Stranger Than Fict-Ed
The FanFiction world gets turned upside-down when Ed, Edd 'n' Eddy discover that truth really is stranger than fiction…
Author's Note: This is actually the same story as Improvise-Ed. I wasn't happy with the title and summary so I changed it. Happy reading!
It was a bright and sunny day in the cul-de-sac, and the Eds were busy with another scam to get money for jawbreakers from the neighborhood kids. They were…
"Um, can it be dark and stormy?" asked Ed.
Uh, sure Ed, if you want. Anyway, it was a dark and stormy day…
"At night".
Okay, it was a dark and stormy night…
"Wait a minute. How are we supposed to do a scam when it's dark and stormy?" asked Eddy. "Everything will get wet".
"But Eddy, I want to do a scam at night. That's when Rolf does his chicken drives".
"Ha! Since when do you do scams? I'm the one who comes up with scams around here!"
"But Eddy…"
"But nothin'!"
Uh, can you two do your arguing some other time? I'm trying to write a fan fiction story here.
"Oh cool; a fan fiction story! I love stories!" shouted Ed.
"Yeah, especially when they're fiction. Your whole life is fiction Ed".
Uh guys, where's Double-D?
"Present. I was busy with our hotdog stand scam. And this time Eddy, please don't use hamburger buns for the hotdogs, they are supposed to go into hotdog buns," said Double-D.
"Ah, get over it," Eddy retorted.
"Can you make it so that chickens rain from the sky?" asked Ed.
"Ed, the author can't do that! Can you?" asked Eddy.
Well, I am the writer of this story and I can make anything happen. Okay, clouds starting coming together from all over the area. It was getting really dark and windy. Suddenly, the sky opened up and poultry began raining from the sky. They blanketed the cul-de-sac with feathers and the air was filled with the sound of their flapping wings. It was…
"Oh, this is so cool!" shouted Ed, as he caught two to three chickens at a time in his outstretched arms.
"Get away! Get away! Oh, so unsanitary!" shouted Double-D as he was being chased by the mob of fowl. The chickens were starting to rain down more heavily now.
"Make it stop!" shouted Eddy as he covered his head with his arms. "They're starting to peck at me!"
Oh, alright. The sun came out and the chicken shower ceased.
"Thank goodness that's over," muttered Eddy as he plucked out feathers stuck to his shirt and pants. "Don't do that again, okay?"
Well, I can't help it. Whatever I write comes true. Why, I could say that gravity no longer applied to your world and that you were in danger of floating off into space…
"No, No!" shouted Eddy, frantically waving his arms. However, his attempts were futile as he suddenly began to float off of the ground. Ed was slowly ascending into the air enjoying his newfound freedom as he did somersaults one after the other. Double-D was highly intrigued by the loss of gravity and took out a notepad and began scribbling furiously. Eddy was not too thrilled about this, and he frantically grabbed hold off a streetlight to prevent him from going any higher.
"Hey you, make things right again or else!" he shouted.
Alright, the gravity returned, and the Eds fell back down to earth.
"Ow!" yelled Eddy as he hit the pavement. "Can we please get back to our scam now?"
"Just a minute Eddy; I want to finish writing these notes down," said Double-D.
"Do it again!" shouted Ed.
"No way! If we do anything, it's going to concern our scam and us getting jawbreakers. From now on, I'm in charge of this fan fiction story, and I'll make sure that it's done right," said Eddy.
Um Eddy, are you sure that's a good idea...?
"Of course I'm sure. With me in charge, there will be no chickens falling from the sky or a loss of gravity".
But I'm the only one here who can write this story. You're just a character that I can manipulate at will.
"Oh yeah? Well what are you writing this story on? Paper? A computer?"
A computer, but I don't think that you could…
"What? Not be able to take control of this story? Well, we'll just see about that… Suddenly, large black anvils began falling from the sky!"
"No Eddy, you can't! Think of the repercussions of your actions! You could get us all killed!"
Um, actually Double-D…
"If I want anvils to fall from the sky, it's gonna happen Double-D!"
"Boy, this day just keeps getting better and better, huh guys?" asked Ed.
"Shut up Ed. Now, where was I? Oh yeah, let the anvils fall!". Fifteen seconds went by. Then thirty. Then a minute. Then two minutes. Eddy was getting impatient. "Where the heck are those anvils?"
sigh Suddenly, large black anvils began to fall from the sky.
Soon, there was a lot of whistling sounds as hundreds of black anvils began to fall from a cloudless sky. "Aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh!" screamed Eddy and Double-D as they ran all over the place trying desperately to avoid the falling anvils. Ed was just standing in one spot laughing while effortlessly avoiding the anvils by slightly leaning to one side when they got too close. Suddenly, Eddy tripped on his shoelaces and fell face flat onto the pavement. He rolled over in time to see a small shadow forming on his stomach. His eyes got wide as he looked up at an anvil heading straight towards him. He closed his eyes and crossed his fingers waiting for the inevitable to come. Closer, closer, closer…
And as if by magic, the anvils turned into Styrofoam!
Eddy eyes shot open to reveal a Styrofoam anvil sitting on his chest. He sat up and rubbed his head in confusion. "Did you do that?"
I already told you that I'm writing this story and that I can make anything happen, like your insides turning to Jell-O…
"Please don't let that happen!" yelled Eddy as he clutched his chest in desperation.
Don't worry, I'm not even that cruel.
"Well…thanks".
No problem.
"Cool!" yelled Ed, as he picked up an anvil. "Here Eddy, catch!"
"Huh?" said Eddy as he whirled around to face Ed. He was met by the anvil smacking him in the face. "Why you…!"
"Ha ha ha! You can't catch me Eddy!" yelled Ed as he ran off.
"We'll see about that!"
While Eddy chased Ed, Double-D carefully picked up an anvil and took out his magnifying glass.
"This is absolutely fascinating!" he said as he carefully looked over the anvil. "Hey Eddy, this could make a great scam for us!"
"That's a little offbeat, even for you," noted Eddy as he strolled over, hands in his pockets. Ed walked a little ways behind him with his lips tied in a knot.
"Well, I am feeling a little adventurous today, considering what we have just been through".
"Mmppphhhh, mmmmpphh, mmmpphhh!"
"I couldn't have said it better myself Ed," said Double-D.
"So when do we get started?" asked Eddy, rubbing his hands together.
"Right now".
"Sweet!"
"Mmmppphhh!"
"Eddy, you really should untie Ed's lips".
"Oh, alright…"
And so the Eds went about with their new scam, selling Styrofoam anvils to the neighborhood kids at twenty-five cents a pop. Little did they know that robot bounty hunters from Jupiter were waiting in the woods for Eddy when it got dark…
"What?!"
Just kidding!