I do not own any of the characters. They all belong to Charlotte Bronte, one of the best authors ever.
I know we were both tricked into matrimony. I know he doesn't love me. But why must circumstances make it impossible for us to be together? Pray tell me, why do I feel as if I was cursed with this illness?
No one on earth has any love for me, my brother being an exception. But surely God loves me, despite my countless imperfections. He loves me. He understands my imperfections. He is willing to forgive me everytime I pray to him for forgiveness. I can't help it that I am sinful by nature.
And then there is that governess. She is very small, obscure and plain. Surely Edward couldn't like her. There is nothing outstanding about her whatsoever. Unbeknownst to her, Edward and I are legally bound to each other. She had to find out some way or another. Perhaps if I went into her room and hinted out to her the marriage would never work, she would understand.
As I sneak in, I see her shift. She sits up and looks at me in horror. I turn around and look at myself in the mirror, then back to her. As I look around me despite the darkness that surrounds me, I vaguely see a white veil laying on a chest. So they are in love and planning to marry afterall. If that is the way it is going to be, I will have to convince her in some way that she cannot continue with this. I pick up the veil and turn around, facing her. By this time she has probably turned as white as a ghost. I slowly step closer to the bed, veil in hand. I hold it up, and proceed to tear the veil in two, right down the middle. I toss both pieces carelessly into the air, letting them fall, then sneak my way back out, laughing as I went. I thought I had outdone myself. Surely the wedding ceremony wouldn't go on after this.
Well, I was very wrong. As I saw that wretched woman and Edward arrive back home, I noticed she was in her wedding dress. I heard them storm up the stairs, and in a matter of seconds Edward came storming in with Richard and that miserable woman following closely behind. He introduced me to her. By this time I was enraged. I could not suppress my emotions any longer. I had to tell Edward in some way that I was disappointed in him. So help me, if clawing his throat was going to be the only way to tell him, then I was going to do it.
Curse the woman who has been trusted to watch me in this horrid attic! As she and Edward forced me down so as not to hurt anyone else, I yelled in hopes to make them stop.
All I ask for is freedom. Wonderful, marvelous freedom. But I am to be forever held down by the chains of insanity.