simon
mhm
one day we're being retarded
but i forget to wear my viking helmet
i get pregnant
its really bad
King Explosion Murder
oh no
who's the father
simon
waluigi
King Explosion Murder
UM
NO
NOT TRUE
HE WOULD NEVER BE DISLOYAL
HES ON A BUSINESS TRIP!
simon
um
gurl im srry..
but is tru
luk
brings up big ultrasound monitor
fetus with huge pink nose appears
King Explosion Murder
...
no...
ur lyin...
thats...
that cant be it...
simon
its tru..
im srry u had 2 find out dis way..
King Explosion Murder
dat...
its clrly olimar!
simon
ummm
no gurl
is triangulr
olimar wuld nevr hav unsaef senx
King Explosion Murder
um
yeet
he wuld
i remembr it...
it was 2001, we wer watchin shrek
it...
it was so fanst...
he got pregante
he gave birth 2 a disgustin creature...
...
it was a gruss shrek ogre bb
simon
...
gurl...
im so srry 2 hear dat...
but olimars cleaned up nao...
he has a gud job an he taeks caer of his ogre bb
King Explosion Murder
h-
how do u NO!?
HMMMMMM
simon
bcus gurl...
hes HERE!
funni spaceship comes down
olimar come out
he squints at you
King Explosion Murder
olimar
its
...
it rly is waluigi isn it
simon
olimar squint
mhm...
im srry gurl...
King Explosion Murder
...
i
i need 2 make a call
beepbeep
simon
..
King Explosion Murder
...
waluigi?
happy waas
i-
i'm glad to hear your trip is going well
um...
...
we need 2 talk bb...
concerned waas
I-I don't think we can do this anymore.
did you cheat on me with tom?
WAA
u cant deny it
ive seen the ultrasound
dey have ur nose
and its not olimar...
...
crying waa
im sry...
im sry b
ily so much
but u clrly dun lov me
gudby...
beep
cris
simon
...
;-;
gurl...
gurl its ok...
u'll find some1 else...
waluigi isn a real mans...
hes not evn in smash...
King Explosion Murder
. . .
i just
i cant do dis animoar
i cant do anyfin
ive lost evrythin
i h8 u
how dare u do dis 2 me
i fot u wer mi fren
simon
...
King Explosion Murder
now ur havin my bfs boyfren
child not boyfren
dat wuld b grus
simon
...
King Explosion Murder
lol
um
aniway..
im sry...
but its 2 much
runs 2 clif
simon
omgg
gurl no!
dun do it!
King Explosion Murder
im so sry
jumps
"WAAAAAAA!"
waluigi NO!
waluigi springs up and grabs her and cushions her fall
OMG WTF BB!
simon
omggg
King Explosion Murder
"w-waa..."
he's bleeding and his beautiful nose is broken
"I...I waa u...ima so sorwaa..."
walugi no...
simon
...
King Explosion Murder
...
"waa..."
i-I forgive u...
he dies
...
dis is all ur fault
now...
now he's ded...
now ur bb has no father...
al bc...
ur...
a SLUT!
eye glows like sans
simon
um
gurl no
ur not tinkin straigt rn
calm downnn
King Explosion Murder
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
throws pebble at
simon
ahhHH
GURL TF
STOP
King Explosion Murder
ltrly shakes teh earth
picks u up
throws into teh hole
lol
ded
simon
um
no fuk u
jumps out of hole
unsheathes flaming nuclear sowrd
bring it on!
King Explosion Murder
FINE!
does anime moves...
sky goes black...
unzips trousers
whips out huge katana penis
100ft long
FIGHT ME!
simon
;o;
FINE!
teleports behind you
ksh...
patetic...
smaacks u wit sword an u go flyingg
King Explosion Murder
anchors self with penis
pulls it up and smashes into the ground, sending you miles away
simon
kuh!
uses mind powers to stop self mid flight
charges laserrrrr
now ur gonna get it...
*BEOWWWWWWWWWWWWW
LASER
King Explosion Murder
BLOCKS LASER WITH SECRET POWER...
HALF ANGEL HALF DEMON WINGS!
FLYS INTO SPACE
GROWS RLY BIG
CRUSHES EARTH!
heh...
shuldve (gone to specsavers) givn up wile u had the chance kido
cus now ur gona hav a bad tiem...
charges sans powers
destroys the fucking solar system
lol
simon
*warps in front of u(
psh...
i nevr cared abt teh stoopid solar ssystem...
grabs ur eye
charges big hand laser
now ur gonn get ZAPPED an DIE...
BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
King Explosion Murder
he...
simon
ZPAPAPPAP
King Explosion Murder
hehhehh...
hehehehehe
HAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAA
HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA
U RLY THINK UVE WON
simon
hm?
King Explosion Murder
U R SUCH AN IDIOT!
TURNS OUT TO BE A HOLOGRAPH
say gudnight bish...
stabs through chest
is rose quartz
u fought well...
but not wel enuf...
smirks
zaps u away
simon
...
..
.
King Explosion Murder
now...
its tome 2 go home
flys away to waa world
fin
owo