Hello! Here's another crackfic parody of Romeo and Juliet, brought to you by Snowdolphin and rainbow-dolphin! :DD

Just... accept things as you go, kay xDD All feedback is appreciated!

Fandom: Romeo and Juliet

Title: The Princess and the Dolphin

Warnings: Crack. Romance. Crack.

Rating: T

And now... Chapter 1!

It was a bright and wonderful day on the Verona Seas. Romeo, Dolphin Prince of the Seven Seas and son of Sea King Montague, was having lots of fun somersaulting and chasing imaginary rainbows around a big brown ship (don't ask).

His fellow sea creatures and subjects bowed and waved, but parted for him, most of the time shaking their heads despondently and wondering if there was really something wrong with the poor dolphin's head. Others just stayed as far away as possible, singing to themselves so they wouldn't hear his (horrible, but cute) singing. He hadn't matured mentally since he was a calf, at all. They just hoped that his current frolicking was simply to get rid of the taste of his mother's 'cures', and not another insane stunt that would get him beached again (for the twenty-seventh time, his friends counted).

Romeo himself hadn't noticed them. All he could think about was,"Ooooh, what kind of whale is this? Why does he have such a cool color! I want to be whale-colored toooooo! How long before he notices me and comes and PLAYYYYY with me?" And so he frolicked and teased and swam circles around the big whale - which wasn't a happy whale at all.

I mean, happy ship. Not a happy ship at all. No wonder it didn't respond to his incessant clicks and chirping. (He didn't know that of course.)

On board this very unhappy ship was a very unhappy princess, by the name of Juliet. She had just been dumped on this ship by the (EVIL!) Friar who was advisor to her father's court. Juliet's father, the king, was very, very sick, and seemed to be dying soon. Now, Juliet had never liked her father, nor her mother when she was alive, but she absolutely despised the Friar.

"Land, ho!" The captain of the ship called, burshing back her dark curls as she adjusted the telescope held to her stormy grey eyes. "Ye journey be endin' soon, lassie, and it won't be a good one, Princess - has no one shut up the blasted dolphin yet?"

"No, Cap'n Rosaline;" A burly crew member hurried up, apologizing; "We be tryin' ta throw things at it and even wheeled out our cannons for the blasted' thing; but it just won't go away! In fact methinks it just got more excited. Arrrrrrgh!"

"Davy Jones' Locker!" Rosaline cursed.

Yes, any stupid person would know at once that there was something wrong with the crew. Juliet was no idiot, and she was very sure this ship definitely had no intentions of being a diplomatic representation at some foreign land at all - much less the foreign land of Agrabakistan, which she was pretty sure was a landlocked, desert country anyway.

Juliet had a very, very bad feeling about this. Either that, or it was the crew's bad cooking. Which was almost as bad as their lies - Agrabakistan? Seriously?

Clutching the side of the boat to make sure she didn't accidentally fall off, she leaned over the edge and looked out to the horizon. The wind tried to ruffle her black hair, securely tied into a braid. Juliet thought that it was quite a nice feeling, looking out from the deck of a ship with the open sea all around her. It brought a sense of freedom she had barely got to taste during her childhood growing up as Princess of LaLaLand- and even those meagre tastes were gotten from her going against the palace 'laws' and sneaking out on her own. Deviating from the 'good little princess' ideal had brought her countless joys, and Juliet wondered if she could escape marrying some snooty prince in Agrabakistan or wherever these loonies were sending her to.

Her eyes focused on the 'land' that Rosaline had spotted- it didn't look like a foreign country. Didn't look like much other than a random patch of land bobbing above sea level- a tiny island. This couldn't be right- Juliet tried to look around for other landforms, thinking that perhaps what Captain Rosaline had spotted was too far off to see, but after a few minutes nothing else had come into sight.

The island was almost in their face now, and Rosaline threw her whole weight into cranking the ship's speed lever back- Juliet felt a sickening jolt, and it wasn't just because the ship was jerking erratically to a stop.

"All righ', Princess;" The Captain grunted, signalling for her men to get the longboat ready. "Down ye go."

"What?"

"Sorry, mate," Rosaline shrugged, although something flashed through her eyes. "We were told to just make you walk the plank in the middle of the ocean- but that's not very nice of us, especially when I've heard all ye stories about running away from the castle an' all that. You'll make a good Capt'n yourself, Princess- go do yourself a favor and catch a passing ship, pretend ye're an orphan, victim of pirate attack, whatever. Start a new life and stay away from 'at dastardly Friar. He stole our ponies!"

At this there was an enraged cry from all the crew. The Friar? Juliet thought with horror. I was right about him all along! And I'm leaving him with my ill father-

"Down ye go, Princess." Captain Rosaline repeated, drawing the rapier hanging from her fancy belt. She brandished it at Juliet, making the princess hurriedly stumble forward. "Hope ye catch a good ship. If ye catch a ship."

Captain Rosaline nudged Juliet forward again, harder this time, so that Juliet stumbled over to the edge of the ship - and into a longboat. Before Juliet could react, a bunch of burly sailors - pirates, she realised - began to heave the boat over the side of the ship. "Wait!"

Captain Rosaline groaned. "What now, Princess? Me an' the crew hav' ta get back to plunderin' royal ships!"

A long list of questions tumbled through Juliet's mind - who are you? Why exactly are you doing this? Can't you just take me with you? What did the Friar tell you?

Instead she said, "Why would you need ponies? You're pirates! Sea pirates!"

Captain Rosaline rolled her eyes. "They be pretty, lassie, and that's all that matters! That," she said thoughtfully, rubbing her imaginary beard, "and they're expensive. Now off with ya!"

And with that, Juliet was thrown overboard. She landed roughly in the ocean, and there was immediately a strange high-pitched squeak from below her. The boat tilted at a dangerous angle, and whatever was below her thrashed again, flipping the dingy wooden vessel over and into the water.