This is my first Eva fic, so please don't assassinate me if it's that
bad. This fic is an alternate version of episode 20 and my version of 21,
so expect all the spoilers that happened in this episode and before it.
I'll try of keeping the characters' natural characters but they will
probably evolve. Enjoy!
P.S. Speech is " ", thoughts are ' '.
P.S.2 This is general because it's probably going to contain a bit of
everything, action, adventure, angst, romance. Mark my words.
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Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters they are all Gainax's propriety. If I did Evangelion would've been very different.
As the 14th angel, Zeruel, attacks Tokyo-3 and practically kills the whole NERV crew, Shinji faces his fears and grudges, and pilots Eva-01 again...with devastating results as Eva Unit 1 breaks free and shows its horrifying angel-like form. Even though this unstoppable beast has stopped Zeruel and saved the whole of NERV, the badly hurt Asuka and Rei and the whole of mankind, its pilot's dissolved body and soul are stuck inside the cockpit full of LCL. As NERV try to bring back Shinji and as Shinji faces his past, his questions and his thoughts in the images and darkness of his mind. The results will be known in the next chapter BOY AND THE BEAST.
Chapter 1: REBIRTH
Shinji's mind was just bulging with his questions and thoughts, even though his soul was about two metres away. Having been already in a strange train coach, which seemed to move his life as well as itself, with Ayanami Rei, or at least her image, he was now back there, in the middle of death and rebirth. "So this is the end," with these words, flashed a horizontal line through the darkness, signifying the presence of a five-year-old boy – Shinji.
"Am I...dead?" Shinji's vertical line shot through the darkness as well.
"That is how you define death," the horizontal line. "You don't have an assembled body and no soul with it, but you still have a body and it's contents disassembled and a mind that still thinks."
"So...I'm alive," Shinji said after taking in all the previous words . "You have a choice."
NERV HQ (2):
"Shinji exists in the cockpit, with his body dissolved in the LCL and his soul still in the cockpit," Dr Ritsuko Akagi explained it to Major Misato Katsuragi.
"So is it possible to bring him back?" inquired Major Katsuragi.
"Since all of Shinji, and his soul, is still close together and actually exists, we can 'salvage' Shinji, meaning we can reassemble Shinji's body and stick his soul back to it," Ritsuko explained. "But it's a risky operation, that can cost us Shinji's life."
"And the Commander wouldn't want that happening, would he," said quite a grim Misato.
"Yes, Shinji has become indispensable to NERV."
"So you mean this was tried already," Misato asked with an expression of mild fear in her eyes, after a large pause.
"Yes...and it failed," Ritsuko said with a discouraged voice. "But still the success rate isn't 0 or a negative." 'But it's still Shinji's choice to live'
Shinji's mind:
"If I die... I won't be able to hurt anyone (FLASHBACK: Eva Unit 1 crushing the entry plug of Toji Suzuhara) and... no body can hurt me (FLASHBACK: "We don't need a pilot with that kind of attitude – Misato; (SMACK) Sorry I had to clobber you newcomer, because of your robot my sister got badly injured – Touji; Is your mommy looking at you from Heaven – Asuka.")" Shinji's vertical line appeared.
"So you shall take the spineless cowardly way out," the horizontal line came back as well. " An option you used throughout your whole life, even though now you tried to contradict yourself, come out of your shell – Change (the word seemed to echo in Shinji's mind). You thought you mustn't run awaywaywaywaywayway."
"YES!" shouted Shinji in his mind with anger, clutching his head. "I tried but...I'm tired of it...all I can do is make people suffer, like Toji's sister...and anyways people only respect me just because I pilot the Evangelion."
"That statement is only true in your mind Shinji Ikari," responded the horizontal line. "One individual thinks of you just as a friend, one individual doesn't respect you as an Evangelion pilot, one individual actually knows what suffering have to go through as an Evangelion pilot and doesn't want to be in your place, one individual actually knows your dreams, that individual being Toji Suzuhara himself. In fact your personality doesn't have the title 'Evangelion Pilot' in anyone's mind, to most people you are thought of as a friend...or more."
"What?" the vertical line shot out suddenly, as Shinji's voice filled with surprise. "Still why must I fight, why must I kill the enemies of mankind, why must I pilot the Eva, why must I face (and the person's image flashed through his mind) FATHER!"
NERV HQ (2):
"OK," Doctor Ritsuko Akagi started, "Is everything ready?"
"Yes Ma'am," shouted Shigeru, Maya and Makoto simultaneously.
"Then start the operation."
"OK," Makoto began in a serious mood realising how important this procedure will be, "Sending first signal."
"First signal received," Shigeru answered with the same attitude.
