus. "Make it happen." C'mon, make me a slayer. FOCUS!

She puts the Scythe back on the floor and holds her hands above it. Whispering the same words she'd been whispering all night in her sleep, I watch intently, trying with everything I have to ground her in some way, I can feel her pulling at me, at my energy, but this time…This time I don't mind so much…I'm ready. She closes her eyes, whispering the words over and over…Until…

Her eyes snap open and she starts breathing heavily. Oh shit, what's wrong.

"Oh…My…Goddess." She pants heavily, I can feel my essence being sucked out, I feel my head go limp, but my body keeps it's senses, she's controlling it…The Scythe glows white with energy and I have the strength to throw my head back up, I can feel it, more power, more…Everything. I smile. Basking.

I look over to Willow. Shit, something's not right. "Willow?" Should I pull her out? What do I do? She has tears streaming down her face, her hair is bright white. She's…A God…Well…A Goddess…But still…She appears to be somewhere else, perhaps some heavenly place…The Scythe glows again and then Willow falls forwards slightly, her hair returning to it's gorgeous red, and the room stops glowing as both her and the Scythe pull their energy back inside themselves.

"You…Are a Goddess." I make it known to her. She's my Goddess.

"And you're a slayer." She smiles, evidently knackered, she picks up the Scythe and hands it to me. "Get this to Buffy." Jesus Christ! My reflex's are sharp! I grab it and head off towards the basement, hope I can find it…

I go easy on the door, but I still feel the metal cave a little in my grip. Wow, this is gonna take some serious getting used to…

I find the stairs and take advantage of my new power by jumping from top to bottom and landing perfectly…I could get used to this. "Buffy!" I shout for her attention. "Catch." I throw it, power, aim, precision. Perfect. Wow, and on my God, she caught it without looking!

Evidently you don't get consideration for showing up late, 'cause as soon as the Scythe is out of my hands a Turok jumps on me. So I slam it into a wall for being so damn rude. Another comes for me, he gets a punch in, it hardly even hurts…I'm ready now, I'm always ready, I can hear things I didn't even know existed, feel the air flowing between every strand of my hair, see for miles across the barren canyon of the Hellmouth. I punch him in the stomach, lifting him off the floor with no effort, then knee him in the face and whack him around the head. Nice. "I could get used to this." I say it more to myself than anyone else, but it had to be said out loud.

I block another that comes at my and punch him several times in the torso, before swinging him into a huge stalactite. "They're leaving!" Vi shouts.

"They're retreating." I say, but I'm not so sure…They're running, but they're heading straight for upstairs, whish isn't good. I keep fighting, throwing them out of the way, stupid. Stupid Kennedy, don't fetch a weapon do you, no. Smart idea…I look down at my necklace, a slight white glow is coming from it. I smile. Protection. Power.

"Buffy!" I see Spike, "Whatever this thing's meant to do I think it's…" He stops, "Argh!" I try to get over to him, but another Turok gets in my way, I throw him far, almost over the edge of the canyon, but more and more keep coming at me. Buffy's giving out orders, but I can't hear, even Slayer-hearing can't hear over this riot. One thing I do hear though;

"Buffy!" Faith screams, I look over, oh Jesus she's on the ground, I have to go over there, thank her for saving my life, try and save hers…Something.

No. She told you to fight. So fight. Fight and win. Concentrate. I look around, girls falling. My friends…Dying…Murdered. Bodies, littering the ground. Death littering my vision. My heart weighs heavy. I notice one of the bodies most though. Amanda. It's then that I feel it. The strength, every death that happened in here, their power, dividing into me. I can feel Amanda's power, a part of her inside me. A part of every dead slayer that ever lived inside me. A heritage that I won't let some incorporeal jerk take away. It's too important for that.

Turoks come at me. Come on Kenn, steal a weapon. I grab one of the swords and begin swinging. Sword swinging is so much easier when you don't have to worry about the weight of it.

