Sequel to 'Tears of Love'. Gibbs turns to Abby as he tries to move on from Tony's death.
A sequel to my first one-shot which wasn't planned at first but then requested by STLFAN so I thought I might as well give it a whirl. It's not AS sad, although I did sniffle a bit at the end, but maybe that's just me. Hope you enjoy!
I still don't own NCIS, and all mistakes are still mine.
"He's gone, Abs. He's dead. My son is dead. Just like Kelly, like Shannon." Gibbs whispered, his voice hoarse from sleepless nights of drinking and raging. "He's dead and it's my fault. If I hadn't been there, he'd still be alive."
"But you don't know that Gibbs." Came the hesitant reply from Abby, who was fighting strongly to control her emotions. "If you hadn't been shot at, then it would have been Ziva, or McGee or still Tony. And if they had been shot and you wouldn't have been there, then you'd feel worse, you'd never forgive yourself."
Abby held back a sob, but the tears slid relentlessly down her face. She also hadn't slept, her days were spent in the comforting arms of her team mates and building a shrine in memory of her brother. No one had dared to approach Gibbs. She wanted to but she didn't know what to say or do, but when he had called her out of the blue, asking her to come over, she didn't hesitate, hoping that she wasn't too late and wouldn't loose her father as well as her beloved Tony. And so now she sat there, trying desperately to bring comfort with the words that had helped soothe her own broken heart, but then, she hadn't lost a child, had she.
"Gibbs, he died on his terms, in his own time. He held on until he'd said his goodbyes and he'd told you what you meant to him, not many people get that chance. You never got that with Shannon and Kelly, but you did with Tony." Abby said softly, slowly moving down the basement steps.
"Oh, so I'm meant to be GRATEFUL? That it?! THANK you god for taking my son from me so nicely, THANK YOU!" He bellowed at the ceiling, days of rage and grief shaking through his body as he threw back his head back, waving his arms around like a lunatic. Suddenly a wave of exhaustion overcame him and he sank to the ground and looked at the dirty floor.
"He wasn't meant to die, not like that. Not in that empty parking lot, next to a dumpster on the dirty ground." he whispered.
"But he didn't Gibbs! He died in your arms. There's no place where he'd rather have been in the end you hear me?" Abby defiantly crossed her arms as she sat down on the ground beside him. "He was happy when he died, you where with him so he wasn't alone. In those few minutes you gave him more than he's ever had, and more than most people have when they kick the bucket. Yeh I wish it hadn't happened as well and I don't know if I'll ever get over it, but I know this much Gibbs, you listen to me now."
She reached in her pocket and pulled out a picture of the Gibbs and Tony, it was a picture of Gibbs head slapping Tony, but both were smiling at each other. She fondly stared at it and cradled it to her chest.
"He went out with a bang, you know Tony, always the dramatic one, but there's nothing he'd have rather done, saving your life that is. Tony woulda wanted his death to mean something, so don't you let him die in vain. Make his sacrifice worth something, don't throw your life away, cus I'm sure that Tony is stubborn enough to find a way to come down all the way from heaven and kick your butt mister!" She laughed softly through the tears staining her cheeks and carefully placed the picture in Gibbs' lap, who looked up and smiled at her, a hint of gratefulness in the sorrow. He still hadn't moved from the floor, and stayed down as Abby placed a slobbery kiss on his cheek and left the basement.
Gibbs stood and sighed, the weight of a thousand worlds threatening to pull him under. That's when he felt it, a sharp slap to the back of his head. He turned around to see Tony stand behind him. His outline was blurred and he was slightly transparent. Knew I was drinking too much Gibbs thought morbidly. Now I'm seeing ghosts, great.
"Ha, you deserved that one Boss. You never bothered to say how you felt about me, so don't start now." Tony's apparition joked. "God I always wanted to slap you, felt good too!" Hands in his pocket, he walked over to the table and lent against it.
"Please don't throw your life away Gibbs, the team is your family, they need you and you need them just as much. Plus, I've put so much effort into making the team what it is, I don't want that ruined. I understand you, I really do, after all, I've lost you, my family, when I died. But we're all still together. I know that because it's been years since Kate died, and she's still here... with you, with us in the bullpen, in this basement. So I know that I'll always be with you guys. So go and drink and mope for a while as I know you're gonna do, but don't abandon everything else that you love. Don't waste the life I gave you. Hold on to that and never forget me. Please. Promise me you'll try. Promise me Dad." His voice had melted into a soft whisper by the end of his speech. Gibbs knew he was hallucinating, but didn't care. His reply was sincere, his voice held all the love of a father. The tears fell down his face and as Tony began to fade he whispered into the silence.
"I promise you Tony, my son. You'll always be here with me, for as long as I live. Always."
The days passed by, and Tony's ghost never appeared again, but Gibbs still saw Tony everywhere. He saw him in every happy smile, in the carefree laugh of a young child in the street. He saw him in the way Ziva threw spit balls across the bull pen, in the way McGee checked his keyboard for superglue every morning, in the way Abby regaled them with Tommy Lee Jones movie quotes. In the way Ducky rambled stories about how he once knew a brave young lad who had survived the plague. Gibbs saw Tony in the way his team became confident, strong individuals. Tony was with them all, always loved and remembered. They hadn't lost Tony, for he was part of who they all were, he was still there and always would be.
Gibbs moved on, but he never let go. And so months later, as Gibbs sailed the sea in the first completed boat in his life, he smiled. He didn't take for granted the life that Tony had given him, he cherished it with every single breath of the fresh ocean breeze. Tony's death had been the beginning of a new life. Gibbs' life. But he would never forget, he had made a promise after all. And as he sailed away on the Anthony, he looked to the sky and sighed. Leroy Jethro Gibbs was finally at peace. He was home.
"Where we love is home. Home that our feet may leave, but not out hearts."
-Oliver Wendell Holmes
A/N Ahh more tears, my bad. That was nice. Cheesy but nice.
Thanks by the way for all the words of encouragement and reviews from my first story, and in advance for ones for this one.
Hope you enjoyed it!
Nox