Back in Shinji's mind:
"You still cannot identify your enemies and your friends, while you're already trying to understand other things and people. You try to stop pain and suffering, when it's partially your fault. You want to change, when you don't want to," the young faceless boy was practically shooting questions at Shinji, "You still can't even understand your own actions and goals..."
"Yes, I do!" Shinji tried to contradict his alter ego, with a little doubt in his voice.
"Then state them," countered a very calm voice.
" Well..." Shinji concentrated, trying to think of a way to put his words correctly. "I... I must... pilot the Evangelion...and...defeat the ones they call enemy."
"Thus you try to gain respect by continuing the battle. But do you get your recognition?"
Doubt was overwhelming Shinji, he remembered again the words of people telling him to work hard. "I once did," replied a desperate Shinji remembering the great moment when the commander finally congratulated him.
"So you will continue reabsorbing and regurgitating that moment of happiness and continue your fight with no additional credit," Shinji was practically laughing at the poor boy.
"Why don't they like me," Shinji whispered, "Why don't I get a reward...why don't I get respect...WHY DO I DO THIS!!"
NERV HQ (2):
Suddenly panic overwhelmed the small group of scientists, "The Destrudo is not responding," Maya shouted, "The Ego-Border is stuck in a loop."
"Make the particles move in from all directions," Ritsuko tried to take control of the operation.
"It still won't respond," Maya brought in the doomsday news.
"What does that mean," Misato tried to fool herself into thinking there's still hope.
"It means we failed."
Shinji's mind:
"You seem to ignore the results of your actions..."
"Why doesn't anybody like me," Shinji whispered, totally ignoring his faceless companion, "Why doesn't anybody help me?"
"I do."
Images flashed through Shinji's mind finally ending up back in the train coach, but his companion was different. He... no this time it was a she. She was a woman of about 25, no face and darkened hair, but she was familiar...no...not just familiar...but...family. Yes it was no other then Yue Ikari, the deceased mother of Shinji Ikari.
"Your suffering is great..." her voice had a tingle to it, "to great for somebody your age..." something unusual, "but you must identify your goals..." something inhuman, "and realise your friends..." something, "and let your friends realise you." something, "I can help you."
That caught Shinji off guard even though his face didn't show it, all he could manage to say was, "Really?"
"If you can make a small sacrifice, I can make your goal easier." Yue made an offer he couldn't refuse.
Shinji was excited, he really wanted help, especially from his mother, "Very well, I agree," he showed no signs of excitement. But he realised something, "But what is my goal." But Yue gave no response, but instead her eyes turned into white stripes. Something, something... Yue burst to reveal Eva Unit 1. Something, something...mechanical. The Evangelion let out a roar and threw his arms at Shinji, wrapping him fully, throwing him into a dark abyss.
NERV HQ (2):
"All orders are being refused," Maya shouted, "The plug won't respond."
Shinji...don't you want to come back. Ritsuko desperately tried to realise.
Shinji's mind:
"What are my goals?" Shinji still questioned himself while in the darkness. "What do I want?" The same question was asked by an unusual Misato, Asuka, Rei and another mysterious person. The question plagued Shinji's mind until...
NERV HQ (2):
"The entry plug is ejecting itself," Maya signed Shinji's death sentence.
"What!?" Ritsuko couldn't believe it.
Misato rushed to the seen of the crime, just in time to witness how the entry plug opened and all its contents flowed out into separate directions, finally with the blue entry plug suit trailing behind.
Shinji's mind:
Shinji seemed to be back to face a familiar ceiling, or so he thought. He couldn't see, hear or taste. But he could smell somebody. A smell...a woman smell...Rei, Asuka...no...Misato...no...Mother..."
NERV HQ (2):
Misato was weeping on the floor holding the blue plug suit, "Give me back my Shinji (sob, sob). What good is science if it can't save one life (sob, sob)? Give me back my Shinji!" A sound of something being thrown out distracted Misato. As she turned she could see the body of a fourteen-year- old boy lying on the ground. Misato was so happy that she was speechless, "Shin..."
"Huh," Shinji finally opened his eyes. He faced a very familiar ceiling...again...though he didn't realise it...he didn't remember any part of his REBIRTH.
Omake:
"Give me back my Shinji (sob, sob). What good is science if it can't save one life (sob, sob)? Give me back my Shinji!" Misato was crying her eyes out, until...
"He's right behind you."
Misato, surprised, turned around, to get extremely angry, "Kaji! How dare you joke at a time like this! Don't you see how sad this situation is! Are you insane! Do you have any decency left..." Nine months later Shinji was re- born. He did have to wait quite a while, but he liked his new parents a lot more.
