This story has been slightly modernized; meaning the host club shenanigans are set in 2015-16 with a little bit of a twist.
Side Note: I do not own Ouran.
"Rich girls, they're impossible to just get around most days- especially near the doors of Music Room 3. The lair of the infamous Host Club. Please, all benefits point to not allowing me to start on the subject, for the sake of my own sanity, I won't start to talk about how much I truly despise them and their cursed good looks.
Especially after everything that happened to me.
And then, I got accustomed to it."
As per usual, the ladies all excitedly squirmed in front of Music Room 3's grand double doors waiting to be greeted by the hosts as soon as said doors opened. All, aside from one girl who pushed through the—what seemed to be never ending—crowd in hopes of getting to the other side. Just as the doors opened, the singled out girl stood waiting for impact from a fellow student as there was a zero percent chance of her escaping the crowd in time.
They all clambered in, each and every one of them that she stood in the wake of; stood on her feet. When the rumbling footsteps stopped, there was rose petals all over the floor- talk about messy!
Just as the doors were going to be shut, Tamaki, the clubs king, noticed the lone girl. His initial reaction is to interact, make her swoon and get another customer.
"Hello, kitten." He said in his soft princely voice. "Are you coming to join us today, my lovely?"
The girl hunched her shoulders and replied with a severe: "No. I was just trying to get past that uncoordinated rabble before they trampled me like the herd of elephants that they are."
"Would you like me—" Tamaki edged closer to the, now, nervous girl. "—to heal your wounds. Please princess," He caressed under her chin with his left index finger while holding her close. "Step inside, I'm sure the hosts would like to meet you."
"No…" She replied bluntly, while pushing Tamaki's face away with her hand. "Wait... Did you just call me… princess?" The girl lead Tamaki into a self-sense of security as she smiled while pretending to swoon.
"I'd never call you anything other than what you are to me, princess." Tamaki got close again.
"You know, I'd really like to-urm-say something…" She pretended to become shy.
"Anything that you have to say, I'll listen, princess." The princely type host was now caressing the side of her face.
'Gag me with a spoon.' The girl in Tamaki's arms thought to herself. 'Here goes… Let's go ahead and weaken the supposedly "princely type" in three-two-'
"YOU'RE A PHONEY!" She yelled at the top of her lungs, pushing the Host Club King away from her.
"A-a-a-a phoney?!" Tamaki asked holding his face in horror.
"We've heard this one before." The Hitachiin twins started. "The first time it was ever said was when-"
"Wahahahahahahaha!" The Lady manager laughed as the generator boomed from below.
'I've heard that laugh many times before…' The girl thought. "Oh, Jeez."
She peered from around the door way to confirm her suspicions. "Just as I thought… That insufferable lunatic… The one I have to call my cousin." The girl accidentally thought out loud.
"Emi-chan! It's been a while! How are you?!" Renge asked from the top of her lungs after sipping on her tea.
"Renge, I told you to call me by my full name. Don't you know how impolite it is not the accept peoples wishes of the used named for them."
"Oh, I'm sorry Emiko. I didn't realise… Anywho, how are you?" Renge asked.
"I'm fine… now I'm just gonna be leaving. I have some-urr-business to attend to." Emiko said pointing behind her at the exit over her shoulder with her thumb.
"Wait, you know Renge?" Hikaru asked.
"Yeah, unfortunately she's my cousin. Why the hell did she just come up from the floor tiles just now?" Emi asked.
"No, idea." Kaoru responded. All of a sudden, the sound of a locking door can be heard. 'Oh no. I've been kidnapped… by the Host Club.'
"HEY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING! LET ME OUT! I DON'T WANNA BE IN HERE AS MUCH AS ANY OF THE GUYS DO! LET ME GO!" Emi yelled trying to pry the doors open.
"You do realise," Kyoya informed. "That the Host Club is to lock the door." Emi couldn't tell if it was a lie or not.
"PLEASE! I AM BEGGING YOU TO LET ME OUT!" Emi got on her knees.
"I'm afraid no-can-do." Kyoya replied. "Let's not fuss around." He pushed his glassed up to properly sit on the bridge of his nose. "In any case let's get you seated and talk."
That was the twins' cue to grab Emi by the arms and lift her to the loveseat. She didn't fail to kick and scream, shouting about how badly she wanted to leave.
…
Eventually, Tamaki rid Emi of her untalkativeness, although she was still pretty blunt and stubborn about the way she spoke. "So, Miss Houshakuji, why the dark uniform alternative?"
"That's simple, my father bribed Head Master Suoh."
"You mean my dad was bribed?!" Tamaki was completely shocked.
"My parents have enough power to shut down every school in Japan, if you were to treat them badly. They are the head of the entire countries inspectors, after all." She picked up her coffee and before drinking it she abruptly asked: "This isn't poisoned is it? You'd want to be careful, all of you."
"No, Miss, it's just commoners' coffee." Kaoru replied.
"You weren't supposed to say anything! What did I tell you, Kaoru?!" Tamaki violently whispered while shaking the Hitachiin's shoulders in the same manner. Unfortunately for them, Emi heard every single word. The blonde female pulled a little black book out of her bag, along with a pen, and began writing with it.
'Oh, god. We've got another Kyoya on our hands.' Haruhi thought whilst sulking. Emi wrote the following, as seen by Hikaru who looked over the girls shoulder: 'Host Club- Appalling behaviour- No respect for each other. Or me, shouting/whispering about me and pretending that I can't hear. Overly rude.'
