A/N: This one is set post-Avengers.

Plot: Loki was serving his time in Asgard and had expressed that he was truly sorry. Odin did some tests and discovered the tesseract's power had had a big impact on Loki's actions and Thor suggested to Odin that Loki could join the Avengers as reparations and Odin agreed. After being a part of the team for three months Loki was allowed to do/go wherever he wanted and the Avengers had all grown to like him and he had grown to... tolerate them so he stayed. Thor and Loki are together already in this chapter.

Loki huffed as Thor sat next to him on the couch in the living room of their floor in Stark Tower. The bigger God looked over to him in confusion to see Loki glaring at the page in his book. Thor leant over to read the page to see what was upsetting him but a rush of air hit him in the face as the book was slammed shut. He looked up to see Loki scowling at him, his piercing eyes looked like they were trying to set Thor on fire by just the sheer intensity of the glare.

"… Did I do something wrong?" Thor asked, looking confused.

Loki sighed and stood up, stalking out of the room and into their bedroom. Thor frowned and followed, knocking quietly before going to walk in but the door was locked, he pressed his ear to the door and heard Loki pacing around the room.

"Loki? Why are you upset?"

Loki ignored him.

Thor assumed he was in one of his bad moods. They seemed to happen fairly frequently since his return from the abyss. Loki had never actually told him this, but Thor assumed it was because of the nightmares and flashbacks of his time with the Chitauri that he often suffers from and because of the fall from the Bifrost as well as living on that world for a year, and the Tesseract's influences on his mind. All this together and he was still trying to be okay, Thor truly admired Loki's strength.

But sometimes he got sad. Maybe something would set him off, someone – most likely Tony or Clint – would make a joke that could hit a little too close to home. Or he might see something, a memorial to a victim of the attack on New York, a file on the Tesseract Steve may have left out by accident, and he'd get sad.

There were four types of sad that Loki would get.

Number one: The sulking kind. He would sit in their room or sprawl himself out on the couch and stare blankly into space for hours. Thor would get worried but he usually would just lay down with him or make him a cup of tea and stay until the mood passed or until Loki told him what was bothering him, if it was anything in particular. When he was in this mood Loki didn't like being around anyone else and would often tell JARVIS to refuse entry to the floor to anyone but Thor unless there was an emergency.

Loud noises would often upset him more so Thor would be extra careful to be quiet around him, he'd take his shoes off, turn the television right down and mute JARVIS (the mute would automatically come off if JARVIS sensed a threat). He'd even close the door to the kitchen so the sound of the kettle wasn't too loud for him.

Number two: The angry kind. This sometimes happens with the jokes. Not in front of the others though. He wouldn't want them to see that he wasn't as in control of himself as it appears, he didn't want them to see that he was still unstable, even if it wasn't the psychotic murderous kind anymore. No, he would quietly excuse himself or slip off without anyone realizing – this could be five minutes or five hours after the joke had initially been made and Loki would be waiting until it didn't appear his absence was related to the joke. Or it would be because he was overthinking it, running it through his mind over and over, picking apart every word, every tone in their voice, every little twitch of body language as they said it as well as how the others reacted, making it all seem to him a lot more than it was – then he would go up to his and Thor's floor, go into their bedroom or their bathroom and then just. Go. Completely. Insane.

He would throw things, smash things, destroy things, put his fists through walls, break furniture, throw his books against walls, bang his head against the wall, rip things out of the closets and drawers, throw them around, throws balls of energy at the furniture to make it catch fire and many more.

Thor would usually come in to see Loki curled up on the floor, surrounded by pieces of their belongings, crying softly and watching the small fire consume what was left of their bedside table. He wouldn't yell or question what happened or why Loki did it, Thor would simply lift Loki into his arms and lay him on the bed far from the fire to make sure he didn't get hurt as he goes to retrieve a bucket of water from their kitchen and pours it on the fire to put it out. Thor doesn't bother sorting anything else out after making sure Loki isn't in any immediate danger and crawls into bed behind him, holding him as he cries.