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There, the first chapter down. Don't forget it's only the beginning, and this was a talk chapter, thus it was impossible for me to do many actions. Thanks for Lord Mick and Worldslayer for being my pre-readers, they are what makes these chapters good. Anyways, I'll try to get the next chapter done as quickly as possible, but I am working on two things at once. Next time see what happens to everyone else when Shinji is in the Eva – After the Battle.
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Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters they are all Gainax's propriety. If I did Evangelion would've been very different.
As the 14th angel, Zeruel, attacks Tokyo-3 and practically kills the whole NERV crew, Shinji faces his fears and grudges, and pilots Eva-01 again...with devastating results as Eva Unit 1 breaks free and shows its horrifying angel-like form. Even though this unstoppable beast has stopped Zeruel and saved the whole of NERV, the badly hurt Asuka and Rei and the whole of mankind, its pilot's dissolved body and soul are stuck inside the cockpit full of LCL. As NERV try to bring back Shinji and as Shinji faces his past, his questions and his thoughts in the images and darkness of his mind. The results will be known in the next chapter BOY AND THE BEAST.
Chapter 1: REBIRTH
Shinji's mind was just bulging with his questions and thoughts, even though his soul was about two metres away. Having been already in a strange train coach, which seemed to move his life as well as itself, with Ayanami Rei, or at least her image, he was now back there, in the middle of death and rebirth. "So this is the end," with these words, flashed a horizontal line through the darkness, signifying the presence of a five-year-old boy – Shinji.
"Am I...dead?" Shinji's vertical line shot through the darkness as well.
"That is how you define death," the horizontal line. "You don't have an assembled body and no soul with it, but you still have a body and it's contents disassembled and a mind that still thinks."
"So...I'm alive," Shinji said after taking in all the previous words . "You have a choice."
NERV HQ (2):
"Shinji exists in the cockpit, with his body dissolved in the LCL and his soul still in the cockpit," Dr Ritsuko Akagi explained it to Major Misato Katsuragi.
"So is it possible to bring him back?" inquired Major Katsuragi.
"Since all of Shinji, and his soul, is still close together and actually exists, we can 'salvage' Shinji, meaning we can reassemble Shinji's body and stick his soul back to it," Ritsuko explained. "But it's a risky operation, that can cost us Shinji's life."
"And the Commander wouldn't want that happening, would he," said quite a grim Misato.
"Yes, Shinji has become indispensable to NERV."
"So you mean this was tried already," Misato asked with an expression of mild fear in her eyes, after a large pause.
"Yes...and it failed," Ritsuko said with a discouraged voice. "But still the success rate isn't 0 or a negative." 'But it's still Shinji's choice to live'
Shinji's mind:
"If I die... I won't be able to hurt anyone (FLASHBACK: Eva Unit 1 crushing the entry plug of Toji Suzuhara) and... no body can hurt me (FLASHBACK: "We don't need a pilot with that kind of attitude – Misato; (SMACK) Sorry I had to clobber you newcomer, because of your robot my sister got badly injured – Touji; Is your mommy looking at you from Heaven – Asuka.")" Shinji's vertical line appeared.
"So you shall take the spineless cowardly way out," the horizontal line came back as well. " An option you used throughout your whole life, even though now you tried to contradict yourself, come out of your shell – Change (the word seemed to echo in Shinji's mind). You thought you mustn't run awaywaywaywaywayway."
"YES!" shouted Shinji in his mind with anger, clutching his head. "I tried but...I'm tired of it...all I can do is make people suffer, like Toji's sister...and anyways people only respect me just because I pilot the Evangelion."
"That statement is only true in your mind Shinji Ikari," responded the horizontal line. "One individual thinks of you just as a friend, one individual doesn't respect you as an Evangelion pilot, one individual actually knows what suffering have to go through as an Evangelion pilot and doesn't want to be in your place, one individual actually knows your dreams, that individual being Toji Suzuhara himself. In fact your personality doesn't have the title 'Evangelion Pilot' in anyone's mind, to most people you are thought of as a friend...or more."
"What?" the vertical line shot out suddenly, as Shinji's voice filled with surprise. "Still why must I fight, why must I kill the enemies of mankind, why must I pilot the Eva, why must I face (and the person's image flashed through his mind) FATHER!"
NERV HQ (2):
"OK," Doctor Ritsuko Akagi started, "Is everything ready?"
"Yes Ma'am," shouted Shigeru, Maya and Makoto simultaneously.
"Then start the operation."
"OK," Makoto began in a serious mood realising how important this procedure will be, "Sending first signal."
"First signal received," Shigeru answered with the same attitude.
Back in Shinji's mind:
"You still cannot identify your enemies and your friends, while you're already trying to understand other things and people. You try to stop pain and suffering, when it's partially your fault. You want to change, when you don't want to," the young faceless boy was practically shooting questions at Shinji, "You still can't even understand your own actions and goals..."
