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A Night Well Spent
by: CLR
"The darkest night is often the bridge to the brightest tomorrow." ~ Jonathan Lockwood Huie
'C'mon sweetheart, where are you?' I thought to myself as I swept the room, searching for any little nook where a 4-year-old child might hide. The smoke had thickened to the point where I couldn't see more than a few inches in front of me. I hunkered closer to the floor in hopes of buying myself a little more time.
As I crawled past the end of the bed, I brushed against something and thought I heard a sound. I looked closely at what I had bumped into; it was a wicker laundry hamper. I half-stood and opened the lid, it was full of clothes. Praying to the spirits of my ancestors, I reached down and felt the clothes, they were firm. 'Thank you, I knew you had to be here somewhere. C'mon, let's get you out of here,' I thought as I gingerly reached down, disentangled her from the clothes and pulled her out. Out of the corner of my eye I saw something fall, instinctively I reached out and grabbed it. It was a stuffed puppy dog; I distractedly shoved it in the pocket of my turnout coat. Pulling my glove off I quickly checked her, there was a nice, strong pulse and her respirations were okay, a little shallow and rapid but under the circumstances, not unexpected. I pulled off my mask and pressed it firmly to her face. Juggling the child and mask with one hand, I used the other to unbutton my turnout. I snugged her up as close to my body as possible, offering as much protection as I could, before buttoning my coat back up and heading for the stairs.
By the time we reached the stairs, I was coughing continuously, but there was no way I was gonna use my mask. I heard the HT squawk and knew it would be Cap ordering me out, the heat was building rapidly. When I took the first step, my foot caught. I felt myself pitch forward and huddled my body around my precious little bundle. We tumbled and rolled the whole way down and by the time we stopped, I was lying on my air tank like a turtle caught upside down, unable to right itself. Struggling to rise, I felt strong hands grab under my arms and hoist me up. I looked into the face of my captain as he said, "You okay John?" I nodded my head briefly as I was too busy coughing to speak. Cap put a hand on my back, guiding me to the door. Even though I tried to walk normally, he noticed my limp. "C'mon Gage, hand me the child," he said as he tried to take her. I shook my head and tightened my arms as I choked out, "I'm okay Cap, I just twisted my ankle." He looked at me dubiously, but by then we were almost to the triage area.
Roy grabbed her out of my arms and started his assessment. I tried to help, but I couldn't stop coughing. Mike ran over with the spare oxygen and slipped a mask on me. I moved closer to help, but Roy said, "Just stay right there, Junior. Sit there and breathe and I'll be with you shortly," in a no nonsense voice. So I just sat there and waited, and coughed.
In the bright afternoon sun I got my first true look at my little angel. She had skin the color of fine porcelain. It was smudged with soot in places, but I was sure not nearly as badly as mine. I think the clothes that she had burrowed into had protected her in more ways than one. Her hair was the color of a fiery sunrise and twisted in ringlets down her back. It looked so soft that I wanted to touch it and twirl it around my fingers. She had the face of an angel with a little upturned nose and heart-shaped lips. I only wished she'd open her eyes.
Roy, having finished with the little girl, came over and started working on me. I tried to convince him that I was okay, but he just gave me a humorous smile and kept on working. I inadvertently winced as he ran his hands down my right foot. One brow rose as he questioned, "What did you to your foot?" I sighed, knowing the jig was up. "I must've twisted it when I fell down the stairs," I replied sullenly. Both brows rose this time, apparently Cap forgot to tell him about my tumble. He started firing questions at me as he wrestled me out of my turnout. Sometimes I'm my own worst enemy. I gasped as I twisted trying to keep my coat on. Roy instantly froze, "Where's it hurt Johnny?" he probed. "It's nothing. I'm just sore from falling on my air tank, Roy," I tried to assure him. He gave me a pointed look, "Take it off or cut it off, your choice," he said as he pointed at my shirt. I argued that he should just be able to lift the back of my shirt to check my back. I hated when my little gems were exposed to the public. Roy was having none of it, so he wrestled me out of my shirt and T-shirt. By the time he had me lying down, half-clothed; Mike had already received my treatment orders from Rampart. I was quickly and efficiently given an IV, 'No wonder people say he's the best paramedic. I didn't even feel that,' I thought.I felt an icy coolness travel up my arm and gave a startled look, "What was that?" I questioned. Roy gave me his best soothing paramedic look and said, "Brackett ordered MS." I nodded as I slowly felt myself drift away.
Things became hazy for quite a while, but I seem to remember Brackett saying he was keeping me overnight. Words like…smoke inhalation…and…bruised back…and…muscle relaxers…and…sprained ankle flitted though my mind. I lazily opened my eyes to find I was indeed a guest of Hotel Rampart. I sported an oxygen mask and a wrapped foot on a pillow courtesy of the concierge. 'Wow…that MS is really good stuff,' I thought contentedly. I lay there for I don't know how long watching the ceiling, it was really interesting to watch the play of light and shadow as the sun filtered through the trees outside the window.
