My name is Katniss Everdeen. I am 17 years old. I am being abused by my boyfriend Gale Hawthorne. We have been together for 2 years, 3 weeks, 6 days and counting... I just want the pain to end but i know it won't.
Everyday i always ask myself why i am still breathing. The answer is simple. Prim, my beautiful sister, who has inherited the best qualities our family has to offer: my mother's healing hands, my father's level head, and my fight. There's something else there as well, something entirely her own. An ability to look into the confusing mess of life and see things for what they are.
I protect Primrose from everything i can but i am powerless against the Reaping... It's Prim's first reaping this year, she is about as safe as you can get with only one slip in the big bowl of girl's names. My name is in there 20 times. I really hope that me and Prim are both spared but the odd's never seem to be in my favour. The reaping is basically taking the kids from our districts, forcing them to kill one another while we watch – this is the Capitol's way of reminding us how totally we are at their mercy. How little chance we would stand of surviving another rebellion. Whatever words they use, the real message is clear. "Look how we take your children and sacrifice them and there's nothing you can do. If you lift a finger, we will destroy every last one of you. Just as we did in District Thirteen."
I am currently laying down on my sofa relaxing when i hear the loud crash from the kitchen, like a door slamming and Gale's booming voice calling me. "KATNISS! KAATNISSS!" He's been drinking... this is going to be a long night.
I slowly make my way to the kitchen where i find Gale stumbling towards me. I hesitate in the doorway before cautiously saying "Hey honey... you called for me?" I silently curse myself for sounding so weak and small.
Gale's eyes throw daggers my way, "Why the FUCK did it take you so long to answer me!?" Gale angrily questions me. I choke back the building fear and anxiety as I calmly tell Gale I was sleeping but I can tell he doesn't believe me.
"Katniss, Katniss, Katniss." Gale taunts me before hitting me in the face. "What did I tell you about lying to me?" I don't answer him as I cup my sour cheek with the palm of my hand.
Gale has a sadistic smile on his face as he watches me crumpled on the ground.
"I'm sorry Gale." I whimper as Gale grabs my wrists and pulls me up before slamming me into a wall and pinning my arms above my head. "You better be Catnip. But i think a punishment will remind you what happens when you lie to me" Gale growls in my ear.
Gale's hands claim my skin possessively. He is touching me in a rough, hungry way. "I want you so bad Katniss" Gale whispers seductively in my ear which makes me cringe away from him but his grip just tightens on me. Unexpectedly, Gale throws me over his shoulder and makes his way towards my bedroom and proceeds to climb on top of me. We had some really rough sex the other day, and I am not physically or emotionally ready for another round.
"Gale," I whimper, "I don't know if I feel up to sex tonight."
He then raises his arm and then backhands my face. I let out a yelp, as my body flies to the other side of the bed. He slithers his way to me, and then he begins to kiss my neck.
"Katniss," He says in-between kisses, "You don't get to make this decision. Just shut up and take it like a good little whore."
His words sting me. Suddenly, my eyesight becomes blurry, and I try my hardest to keep the tears from falling - crying will only make him more upset. After only thirty seconds I accidentally let out a sniffle. Thankfully, he mistakes the sound for a noise of pleasure.
"Yes, you are a good little whore." He repeats once again.
I cannot help it anymore. Tears begin to slowly stream down my face, and onto his body. He grunts with discontent when they make contact with his skin.
"Why are you crying?" He asks coldly, void of any sympathy.
"I-I'm sorry, Gale. I just don't want to have sex tonight." I shakily reply.
He lets out an irate noise, and then he bites down, hard, on my neck. My lips release a sharp cry of agony when his teeth rip into the sensitive skin on my neck.
"DAMMIT KATNISS!" he yells in pure frustration, "Honestly, how fucking hard is it for you to just lie on your goddamn back and take it?"
Before I can reply, he punches several times on my stomach, arms, and thighs. I try to curl up in pain; however, his hands grasp my body and rip off my clothes. I choke back my now ever so cascading tears, because I know at this point, it's useless to resist.
"Please don't be too aggressive," I quietly ask.
"Oh, Katniss," He remarks, "I will be as rough as I choose to be, and you will enjoy it."
And with that, he unzips his pants, pulls his stiff member out, and forces his way into me. I scream out in pain.
While he continues to force his way in and out of me, he states, "Tonight, I'm going to fuck the shit out of you."
He then grins wickedly. I know that I am in for another night in hell.
The slight light coming through the window wakes me up. I slowly begin to sit up against the head board, I grimace moderately while doing so. I tensely glance down at my naked body. I allow myself to release a tiny sigh of dismay. The skin covering my stomach has several patches of black and blue on it, my legs have small chaotic scratches, and my face… Well I don't really want to know what my face looks like.
I slide off my edge of the bed, being particularly careful to not wake Gale up, and then I make my way over to my dresser.
I pull out a bra, a pair of panties, a green shirt, and a pair of dark grey jeans. Then I soundlessly sneak my way into the bathroom that's connected to our bedroom. As I look in the mirror at my abused body, a single tear escapes my eye and I let out a shaky breath. I also stare at the reflection of my face. On my left cheek, I have a nasty purple bruise, several red patches are visible directly under my left eye, and I have a savage bite mark on my neck.
I turn the faucet on and begin to wash my face. Finally, when my face is washed and dried, I whip out my many different types of concealers, and begin to paint away my marks of mistreatment. I then begin to change into my clothes, once I have finished applying my cover up.
