Disclaimer: I own nothing, neither Criminal Minds or the song are mine!

A/N:There was one ickle, bickle bit of a song that was nagging me with inspiration so I ran with it and this was born!

Thank the awesome Wordofwyrd for making this a THREEshot! =)

Song: The Saturday's – Higher (Mini FYI: Not sure if they're big outside of the UK =P lol)

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Penelope's Decisions -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

So when I speak listen,
This is my decision,
And you keep on messing up the words oh, oh,
So when I speak listen

cause you keep on pushing like I need permission to be heard.

Penelope paced, not out of nerves, but out of sheer frustration. She'd had a near epiphany earlier that day, and it'd drawn her to this point.

"You need to shut up, Kevin, and allow me to speak because, God Forbid it, I will attach the biggest virus to your computer system if you don't let me finish!"

"Penelope, baby, you gotta let me argue my side." Kevin said nervously he stood to copy her pace, to get her to listen.

"No." Penelope said as she stopped, Kevin's hands immediately went to grab hers and she slapped them away. "I can't keep this..."

"Don't do this, Penelope." Kevin said fearful at how that sentence was going to finish. "Please, don't leave me."

Penelope looked at the desperation in his face and she felt her gut clench. He loved her so God damn much and it was clearly written all over his face and that was the hardest part. He really, truly loved her.

But Penelope didn't really, truly love him and that was the killer part for her.

She watched his eyes saddened and he stood before her like a little sad puppy and her heart palpitated. She looked down, away from his affecting glare and shook her head.

"I can't anymore Kevin. I'm sorry." She whispered to him painfully and Kevin grabbed her hands. "I don't want..."

"Yes you do, it's just a mad moment Penny. You know it. It's the after case woes." He tried his hardest to get her to accept that this wasn't their ending.

Penelope knew it was after case woes, but she also knew that the last case had spoken more than just a similar victim-unsub situation. It was the back story. The lives she'd dug through, the lives she'd fallen in love for, the love story that had unravelled with the horror.

It made her realise that she didn't have a love story, or a potential one, with Kevin.

She didn't know, or want to acknowledge, who she saw that type of story with. At that present time there was no one that was going to be her grey haired love of her life in 50 years.

She'd read and read how the couples attacked had been married for years. Were still as in love with one another as they were the day they met. She'd read letters that the older couples had sent one another. The notes that the younger ones had sent in hours of needs.

Each couple were madly in love, yet one of the pair lived on the front line of a war and love letters were their heart line, was their life line to the other.

That was the tie between each new murder – love. And that was ultimately, what had hit Penelope the most. She didn't know a love this strong, she'd never experienced it and as she reflected, she wasn't going to do when she was stuck in a dead beat relationship with Kevin.

So she'd stood in his apartment for the last 4 hours, trying her hardest to get the perfectly formed words out of her mouth.

To break this off.

"I- I can't Kevin." She said as she finally looked him in the eyes.

Kevin's eyes watered. "I love you, Penelope. I'd give my life for you, I'd give anything for your happiness. I love you enough to do that."

Penelope's mouth opened to speak, but only air escaped.

"I'd pull you out of the way from an oncoming car, I'd replace you at work just to keep your sanity safe, and I'd give you my heart if you needed it. You name it, everything is yours."

"You're making this too hard." Penelope whispered at him as she felt despair and regret filtered in.

"I love you, Penelope!" He said as he grabbed her arms. "I'm in love with you! I want you to marry me! Have my children! Get old with me, because I love you too much to let you go!"

"I can't!" Penelope yelled at him, she was not about to let Kevin speak over her, he was going to listen. "To keep this going would be a lie, Kevin." He voice lowered a lot now. "I'm not the girl for you; I'm not going to keep you satisfied. I don't love you enough to be that."

Kevin's hands now dropped.

"I see." He told her sadly. "I guess that nothing I said will change your thoughts?"

"I'm sorry, Kevin, it's just..."

"I get it, you've moved on." Kevin said as he walked away from her.

"It's not you..."

Kevin cut her off again. "That little saying, its not you it's me, of course it is."

Penelope stepped forward. The need to comfort magnifying within her. "This case, it just, I don't know, it made me reassess what I want from life and Kevin, I can't keep you from getting a happy future because neither of us want to be alone at our age."

"I knew the job would eventually kill us, I just didn't expect it to be this soon." Kevin told her as he finally turned back to her.

"I didn't plan it. It just happened. I mean those couples were so in love with one another and the more I looked into it and the more I read those letter, the more I realised that we don't feel as strongly for one another as those do."

"Why are you judging out relationship on someone else's?" Kevin asked confused somewhat. "I mean, you don't do that."

"I'm not judging our relationship exactly. I'm judging my ability to love you and I don't love you that much, not as much as I should. I do love you, but it's never going to be enough."

"So it's not about another man?"

Penelope was grief stricken by that. "No way." She answered him taken back somewhat. "This is about me and you, Kevin. There's no one else involved. It's just us." She turned and went into the kitchen and got one of her overnight bags from the cupboard, she then went and packed her clothes up without another word.

Kevin rested against the back the couch, his eyes tracing her every elegant move. He watched the woman he loved with his entire heart pack the two years of their life together away. His heart felt incomplete now.

"If there's anything I've forgotten then bring it by, or post it. You can come and get your things from mine whenever you want them." Penelope said, a weird feeling eloping her. "I really am sorry." She said and put the bag down, before pulling him into a hug. "I do love you, Kevin."

"Just not enough." Kevin replied as he clung on for dear life, hoping that his desperation for her to stay would show.

"This is for the best. It'll save us a lot of heartbreak in the future."

"Doesn't feel like it." Kevin bit back and Penelope flinched at the pain she was inflicting, she knew she needed to get out and now.

"I didn't want to hurt you." She kissed his cheek and then gathered her things and left his apartment.

Kevin watched the door close before he broke and dropped to the floor.

Penelope heard his outburst, an anger filled sob rung out as the door clicked shut and emptiness filled her, she didn't feel free now, she felt like she'd murdered someone.

That was not her intention at all.

She got outside of the walls of the building and looked up at the partially cloudy sky and beckoned it for answers. It hailed none and she realised that only she could answer this heat of the moment break up. She needed to leave Kevin's block, she needed to get away because if she didn't she would more than likely run back and beg for forgiveness and let Kevin take her back.

She needed her mind to be settled and clear on what her life was going to do.

After all Penelope was now taking a plan of action. It was her life, she could do with it as she pleased and she was set out to answer to Penelope's decisions and no one else's.

She just needed to decide what other decisions were joining her after choosing to break up with the longest relationship she'd ever had.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Penelope's Decisions -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

A/N: Only two more chapters! A lot can happen! =)

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