Later, when I was feeling more like myself, a nurse came in carrying my dinner. She placed it on the tray table then came and took my vitals. Before she left, she told me Brackett would be up soon. With little enthusiasm, I dug into my food. I normally am a person who loves food, but somehow no matter what they served, Rampart's food always tasted like sawdust…and I didn't even want to think about the jello—it probably would still be glued to my intestinal track when I died. After finishing what I deemed was a sufficient amount that wouldn't raise any red flags, I pushed the tray away. I had just turned on the TV when in strode Brackett. He asked how I felt and I told him fine, I mean yeah I hurt, but when you tumble down the stairs I think you should expect to hurt. He shook his head then gave me a quick once over and said he would release me in the morning. He switched me to a nasal cannula, for which I was extremely grateful and had the nurse get some ice for my ankle. I asked him how the mother and little girl were. He told me the mother had moderate smoke inhalation, but would be okay in a few days and the little girl had a minor case of smoke inhalation. Child services would pick her up in the morning and place her in foster care until her mom could get on her feet. Inwardly I cringed at this news but I just gave Brackett a half-grin and made some lame comment. The nurse came in with the ice and a syringe. I asked if I really needed the muscles relaxer, which Brackett assured me I did. I once again felt the icy coolness and the slow drift into nothingness.
I had a few visitors during the evening, but most of the visits I only vaguely remembered. I know Roy stopped in at one point and told me he'd pick me up in the morning. Cap and the guys stopped in briefly on their way back from a dumpster fire. Chet needled me about getting hurt and not wanting to work, but the muscle relaxers wouldn't let me get worked up enough to care. Chet looked sorely disappointed when they left. The best part of the evening was when Joanne brought the kids to visit. They sat beside me on the bed and told me stories of their day. Joanne was kind enough to bring me my PJ's from their house so I could feel like a human being again and not like one of those cardboard dress up dolls that Jenny likes to play with, you know, the kind that the clothes just hang by a tab on the shoulder and are bare in the back. After they left, I went to the bathroom and put on my PJ's. The next time the nurse came to check on me I was pleasantly surprised to have the IV pulled and switched to oral meds. Brackett must've switched the muscle relaxer, I didn't feel like I was floating as much, but I was still sleepy.
As I settled down to get some shut eye, I put my arm over my eyes—the way I usually slept and realized that the first time I had ever slept like that was as a patient in a hospital.
When I was 7, my parents and I were in a car accident. I woke up bruised and hurting and all alone in a brightly lit room. I was too afraid to get out of bed to find someone, so I just lay there waiting for my parents to come for me. After a while I got sleepy and decided I wanted to take a nap. I looked around but couldn't find the light switch, so I just put my right arm over my eyes and fell asleep—I've slept that way ever since. The next time I woke up, I was still bruised and hurting but I wasn't alone. A fireman in full turnout gear was sitting beside the bed. I didn't have any idea who he was or why he was there, but I was grateful that someone was. I asked him if he could take me to my parents and he just picked me up in his big strong arms and held me for the longest time. I didn't find out until later that my parents were dead and the fireman was one of the ones who helped rescue me. Looking back now I realized that that fireman and his actions were the reason I chose this profession that I love. I find it funny that the darkest night is often the bridge to the brightest tomorrow. Life certainly has a sense of irony.
As I lay there, my mind kept wandering back to my little angel up in pediatrics. While her situation was not exactly like mine, I certainly felt for her. I remember how lost and scared I felt when I woke up in that hospital room and I was even older than her. The longer I thought about it, the more I knew I had to do something for her. I couldn't leave her alone up in that room. With that decided, I moved into action. I pulled the nasal cannula off and placed it on the stand as I pealed myself out of the bed. My back and ankle protested, but I knew I had more important things to do. I quickly shoved my feet into slippers, grabbed the stuffed dog out of my coat and peaked out the door. I knew my nurse wouldn't check on me until morning, but I didn't want to get caught in the hall. Fortunately, the stairs were right across from my room, so I was able to scoot into the stairwell unobserved. The trek up the three flights of stairs to the floor where Pediatrics was located, took longer than I would have liked, but what could I do. As I quietly snuck into the hallway I realized I didn't know which room she was in. But providence was smiling on me tonight; she was in the first room I looked in. She looked so small as she slept soundly all curled up in that big bed. I pulled her chart and took a peak. Other than some minor smoke inhalation she was fine, but they had given her a sedative. I sat down in the rocking chair that was next to the bed and kept vigil. Every time the nurse came to check on her I high-tailed it into the bathroom to hide. I was never happier to have a nurse with squeaky shoes in my life. I tried not to fall asleep, but at some point I must've dozed off. I awoke with a start and looked at my angel and noticed her lashes fluttering. As she slowly opened her eyes, she turned her head toward me. Vibrant blue eyes gazed at me and shot straight as an arrow into my soul. I gave her a half-grin unsure what to do next. She looked at me for a while then lifted her arms up to me. I scooped her up and sat back down in the rocking chair. I pulled the stuffed dog from beside me and handed it to her as her face lit up. As she burrowed into me I started rocking and hummed a lullaby I remembered from my childhood. I felt her relax as she fell asleep, and I soon followed.
I awoke in the morning to the feeling of someone tugging her out of my arms. I opened my eyes to see Dixie gently scooping her up. Brackett was behind her, his arms crossed and his mouth twitching, and beside him was my partner, one brow quirked. I knew I was in trouble. I gave a half-grin and started to stand up. The problem being my muscles had locked up. I tried to suppress a groan as I forced myself upright. Roy and Brackett relented and moved to assist me. The whole way back to my room they scolded me for my 'careless and rash actions'. I nodded my head and looked properly chastened, but deep down I knew I wouldn't have changed what I did one bit.
The end