Sometimes Thor isn't even quite sure why Loki would go into these fits of rage but he started to realize that whenever it happened, Loki made sure Thor was far away before losing control. One day, Thor confronted him about this thinking it was because Loki didn't want Thor to stop him or he didn't want Thor to see him that way but Loki told him it was because he didn't want to risk hurting him.

When he went into these rages he wasn't in control of himself, he wasn't really in a conscious state of mind, which is why he locks himself in the room. So that he can't hurt anyone who happens to walk in but himself. He didn't want Thor to try and stop him and him to end up throwing a dagger at him or something.

Number three: The snappy kind. This is where no matter what anyone did, they were wrong and irritating. When he was in this state we would usually lock himself away and scowl at the wall for a while until it passed. Then he would come back out again and sincerely apologize to anyone he may have offended. To their credit, they were all very understanding since Loki stormed off the first time and Thor explained before Loki came back to apologize. They all just smiled and said it didn't matter and that they forgave him.

The worst case related to this phase was when he made Pepper cry. Tony and she had broken up and he had started dating Bruce but she was still Tony's PA and friend. One day she came to the tower to talk about some business stuff and she was clearly flirting with Tony and, as she got him to sign something, her breasts were a little too close to Tony's head so Bruce was starting to get a little upset. He had taken his glasses off and was pinching the bridge of his nose and, when Pepper touched Tony's thigh and Bruce visibly cringed, Loki got pissed off too.

At first he seemed calm, he was sat in between Tony and Thor on the L shaped couch – Bruce the other side of Tony – and he asked Pepper, quite coldly, if there was anything else she needed. Pepper didn't approve of Loki joining the Avengers or living in Stark Tower so she pointedly told him she didn't need to report to him, she was "Tony's". And Loki rolled his eyes.

"Yes, Tony is a very lucky man. I'd kill to have an irritating shadow of a mistake lagging behind me everywhere," He put a little too much emphasis on 'kill' and Pepper stepped back a little.

No one was quite sure what to say or do, they didn't expect this, and Loki stood up too quick for Thor to catch his arm to step closer to Pepper.

"When was the last time you dated a man who didn't leave you for someone else? You seemed to have gotten over Stark moving on to Bruce pretty quickly, which indicates it has happened before, am I right?"

Pepper stuttered and blushed, making Loki smirk. "Oh, there's more… This isn't the first time a man has left you for another man, is it." It wasn't really a question, more of a statement but Pepper stuttered again, attempting to answer. Steve was the only one who looked away out of common courtesy, everyone else stared openly at Pepper and Loki.

"Have you ever thought that maybe it's not them just realizing who they are but it's actually you? Maybe you make them prefer men, you're that annoying you put people off your whole gender!"

Pepper had started to tear up at this point and Loki huffed out a laugh. "And the typical female escape route, you start crying!" There was a faint cry of 'Hey!' coming from Natasha but everyone ignored her.

"Tony told you when he broke up with you he thought you were dying you cried so much. You were only dating for a month, and you cried because of him in front of him? Get some self-respect!"

At that point Pepper had run out crying, which is actually quite impressive in the heels she was wearing. When the door slammed shut Loki, seemed to have realized what he'd done and quickly excused himself to go to his room. A few hours later Pepper came back to get the sheets she had left in a hurry and Loki stopped her to apologize. After staring at him in shock for a few seconds, Pepper accepted his apology and the coffee he offered her.

Number four: Self-loathing. This one is like a mixture of the first two but it without doubt the one Thor is most afraid of. When he was in this phase everyone knew. Not just because he was in a foul mood but also because when he came down to the communal level of Stark Tower – which was the middle floor, exactly half way between the roof and the ground floor and was basically where all the Avengers could hang out together – he wouldn't care about anything, wouldn't want to talk to anyone but would still like the company, and would take everything to heart. Whenever someone would make a joke about him when he was in this state he would visibly cringe and sink lower into the corner of the couch, drawing his knees closer to his chest.

