Disclaimer: I don't own Chicago PD.

A/N: I really should proof this but it's 11.30pm and my bed is calling for me lol

This idea has been in my head for a while, I know I sure hate Landon so much and what happened there...

Also, thank you for the reviews on the smut for You're An Angel. Some commented it's different/ better than my first attempt... yep. I was playing it safe for my first attempt. Anyway, Linstead fans are such perves lol ;-) I'll make you a deal... I'll aim for every story to have some in it somewhere.

Shoot Me

"Get up." Jay's serious voice jars me from my conversation, I turn head to face him and the look on his face scares me.

He's not looking at me, he's looking – no glaring at Bunny.

Jay's looking at her like he wants to slam her head on the bar; he turns the same look on Landon.

Landon just raises his arms in surrender, eyes wide and terrified.

"Look man, we were just going to have some fun. No harm." I can't help my roll my eyes with a gentle shake of the head.

"No harm? It looks to me like Bunny is taking advantage of her daughter right now, plying her with booze just so she can crawl her sorry ass back into Erin's life. I won't let it happen, not this… poor excuse of a mother. And you - walk away before I make it so you can't. You're done taking advantage of this situation." Jay's voice is lethal, his blue eyes backing up his threats.

My mouth is open in disbelief and Bunny is spluttering and screaming for Jay to leave.

"Oh, I'll leave just as soon as Erin gets up." He turns his icy blue eyes to me and I feel goosebumps appear on my skin, chills radiating down my spine.

"You can't make me." Damn my stubborn nature.

All I want is to leave this bar with Jay and find comfort in his arms.

But I don't, I can't.

Hank found out about us and I left him twisting in the wind. I don't deserve him or his kindness.

I don't want Bunny or the booze, but I'm angry at Hank for keeping Jay and I apart and I'm angry with myself for allowing it. For losing the one person in my life I will always need.

Jay's arms are what I crave, what I need to survive the loss of Nadia but I won't allow myself to drag him down with me.

"That's where you're wrong." Jay reaches down and hooks one arm under my knees and the other supports my back and he turns and carries me bridal style out of the bar.

I suppose it's better than throwing me over his shoulder.

I quit struggling when we reach his car, admitting defeat by getting in with a grunt and a glare.

The ride is tense and silent as he drives, I'm not sure where we're heading but he's likely to drop me off at home and be done with me.

"How did you even find me?" I break the tense silence while sending a glare at the side of Jay's head.

"I'm a detective Erin, you really think I couldn't find you?" I sigh and roll my eyes; we sit in silence for the rest of the ride.

He parks the car at my apartment complex and gets out to come around to open my door.

"Do I need to carry you inside as well?" I roll my eyes before stepping out of the car and slamming the door behind me.

My feet are heavy on the pavement as I race towards my apartment complex, I don't need to see Jay leaving like everyone else in my life.

Everyone eventually leaves.

I'm so upset and caught up in my own baggage that it's not until I'm unlocking my apartment door that I realise he's right behind me.

He strolls into my apartment like he belongs here, removes his coat before proceeding to the fridge to get water, which he promptly shoves in my hand.

I'm still in shock as he makes his way to my couch to make himself comfortable.

"It's been a long day and even longer for you since I'm sure it technically started yesterday, why don't you go have a shower."

It's not a suggestion but an order, part of me craves him taking charge and caring for me. I think it's sexy and know it's what my stubbornness needs right now. Part of me still misses the sweet Jay, the one who never pushes too hard and waits for me to come to him.

Inch by inch.

My inches toward him have halted for the past month and I know he senses that. I'm not surprised he locked away the sweet Jay for tonight.

I make my way into my bedroom and then continue to the ensuite, stripping down and staring at my pale reflection in the mirror.

I'm ashamed to cry in front of Jay and appearing weak but I'm even more ashamed he's seen me like this.

The hot water burns but after the day I've had it's the last thing I care about. I lather my hair with shampoo and wash away the horrible day.

Shoot me.

I let tears fall as I recall this afternoon; part of me wanted this all to end.

The misery and heartache.

I drag a comb through my hair before shutting the water off and climbing out to dry myself with my fluffy towel.

My feet take me into my room to find PJ shorts and a singlet, which I exchange for the towel.

Tentatively I walk out to Jay who is staring hard at the TV, which isn't even turned on, I can feel anger radiating off him.

"I'm sorry… or thank you. I don't know what to say." My eyes briefly fall to my feet in shame, before looking up confused at the sound of Jay's bitter chuckle.

"You knew what to say this afternoon. Antonio told me." His piercing blue eyes are staring right into mine and breaking my heart.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you angry." I whisper again, tears wishing to appear in my hazel eyes.

"Angry? I'm not angry Erin. I'm furious sure, but not at you… at your fucking mother and I'm furious… at a lot of things. But what you have seen tonight? That's me fucking terrified. Do you not understand? Can you not see that? The thought of you wanting it all to end hurts me more than anything else in my life." Jay's voice raises as he stands up and walks towards me.

"What? Why are you terrified?" I want to reach out but restrain myself.

"Are you kidding me?" I just stare back at him completely unsure, the tension in the room building as we stare down at each other.

Jay closes the distance between us crashing our lips together, hard and fierce. His kiss is passionate and expressive of every feeling of his. It's as if he's trying to convey how scared he was, how much love he has for me. The kiss is searing and full of longing.

I feel my lungs burning as he slips his tongue into my mouth to battle fiercely with my own. We pull away panting heavily and staring intensely into each others eyes.

A/N: So, review and Part 2 goes up. There will be three parts I think. :-)

Someone asked for a fic about Jay's list of fantasies, yes that idea is in the works and I have about three fantasies in mind to kick it off.