I watch Vi fighting and smile, she couldn't stab a sausage without it falling back off the fork when I first met her, and now she's killing Turoks like a pro. I look over to Rona, who seems way more pissed than usual, channelling it into every punch, every hit, she didn't have a clue before she came to Sunnydale. I look around and watch, no argument we ever had matters, no problem that we faced before this will ever seem bad again, and no bond between anything can be stronger than the bond between slayers. Wait…Strike that, Willow and I have a stronger bond, but, for the benefit of my speech, we'll dismiss it…

"Buffy!" Spike yells as a beam of light shoots through him, right up through…Wood's office! Willow! I panic.

"Spike!" Buffy yells, fighting her way over to him.

"Everybody out, now!" Faith yells, running for the stairs where Spike is stood, the beam of light is killing any Turok that crosses it's path. I just…Hope that Willow's okay. Think Kennedy. Oh, talk in your head.

"Red? Are you okay?" I send, please get it, please hear me.

"Yeah, what the hell is that?" She asks, clearly bewildered.

"The weird necklace Spike has on…Well…It kinda erupted, I'm on my way out now, I think this place is gonna collapse." C'mon, make sure they're getting out, and leg it.

I leap over dead bodies until I reach Amanda's. I take the stake she has in her hand and run for my life up the steps. Into the school, "Dawn, Xander, we gotta get Willow!" I shout through the entrance to the Science labs. They come running out. I screech into Wood's office, where Willow's laid around three inches from where Spike burned a hole. "I can't, my legs are like jelly." Willow shouts as I beckon to her.

I run over there and prop her up. "C'mon Red, you can do it." I smile, practically dragging her out of the door. Dawn and Xander run with us.

"Anya!" I hear him shout as I head for the door.

"On the bus!" Giles yells, "Who's still inside?"

"Xander, Dawn, Faith, Buffy, Anya…Spike…Not sure who else." I add.

"We can't afford to wait much longer." He grimaces, grabbing Dawn and Xander as they emerge and pulling them, along with Willow and I onto the bus. Giles double checks that Robin's alright. The principal waves him off and starts the engine.

Dawn runs to the back of the bus, my slayer senses hear the glass of the photo break as she jumps up onto the back seat to stare out the window, probably waiting for Buffy. I sit Willow down and check her over, "You okay?" I ask, she nods, she's okay. Thank God.

There's an explosion and I look out of the window to see a cloud of dust erupting from the entrance to the school, Faith runs through the dust and onto the bus. "Go." She says as she gets on. Robin pulls away from the curb on her word. I look around, we're injured, but I reckon we're gonna live. Vi's patching Rona's neck up, telling her to hold still. Giles is handing out plasters and Xander's dabbing blood ridden faces with gauze.

"Look at me! Stay awake! Look at me! This is nothing!" Vi's being a little too passionate about keeping Rona alive…Hmm…

Andrew is in shock. Seemingly repeating 'Why didn't I die' over and over…

Me, I'm looking for Buffy, and so's Dawn and Willow, I need to thank her, if she's dead, I have no idea what I'll do, I'll feel in debt to a dead person for the rest of my life. I search inside me, there's no essence of Blonde-Bimbo-ness, just a feeling that there's a strong force not far behind. It's catching up, and…It landed on the roof…So I'm guessing it's Buffy…Whoop!

Did I just feel relief that Buffy's alive? Oh God I did…I swear to God this place has done something to me! They opened a barrel of worms, and they all have feelings…That…Squirm around inside me…Argh! I smile…I'm not really a brat any more…I care. I look to the back of the bus and see Dawn's muscles relax a little, and behind her, through the window I see a giant cloud of dust rising up…Sunnydale sank…

"Ease off! Were clear…" Faith notes to Robin, who slows progress with the bus. "Xander!" Willow shouts him over, "I have to…" She tries to move, still tired from the spell.

"Yeah I know, you wanna see if she's okay." He offers her a hand and she gets up.

"Kenn…" Vi whispers, "Look after Rona while I sort Robin." She smiles, a tear in her eye. "Slap her if you need to, just…" She takes a deep breath, "Keep her alive, okay?" I nod, Xander takes Willow outside the bus.

"Did we…?" Rona coughs, spitting blood into some gauze.

"We won." I smile, "And…" I lean close and whisper in her ear, "I think you have an admirer…" She looks at me puzzled and I nod towards Vi knelt next to me tending to Robin. Rona's eyes fill with realisation.