Thor was worried that people would get annoyed at his brother when he was in this state but, much to his gratitude, they just tried extra hard to be sensitive around him which was hard for some – especially Tony, Clint or Natasha – and Bruce would always make him a mug of hot chocolate and Tony would avoid the news channels like the freaking plague. Whenever he wasn't in anyone's company, however, was worse. This is the reason Thor always makes him come and sit with him and the others when he's in this stage. When he's left alone with his thoughts, the self-doubt and self-loathing comes out and all Loki wants to do is not be a burden anymore. There has been way too many times where Thor had found Loki with a knife or piece of broken glass in his hands poised against his wrist or his chest or stomach or a particularly nasty looking potion raised to his lips.

This is why Thor hates this one most, he's petrified that one day he won't break the door of their bedroom down quick enough, or he won't rip the blade from his lover's shaky fingers in time and he would lose the love of his life again. This time permanently. Another reason Thor hates it so much is because he can never do anything to change Loki's mind. No matter how much he tell him he loves him, that those deaths weren't all his fault, that he wasn't a monster, Loki would just shake his head in disbelief and continue crying. This is what hurts Thor the most.

No physical blow could ever amount to the emotional blow of his lover and baby brother wanting to end his own life despite his love and comfort. Yet, Loki continues to insist that this is all he'll ever need from Thor.

When he was in this mood, all Thor could do was comfort him, stay with him, and wait for him to come out of it on his own.

Thor sighed a little, not out of exasperation but out of concern. He wasn't sure what mood today was but he assumed it was snappy. Last time he was snappy he had blurted out at Steve that everyone he loved was dead. Loki's eyes had widened as soon as the words had left his mouth and he apologized profusely and telling him he didn't mean it through the tears of frustration – at himself – that slipped down his face. Steve had reassured him that he knew Loki didn't mean it and it was okay.

"Loki?" He knocked on the door again and heard something hit the other side of the door, probably a book. "Loki, please…"

There was silence. Thor sighed again and thought for second before he went to make tea.

Thor got JARVIS to unlock the door to the bedroom and he walked in carrying a tray with two mugs of tea and a plate of biscuits.

"Love?" He set the tray on the cabinet near the door and went into the ensuite bathroom where Loki was sat on the floor staring at the tiles on the wall.

"Loki?" Thor crouched down next to him and Loki's eyes snapped to his.

"What?!" Loki stood up suddenly and pushed past Thor, who fell sideways before getting up to follow his brother.

"Why can't you just leave me alone!?" Loki spun round and growled at him, his eyes looked cold and emotionless.

Thor stepped back when he saw the look in Loki's eyes. "I wanted to make sure you're okay…"

Loki rolled his eyes. "I'm not a child, Thor, I can take care of myself!"

"I know… But I'm your big brother, I'm supposed to care for you,"

"Well I don't care about you!" Loki shouted back at him and Thor stared at him in shock. "I don't want you here! I don't love you!"

At the last bit, Loki froze and Thor looked close to tears.

"You… You don't love me?"

Loki shook his head quickly meaning that no, he does love him, but Thor misread it and wipes the tears from his cheeks quickly before going to leave the room but Loki beat him to the door slamming it shut.

"No, I do love you, Thor! I love you, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," He explained in a rush and Thor's brows drew together.

"Why did you say it if it isn't true? If you do love me?"

Loki parted his lips a little to say something but nothing came out. He really didn't know why he said that but Thor took pity on him at his lost look, pulling him into his arms. Thor thought he might have said it because Loki would always say anything to get what he wanted and in that moment he just wanted Thor gone but he didn't voice this opinion.

"Say it again. Say you love me," He requested, running one hand up and down Loki's back and keeping the other around his waist.

"I love you, I love you so, so much…" Loki draped his arms over Thor's neck and Thor kissed him sweetly, barely brushing their lips together but it was enough to make Loki relax into his arms. Thor slipped the arm from Loki's back to behind his knees and lifted him bridal style to the bed, laying him down gently so his back was against the headboard and retrieving the tray from beside the door. He set in on the bedside table and sat beside Loki on the bed, taking one of the mugs of tea and handing it to him then he held the biscuit plate to him and Loki smiled a little, taking one.

Loki linked one of his arms through Thor's and snuggles against his side, sipping his tea.

"I love you, Thor, more than anything," Loki stated quietly, still feeling like he needs to reassure him.

Thor smiled and kissed the top of Loki's head. "I love you too, Loki,"