"Yes, I do!" Shinji tried to contradict his alter ego, with a little doubt in his voice.
"Then state them," countered a very calm voice.
" Well..." Shinji concentrated, trying to think of a way to put his words correctly. "I... I must... pilot the Evangelion...and...defeat the ones they call enemy."
"Thus you try to gain respect by continuing the battle. But do you get your recognition?"
Doubt was overwhelming Shinji, he remembered again the words of people telling him to work hard. "I once did," replied a desperate Shinji remembering the great moment when the commander finally congratulated him.
"So you will continue reabsorbing and regurgitating that moment of happiness and continue your fight with no additional credit," Shinji was practically laughing at the poor boy.
"Why don't they like me," Shinji whispered, "Why don't I get a reward...why don't I get respect...WHY DO I DO THIS!!"
NERV HQ (2):
Suddenly panic overwhelmed the small group of scientists, "The Destrudo is not responding," Maya shouted, "The Ego-Border is stuck in a loop."
"Make the particles move in from all directions," Ritsuko tried to take control of the operation.
"It still won't respond," Maya brought in the doomsday news.
"What does that mean," Misato tried to fool herself into thinking there's still hope.
"It means we failed."
Shinji's mind:
"You seem to ignore the results of your actions..."
"Why doesn't anybody like me," Shinji whispered, totally ignoring his faceless companion, "Why doesn't anybody help me?"
"I do."
Images flashed through Shinji's mind finally ending up back in the train coach, but his companion was different. He... no this time it was a she. She was a woman of about 25, no face and darkened hair, but she was familiar...no...not just familiar...but...family. Yes it was no other then Yue Ikari, the deceased mother of Shinji Ikari.
"Your suffering is great..." her voice had a tingle to it, "to great for somebody your age..." something unusual, "but you must identify your goals..." something inhuman, "and realise your friends..." something, "and let your friends realise you." something, "I can help you."
That caught Shinji off guard even though his face didn't show it, all he could manage to say was, "Really?"
"If you can make a small sacrifice, I can make your goal easier." Yue made an offer he couldn't refuse.
Shinji was excited, he really wanted help, especially from his mother, "Very well, I agree," he showed no signs of excitement. But he realised something, "But what is my goal." But Yue gave no response, but instead her eyes turned into white stripes. Something, something... Yue burst to reveal Eva Unit 1. Something, something...mechanical. The Evangelion let out a roar and threw his arms at Shinji, wrapping him fully, throwing him into a dark abyss.
NERV HQ (2):
"All orders are being refused," Maya shouted, "The plug won't respond."
Shinji...don't you want to come back. Ritsuko desperately tried to realise.
Shinji's mind:
"What are my goals?" Shinji still questioned himself while in the darkness. "What do I want?" The same question was asked by an unusual Misato, Asuka, Rei and another mysterious person. The question plagued Shinji's mind until...
NERV HQ (2):
"The entry plug is ejecting itself," Maya signed Shinji's death sentence.
"What!?" Ritsuko couldn't believe it.
Misato rushed to the seen of the crime, just in time to witness how the entry plug opened and all its contents flowed out into separate directions, finally with the blue entry plug suit trailing behind.
Shinji's mind:
Shinji seemed to be back to face a familiar ceiling, or so he thought. He couldn't see, hear or taste. But he could smell somebody. A smell...a woman smell...Rei, Asuka...no...Misato...no...Mother..."
NERV HQ (2):
Misato was weeping on the floor holding the blue plug suit, "Give me back my Shinji (sob, sob). What good is science if it can't save one life (sob, sob)? Give me back my Shinji!" A sound of something being thrown out distracted Misato. As she turned she could see the body of a fourteen-year- old boy lying on the ground. Misato was so happy that she was speechless, "Shin..."
"Huh," Shinji finally opened his eyes. He faced a very familiar ceiling...again...though he didn't realise it...he didn't remember any part of his REBIRTH.
Omake:
"Give me back my Shinji (sob, sob). What good is science if it can't save one life (sob, sob)? Give me back my Shinji!" Misato was crying her eyes out, until...
"He's right behind you."
Misato, surprised, turned around, to get extremely angry, "Kaji! How dare you joke at a time like this! Don't you see how sad this situation is! Are you insane! Do you have any decency left..." Nine months later Shinji was re- born. He did have to wait quite a while, but he liked his new parents a lot more.
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There, the first chapter down. Don't forget it's only the beginning, and this was a talk chapter, thus it was impossible for me to do many actions. Thanks for Lord Mick and Worldslayer for being my pre-readers, they are what makes these chapters good. Anyways, I'll try to get the next chapter done as quickly as possible, but I am working on two things at once. Next time see what happens to everyone else when Shinji is in the Eva – After the Battle.
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