Disclaimer: I don't own Glee.
Summary: He never thought Finn would explode like that. Each slur, each terrible time he used that word, cut him a thousand times over. KurtFinn, set during Theatricality, oneshot
Okay, so WOW for this episode. I just wanted to do a piece on Kurt's thoughts as Finn basically made an ass of himself. I adore Burt, just saying. So glad he put Finn in his place. It was lovely. Okay, anyway, here's my latest Glee fic! Enjoy!
Monster
He was only trying to do something nice.
Kurt could tell that Finn was growing increasingly uncomfortable with the whole situation of living with him, so he had made a sacrifice.
It was a small one, minute even, compared to all of the sacrifices that Finn had to make in putting up with Kurt, but still, it was the thought that counts. And Kurt thought that completely redecorating his already fabulous room would be a nice gesture for Finn. Making it more masculine would help things, he thought.
He was obviously mistaken.
He knew he was wrong when he saw Finn's eyes when he entered their room. They widened with anger, so unlike the man he'd come to know, and his nostrils flared in aggravation.
Had he done something wrong?
Kurt could clearly see the vein in the other man's neck, protruding with barely suppressed rage.
What was he made at? Kurt had only helped to fix the room that he thought Finn had such an aversion to, and now he looked…
He looked angry.
With a quizzical eyebrow raised, he waited for Finn to lose it. He didn't think that it would be so bad when Finn finally had a break from his usual carefree demeanor, but it was indeed one of the worst things he had ever been subjected to.
"…with these faggy curtains…"
Did…did he just say that word?
Kurt was in shock at the word that came spewing from Finn's lips, full of hatred and prejudice. "F-Finn!"
Finn tried to rip at one of the shawls Kurt had carefully placed around the place.
"…and these faggy blankets!"
Oh…God… Kurt thought, and he felt like he was about to be physically ill.
"And these faggy pillows!"
No, no, no.
This can't be happening.
He was only trying to help, to smooth the ruffled feathers between them, and then this…this happened.
No…
All of Kurt's thoughts were screaming denial. That this couldn't happen. His Finn was a kind person, understanding and caring and respectful of other people's lives and how they lived them. His Finn was eager to help. His Finn was a person who had joined Glee club, despite the fact that it would get him ostracized from the entire student body.
His Finn was a person that he loved.
But no, he felt that affection - as well as respect - shattering at his feet like a thousand shards of glass, broken and unrecognizable.
He could only stand in shock as Finn degraded everything he had done for his sake. Okay, maybe, he could have put in a few sports posters or something, but he didn't know if… Oh, who was he kidding? He thought the room was perfect now, but obviously Finn didn't, and he was taking it out in the worst way possible.
Kurt felt tears spring to his eyes as yet another insult was hurled his way.
"…stupid, faggy - "
Something had stopped him, and Kurt was puzzled as to what. Because whatever it was, it looked like Finn was mortified and ashamed, and he was looking past him.
"What did you just say?"
Kurt's heart skipped in his chest. A mixture of fright and relief flooded through his small body at the sound of his father's authoritative voice.
Before he had the chance to turn around, Burt was standing in front of him, posture tense, and his voice undeniably hurt. But beyond that hurt, there was a protectiveness that outshone everything else.
He was proud to have Burt Hummel for a father. He knew that, despite all of the strife it had caused him to accept his alternate way of living, that his father loved him dearly, and now he was protecting him.
Like a mama bear. Kurt would later think that night.
Burt reprimanded him, telling him to get out, that they don't use that word in this house, and that it is disrespectful. He put Finn in his place, and Lord help him, Kurt was glad he did, despite the way he felt for him even if that feeling was fleeting now, being drained out of his body like blood into an IV.
During the confrontation, Kurt tried to intervene, but futilely. His father silenced him as well, and despite the fact that some part of him - some stupid, hopelessly pathetic part of him - wanted Finn to come out unscathed, he knew this had to be done.
Tears, hot and sticky and filled with betrayal, ran down his face as he watched Finn's face go from shocked to distressed to ashamed in a matter of minutes. The tears just wouldn't stop falling from his eyes, and he didn't bother to wipe them away.
After several minutes - they seemed like hours, in Kurt's opinion - Finn left, leaving Kurt crying and Burt with a sense of anger that he hadn't felt in a while.
Kurt knew it would be tough. Being gay in such a small town with such skewed values of right and wrong would never be easy, and that fact was staring him in the face right now, laughing at him. His father made a slight move and then wrapped Kurt in his arms, hugging him so he felt the kind of parental love that seeped through his bones and made him cry even harder.
The smaller man squeezed his eyes shut as he cried harder and harder, the sobs so violent and out of control that he felt his father's arms tighten each time he let out a strangled cry. He knew this was the complete opposite of pretty, something he tried daily to maintain. This was ugly. Ugly, ugly, ugly. In fact, he'd never felt more hideous in his life.
He recognized that was what his father was here for - what parents were here for in general. To make their kids feel better, even when they felt awful. And even when they felt awful for something that wasn't their fault.
He sighed and felt another set of sobs wrack his small body, feeling even worse.
Because, every time he closed his eyes to escape the reality of this situation, Finn's face flashed behind his lids. Only two - one, was Finn's angry expression just mere minutes ago. The other, was Finn's face, crumpled by shame and guilt and disgrace.
As Kurt stifled a hiccup that accompanied his tears, he couldn't figure out which was worse.
End.
So, yeah. I'm a little late at posting this, but I figure better late than never! This scene was just so…OMG would be the best thing to describe it. It was powerful and just so emotional and I wanted to hit Finn in his face! This episode was just screaming to have something written about it, and here is my interpretation. It's nothing long, and it's definitely a far cry from my other fics with Kurt as a main character, so I hope that everyone enjoyed this! I would love to hear your opinions on it!
Thanks for reading!