Hikaru's glance met eyes with Mori and he split up the pair who were scraping.
"Tamaki," The deeper voiced twin whispered while creeping over. "The book, is a report book. She's a spy!"
"Hikaru," Emi began. "I'm not a spy, just taking notes, you idiot." The clubs king sighed with relief and cruised over to behind Emi's stationed couch.
"Princess, would you be interested in a dance with me?" He asked. Emi was up to boiling point—with Tamaki calling her 'Princess' and pretending she was like all the other girls in the 3rd Music Room—as the level on the Emiko-Is-Annoyed-Scale was on eyebrow quivering-with-anger point.
She reached into her designer satchel and pulled out a compact. Said compact's mirror was loose, and to Haruhi's horror, it was also very sharp.
Emiko turned around on the loveseat and aimed for Tamaki's far away head. (He was spinning and pretending to dance before she pulled the mirror out.) Pulling back her arm, the twins' eyes widened in disbelief. The mirror leaped into air after she summoned enough force to get it right.
"BOSS, INCOMING!" They called out in sync. Tamaki saw the shard flying towards him and ducked while his face was completely horrified that one of the ladies tried to attack him. Emi was surprised that he moved that quickly.
"Oh, the shard's heading straight… to the chandiliers top chains!" She thought out loud for the second time that day. Emi rose to attention, "Shit!" she muttered before leaping over the back of the love seat.
"Girls, Morinozuka and Haninozuka: Watch out! Move!" Emi bellowed before running a little faster. Mori and Honey moved two of the girls out of the way and just before the chandelier got too far down, Emiko pushed the third and fourth innocent girls away after jumping on the table right underneath the chandelier. The diamond, gold and glass light fixture fell directly on top of Miss Houshakuji as it smashed all over the place.
"EMIKO!" The previously harassing hosts called.
Hikaru, Honey, Kyoya and, even, Renge did their best to calm all of the ladies and keep them on one side of the room (Even though Honey was crying). The other 4 hosts tried to dig through the chandeliers rubble. Just as quickly at the chandelier came down, Emiko rose from under the broken gold chains with a little bit of ease.
"Miss, are you alright?" Haruhi asked. "Your bleeding, we need to get you to the school nurse."
"Fujioka, I'm alright." She sighed and moved like she was completely unhurt. "I'll get this cleaned up, try to calm the ladies, as you like to call them, down. I have no excuse to be that clumsy."
"But, Miss," Kaoru began. "Your cut and bleeding all over the place."
"And I should care because?" Emi became blunt again while pulling at her pony tail to keep it in a good and firm position. "Look, I'm fine and I'm going to clean up. That's the end of it." Even though her dress was drenched with blood and torn to bits, Emiko treated it like it was a simple cat scratch. It hurt like a bitch but she didn't mind.
The sweeping brush that she'd picked up from the corner was now being guided along the floor by the blonde haired and blue eyed girl.
"Emiko, you alright? You look a little damaged there." Renge sounded getting into her cousins eye line (which was pointed to the floor).
"I'm fine Houshakuji, now let me finish up."
"You can't go blocking out everyone who annoys you or you, at first, don't like. Emi-chan."
"I know, but let me stubborn and try." She replied getting the last of the mess into the bin. The whispers from the other girls around the room were unsettling as she listened while leaning her hands and chin on the end of the broom. After placing the broom back in the corner, the blonde grabbed her satchel.
"Emiko Houshakuji, your 16 years old, are the only child and daughter to Mr Satoshi Houshakuji and Mrs Naomi Houshakuji." Kyoya insisted on telling Emiko about her own personal life. 'How in the…? I know he's an Ootori but, good god.' "Your father is the Owner of all offices for standards in education, children's services and skills. While your mother is a business women who owns a lot of top-branded cosmetics and cosmetic equipment stores in Japan. Born on June 20th, which is supposedly the happiest day of the year. Also your blood type is AB."
"AB!" All the hosts are alerted aside from Honey-senpai who is happily eating a slice of cake.
"You know what that means—" Hikaru began.
"—She's a low blood pressure demon!—" Kaoru continued.
"—Help us all!" They say in sync. Emi just glanced over to them in disrespect.
"And you have to do either 1 or another thing: 1 is to pay us back for the chandelier or 2, work for the Host Club." Kyoya turned around to face Emi.
'Dad'll get so mad if I ask for more money this week, and if I ask mom I'll have to explain why I don't wanna ask Dad which'll start another big row. Kill me… Grandma can you see, from above, what my clumsiness has dragged me into this time? Make the right choice, Emi—'
"Earth to Emiko! Make up your mi-ind." The twins said in sync again.
"Huh? Oh, alright I'll work for your stupid club." She sighed as blood dripped from her cheek."A little hard work never hurt anyone."
*~*~*~*~* Author's Note *~*~*~*~*
Me: And so we start this epic adventure.
Emiko: Umm, were in high school, not the world of Sword Art Online.
Me: Shut up, otaku.
Kyoya: Now-now, girls. Back to your corners.
Me: Ootori, I am the god of this world, so shut up too.
Mori: Yeah...
Kaoru: Hey author,
Me: What? O_o
Hikaru: Remember to have fun when writing this, okay?
Haruhi: ... Oh, no. Author don't listen to them, pl-
Please Review! How do I know what the people want if they don't tell me?
Also, if you have any ideas, feel free to PM me. If you do and I like it, I'll mention you!
See ya next end-of-chapter!