Disclaimer:I don't own White Collar (Neal Caffrey is so hot) or Vampire Diaries or anything really
This story is basically the result of endless hours of Dora the explorer (courtesy my little brother...he's 3 ^.^)
And yes i happen to hate Edward...but only because i love Damon so much more...no wait that's not it-I hate him cuz he's a faggola
Two men stand facing each other in front of a large wooden closet, one well-dressed in a chalk-striped suit and a black fedora, and the other well…er-dressed.
Neal: *looks at Damon* your clothes… they're so…
Damon: What?
Neal: (since he's such a gentleman) er-nothing let's take a look at some of your other clothes *opens Damon's closet*
It's full of identical black shirts, oh and a dead body
Neal: *twitches*
Damon: If you have something to say, spit it out.
Neal: Do you wear the same thing every single day?
Damon: *squinty constipated face* Yeah so?
Neal: It's abnormal…only mister Bean does that.
Damon: Says you Bluey.
Neal: Are you talking about him *Points to Jake Sully who's crouching in a corner*
Damon: eugh, what's that disgusting blue thing!
Jake Sully: I'm a Navi!
Damon: Whatever your nose looks like a dildo.
Jake Sully: Oh yeah well you're a moppy, emo blob.
Neal: *smiles his 'I'm suave, sexy and hot' smile* Gentlemen, let's try and get along shall we.
They stop fighting.
Damon: *confused* how the hell did you do that?
Neal: *smiles his 'I'm hot, sexy and dress like I just got off the sets of a Bond movie' smile*
Damon: No stop! I'm meahlting! I'm melting!
The door crashes open
Damon: Who the hell are you? *squinty constipated face*
L: I'm L, the world's greatest detective.
Damon: Are those your pajamas?
L: *ignores Damon* and I'm going to rid the world of evil.
Damon: *snorts* Yeah you do that
L:*still ignoring Damon* But right now… I'm on an important super secret mission-
Damon: Are you ignoring my snide remarks?
L: *ignores Damon's snide remark about him ignoring his snide remarks* which requires me, L,the world's greatest detective-
Damon: Nobody ignores Damon Salvatore!
L: *continues ignoring him* to find sugar cubes! *ends dramatically…well as dramatic as L can get*
Damon: Ima rip your heart out you creepy little cartoon guy *Rips L's heart out*
Neal: *stands around looking hot*
The door crashes open.
Damon: If it's another cartoon I'm going to kill it.
Jack Sparrow: *walks in randomly swinging his arms around* Seeing as there's two of us, a gentleman would give us a pair of pistols.
Damon: Well I'm not a gentleman, I'm a vampire *Hisses*
Edward: ohhh ima vampire too (in this slutty girl voice)
Damon: Pfft you wish
Edward: omg! I can-like- read people's minds, ahahaha
Jack Sparrow: I got a jar of dirt! I got a jar of dirt! And guess what's inside it!
L: Dirt?
Damon: How the hell are you still alive?
L: I'm L-world's greatest detective.
Damon: *rips L's heart out*
Neal: *to the others* Excuse my poorly dressed colleague, he has anger management problems.
Damon: No I don't…I just like killing people. I also like falling in love with my brother's girlfriends. Who by the way look exactly alike!
Edward:*to Damon* Why? Why would you do such a thing?
Jack Sparrow: *staggers around randomly* Why would he do that? Because he's a great big fish stick, isn't he? Well we shall have a magnificent garden party and not invite him!
Damon: oh no, I'm devastated (sarcastically)
L: And I'm L-world's greatest detective! Its good to meet you Devastated.
Damon: GAH! How many freaking times do I have to kill you!
A monkey in red boots and little girl with a purple backpack enter.
Little Girl: And I'm Dora- the explorer!
Boot-wearing Monkey: And I'm Boots-the…
L: monkey wearing boots?
Boots: *scratches butt*
Dora: Vamnos amigos! Vamnos!
Damon: *growls*I hate cartoons
Dora: backpack, backpack
L: why are you singing to your backpack?
Dora: where are we going?
Boots: To the blue tree!
Dora:Where are we going?
Boots: To the blue tree!
L: Sheesh girl do you have amnesia or something?
Damon: *to L* and I thought you were annoying.
Neal: We really have to kill it.
Damon: I thought you'd never ask.
L: Important Super Secret Meeting!
L, Damon, JS and Neil assemble in the corner and have a secret meeting while Dora and her monkey continue singing their gay-ass song.
Jake Sully: Hey! This is my corner!
Damon: Go find another one, you over-sized dildo.
Jake Sully:*walks away*
Neal: Why are we doing this? (Referring to the meeting)
L: We must first make elaborate plans to acquire evidence and then we will persecute them. And then we will rid the world of evil!
Everyone: *gives L the look*
Damon: Whatever. I'm gonna take 'em both on!*cracks his knuckles*
Jack Sparrow: No wait, leave the monkey to me.
Damon: (whines) awww! but I have to look macho and manly.
Edward: I want to help too!
Damon: who invited you? *grumbles* Stupid vampire wanna-be…stealing my fangirls.*to Edward* Besides what are you gonna do-sparkle them to death?
(A Gun Shot)
Everyone: *looks at Dora's dead body, and then at Neal, and then at Dora, and then at Neal, and then at L who's picking his nose*
L: Whaat? I had a really big booger.
Damon: Wow, Neal I never expected this from you.
Neil: *shrugs*
Jack Sparrow: You are all invited to my magnificent garden party!
Yeah I decided to let Boots live because if you think about it, Dora probably just bribed him with bananas. Well review!