Passive Sacrifice
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A/N: So after posting Clearance Sacrifice I felt the need to touch on their 'future conversation'. And I couldn't do that without playing out the death that would make said conversation possible. This is one of the many endings I see for Red John. It's vague, but that's only because his death is only a means to a beginning of sorts. Just please don't hate me for making Lorelei a part of it…
Let's say spoilers for The Crimson Hat and all of Season 5 just to be safe.
As always I hope you enjoy…
Disclaimer: As I've previously stated, I own nothing to do with them…
In the end you're not alone when he finally falls.
The rooms are void of light and sound with exception to both your shallow breathing and the reflection of the moonlight that's bouncing around the puddles scattered on the basement floor. The lifeless body sprawled between you brings out a sudden calm in you both. You realize then that everyone who has ever told you not to expect satisfaction in death couldn't fully comprehend the depth of the situation.
Because you do feel satisfied, you feel freed of the guilt that has consumed you longer than your love. And now all at once there's a need in you to fill every corner left in its wake with something much more brilliant. Something you're sure you'll need some time to fully understand.
You're startled when you look up and find mahogany eyes staring back at you. You realize your subconscious was reaching out to someone else, it was expecting the cool patient green you've grown so accustomed to over the years. There's a gentle tug within your chest and it's coupled with a longing to see those eyes in person.
There's a time and place for the thoughts you catch roaming your mind and you're happy to find that time is all but here. You only hope you can prove yourself worthy after this final charade.
The woman before you has been misjudged, misled, and misunderstood the majority of her life; but not by you. You knew from the moment you met you would bring about this day together, you just never knew it would be in the physical scenes.
Her dedication has mirrored your own and has thus offered you a partnership of sorts. She was a criminal before you were graced with knowing her and after tonight she will forever remain one in the name of the law.
You've offered her the ability to participate and in turn she's giving you the freedom to walk away.
Full blame will rest on her shoulders; should she actually be caught. You've both put in the time and effort to ensure there will be no proof of your participation in this matter. As far as anyone else is concerned you are very far away from here.
So now you share a smile and watch the edges of her eyes fill. She nods and you know there are a few details left to finish tonight before your freedom is certain. You both turn for the stairs, skirting the growing puddles of coppery scented crimson.
The stench mixes with the unmistakable tell of gasoline.
You turn away and take the stairs without a second glance. The smell is stronger here, the floor boards creak and seep with the tension of saturation. As you break free into the night you inhale deeply. The air is cool and crisp and it's filled with the promise of fall. You're grateful for it as it helps deaden the copper you can swear you taste at the back of your throat.
You hear her lighter catch as she follows you out and then the roar of fire as it engulfs the swollen wood.
You stand together and watch the amber flames reach toward the midnight sky. The old farm house is engulfed within moments. The hiss and pop of wood and glass the only sounds in the dead of night.
She takes your hand and leans into you for a brief moment, you rest your face along her hair, the golden tendrils long since faded and then dyed a fiercer shade of red. If you passed her on the street you'd hardly recognize her but you're well aware that's exactly the point.
The woman who was once Lorelei Martin is no more.
"Thank you for this, Patrick. I know where ever Miranda is she's thankful too." She tightens her hold for only a moment and steps back to look you in the eye. "And you know this secret will accompany me to the grave."
You don't tell her you don't believe in such things, you're sure she already knows. But you know the gesture for what it is and so you allow your smile to take on a heightened edge of sincerity. You brush the lingering moisture from her eyes and kiss her forehead gently.
You've come to mean more to each other these last months. In all your years there's never been a single member of law enforcement to equal her valor. You'd never wish your fate on anyone so you find yourself feeling slightly guilty for being thankful your situations were similar enough to warrant a shared desire.
You know her attachment has grown a touch of romance around its edges, and you're grateful she doesn't hold your lack of reciprocation against you; she's always known where your heart longs to be.
She knew before you were even able to admit it to yourself.
You're more than positive you'll think of each other often and relive this night many times in your dreams but you know the day will come when you can no longer bring her face to mind fully from memory.
Those whose devotion has brought you here would most definitely question the current company you're keeping, especially once they realize you've yet again misguided them. There's never been room for their emotions within the confines of your revenge so it was with a heavier heart than you will ever admit that you sent them chasing the proverbial wild goose. You hope they will one day understand you were unwilling to subject them to witness an act that goes against their grain.
Because in the end they're all you have left, and you refuse to taint their hands with the crimson stain of murder.
But those thoughts will need to be saved for another time. Death is permanent, always, and it brings to life consequences you have no desire to sift through. Because now it's brought about a side of you that you haven't seen in years. You've found you're more than a little humbled by what you're starting to find buried beneath all your hatred and rage.
The house is now fully consumed by flames and the heat has become overbearing. So you share one last moment and then you both turn toward your individual futures. You are well aware you'll never share another moment of camaraderie again. There will be no need to, your lives will once again be something worth living and there's no place for this part of your past there.
Your pace quickens as you navigate the growing darkness. You find you're more than just a little eager to see those patient emerald eyes. They'll be filled with anger, exhaustion and something bordering on disappointment but once you allow her a few moments to rant it will all be set aside and you'll see them soften with acceptance and affection. Her loyalty has always been the reality backing your determination and it's time to prove to her exactly how much it's all come to mean to you.
She needs to know that what you've done was as much for her as it was for you and yours. Her life has become a necessity in the continuation of your own. And only when she's fully capable of understanding it will your life be where you're sure it's meant to.
A promise kept has brought about another made and the thought is exhilarating. It's not the challenge or the prospect of the arguments she'll most likely bring to light, it's knowing there's a part of you that you'll allow her to see that's been set aside for the last decade.
In the distance, you see the cloudy outline of streetlights and you know you're night is nearly over. Your car is parked just as you left it along the side of the road, hidden from view in the unlikely event someone's ventured this far out into nowhere.
As you reach your car the silence of the night is penetrated by the tell tale sound of sirens. If you squint you can see the smoke as it navigates the sky.
You wait as the vibrant red trucks pass your hiding spot. You start the car and begin your long drive back to the only place that's ever really felt like home. You find yourself humming along to the radio as you check your watch and smile.
They're right on time.
A/N: I've never felt the need to ask before, but a touch of feedback would be much appreciated