I head down the stairs and into the kitchen. My cooking skills really are not that great, and Gale lets me know this every single night. I have just never been one that enjoys to cook, paint, bake, or anything that isn't around the lines of being an athletic hobby.
That's what had attracted me to Gale in the first place. The two of us met years ago in the forbidden woods, and we soon became reliant on each other's skills. We were both so alike. We are both so alike; unfortunately though, Gale completely exercised his alpha-male status. I should have stopped him way back then, but at that time I was too naïve, I was too much of a pleaser, and at that time too in love.
I turned on a burner on the stove, and placed a pan on top of it. When it became hot, I cracked three eggs onto the pan, and then I began to continuously stir them until they were fully cooked. I placed the eggs onto a round yellow plate, and as an after touch, I threw on a small pinch of salt.
I placed the plate onto the dining room table, and then headed outside the house. I had been secretly saving money for the past four months, and as a treat, I decided to buy myself a pastry or two from District Twelve's local bakery.
Mellark's Bakery was practically heaven on earth, well, a very expensive version of heaven. People from the Seam, like me, have a difficult time affording anything from the bakery. Generally, the only time we purchase something from there, would be for graduations, weddings, or celebrations of births.
But today, I smiled to myself. Today, I get to indulge.
I work part-time at the goat ranch. Recently I have been putting a small fraction of my earnings into a jar. That jar is my security, if Gale and I were to ever separate.
God, if he were to find out… I shudder at that thought. That would be terrible.
I quickly erase any negative thoughts from my head when I become aware that I am standing in front of the bakery. I push open the door, which causes a small bell to jingle, and then I walk up to the counter. My eyes hungrily and greedily stare at all the small and delicate treats that line the inside of the glass counter.
"May I help you?" A voice, that I fairly recognize, asks me.
I tilt my head up to look at who the voice came from. Of course, It's Peeta Mellark. He's probably eighteen now, so it makes sense that he would be promoted to work at the front of the store.
"Katniss, is that you?" He asks when his eyes meet my eyes for the first time, "Hi! How have you been?"
I can't help but genuinely smile at the sound of his voice. I will always remember the way Peeta has a gift with words.
"I'm fine, thank you. A little tired, but doing good," I reply, "And how about you?"
"Right now, pretty good. But let me tell you," He talks to me with such familiarity, that I have to remember that I haven't seen him in over seven months, "I got this nasty burn a couple hours earlier. My older brother, Rye, was doing some sugar work… And he accidentally knocked the molten sugar on my leg. I'd show it to you, but id rather not upset your appetite."
He then smiles extremely cutely and then releases a small laugh of mock-disapproval.
"Oh my gosh," I say, my voice filled with concern, "Are you ok? Did you go to the hospital?"
He gives me a lopsided smile and begins to talk, "Do you think…" He then leans closer to me and in a hushed voice, he whispers, "Do you believe that… that my crazy old woman," he stops for a second and takes several careful looks behind his shoulder, causing me to laugh, "that she would let me take the day off because of some silly little leg wound? Don't be silly Katniss."
I can't help it. I tried to suppress it, but in that moment, he made me feel an instant of happiness. But then I remembered what I was laughing about.
"Peeta," He looks at me, "If your leg hurts too much you can always come by my mother's house. I'm sure she would check out your leg, and make sure no permanent damage has occurred."
"Oh thank god!" Peeta exclaims, "You have no idea how much it hurts!" he says in a carefree manner while smiling.
I smile at him, but I know that his words are probably true. I know that Peeta isn't the type of person that makes a big deal out of anything, and if anything, he's probably in way more pain than he's letting me know.
"No, but seriously. You should come by her house. And if you're shy…," I give him a teasing look, "I'll escort you there myself."
I knew he was lying about the pain, because I can almost see the look of relief wash over his face.
"You'd really do that for me, Katniss?" He asks, touched.
Awww. I have just learned that Peeta has the power to melt my heart.
"Yeah definitely, I'll meet you here once you're done with work. When is that?" I ask him.
"Umm… Officially I should be done by 4:30, but knowing my brothers… They will probably be slacking, so I might have to clean the ovens and wash their dishes for them," He tells me.
Gosh, Peeta is such a good kid. I can't believe he has grown so much. I mean l can basically see his muscles through his shirt…
"Ok, I'll be here around 4:30 then," I announce, "Alright, well back to why I came here," I smile at him "I would like a chocolate éclair and one of those cookies with the primrose design."
"Yes ma'am!" He says enthusiastically.
After around thirty seconds, I notice that he has added three éclairs and quite a few cookies.
"Oh Peeta, I can't afford that. I only brought enough for one of each," I tell him slightly alarmed.
"Katniss," He almost pleadingly says, "Don't worry about it. These are on me… Just don't tell my mother… Or my burnt leg will be the last of my problems."
And with that he taped the little cardboard box up and placed it in my hand. When I started to protest, he childishly covered my mouth with his hand and pushed me out the door.
"Peeta…" I tried to whine.
"Again, don't worry about it. I've got you covered. And plus, I can't just let you help me without at least offering you a gift to show that I'm thankful," He said sincerely.
I was about to complain again, but the look in his eyes silences me. I settle for nodding, and saying a thank you.
"Well then, I will see you later tonight. Bye Peeta," I tell him.
He then surprises me when he steps up and wraps his arms around me. I surprise myself even more, when I find my arms wrapped around his back.
"Bye, Katniss," He whispers into my ear.
He then walks away, while waving, and resumes his position behind the counter.
I walked away from the bakery with a new found skip in my step.
I cannot wait for 4:30 And with that thought I walked back home from the bakery with a smile.