"Oh." She grins.

We move Robin to another seat, and Giles takes the wheel, once everyone has climbed back in. "Where to?" He asks, directing it to Buffy.

"L.A." She sits down heavily, I go over to her.

"Listen, Buffy, I uh…" I close my eyes, "Okay, I suck at this sorta thing…The other day, in the tunnels, you…Saved my life…I wanted to say…" I breathe, "Thank you." She smiles at me.

"No problem." And she puts her head back to lean on the top of the seat.

"Y'know…" I add, and she lifts her head up in a tired fashion to look at me again. "I wanna thank you properly, you have no idea how much I owe you, never mind just my life…I know it'll never make up for what you've lost in this fight, but I wanna do this for you…" I sigh, not sure if I should offer it.

She looks at me intently, so I figure I can't just leave it there.

"I uh, remember at some point you talking about seeing the world…Well, I figure that money's tight around here, seeing as the bank just sank…And I wanna pay for you and Dawn to see the world. In style." Buffy looks at me awhile, her eyes amazed at me.

"You…Wanna pay for me and Dawn to see the world?" She asks, slowly, making sure she got it correct.

"Yeah, I do." I smile, "And, when we get to L.A. I'm gonna do it." I get up and go over to Dawn, sat in the backseat once more.

"Hey, I think Buffy wanted you." I smile and she grins, hopping to where Buffy is sat. I lift up the seat and pull the smashed frame out, just one crack, not as bad as I thought. I shove it down my trousers again and go over to Willow, who's talking to Xander.

"I uh, have something for you." I shuffle sheepishly as she looks towards me. I pull the frame out and hand it to her. She immediately bursts into tears.

"Thank you." Is all she says before burying her head in my torso.

We were all quiet for a long time, I look around and notice most people falling asleep. I smile looking at every one of them. My family.

Title: Another Point Of View

Author: LimeWater

Date: 31st July - 5th November 2006

Age Rating: 15

Summary: All 13 Episodes in which Kennedy appeared, written in Kennedy's POV.

Type: Drama

Pairings: Willow/Kennedy, Buffy/Spike, Faith/Robin, a little Vi/Rona at the very end. Memories of Kennedy's various other girlfriends.

Characters: Kennedy, Willow, Buffy, Spike, Faith, Giles, Xander, Dawn, Anya, Amanda, Chloe, Rona, Vi, Eve, Molly, Annabelle, Caridad, Caleb, various other Potentials, Turoks, Bringers and Vampires, if I forgot any I apologise.

Warnings: Lesbian sex, horny thoughts, bloodshed, violence, swearing, child abuse, death, underage drinking (In America anyway)…Others maybe, I can't remember.

Resources: Last four disks of Season 7, 'define:' Google searches, and most of all: for its transcripts.

Disclaimer: None of the characters are mine, the plotline isn't mine. They are property of Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, Kuzui Enterprises, Sandollar Television Inc., Twentieth Century Fox etc. Don't sue me.

Thank You to:

Well…the aforementioned website, without which I would never have begun writing this fic!

To ANYONE who reviewed, thank you so much, because I wouldn't bother carrying on with writing for this site if I didn't think anyone was interested enough to read it.

To Diane, who has sat and listen to me whine for hours about my problems, just so I can write again with a non-bias mood to the chapter.

To Sami, who constantly reads and reviews, and because she supports my 'writing' night after night.

To zigpal, who leaves positive feedback no matter what.

To Martha and MsTree, for constructive and positive feedback you left. I'm glad my version gave you a better insight.

To luckycharm, choupinette and iron for your interest and constant nice reviews.

And to: Latin B-Girl, Mishi, Tim, Aodhamair, Parker, emma, leleangel03, smurf, faylen, alyfan, worcell, CMM and onlyme…Thank you for reading and reviewing.

A.N: I hope you all enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it. Let me know if you think I should write a sequel, I have two positive votes already. It may not be for a while yet, as I have a few loose ends. But if you want it, the chances are that it'll get written.

If you, for any reason, wish to use material from this fic for any purpose, email for permission first. anyone wishing to know the girl behind the story, feel free to add me:

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